Temple marriage for the sole purpose of having sex?

[chasingthewind]

Just recently a female friend of mine told me that one of her brothers got married for the sole purpose of having sex.  What are your thoughts on this?  Personally, I think when someone behaves in such a manner they are showing that they don't really believe in God.  If they really believed in God, they'd believe He knows all of their thoughts, intentions, desires, and motivations.  They'd believe God is the judge of their heart (not just the judge of their actions) and they couldn't get away with denigrating God's holy temple into a place to fulfill their lustful desires.  So this person doesn't really believe in God at all.  They're an atheist at heart all while giving the outward appearance of being a 'faithful member'.  Honestly, if all you're interested in is sex then you'd be better off going to a strip club, finding a prostitute, watching pornography, etc.  Keep filthiness where it belongs instead of bringing it into God's temple.  

 

Edited September 2, 2017 by chasingthewind

[Grunt]

It's not my place to judge the marriage of another.  That's between him, his wife, and God.

[chasingthewind]

19 minutes ago, Grunt said:

It's not my place to judge the marriage of another.  That's between him, his wife, and God.

Would you judge this person if he was out at a strip club?  What if he was with a prostitute?  Or if he was watching pornography?  If so,  why does your judgment suddenly stop when it comes to marriage?

Lust is lust no matter where it rears its head and it should be condemned across the board.

[Grunt]

2 minutes ago, chasingthewind said:

Would you judge this person if he was out at a strip club?  What if he was with a prostitute?  Or if he was watching pornography?  If so,  why does your judgment suddenly stop when it comes to marriage?

Lust is lust no matter where it rears its head and it should be condemned across the board.

I try not to judge anyone for anything.  I have my own sins to deal with.

[chasingthewind]

2 minutes ago, Grunt said:

I try not to judge anyone for anything.  I have my own sins to deal with.

Well, I don't consider 'not judging anyone for anything' to be part of the gospel.  The JST of Matt 7:2 commands us to make righteous judgments and Moroni 7:16 tells us we have been given the Spirit of Christ to judge right from wrong.  

[Grunt]

Just now, chasingthewind said:

Well, I don't consider 'not judging anyone for anything' to be part of the gospel.  The JST of Matt 7:2 commands us to make righteous judgments and Moroni 7:16 tells us we have been given the Spirit of Christ to judge right from wrong.  

That's between you and the Lord.  I'm simply offering my opinion as it applies to me.

[Snigmorder]

There has never been a time when the institution of marriage was for sex. It does not matter, worlds without end, what any man on this earth ever said about marriage. The everlasting God lives in the family unit and He is the Patriarch, He is the Father.

Marriage, the only marriage that has any legal efficacy in the universe, is for the purpose of starting, growing, and raising a family. We call this Eternal Life. Not for sex.

I'm not too worried about your friend's brother. Because a sealing does not substitute for obedience. Those who make a mockery of the covenant have theirs. Hopefully it's not a waste of the wife's time in the end.

[anatess2]

5 minutes ago, chasingthewind said:

Well, I don't consider 'not judging anyone for anything' to be part of the gospel.  The JST of Matt 7:2 commands us to make righteous judgments and Moroni 7:16 tells us we have been given the Spirit of Christ to judge right from wrong.  

Ok, I'll bite.

So, what is your definition of righteous judgment?  What is the purpose of you calling this brother out on a forum as a non-believer?  

The way I see it, if a person doesn't believe in God, he wouldn't go through all the trouble of preparation for a temple marriage.

So there can be some possibilities here:

1.)  You misunderstood what he said.

2.)  He was pulling your leg.

3.)  He is a seriously determined prankster.

None of these require me to have to judge his actions righteously especially since he's not here to defend himself.  Now, if you want to talk about the morality of getting married for sex then that's a discussion I have no problem engaging in.

