AbramM Posted March 24, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2019 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Alia said: Abram how old are you? Although, regardless of your age you can meet someone else who shares your beliefs. I am 20. It is hard to find women who follow the Lord closely though. 9 minutes ago, Alia said: It isn't small differences in beliefs, my older brother is a minister at a baptist church and whilst we are still close, it isn't the same as when we were both baptists. The 2 faiths are not completely reconcilable so if that is what you are looking for, I recommend you leave your girlfriend. That's so cool that your brother is a minister. Yes it seems the likely option unless she is willing to change. I love her of course I do but that can't solve everything. Edited March 24, 2019 by AbramM Alia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manners Matter Posted March 24, 2019 Report Share Posted March 24, 2019 17 minutes ago, AbramM said: Yes it seems the likely option unless she is willing to change. I love her of course I do but that can't solve everything. The fact that you're not willing to change for her says a lot. Maybe that's something to ponder... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted March 24, 2019 Report Share Posted March 24, 2019 10 minutes ago, Manners Matter said: The fact that you're not willing to change for her says a lot. Maybe that's something to ponder... Indeed the only power he has is over himself..Depending/requiring other people to change so we can be happy is a recipe for life long heartache.. And requiring someone to do something that you are not willing to do yourself is hypocrisy Manners Matter 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted March 24, 2019 Report Share Posted March 24, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, AbramM said: @prisonchaplain was saying that despite the differences in Protestant denominations we will see each other IN glory. In other words we still expect to be with each other in heaven and then we will all worship the Lord together. He wasnt referring to seeing each other's glory now on earth, although we do that too to an extent. I think we are having a miscommunication here. What you are saying here is such "no duh" I didn't even think that it needed to be stated. I fully except to see lots of different folks whom were lots of Christian faiths in this life (Protestant, LDS, Catholics, Orthodox, etc) in Heaven and worship with them. 1 hour ago, AbramM said: I don't know Ma'am. I'm not trying churches on a whim I research their beliefs. I wouldn't go to a non protestant church or beliefs I find heretical. I know it probably hasn't come across in the thread but I am fully committed to my faith. It's hard to explain it but I have a walking faith with the Lord that if founded in Protestant theology. Abram, what parts about faith in Christ do you find to be the most important? Or rather, second most important (since we already talked about faith in Christ and the atonement). Edited March 24, 2019 by Jane_Doe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 9 hours ago, Manners Matter said: The fact that you're not willing to change for her says a lot. No more than her unwillingness to change for him. It's a two way street. Maureen 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 9 hours ago, Manners Matter said: The fact that you're not willing to change for her says a lot. Maybe that's something to ponder... I am the only one willing to find a new church. It is a big sacrifice for me to leave the Southern Baptist church I attend, I love it there but I am willing to find a new church we can attend together. NightSG and prisonchaplain 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 9 hours ago, estradling75 said: And requiring someone to do something that you are not willing to do yourself is hypocrisy I have tried lots of new churches trying to compromise so we can get married. I'm not a hypocrite NightSG and prisonchaplain 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 9 hours ago, Jane_Doe said: Abram, what parts about faith in Christ do you find to be the most important? Or rather, second most important (since we already talked about faith in Christ and the atonement). I believe that Jesus was God incarnate this is as important as faith in Christ's atonement. I know now that you don't believe that. I feel kind of uncomfortable talking about what I believe on a forum for people with LDS beliefs. I feel kind of rude but I wasn't expecting this to happen when I originally posted. I apologise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 38 minutes ago, NightSG said: No more than her unwillingness to change for him. It's a two way street. She is kind of less willing to change than me, because I am willing to go to other churches to see if we like them but she never joins me. She tells me she is willing to change church so she can marry me but her actions don't show me that, so it is a huge mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midwest LDS Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, AbramM said: She is kind of less willing to change than me, because I am willing to go to other churches to see if we like them but she never joins me. She tells me she is willing to change church so she can marry me but her actions don't show me that, so it is a huge mess. I've been following this thread for some time and while you and I disagree on several important issues, there is one thing where I am 100% on your side. You want to marry a woman of a similiar faith to your own. While interfaith marriages can work, as @Jane_Doe and others demonstrate, it can also lead to a lot of stress and unhappiness in marriage which I have also seen. Especially when kids come along. I know that for myself, I wanted to be married in a Holy Temple of God for eternity. I wanted a wife who would strengthen me when I had moments of doubt and help raise our children in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A wife of another faith, or one who converted solely because I insisted that it was a requirement to marry me, would never have given me those things. I don't pretend to know your girlfriend, but from what you've said about her it seems as if her faith is at least somewhat important to her. That being the case I think you have three options 1. Marry her and accept that she will always be a Latter-day Saint and that she will want to teach your kids about her faith at some point. 