garryw

24 is young. Basically she can have kids another 11 years without elevated risks. If you're not worried about elevated risks she has another 20 years to give birth. You on the other hand can reproduce at any age, so your clock is not ticking. You will always have a choice, she wont. Even if its another marriage, according to the laws of nature, you can always have kids. You have a win-win situation. You get what you want, just decide what it is you really want.

When I went to my bishop to get a clearance he volunteered his mom's story to me. After his bio-dad died she got a cancellation. It took her 14 years of trying before it was granted. Anyway that was his story.

All 50 states are no-fault. I tried to use my ex's extramarital activities in court to get more custody because she exposed the children to them (she didn't try to hide anything). Didn't help with me custody, or prevent her from raking in alimony. no fault means no fault apparently. hope for the best but expect (and prepare for!) the worst.

Anybody who wants more than one wife is a complete fool. Ignorance is bliss I suppose. If you knew more you would fear polygamy like the plague. I am financially responsible for 2 women. One though alimony. The other through marriage. I would give my right arm to stop being a financial polygamist. I suppose you have to provide for two women before it sinks in that it's no picnic.

They will be adults, so imagine some 30 year old person with divorced parents on earth. Neither parent has "custody" because the person is an adult. So it's absurd to ask "who gets the child?" or something along those lines. In summary it will work how it works on earth. Ask an adult with divorced parents how it works and that's your answer. I think the more useful way to look at sealing is from the point of view of inheritance. If your parents have money, and die, will your inheritance change based on their marital status? Mathematically speaking, you should inherit the same amount either way.

As far as women go, the reverse it true. He married wives without being sealed. After his death they were sealed to him by proxy in the Nauvoo temple. The men sealed to him were "adopted" by him. So it was like being sealed to your parents. Not a spousal relationship.

The women married to Joseph Smith were most often sealed to him by proxy after his death. They most often married had children after his death. So the implication is that his marriages did in fact raise seed, born in the covenant. As to why we can't find progeny? His marriages were secret. Often his wives were already married when they married him and they remained living with their husbands. In other words many of his wives had 2 husbands. Obviously that puts a damper on things when your wife is married to and living with another man.

I interpret that to mean she remarried the same guy, or had a child BIC.

Sounds like she financially got a free ride for 14 years and now is a bit selfish the free ride is over. I've been laid off twice, but never unemployed for more than a week (yes thankful for that good fortune, always humbling to get laid off). My suggestion is that it's not "your fault" but rather this is a lesson/test for your wife. And she's not passing it. Maybe I'm a little biased because my ex is sitting in her mom's basement collecting $2000/mo alimony (and that again in child support) without any concept of how selfish she is. I often fanticise of dying in a car crash so for once in her entire life she has to take some form of responsibility for herself. How else can she ever get it into her head that everything is not free?

well said. I have and aunt that divorced after 20+ years and now her position is "I have no idea what I was thinking" and "maybe he will take me back in the next life" That is most likely where you will end up emotionally. But on the other hand, perhaps the grass is greener on the other side and life will be all bliss for you.

my name is not really garry so this is anonymous. Having said that, my ex wife's P.B. says she will be blessed to be sealed to the man she knew and loved in the pre-existance. When I was set apart as a full time missionary my stake president said "because of this service you will meet your wife in a special way". Well, one of my mission companions met me after the mission and set me up on a blind date with my ex wife. So that's all a bit spooky, but I see it more as a spooky story than something to take seriously. I'm recently remarried and have done paperwork to get a clearance. Whatever destiny we had, it's gone and over now. Free agency > destiny. If we ever had a destiny, her agency trumped it.

It's not unlikely. It's impossible. What is possible that a righteous daughter of God would slip up and not be so righteous one day. Who is to say that David who slew Goliath was not a righteous son of God? I think he was. For a while. People change.

wow this is silly. If anything we owe our parents. Not the other way around. I think there is a good chance I won't have to financially support my parents when they get super old. That in itself is a good enough inheritance for me.

