Is there official church standing on soul mates?

[JayKi]

I watch a video on youtube and is by 3 mormons is was suggested for me and in the video they suggest that there is no soulmate. That you can be happy with anyone as long as both live the gospel. 

 I think is 8:30 - 11 or maybe before. Sorry I cant summarise what is they say accurately. I dont know is because I get married soon and I am romantic I feel that God did select my fiancee for me. I dont think is true we met in pre-mortal life but I believe God led me to her. Even I think there is maybe lot of women I could marry and be happy to live with, I would feel I miss something. Are the 3 Mormon wrong? Or I is wrong?

[Fether]

There are no soulmates https://www.lds.org/new-era/2013/11/to-the-point/is-there-such-a-thing-as-soul-mates?lang=eng

My wife's Mom said that we were a “match made in heaven”. I immediately called her out and said she was wrong xD

[JayKi]

1 hour ago, Fether said:

There are no soulmates https://www.lds.org/new-era/2013/11/to-the-point/is-there-such-a-thing-as-soul-mates?lang=eng

My wife's Mom said that we were a “match made in heaven”. I immediately called her out and said she was wrong xD

I don't want to believe that  

[Guest MormonGator]

4 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I don't want to believe that  

Don't believe it. My wife is my soul mate and my match made in Heaven, so yes, there are soul mates. My best friend is also married to his soul mate so that's another couple.  

[Just_A_Guy]

I don’t know that what the OP describes is the typical definition of “soul mates”.  Of course (from God’s standpoint) the identity of our future spouse is known all along, so from His perspective there is a “one and only” even though from our (pre-marital) perspective there are plenty of fish in the sea.  And of course my marrying bachelorette #1 will permanently deprive me from some unique experiences I would have had only with bachelorette #2–and vice-versa.  And of course our personalities will naturally be more compatible with some people than others, irrespective of Gospel commitment.  (Kimball says that it can work regardless of temperament; not that it will be easy.)

What I think the article @Fether cites is really responding to, is the not-insubstantial number of LDS young adults who become paralyzed by indecision due to the fear of marrying someone who may turn out not to be their “soul mate” and, as a result, don’t marry anyone.  I saw my sister spend a good five years in this state, and unnecessarily cause herself and several decent guys a lot of pain because of it.

Edited May 23, 2018 by Just_A_Guy

[SilentOne]

Depends on how you define soul mate. If it is the one person who you can be happy with forever, then no. But I do know at least three couples in real life where at least one received a clear witness early on, not like something they would have thought themselves, that they should marry a certain person. If they had disregarded that impression or if the other person completely rejected them, however, I'm sure they could have found somebody else and everything would work out eventually.

And I thought the Spencer W. Kimball quote was saying that almost any righteous pairing could make it work.

[Fether]

37 minutes ago, JayKi said:

I don't want to believe that  

My wife had become my soul mate  we are very much in love and I would never switch her for anyone else.

But it would be wrong to believe that if I hadn’t married her, I would not have married my soul mate.

[Fether]

@JayKi

elder Uchtdorf put it best.

“Now this may be a disappointment for some of you, but I don’t believe there is only one right person for you. I think I fell in love with my wife, Harriet, from the first moment I saw her. Nevertheless, had she decided to marry someone else, I believe I would have met and fallen in love with someone else. I am eternally grateful that this didn’t happen, but I don’t believe she was my one chance at happiness in this life, nor was I hers”

[estradling75]

The Hollywoodised Soulmates is a form of Predestination.  And the Church rejects Predestination. (AKA God has a plan and nothing we do matters).  The predestination form of Soulmates if believed can cause all kinds of heartache and sorrow as people break covenants, vows, and promises all in their effort to be with "The One."  It can also cause the reverse, a person to do nothing, expecting their Soulmates to simple show up and have everything work out.

The Church does believe in Fore Ordination (aka God has a plan and everything we do matters).  This means we need to work for it, to do our best to follow God.  Sometime we will stumble and fail.  This is planned for.  Even if it looks to our eyes that the plan has somehow derailed. (for example if our "Soul Mate" marries another)  We can have faith that we are still on plan it is just going in a direction we did not expect.  Thus both our Faith and Agency are respected and God's plan (which can include spouses) continues on. 

[Lost Boy]

It really depends on what you mean by soul mate.

Do I believe that heaven created a woman just for me?  No, not at all.  I think there are millions of women out there that I could be madly in love with.

If you just mean a person that you find a deep connection with?  Yes.  Some women are more compatible than others.  