2. Insist that she convert for your sake, which she may do if she loves you, and accept the fact that she will be unhappy and may grow resentful of you for doing that. 3. Realize that this is a dealbreaker for you and move on. Honestly my friend I believe your best options are 1 or 3. You need to decide if you can handle her belief in a church you disagree with or not. And, honestly, I think it's ok if the answer is not. After all, that was the same criteria I used when I was looking for a wife. Edited March 25, 2019 by Midwest LDS Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mores Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 (edited) 15 hours ago, AbramM said: @Mores It is an option I suppose but I don't want to change my faith. Would you really be changing your faith? You may not really know much about what we believe to be able to make that assessment. Yes, we have different ideas of doctrine, etc. But so has pretty much EVERY individual Christian I've ever had in depth conversations with. Every single one of them had different ideas of doctrine on dozens of points that were pretty important. Even if it is a change, you're asking her to do so. Why is it ok for you to do that and not her? Even if she says she's "open" to it, I can guarantee that a part of her would prefer to stay here (based on what little you've said here). Edited March 25, 2019 by Mores Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manners Matter Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 3 hours ago, AbramM said: I am the only one willing to find a new church. It is a big sacrifice for me to leave the Southern Baptist church I attend, I love it there but I am willing to find a new church we can attend together. I'm glad you love the church you currently attend. My comment was because you have stated that you just want another Protestant church and those beliefs taught to your kids. There's a difference between changing a location and changing fundamentals. By-the-way, it would be a big sacrifice for her, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 4 hours ago, AbramM said: I have tried lots of new churches trying to compromise so we can get married. I'm not a hypocrite And we have repeatably explained how you are not asking her to her to "try a new church" (even though that is how you view it). You are asking her to abandon God. Why come here asking for advice if you are not going to listen? If you were listening to what we were telling you would know that asking her to "leave her church" is asking her to leave God(as she very likely views it). If you are unwilling to leave God for her... you have no right to ask her to leave God for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 hour ago, Midwest LDS said: I've been following this thread for some time and while you and I disagree on several important issues, there is one thing where I am 100% on your side. You want to marry a woman of a similiar faith to your own. While interfaith marriages can work, as @Jane_Doe and others demonstrate, it can also lead to a lot of stress and unhappiness in marriage which I have also seen. Especially when kids come along. I know that for myself, I wanted to be married in a Holy Temple of God for eternity. I wanted a wife who would strengthen me when I had moments of doubt and help raise our children in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. A wife of another faith, or one who converted solely because I insisted that it was a requirement to marry me, would never have given me those things. I don't pretend to know your girlfriend, but from what you've said about her it seems as if her faith is at least somewhat important to her. That being the case I think you have three options 1. Marry her and accept that she will always be a Latter-day Saint and that she will want to teach your kids about her faith at some point. 2. Insist that she convert for your sake, which she may do if she loves you, and accept the fact that she will be unhappy and may grow resentful of you for doing that. 3. Realize that this is a dealbreaker for you and move on. Honestly my friend I believe your best options are 1 or 3. You need to decide if you can handle her belief in a church you disagree with or not. And, honestly, I think it's ok if the answer is not. After all, that was the same criteria I used when I was looking for a wife. Yes I'm not going to marry her unless she decides to follow Protestant beliefs. I'm not going to make her convert because it won't last, the Lord will either change her heart or He won't. She knows that I'm not going to marry her unless we have a church together. Regardless, sometimes it is necessary to make sacrifices for the Lord so if the Lord requires me to leave her then I will do that. Abraham was willing to kill his only son for the Lord so I'm willing to leave my girlfriend. prisonchaplain 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 hour ago, estradling75 said: And we have repeatably explained how you are not asking her to her to "try a new church" (even though that is how you view it). You are asking her to abandon God I find it offensive that you think I'm asking her to leave God. I don't know if your view of the Protestant faith is completely wrong or if your view of God is completely wrong but for sure you're wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 minute ago, AbramM said: I find it offensive that you think I'm asking her to leave God. I don't know if your view of the Protestant faith is completely wrong or if your view of God is completely wrong but for sure you're wrong. You are not listening... You do not think you are because you have a limited understanding of the LDS faith (We are Not Protestant). In this case we are more in common with Catholics then Protestants. And any good Catholic would tell you that when you leave the church you are leaving God's church for something less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 3 minutes ago, AbramM said: I find it offensive that you think I'm asking her to leave God. I don't know if your view of the Protestant faith is completely wrong or if your view of God is completely wrong but for sure you're wrong. Abram, if the Lord convicts a person that this is His Truth and His Church, then person should follow Him. It is obvious discipleship. For someone to ask a person to do otherwise (as you are doing) is asking them to not follow God. unixknight 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 (edited) 6 hours ago, AbramM said: I believe that Jesus was God incarnate this is as important as faith in Christ's atonement. I know now that you don't believe that. I feel kind of uncomfortable talking about what I believe on a forum for people with LDS beliefs. I feel kind of rude but I wasn't expecting this to happen when I originally posted. I apologise. My purpose in asking was to 1) better understand what you believe, and 2) help you maybe understand standard LDS Christian beliefs. I know your situation is tough and intimating, so I was trying to be helpful, as somebody who is bi-lingual, so to speak. If you wanted to chat via Private Message (PM) or email or not at all, those are all ok too. I'd also be totally willing to talk to your girl. Edited March 25, 2019 by Jane_Doe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 hour ago, estradling75 said: You are not listening... You do not think you are because you have a limited understanding of the LDS faith (We are Not Protestant). In this case we are more in common with Catholics then Protestants. And any good Catholic would tell you that when you leave the church you are leaving God's church for something less. Look if you think me asking my girlfriend to come to a protestant church with me is asking her to leave God then you think protestants don't know God. That's fine I know that I know God but if she thinks that I dont then why woulf she want to marry me anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 5 minutes ago, AbramM said: Look if you think me asking my girlfriend to come to a protestant church with me is asking her to leave God then you think protestants don't know God. That's fine I know that I know God but if she thinks that I dont then why woulf she want to marry me anyway. You really are not listening to a word we are saying... so I see no point in trying to continue to help you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 hour ago, AbramM said: Yes I'm not going to marry her unless she decides to follow Protestant beliefs. I'm not going to make her convert because it won't last, the Lord will either change her heart or He won't. She knows that I'm not going to marry her unless we have a church together. Regardless, sometimes it is necessary to make sacrifices for the Lord so if the Lord requires me to leave her then I will do that. Abraham was willing to kill his only son for the Lord so I'm willing to leave my girlfriend. I'm totally down with the notion that if one of you won't convert to the other's church and system of beliefs, then you don't get married. So, AbramM, do you have a deadline set? If she ain't converted by [this date], you'll break up with her and go seek a more theologically compatible woman to date? If she were here, I'd be asking her the same question... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 19 minutes ago, estradling75 said: You really are not listening to a word we are saying... so I see no point in trying to continue to help you You believe that my girlfriend is with God now because she attends LDS church you believe she would be leaving God if she went to a protestant church. So clearly you believe that I don't know God. You can't have it both ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 1 minute ago, AbramM said: You believe that my girlfriend is with God now because she attends LDS church you believe she would be leaving God if she went to a protestant church. So clearly you believe that I don't know God. You can't have it both ways. The part you are missing is that she made Covenants (or we assume she did - we can't really speak for her here). The journey to Christ is not jumping over a wall - first you are not with Christ, then you jump over a wall and then you are with Christ. That's not how it works. The journey is one step - sometimes a baby step, sometimes a leap - CLOSER to Christ... or you make a baby step or sometimes a leap FARTHER from Christ. Making a Covenant is a step closer to Christ. Fulfilling the Covenants is another step closer to Christ. Turning your back from the Covenants you made is a step farther from Christ. But - that only applies to your situation if she made Covenants or believes in Covenants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbramM Posted March 25, 2019 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 10 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said: I'm totally down with the notion that if one of you won't convert to the other's church and system of beliefs, then you don't get married. So, AbramM, do you have a deadline set? If she ain't converted by [this date], you'll break up with her and go seek a more theologically compatible woman to date? If she were here, I'd be asking her the same question... I'm praying about it. If she doesn't start coming with me to churches by the end of April then I will break up with her. If we find a church then we have to attend there for 1 whole year. Then after that I will marry her. I'm not going to just go and seek women if I break up with my girlfriend. I will need to heal for a while. Then I will start praying for God's guidance before I start trying to find a wife again, so to prevent another situation like I have now. prisonchaplain 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted March 25, 2019 Report Share Posted March 25, 2019 (edited) 16 minutes ago, AbramM said: You believe that my girlfriend is with God now because she attends LDS church you believe she would be leaving God if she went to a protestant church. So clearly you believe that I don't know God. You can't have it both ways. We're not saying that you don't know God. To help clarify what we ARE saying, I'm going to explain a hypothetical situation to explain things: 1) God convicts you, Abram, from the bottom of your soul that a believers baptism is His ways and the Truth. Infant baptism is not His way. 2) You were then to attend a church that preached & practiced infant baptism 3) Said church (including your spouse) heavily encouraged you to likewise practice infant baptism. 4) Due to this pressure, you then go have your infant daughter baptized, despite being convicted by God that this is not His way. Do you see the problem here? How by performing such an act you would be turning your back on God and going agains the Truths He convicted you of? Edited March 25, 2019 by Jane_Doe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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