pam Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 http://www.kare11.com/story/life/2015/09/29/guest-gets-bill-after-not-showing-up-to-wedding/73066502/ So it seems that this woman couldn't attend a friend's wedding at the last minute due to babysitting issues. Invitation did say no kids. She was sent a bill from the bride for the meal. Proper or not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Stupid. The meal is paid for regardless of whether the person showed up or not. RSVPs are simply to determine budget. It's not a contract to attend said event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted September 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 To me there is always going to be those that for whatever reason can't show up at the last minute. You have to figure that into your contingency. It happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 (edited) To me there is always going to be those that for whatever reason can't show up at the last minute. You have to figure that into your contingency. It happens. No catering service worth its salt accounts for exact RSVPs. Catering services always adjust for + or - 5-10% depending on the size of the party. So for the bride and groom to send a no-show a bill - it speaks smack dab of pettiness. Edited September 30, 2015 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 I agree with both of you. How audacious of the bride to bill her guest. Geez. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Tacky tacky tacky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Dear newlyweds, I am so sorry that last-minute circumstances forced me to miss your wedding and reception, which I had been looking forward to with great anticipation. I am even more sorry that you see our mutual friendship as a business contract, such that you insist on payment for a no-show. I had thought our friendship was based in mutual esteem, respect, and enjoyment of each others' company. I accept your view of our relationship, and no longer consider us to be friends in any meaningful sense. In our contractual relationship, I have no legal responsibility to reimburse you for your costs in our non-negotiated transaction. However, I am willing to split the cost of this unfortunate misunderstanding. Please find enclosed a check for $37.95. This concludes our contractual relationship. On a personal note, I am sorry that my understanding of our "friendship" was so far from reality, as you have defined it. Be that as it may, I intend to have no further business transactions with you of any sort. As we have no personal relationship beyond that, and as I have no legal obligation of any sort to you, please accept my payment for our former relationship as a token of my past esteem and do not contact me further for any reason. Best of luck to you in your life, Yours truly,[signator] EarlJibbs, Sunday21, pam and 6 others 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Do you contract those mad secretarial skills out, Vort? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 I'm trying to see the bride's side. The best I can come up with is the feeling that her special day was not respected, and gave a response that shows immaturity and a probable lack of mentoring in her life. The temptation to end the relationship would be there. Vort's response is probably one that would go through our minds. I would probably just not respond, and see if the bride and groom came to their senses. If so, the friendship is saved. If not, then the result is the same. mirkwood and Vort 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Dear newlyweds, I am so sorry that last-minute circumstances forced me to miss your wedding and reception, which I had been looking forward to with great anticipation. I am even more sorry that you see our mutual friendship as a business contract, such that you insist on payment for a no-show. I had thought our friendship was based in mutual esteem, respect, and enjoyment of each others' company. I accept your view of our relationship, and no longer consider us to be friends in any meaningful sense. In our contractual relationship, I have no legal responsibility to reimburse you for your costs in our non-negotiated transaction. However, I am willing to split the cost of this unfortunate misunderstanding. Please find enclosed a check for $37.95. This concludes our contractual relationship. On a personal note, I am sorry that my understanding of our "friendship" was so far from reality, as you have defined it. Be that as it may, I intend to have no further business transactions with you of any sort. As we have no personal relationship beyond that, and as I have no legal obligation of any sort to you, please accept my payment for our former relationship as a token of my past esteem and do not contact me further for any reason. Best of luck to you in your life, Yours truly,[signator] I'll change it up a bit to say: I accept your view of our relationship, and no longer consider us to be friends in any meaningful sense. In our contractual relationship, I have no legal responsibility to reimburse you for your costs in our non-negotiated transaction. However, I have bought a crockpot that I was going to give you to start you off on wedded bliss as a token of our friendship. As my understanding of our friendship was flawed, I have returned the crockpot. But I have enclosed here a check for $37.95 which is the price of that crockpot because I have already accounted for your wedding in my budget and it is easier for me to just give it to you as a token of good will as you seem to be in dire straits for money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 I'm trying to see the bride's side. The best I can come up with is the feeling that her special day was not respected, and gave a response that shows immaturity and a probable lack of mentoring in her life. The temptation to end the relationship would be there. Vort's response is probably one that would go through our minds. I would probably just not respond, and see if the bride and groom came to their senses. If so, the friendship is saved. If not, then the result is the same. Let me introduce you to the wonderful art of Treppenwitz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David13 Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 I can't believe someone would be so rude as to bill like that.But I suppose it does happen.I would not pay it, of course.And