My wife believes in something called a Twin Flame.  Kind of like a soul mate.  I absolutely don't believe in Twin Flames.  I think this a teaching of Satan.  If you asked my wife, she believes me to be her soul mate, but probably not her Twin Flame.  She says she doesn't like the guy who she thinks is her twin flame.  

To me it is all non-sense.   I think soul mate is a stupid term.

Celestial Companion is a better term.  I think we choose our celestial companion and develop that relationship throughout our marriage.

I think if you view someone as a soul mate, you will think that there is some kind of magic love that will keep you together.   Absolutely not.  Don't view your future wife as a soul mate.  View her as someone who you will always work for and do all you can to love.  This is your key to a wonderful marriage.  If you think of her as a soul mate, you probably won't put the effort into the marriage that is required and you will soon find yourself unhappy.

So please drop the soul mate terminology.  it does you no good.

[unixknight]

26 minutes ago, estradling75 said:

The Hollywoodised Soulmates is a form of Predestination.  And the Church rejects Predestination. (AKA God has a plan and nothing we do matters).  The predestination form of Soulmates if believed can cause all kinds of heartache and sorrow as people break covenants, vows, and promises all in their effort to be with "The One."  It can also cause the reverse, a person to do nothing, expecting their Soulmates to simple show up and have everything work out.

Indeed, this is the danger of putting too much focus on finding The One, and why that's not Church doctrine.

That said, I do believe there's some room for the idea That some of us may have known our mate on the preexistence , and either planned/hoped/asked to find each other on Earth.  When I first laid eyes on my wife, I felt a sense of recognition, as did she.

So if that's what is meant by 'soulmate,' then I think it's possible, but not necessarily applicable for everyone and certainly not a matter of doctrine.

 

[Lost Boy]

1 hour ago, unixknight said:

Indeed, this is the danger of putting too much focus on finding The One, and why that's not Church doctrine.

That said, I do believe there's some room for the idea That some of us may have known our mate on the preexistence , and either planned/hoped/asked to find each other on Earth.  When I first laid eyes on my wife, I felt a sense of recognition, as did she.

So if that's what is meant by 'soulmate,' then I think it's possible, but not necessarily applicable for everyone and certainly not a matter of doctrine.

 

I wonder about that.  Consider this.  There are worlds without end.  There are billions of people past and present on the Earth.  What are the chance of us running into someone we knew in the pre-existence?  If our coming here is random, then the chance is essentially zero.  If it is planned, then possibly.  I don't know how that mechanism works.  

[NeuroTypical]

This guy nails it completely:

 

[unixknight]

1 hour ago, Lost Boy said:

I wonder about that.  Consider this.  There are worlds without end.  There are billions of people past and present on the Earth.  What are the chance of us running into someone we knew in the pre-existence?  If our coming here is random, then the chance is essentially zero.  If it is planned, then possibly.  I don't know how that mechanism works.  

I suppose all we can do is speculate and kick it around until we find out for sure.

[JayKi]

16 hours ago, MormonGator said:

Don't believe it. My wife is my soul mate and my match made in Heaven, so yes, there are soul mates. My best friend is also married to his soul mate so that's another couple.  

so you don't believe if your wife never met you, you would marry another woman and be as happy?

[Vort]

Just now, JayKi said:

so you don't believe if your wife never met you, you would marry another woman and be as happy?

Pure speculation. But FWIW (which is nothing), my speculation is that, no, I would not be as happily married to "another woman" as I am to my wife. I'm no huge proponent of the "soul mates" doctrine as any sort of general principle, but I know my own life and experiences. Mine is about as much a "soul mate" experience as one can reasonably get, I think.

[Guest MormonGator]

6 minutes ago, JayKi said:

so you don't believe if your wife never met you, you would marry another woman and be as happy?

Yes. I didn't want to get married in the first place until I met her. If my wife did pass away (God forbid) I wouldn't re marry. It wouldn't be fair to the other woman because she'd be compared to someone she couldn't live up to. 

Edited May 23, 2018 by MormonGator

[mordorbund]

20 hours ago, Fether said:

My wife's Mom said that we were a “match made in heaven”. I immediately called her out and said she was wrong xD

Good for you! Your mother-in-law was way out of line hitting on you like that.

[Fether]

1 hour ago, mordorbund said:

Good for you! Your mother-in-law was way out of line hitting on you like that.

She also later compared my atheist brother inlaw’s daily meditation to a patriarchal blessing xD called her out on that too haha