Edited September 2, 2017 by anatess2

[MrShorty]

Is he still married? Still faithful? Applying to annul the marriage? In my opinion, if he is still married and still faithful, then he is dong better than porn users or those soliciting prostitutes or what have you.

[Vort]

1 hour ago, chasingthewind said:

Just recently a female friend of mine told me that one of her brothers got married for the sole purpose of having sex.  What are your thoughts on this?  Personally, I think when someone behaves in such a manner they are showing that they don't really believe in God. ...  Honestly, if all you're interested in is sex then you'd be better off going to a strip club, finding a prostitute, watching pornography, etc.  Keep filthiness where it belongs instead of bringing it into God's temple.

I could hardly agree less. Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled. Even if your claim about his reasons for marrying is true, your judgment is false. Marrying for sex is not the best reason for marrying, but it is better than extramarital sex. A man (or woman) who marries for the sex may grow into better reasons. In the meantime, let them grow up as they can. Reserve your judgment, especially false and unrighteous judgment as you have shared with us.

[fatima]

1 hour ago, chasingthewind said:

Just recently a female friend of mine told me that one of her brothers got married for the sole purpose of having sex.  What are your thoughts on this?  Personally, I think when someone behaves in such a manner they are showing that they don't really believe in God.  If they really believed in God, they'd believe He knows all of their thoughts, intentions, desires, and motivations.  They'd believe God is the judge of their heart (not just the judge of their actions) and they couldn't get away with denigrating God's holy temple into a place to fulfill their lustful desires.  So this person doesn't really believe in God at all.  They're an atheist at heart all while giving the outward appearance of being a 'faithful member'.  Honestly, if all you're interested in is sex then you'd be better off going to a strip club, finding a prostitute, watching pornography, etc.  Keep filthiness where it belongs instead of bringing it into God's temple.  

 

If this man doesn't believe in God, why do you suppose he is being chaste until his marriage?

[NeuroTypical]

Let's get this straight.

You are telling us, that a friend of yours told you, that a brother of hers told her, why he got married.

And now you're here talking about it.

Do I have that right?

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/tg/gossip

 

[JoCa]

Umm, I really don't have a problem with this.  You do know that it takes two people to get married right?  She had to say yes. And it's says it's okay in the scriptures to do so.

1 Cor. 7:8-9

8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

And one of the primary outcomes of sex is children and continuing the circle of life is essential to this life. Even using birth control they ain't perfect and somewhere 3 times out of 100 you will get pregnant   I don't know that it's the best long-term reason . . .but then again God gave men these desires specifically so they would have the desire to start a family. So no, I don't have a single problem with it.

Now, that changes if the guy is like well I'm going to get married so I can have sex and then when I've had my fill or I'd like to have sex with someone else then I'll just get a divorce-that it very bad and very deceitful.  I think there was a rumor going about of BYU students who went to Vegas to "get married" had a weekend of debauchery, got divorced and then tried to claim they never broke the law of chastity . . .they were ex'd. Simply because they never planned to actually be married.  So if the guy got married then got divorced, yeah big problem.  Otherwise, not a problem 

 

 

Edited September 2, 2017 by JoCa

[chasingthewind]

13 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Let's get this straight.

You are telling us, that a friend of yours told you, that a brother of hers told her, why he got married.

And now you're here talking about it.

Do I have that right?

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/tg/gossip

 

lol!  I didn't really intend for this topic to be about the judgment of any particular person (i.e., my friend's brother).  Rather, the OP was intended to start a discussion about the immorality of marrying only for sex and how such an action stacks up compared to other acts of sexual immorality.  

[chasingthewind]

1 hour ago, MrShorty said:

Is he still married? Still faithful? Applying to annul the marriage? In my opinion, if he is still married and still faithful, then he is dong better than porn users or those soliciting prostitutes or what have you.

Sorry, but I didn't intend to make this thread about a specific person.   I meant for this thread to be specifically focused on the act of marrying for sex and whether it's moral.  