I suppose I would never speak to them again.dc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackmarch Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 http://www.kare11.com/story/life/2015/09/29/guest-gets-bill-after-not-showing-up-to-wedding/73066502/ So it seems that this woman couldn't attend a friend's wedding at the last minute due to babysitting issues. Invitation did say no kids. She was sent a bill from the bride for the meal. Proper or not?maybe if it was some super high nobilityultra etiquette thing that billionares do. otherwise no not proper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted September 30, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 maybe if it was some super high nobilityultra etiquette thing that billionares do. otherwise no not proper. Yet if it were a billionaire, they probably wouldn't worry about the cost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackmarch Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 (edited) Yet if it were a billionaire, they probably wouldn't worry about the cost.I doubt either side would have worried if they were.. at that level of society there tends to have a lot more etiquette rules for both guests and host. Edited September 30, 2015 by Blackmarch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishcolleen Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 This was extremely rude of the bride. People have emergencies. If you spend so much on your wedding that you feel the need to bill no-show guests you are spending too much on the wedding. pam, mirkwood and pkstpaul 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 I'm trying to see the bride's side. The best I can come up with is the feeling that her special day was not respected, and gave a response that shows immaturity and a probable lack of mentoring in her life. The temptation to end the relationship would be there. Vort's response is probably one that would go through our minds. I would probably just not respond, and see if the bride and groom came to their senses. If so, the friendship is saved. If not, then the result is the same. PC, you are such a good man. I don't think I have enough compassion and Christ like love to forget something like this. I am sure I could forgive, but my friendship with them would not be the same to any degree. mirkwood 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarlJibbs Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Lame. I can't believe this is true, really?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarlJibbs Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 Perhaps no one showed up so she billed everyone? That would explain it. Blackmarch, mordorbund and Backroads 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 PC, you are such a good man. I don't think I have enough compassion and Christ like love to forget something like this. I am sure I could forgive, but my friendship with them would not be the same to any degree. Don't be so hard on yourself. If such a thing happened, and you waited it out, and a week later the bride sends out an apology that said something like: Please forgive my foolish behavior last week. I was so stressed out, and quite a few people didn't show up. In my anger I sent out those foolish bills. On reflection, I realize just how selfish those were. The wedding was fine, and hubby and I had a great honeymoon. I hope you can understand and forgive my immature and wrong-headed behavior. Sincerely, The Bride ... I'll bet most of us would then laugh it off, and be forgiving. Vort and Sunday21 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted September 30, 2015 Report Share Posted September 30, 2015 I know someone who once sent a bill to the doctor because the doctor was running an hour late and this person lost an hour of work time while waiting for the doctor. I don't know if the doctor paid the bill, but I do know that that person was never kept waiting again. I've occasionally pondered the morality of this course of action. I guess it depends on the reason why the doctor was running late. The patient who was kept waiting was an accountant. Blackmarch 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 I was quite amazed to see a newscaster on Fox News today defend the bride! She was just married a month ago and she said she remembers how difficult it was to prepare for the wedding and it took her a year to finally get the preparations nailed down and for the person to not show up after all that preparation she needs to pay back all that effort. I so want to tell that woman - wow, Me Me Me Me Me... you're a Bridezilla! Anyway, she mentioned that the woman that received the bill is a relative to the bride... Here's to years of awkward holidays ahead, punk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 Clearly the bride is out of line. But before you rip (or continue to rip) on her harshly consider the following. The whole wedding event is in many ways an exercise in selfishness. It all about what the bride wants... This can last for months and it is socially acceptable/expected in many ways. People just don't come out of that mindset (assuming they get really sucked in) just because the wedding ended. They have to pull themselves back out (or get pulled). It seems to me that this is an clear example of that in action. This bride is getting very harsh "welcome back to the real world" Blackmarch 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 The whole wedding event is in many ways an exercise in selfishness. It all about what the bride wants... This can last for months and it is socially acceptable/expected in many ways. If you're a Bridezilla, yes. But, that's not what it is supposed to be. If it's supposed to be selfish, there's no need to spring $ for a wedding party. The party attendees should pay the $ to attend the party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted October 1, 2015 Report Share Posted October 1, 2015 If you're a Bridezilla, yes. But, that's not what it is supposed to be. If it's supposed to be selfish, there's no need to spring $ for a wedding party. The party attendees should pay the $ to attend the party. The fact that it has it own stereotype (for all the faults that stereotype have) shows that what should be isn't what always is. In fact this whole thread is a testament to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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