Considering this is an LDS forum I think it's common for all 3 of those criteria to be met. 1. At the time of engagement it's common for both spouses to be in college or recently graduated. 2. At the time of engagement it's common for both to have no children (thanks to the law of chastity) and both to have some entry level job (due to being young and/or students) 3. At the time of engagement it's common for both to have little or no significant assets due to being young. So for a majority of LDS couples getting engaged, all 3 criteria are met. In fact they would apply to 99% of the BYU student body. So you criteria are pretty reasonable.

150 years ago he could have taken a 2nd wife to have kids (like Abraham). Not today. This seems serious, glad it's not me in his shoes.

If you live in the United states then you should know that 70% of divorces are initiated by women. So you can only reduce your chances by 30%. I do like your attitude though. +1 Also be advised that you cannot prevent divorce with revelation. More than one president of the LDS church has been divorced. I'm not saying that as a negative thing. The point is Heavenly Father is more than willing to let people screw up. That's the plan we chose.

I know 99% of LDS don't believe that statement, but I am in the 1%. A prenup wont save you from divorce, but it will give you a better shot at justice. People change. Lucifer was an angel of light. Now he is the father of lies. That's a pretty dramatic change. The person you marry today has total agency to do anything and everything. To say a person cant change is to deny the concept of agency.

Yes the church encourages young people to get married as fast as possible. But I really don't see that as the root of the problem, although I agree it's silly. When you see "temple" marriages fail after 10, 20, 30 years it's hard to argue that the couple was too young. They made it through youth and into middle age. Often with several children. And it's easy to talk about finding the one for eternity. It's easy to sit back and advise men to pay alimony without getting caught up with the fact it's supporting her life with her boyfriend. In practice it's ethically wrong. morally wrong, and basically legalized theft. I am still convinced that every young man should have a prenup as long as all 50 states are now "no-fault". Marriage is basically a contract where women have free license to do anything and everything, then cash in on it without even the court considering the circumstances. Horrible horrible contract, at least for the guy.

1. of course the prenup should cover both parties. Absolutely. 2. I have no problem with lawyers, or marriage to them.

I respectfully disagree. A woman that leaves her husband for another man should not be entitled to alimony period. If she needs alimony, perhaps her boyfriend should consider her "worthy" and "entitled" and give her money. I sure don't. I feel zero moral obligation to pay alimony under these circumstances. Child support is a different topic altogether, it's not related to prenups or alimony. My ex is pregnant with her boyfriend and probably would have married him by now if not for her alimony (remarriage ends alimony). So her new child will be raised in a broken home precisely due to alimony. So in conclusion alimony is detrimental to children, and families in general.

The odds were stacked against him for sure. On the other hand the divorce rate was much much lower in the 1800's than it is today so he had an advantage there. And on a practical level each of his wives could not extract half his income from him in the form of alimony. He could argue in court they only get 1/37th each. That's not so bad as in the case of monogamy.

From my experience the "getting to know better" thing isn't really a factor. I have an uncle who was married over 20 years with 5 children when his wife divorced him and married her boyfriend 6 days after the divorce was final. This is a "church going" family with all the trimmings. All the advice and counseling in the world cannot predict a person's choices 20+ years down the road. Brigham Young was a prophet and he had multiple divorces. You just can't predict these things. If it were possible, I'm sure he wouldn't have had a divorce.

My son is 12 but when he is ready to marry I will recommend a prenup to him. It will not cover any assets of course, young guys typically have nothing of much value. But I found out the hard way that alimony is a stickler and there is nothing you can do about it. All 50 states are no-fault which means alimony is based on income, not anything else. Consider it as a sort of final judgment where the well employed go to outer darkness and the less employed go to celestial kingdom regardless of how they lived their lives. Not exactly just. Of course I doubt he will listen, nobody does until it's their turn in divorce court. But I would have appreciated it if my father had taught me something about alimony before I got married.

I have experience with this, my wife got pregnant with another guy and we are now divorced. So I suggest you think about what you want to do with your life pretty seriously then act on it. Beyond the spiritual damage there are practical consequences too.

I'm not saying what you should do, but if I were you I would not tolerate anything. In my case it only prolonged the inevitable to sit around hoping she would change. And the lies never end, they just produce new ones.