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It's absolutely overdiagnosed. I think to some degree we are in a time where disorders may be some variation of "cool". I definitely believe in circumstances that are so extreme they cause real issues and need to be treated, but people are also trying to categorize every little thing. My concern is that we're so scattered on how to approach not just ADHD but attention in general that we are at a loss for that elusive best way to learn. A common sadness among teachers is that we can't really do much that is more active because kids have no traditionally-learned limits, so all the time is spent practicing limits and boundaries. "I would love for you to run around. Can you do it without destroying something or hitting someone?" That's a surprising amount of steps and skills to get to that point.

If she's food insecure, then that's a much more immediate concern to her than a drivers license. People who live like that often struggle to plan past their next meal. They live in fight/flight mode 24/7 and it's exhausting. The best thing you could do for her is try to get her linked up with a social worker if she doesn't already have one. Might be difficult without ID, but that's where I'd start. Social workers exist to help people who struggle to help themselves.

I was introduced to ADHD in 6th grade. Here's the story... When I was a child I had a problem reading. As young as I was, I was unable to verbalize the nature of my problem. And the only advice I was given was "keep reading more and it will become easier for you." That didn't work. It only made things worse. And again, I couldn't describe why. By 6th grade my teacher called for a parent-teacher meeting about me. I got high marks on everything else. I could read any sentence. I could write well. I got highest marks on spelling. But I simply couldn't read through a book. And all I knew was that it took too long. In that same class, a new student moved into the district. He and I had the same first name which caught my attention. But for the purposes of this post, I'll call him "Joe". Because of him, I was first introduced to the term "ADHD". And apparently, it was bad enough that he required medication. For Joe, I'd absolutely agree. Even with medication, he was a wild child who sometimes got words mixed up in common sentences because his brain was so chaotic that it was difficult for him to not jumble words. My first question was "why does ADD have to include hyperactivity?" No one had an answer that satisfied me other than "they are usually related." I really didn't understand that. Later, I realized it was because my ADD was not a clinical condition. It was just the way my brain worked. As I got more acquainted with Joe, I realized that I had ADD, but I was not hyperactive. So, apparently, I had something else going on. I played a lot during recess and lunch hour. And my body got a workout. My brain worked a lot faster than my body. This led to insomnia. My brain was going long after my body was tired. So, it was difficult for me to fall asleep. Looking back, I now understand what was really happening. I've spoken of the cross-referencing brain I have. That was my greatest strength and weakness. Any time I read a word, my brain would immediately connect that same word with many other instances where I'd either read or heard that same word. This made reading an entire paragraph a spider web of cogitation. Scriptures were actually easier to read because the verses forced a break in my thought processes to interrupt the connections in my brain. That's why my parents never knew I had a reading problem. I was perfectly capable of reading scriptures. And that was what we read together. So, for them to hear from my teacher that I was failing in my reading was a surprise. If medication were as common as it is today, I would have had a very different brain development. And I would have had a very different life. I'd probably be on welfare.

The "disorder" part of ADD or ADHD may be a disorder, or may just be a way of existing. It seems like there are a bazillion of us with ADD/ADHD who are out just living our best lives the best we can, just like everyone else, but with some different coping mechanisms and learned habits and methods to make life work. The diagnoses themselves are probably waaaay over diagnosed with our youth, especially boys. "Sit still and pay attention" is a nice skill for a boy to develop, but it's often not the best way to learn.

I hear you. Is this because of lack of knowledge/understanding? Or is it because she is intellectually challenged? If she simply doesn't know how, you go one route. If she's intellectually challenged, take another route. To clarify: When I say "intellectually challenged" she may not fit the clinical definition of "retarded" (IQ below 75). But if she's on the lower end of normal (80-85) she simply may not have learned a lot of what you and I take for granted. So, the first thing is to try to educate her (with a lot of patience). But if she's always been this way, then one problem you'll have is that she's told herself "I just can't..." Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. So, you'll have that to work through. And it will not be easy. A lifetime of programming has told her "I can't." You're not going to deprogram that overnight. Something similar to this has happened to the young lady that my wife and I have been helping. She basically needs to be walked through the process. We think it's easy to just print out a form. But she doesn't have a printer. We think it is easy to just look up a govt. bldg. on Google. But she can't spell. Sometimes she can't remember words like "vital records." And she may not quite understand the directions that Google gives from her GPS. We take all these things for granted. But if she's never been taught... Every person needs to make a judgment call about how much we can help, and when we have reached the limit. At some point, when we've really done what we can to help out, we need to make a call. And each call is situation specific. There is no rule. It's just judgment. And the limit for you will be different than it is for other. Put your own mask on first, then help the next person. Ponder and pray for guidance. Then understand your proper priorities. ALSO: If you think that all social links have been exhausted, it may be time to bring government into it as @Phoenix_person said. While I'd always encourage that as a last resort only, it may be that this situation is appropriate for government safety nets. But beware of one thing, the number of people who are able to ween themselves off of it, while a significant number, is still pretty low. The fact that she may never get off of it is a reason to try to avoid it. But if it is the last resort...