[chasingthewind]

4 hours ago, Vort said:

I could hardly agree less. Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled. Even if your claim about his reasons for marrying is true, your judgment is false. Marrying for sex is not the best reason for marrying, but it is better than extramarital sex. A man (or woman) who marries for the sex may grow into better reasons. In the meantime, let them grow up as they can. Reserve your judgment, especially false and unrighteous judgment as you have shared with us.

Okay, perhaps I was exaggerating a bit towards the end of my OP, lol.  

My judgment may have been 'false' but I don't think it's 'unrighteous'.  It may be 'false' that marrying for sex is just as bad as extramarital sex but it is still 'unrighteous'.  Would you agree?

 

Edited September 3, 2017 by chasingthewind

[chasingthewind]

1 hour ago, anatess2 said:

Ok, I'll bite.

So, what is your definition of righteous judgment?  What is the purpose of you calling this brother out on a forum as a non-believer?  

The way I see it, if a person doesn't believe in God, he wouldn't go through all the trouble of preparation for a temple marriage.

1.  An action is 'righteous' if it is in accordance the the commandments of God and 'unrighteous' if it violates those commandments.  Since Matt. 5:28 commands us to rid ourselves of lustful desires then it is unrighteous for lust to be the prime motivator of a marriage.  

2.  There are a lot of people who are religious just because that's the way they were raised.  They go to church, serve missions, get married, read scriptures, etc. not because they really believe in God but because they're just doing what's expected of them. 

Edited September 2, 2017 by chasingthewind

[Guest]

34 minutes ago, chasingthewind said:

lol!  I didn't really intend for this topic to be about the judgment of any particular person (i.e., my friend's brother).  Rather, the OP was intended to start a discussion about the immorality of marrying only for sex and how such an action stacks up compared to other acts of sexual immorality.  

Immorality.

"You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means."  - Inigo Montoya

[chasingthewind]

1 minute ago, DoctorLemon said:

Immorality.

"You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means."  - Inigo Montoya

Are you saying you don't find it immoral to turn God's temple into a place to fulfill one's lustful desires?

[Guest]

Just now, chasingthewind said:

Are you saying you don't find it immoral to turn God's temple into a place to fulfill one's lustful desires?

In the context of this thread and what your friend's brother's actions are?  Bingo!

[chasingthewind]

Just now, DoctorLemon said:

In the context of this thread and what your friend's brother's actions are?  Bingo!

I find that quite disturbing.  To each his own...

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, chasingthewind said:

I find that quite disturbing.  To each his own...

Look, there are many worse reasons for marrying than sexual attraction, such as marrying for money, marrying for social status, marrying because your parents arranged a marriage.  Yet, many people get married for these reasons and still have successful marriages that get better and better over time.

If a man and a woman marry in the temple because 1) they are sexually attracted to each other and 2) they get along passably well, they have all the ingredients in the world for a happy marriage.  There is nothing "wrong" or "immoral" or "unholy" about marrying for those reasons, as long as the couple truly commits.

I am not sure what you would consider a "valid" reason for marrying, if sexual attraction is not valid.  And no, marrying for sexual attraction does NOT reasonably correlate with someone's belief in God.

[Guest MormonGator]

I've actually had a long conversation about this with a few missionaries. One said that reason so many LDS kids marry young is because they want to get intimate and not "live in sin" or break church rules. I told him, "Getting married just because you want sex is not a good idea. Once the physical attraction wears off-you have to live with the person." He seemed surprised, but a year or so later admitted I was right. Another guy said "I think that's why some LDS couples divorce so young." I said, "It probably is. You get married just to satisfy lust, then you realize that you dislike the other person, there it goes." 

[Grunt]

Do you believe LDS have a higher or lower divorce rate than gen pop?

[Sunday21]

The statistic often cited for lds temple marriage is 6%

http://www.mormonnewsroom.ca/article/temple-marriage