Top Reasons Not To Enter A WalMart

[zil]

1) It's guaranteed to take longer than you thought.

2) You're guaranteed to come out with more than you intended.

3) There's a 7.31% chance you may never make it back out again.

4) Despite the fact that you're sweating by the time you approach the exit, your stay does not count as "exercise".

[Add yours below. Sorry, I took the easy ones.]

[Guest]

You see what people who shop at Walmart wear.

[Guest MormonGator]

Seen on a meme:

Target. Where you spend a bit more to avoid going to Wal Mart. 

[NeedleinA]

Got done with our Ward Christmas party last night. They served light food, so we went home hungry. Stopped by Wal-mart to pick up a pizza, I was still dress in my wise man costume, turban, and eye make up. Oh, Wal-mart fun, I fit right in. 

[Vort]

Because store security has your photograph because of all the stuff you shoplifted last week.

[NightSG]

7 hours ago, NeedleinA said:

Got done with our Ward Christmas party last night. They served light food, so we went home hungry. Stopped by Wal-mart to pick up a pizza, I was still dress in my wise man costume, turban, and eye make up. Oh, Wal-mart fun, I fit right in. 

Blue/yellow tights and tunic.  Actually attracted less attention there than I did at the midnight showing of Rocky Horror.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

20 cash registers but only 3 cashiers, 

[zil]

10 hours ago, Vort said:

Because store security has your photograph because of all the stuff you shoplifted last week.

Vooorrrrt, do we need to call your bishop?   (It's been known for ages that we might oughta call @NightSG's bishop, except he probably already knows....)  

3 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

20 cash registers but only 3 cashiers, 

a) I think they're hoping you'll pick up candy, magazines, and / or weird, brightly colored objects which have no easily identified purpose.

b) By the time yoo get to a cash register, they're pretty sure you're not gonna leave all the stuff in your cart behind, so why expend more money to speed your departure?

c) Given (a) and (b), why pay more for the sort of employee who shows up for their shift?

[NeuroTypical]

Walmart has good things for cheap.  They also have a lot of cheap shoddy things for cheap, but you can learn the difference.

I've seen (and occasionally interacted with) interesting people at WalMart.  Friendly guy wearing a pistol wanting to talk about baseball.  Teens in full costume when it's not Halloween.  

One of the best stories I have to tell happened to me at Walmart:

Quote

WalMart experience a few months ago: Little girl, maybe 5-6, alone and scared. Only I made eye contact with her, so she came towards me, then backed away (probably because, big creepy guy at WalMart).

I got down on one knee, asked her name (it was Ashley), asked if something was wrong (she didn't know where her mommy was), and tried to assure her that we could find her mom and it would be ok. 

Take her to customer service? Not an option - it was right next to the front door. No employees to be seen. I finally got the attention of the first female I saw - young woman maybe in her early 20's, full of piercings and extreme style. "Can you help Ashley?" I said, pointing to the little girl, "She's lost her mommy - do you know where she is?"

After a look of vague annoyance, she took pity. Not sure if pity on Ashley, or pity on the poor creepy guy who was about an inch away from getting in trouble for talking to a little girl at a WalMart. She said "Come on sweetie, let's take you to customer service", and Ashley immediately ran (half to her, half away from me,) grabbed her hand and they walked off. 

I decided to just stand where I was and count silently to 30 and see if I got tazed.  At around 15, I heard panicked mommy yelling for Ashley an aisle over. I headed through the aisles trying to say "we found her" loudly enough for her to hear, but not so loud it caused a scene. She rounded the corner, looked at me, and drew back as if her worst fears were being realized - some big creepy guy at a WalMart knew more about her daughter's whereabouts than she did. I said "We found Ashley - a young lady is taking her to customer service", and pointed. She turned and ran that way, I followed and saw the joyful/tearful reunion. Got to share a look with the pierced girl about how dumb the world is.

I dunno. I try to drum up some outrage about how my gender and body shape made life harder for everyone, but I can't seem to actually get outraged. This is the way the world is. Got bigger things to be outraged over. Ashley's fine, I didn't get maced, my wife didn't have to bail me out of anywhere, everything worked out. Thanks pierced girl!

 

[anatess2]

Walmart.  Where everything is made in China.

Wait... everything everywhere is made in China.

[Palerider]

Walmart ......only store that cost 100 dollars to only get milk.  Lol

[Guest]

25 minutes ago, Palerider said:

Walmart ......only store that cost 100 dollars to only get milk.  Lol

$200 at Costco

[Vort]

2 hours ago, Eowyn said:

$200 at Costco

But you then have a year's supply of milk.

[priesthoodpower]

Walmart....the only store where you should open and check the shoe box before you end up buying a used pair of shoes.

[Guest Godless]

This was my Wal Mart experience the other day. That's an employee driving what appears to be a princessmobile. She passed us three times in three different parts of the store. We finally realized her purpose when our son excitedly pointed and yelled "CAR! CAR!" Nice try, Wal Mart. Nice try.

[Guest MormonGator]

26 minutes ago, Godless said:

This was my Wal Mart experience the other day. That's an employee driving what appears to be a princessmobile. She passed us three times in three different parts of the store. We finally realized her purpose when our son excitedly pointed and yelled "CAR! CAR!" Nice try, Wal Mart. Nice try.

You sure that's not @mirkwood in his princess car? 

[Guest]

 

On 12/10/2016 at 7:42 PM, MormonGator said:

Target. Where you spend a bit more to avoid going to Wal Mart. 

They actually saw a HUGE drop in traffic and stock prices when they made two liberal moves: No concealed carry allowed and men allowed in women's changing rooms and bathrooms.

 

Edited December 15, 2016 by Guest

[Palerider]

On 12/13/2016 at 2:05 PM, MormonGator said:

You sure that's not @mirkwood in his princess car? 

I would so take off in that car and drive around Walmart.    Lol

[OptimisticMarc]

It's like the Philippines in Walmart

[askandanswer]

Because you might end up bumping into Palerider while there. Or even worse, some random gator 

[Palerider]

On 12/17/2016 at 2:12 PM, askandanswer said:

Because you might end up bumping into Palerider while there. Or even worse, some random gator 

I would hate to run over a random Gator.   Lol