You're not wrong. I bet there's more confusion and misdiagnosis than people care to realize. I have friends in the ADHD/autism crowd, and they say if it's "cured" by changing foods, getting ears checked, etc, it probably wasn't ADHD or autism. A mild example, but hopefully the picture is coming across. Random story: I have a student this year in online school who was quite exasperating. Without diagnosing, I'd bet five bucks she has ADHD or autism or something. She spent half the year interrupting and lately seems to color and play with markers instead of listening to me. Despite the exasperation, I soon found her quite endearing. The other day she attempts to lead a lesson, one that is fairly routine, and I had spent the year assuming she had completely tuned or spaced out this entire thing. She did an awesome job.

There may be a little bit of compassion fatigue here mixed with an attempt to say, see, there's a problem. But I had an experience today that makes me wonderful just how to help this person. I know there are far worse examples. A couple of my buy nothing/local needs/free stuff groups have the same individual in them. Let's call her Betty. For several years now, Betty pops up a few times a month to beg for this and that. She seems to be in and out of housing and jobs, and apparently loses her SNAP and WIC every time she gets a job. Early on, people accused Betty of being some sort of scammer, but the reality of reports seems to be that she is just entirely helpless, not even clever enough to turn these into scams. For the past year in particular, she has been unable to access many a local bit of help due to having her driver's license stolen. She can't replace it because her family apparently won't help her. So a couple of weeks ago, I challenged her to talk to the vital records office about getting a free copy of her birth certificate (which she can get because she is currently homeless. She says it's too hard and the family member who is living at a hotel with her doesn't know how to help. So... I actually offer to meet her at the vital records office or, if she can't figure out how to get there, lead her in a conference call with someone there to walk her through the steps. She agrees. Today is to be the day. She says she doesn't feel well enough to make a call. She then posts this evening in two groups how she is desperate for food. Like, I don't know how to help this woman. She can't be bothered to help herself. I now feel quite un-Christlike after typing this, but it makes me wonder what we as mortals can do to help people like this. Is this just a fate of a fallen world?

That's pretty messed up. I just figured that the advice was a mortal advice from a mortal doctor. And I treated it as such. Sometimes they're right. Sometimes they're wrong. Most of the time their advice is more educated than a layperson. But it doesn't make it gospel. I believed that Pres Nelson made the announcement because (as far as I heard) there were far too many Saints who were claiming a religious exemption, when it had nothing to do with our religion. The big concern I had was about the myocarditis and pericarditis. People raised the question, and no one seemed to be answering. They just blew it off without explanation. Just denial, denial, denial. That's what got me worried. I never claimed that I was sure the jab was causing it. But I was concerned that no one was addressing it. Now, after all the panic and hoopla is over... after Pfizer made their billions already and don't push it anymore... we find two interesting pieces of information. Normally, we see incidence of myocarditis in about 10 per 100,000. And it normally affects young men (regardless of health). But during the height of the jab, we saw this jump to 20 per 100,000. And it still predominantly affected young men. So, what are we to determine from this? The rate jumped by about 100%. But it is still an extremely small percentage of the population. Based on that data, I don't really know either way. Since a standard (that I've seen, anyway) is that if a drug/medication/etc. causes a mortality rate of 1/1,000 it is of concern. Sometimes 1/10,000 is enough to actually investigate further. If it is at a rate of 1/100, then they don't recommend the medication. And over 2% is automatically pulled off the market. Well, by that standard, it looks like the jab was on the borderline of being safe or not. And it is largely a matter of opinion. AFAIK, this information was available during the pandemic. Why didn't they just share this with us? I'd bet it would shut up a lot of conspiracy theorists. I just wanted to know the facts. But All I heard was that "you're too ignorant to understand that we're doing what is good for you." Yeah, that bugged me.

Well, to be honest, I still haven't realized any of that jargle, even after looking seriously for something to substantiate it for years. I mean, the vaccines were far less effective than we hoped (and the government pushed). And it's now becoming more accepted that 'vaccine' isn't an accurate description of it - it's better thought of as a 'therapeutic'. But far less safe? What's your data for that? The thing has gone into literally billions of arms. Every nation on earth has a health service or ministry or center of some sort - you'd think it would be easy to find. The negative impacts are indeed 'told', but the last I checked, it was a similar rate to any other sort of related therapeutic. I mean, you can't find it in the December '24 House report, full of Republicans more than willing to pin dirt like that to Biden. It claimed "The COVID-19 Vaccine, While Largely Safe and Effective, Had Adverse Events That Must be Throughoughly Investigated" It's chart, when compared with the billions of doses given, is pretty weak sauce: With 5.6 billion doses given worldwide, 10,000 deaths means the vaccine is safer than driving a car. You've got a better chance of being hit by lightning, twice, than having a serious negative covid vax event. Especially considering that any lying agenda driven yayhoo was able to submit an entry to VAERS on the topic.

It’s fascinating and sad. Fascinating because the shoe is on the other foot. The right essentially said “shut and listen! I doubt your faith! Obedience! Obedience! Obedience! ” to liberals squirming over gay marriage and abortion. Now liberals said “shut up and listen” in 2021 and of course, all we got from conservatives was excuses, how it’s different this time, etc. Sad for obvious reasons.

Nutrition is a fascinating thing. I am a little wary of those who claim it is everything. I've made no secret of my distaste for anti-vaxxers and Big Natural Health, who I find to be for the most part grifters.

There's still a lot modern medicine doesn't know about autism, but what they do know is that it's comorbid with a *lot* of other mental, emotional, and physical health conditions. There are indeed anecdotal reports that people with autism / ADHD have had their tells & whatnot *eased* by dietary changes, suggesting that the dietary changes actually eased a comorbid health situation that was further bogging them down mentally & emotionally. It's like in my case, I've noticed that if I don't have at least one good serving of meat protein a day my body doesn't quite feel right and my energy levels wane. Protein shakes don't do the job, and in fact one time I tried to use protein shakes as a substitute for what I was eating on the run I had to stop because after a while I started having odd cravings for baked beans. I could never go vegetarian, let alone vegan, for any length of time. This is telling me "something is causing my body to burn through a higher than normal amount of protein as well as other nutrients that meat protein has in far larger quantities than supplements alone can compensate for", which is likely being caused by an as-yet undetermined physical or lifestyle situation. It could be that this increased protein intake requirement is somehow tied to a comorbid health issue, or it could just be that it's a fluke I'm dealing with both at once.

There are mentally ill people, and there are scammers. There are lazy people, and there are low-iq people without the brain power to understand. There are entitled people and folks with PTSD who are struggling with being abused by people they should have been able to trust. Here's the thing - we often can't tell who is who by just looking at them or even working with them. The line from that hymn nailed it: Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see. Scripture is pretty clear on things too: So we're left with a good reasonable basis for not judging, a scriptural commandment to not judge, and a very reasonable question about what help looks like and what it doesn't look like. - Giving someone help who could do it themselves isn't help, it's enabling their laziness. That's not charity, that's not love, that's not respecting someone's agency, that's being a sucker. - Giving someone help who can't do it themselves is help, is charity, and we're commanded to do it, and if we don't and get all judgey about it we're going to hell. It can be impossible to tell which sort of person we're dealing with. So we take our best guess, do our best, and try to live with the consequences. I'm pretty sure that while @Phoenix_person and his folks' hearts are in the right place, subsidizing single motherhood with taxpayer dollars is the most harmful thing white folk have done to the black community since slavery. Paying people to keep fathers out of the home is evil, and has ruined lives and increased all the bad things these programs seek to prevent. That said, each of us will personally be judged by how we've treated the lost and the least of us, and if we screw it up it'll have eternal consequences. So do your best and make up your mind and pray for guidance to do the right thing.

There are a couple of things I'm aware of that cause people to ignore the concept of "savings." 1. I think that this behavior comes from overemphasis on "living in the now." The young lady we're helping out does that to the detriment of planning for the future. We learn from the past. We hope and plan for the future. We live in the now. I'm afraid that people see point #3 and forget #1 & #2. 2. Often times, poor people normally don't have money left over at the end of the paycheck. So, they get stuck in this mentality of "I must spend every dollar I have." So, even if they do have $10 at the end of the month. They spend it by habit, rather than trying to save. 3. Some people have simply lost hope. Without hope, there is no reason to save for the future. Today is all they have and can't even imagine a future.

I don't believe any aspect of Backroads is curmudgeonly. That's for old men like me. It seems you've taken sincere measures to help someone who is operating at below optimal conditions. And she is swatting away your hand of charity.

There is also the possibility she just wants to be catered to and people have been giving her what she wants with little or no effort on her part. That is common among the homeless crowd.

This article can be summarized into the following categories: 1. Baseless accusations. 2. Conspiracy theories. 3. Misattributed motives to perfectly common and/or legal and appropriate actions. Try comparing that list of supposed "retaliatory acts" to what has happened in the past for former administration personnel. You'll find very little variation from precedent. It just isn't discussed much. But in the hands of the liberal media, any common thing that Trump does is immediately conjoined with ulterior motives. Who said anything about "broken"? It's just a reality. When the majority of the Democratic party believes it is acceptable to use violence to achieve political ends, why wouldn't he believe it? When Pritzker gives an address calling for mass protests and mass disruption, what do you think that 55% of Democrats are going to do with that? Sure, it will be "mostly peaceful" like all the BLM protests have been in the past. And, of course, no one will damage property like Tesla has been seeing for the past several months. And, obviously, no one will perform violence, like Luigi Mangione while being cheered on by his adoring fans. Given the very public track record of just how "peaceful" Democrats have been for the past 15 years, forgive me if I'm not as nonchalant about how these protests are going to turn out. No, Trump is at the stage that he is old enough to have lived a full life mostly in the spot light. Sure, he's hopeful that he will survive, to die peacefully in his sleep. But he knows how many want him dead. And he wants to give a gift to humanity before he bows out at his final curtain call. *********** EDIT: About the 2028 Merch. That's just political theater. And you're falling right into his trap. His goal is to get his opponents so worked up that they can't think straight. They get angry enough that they trip over themselves clinging to any conspiracy theory and running it through the news until it is debunked the next day. Thus pretty much anything the left says is immediately disregarded as the fake news that it is. If they would just stop for a moment and consider that he is not in fact Hitler, they would realize how much of it is just wishful thinking. Then you might actually focus on Trump's REAL weaknesses. You might actually win.

Amen to that. AuH2o, Reagan and Buckley (all great men) would be appalled by Trump.

The answer to this question is yes -- yes, this scripture does help us more further understand that without faith it is impossible to please God, and that we will not be able to claim ignorance and still be saved. I often think of agnostics and atheists when reading these verses. An agnostic, after death, will ultimately claim ignorance after death, "If I had 'known' (temporal evidence) I would have believed." And will expect to be saved without pleasing God through faith. Once they realize they outsmarted themselves they then will experience the gnashing of teeth. I also find this verse interesting because it ultimately deals with the after life, and not our mortal life. There have been many of our brothers and sisters who have perished without knowing who Jesus Christ is, thus salvation was never declared unto them. Ultimately, they are ignorant, and upon these the Lord's mercy is extended (Mosiah 15:24). In their mortal life they were ignorant, but the gospel will be preached unto them in the spirit world -- so ultimately -- no man/woman is saved in ignorance.

I didn't serve a mission, I will admit I was unworthy at the time, and chose a marriage over a mission. Recent come follow me material has had me pondering. D&6 36 to me reads like, if you are a man, who is ordained to the priesthood, you must "go forth to preach the gospel" (most easily achieved through serving a mission.) Despite shirking a mission once, I still intend to serve 2 missions, a service mission when I've settled into a long term career and I'm not doing extra training/degrees. I will probably be able to do this in my late 30s. And an away from home senior mission when I retire. There is still time for me to fulfil this requirement and I intend to. As for judgement for not serving a mission, nobody would dare say anything directly to me now that I'm creating babies for our dying ward.

"True to the Faith That Our Parents Have Cherished" - Elder Hans T. Boom, Saturday Afternoon Session With the footnote to President Nelson's April 2022 talk, "Preaching the Gospel of Peace": FWIW

There are two ways to serve the Lord. The first way is what the scriptures call using our Agency to do good. This is us using our mind and will to try to bring to bring to past much righteousness. The Lord commands this and we spend much of our life in this state. This is good. It is us using our Initiative our Agency which God approves of. But it has a big limit. It is limited by our ability to foresee to predict the best way. Using the terminology of this thread this is the Non-Black Tag service, and it is literally were we will spend most our lives in our efforts of serving God. The second form of service is putting yourself on the altar. This includes all your strengths and abilities but also all your flaws, weakness, and hindrances, trusting that the Lord knows exactly what you really need and can do. This is something God want/expects/asks from all of us. Both forms are from a "Desire to Serve" but this last one is harder and requires, greater faith, because we do not get to control it. That is scary. Trusting the Lord's wisdom especially when manifested through his flawed servants is hard. Using the terminology of this thread we can call this "Black Tag" service although Black Tags are not always used. Not surprisingly those that the Lord has called to help people grow and develop spiritually are going to push hard in their own flawed way to get everyone to do "Black Tag" type service when the opportunity is there. That is literally what they are called to do. Can they mess this up? Of course they can. But their flaws do not make it wrong. The idea of helping people at a young age come to trust and know God is golden... We just screw it up a lot. The problem we get is when people doom say when someone misses a chance. We all miss chances and make mistakes, that is literally what the atonement is for. A young man who for whatever reason does not serve at 19 will not be the same person at 30 or 40 or 50. (Same can be said for those that do serve) And if you are dealing with a young person who does not go... We are not dealing with an apostate in the making (our actions can push them that way though) we are dealing with someone who is having a Faith struggle because missions are hard leaps of Faith and not everyone is ready for that at older ages much less younger age. And don't get me started on those serving for wrong reasons. (Because if you are not doing a mission out of a desire to serve the Lord you are doing it wrong, but even then you might end up getting there so it is hard to tell)

Another issue is that there's considerable overlap in the behaviors demonstrated by both "kid with ADD/ADHD" and "kid who is legitimately bored because they either already know the material or the teaching style is not one they respond best to". Individuals who are high-functioning autistic might also have tics or issues getting along socially that can be mistaken for ADD / ADHD (et al) even when they don't have it. It takes time, effort, observation, and a skilled professional to diagnose which is which. The problem is that modern society tends more towards "any kid who doesn't sit neatly and quietly is inherently defective" and so the first instinct is to punish and medicate rather than evaluate.

I am sorry for the pain you are going through. I do not have any direct experience with a spouse breaking trust... Just more generic events when someone breaks the trust I have extended to them. So my advice will be around that. First piece of advice is that you can not control another person. We all know this logically but when our feeling are hurt when our emotions run high we can be seriously tempted to say this is the way it must be... that just tends to make everything worse. Instead you need to focus on what you can control... and that is you. So what can you do... Well I am going to mention the hardest thing first. The Lord commands all of us to forgive. This is not optional. This is going to be very very hard... and it could take a very long time, and you will probably fail at it a lot as you try. This is normal and expected but it does not release you from trying. You do not get to wait to do this until she repents or shows remorse. This part of what makes it so very hard. Of course a lot of us have some distorted ideas of what forgiveness means. But here it is in an nutshell. We do not get to declare someone else's sins. You are asking if your wife violated the Law of Chasity. That is not our call, its not your call, it is the Lord's call. Its between him and her you do not have a voice in that. Related to this is that you do not get to set the punishment for her sins either. That is also just between her and the Lord. It is natural to feel that you are some how entitled to... Or that you need to see her "punished," that is so normal and natural. Which is why the Lord pushes us so hard on forgiving. He wants us to hand all that over to him and trust that he knows what he is doing. However forgiveness does not require us to trust someone we have found to be untrustworthy, nor does it require us to stay in or return to harms way. The question you can ask yourself and act upon is "Can you trust her?" While you can't control her behavior, and you can not judge her sins, you can and should make a judgement call on your safety and the trustworthiness when interacting with her and act accordingly. Again I am so sorry for your pain and suffering... Hopefully this helps with some direction.

One of my favorite LDS mom group horror stories was a lady who claimed she had received revelation that she was on a higher spiritual plane than the prophet and that's why she didn't vaccinate her kids (any vaccines) and knew the prophet would one day be punished for allowing vaccines.

My old neighbor would always tell them that he doesn't follow his own religion what makes them think he would ever follow theirs. It made me laugh. My dog hated them. She liked everyone. The hair on her back stood straight up and she tried to get at them from between my legs. She was so ready to eat them. It made me not answer the door when they came back.

Same. For a brief time the church took more punches from the right than the left.

@Carborendum Much in your post fits the situation. There is evidence to suggest she does have an intellect problem, which can't be easy. She has a job, but can't get it together to keep money on hand. I know a few people have tried to involve a social worker, but nothing comes of it. It's just frustrating and sad.

Sadly, people have tried that. She has no interest in a social worker. She refuses to work with anyone.