Lame Jokes, the Sequel

[Guest]

22 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

Uhm... that wasn't funny.

It wasn't meant to be.  I just made an observation.  Well... two.

Edited December 8, 2016 by Guest

[anatess2]

5 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

It wasn't meant to be.  I just made an observation.  Well... two.

That's still not funny.  It's not even lame funny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Vort]

5 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

That's still not funny.  It's not even lame funny.

HA!

[Guest]

43 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

That's still not funny.  It's not even lame funny.

[zil]

31 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Dude, the thread is for lame jokes.  You're making commentary, not jokes.  Anatess is making like you're trying to tell lame jokes and failing.

[Vort]

2 minutes ago, zil said:

Dude, the thread is for lame jokes.  You're making commentary, not jokes.  Anatess is making like you're trying to tell lame jokes and failing.

I have to admit, it's even funnier when you explain it.

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, zil said:

Dude, the thread is for lame jokes.  You're making commentary, not jokes.  Anatess is making like you're trying to tell lame jokes and failing.

Consider it a threadjack... that didn't take off.

[Jamie123]

On ‎07‎/‎12‎/‎2016 at 8:01 PM, NeuroTypical said:

Are lame fake lyrics allowed here?

That's unBEARable!

[Guest]

So, a man was swallowed by a whale and escaped by running all the way to the end.  He finally got pooped out.

[zil]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

So, a man was swallowed by a whale and escaped by running all the way to the end.  He finally got pooped out.

That was awful.  For him and me.

[Sunday21]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

So, a man was swallowed by a whale and escaped by running all the way to the end.  He finally got pooped out.

On the poop deck!

[Guest]

1 hour ago, zil said:

That was awful.  For him and me.

Hey you start making comments about my observations on the periodic table, and this is what you get.

[Guest]

For Christmas:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer died tonight while flying over Barcelona as he was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747.  While a collision between all three bodies occurred, eyewitnesses reported that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

Edited December 17, 2016 by Guest

[zil]

What did one ear say to the other ear?  "Hey, I think we live on the same block."

What did one big toe say to the other big toe?  "Hey, I think there's a couple of heels following us."

[Vort]

5 hours ago, Carborendum said:

For Christmas:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer died tonight while flying over Barcelona as he was hit by a flock of seagulls and a 747.  While a collision between all three bodies occurred, eyewitnesses reported that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

When I am driving along with the kids and I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I think a cute thing to say is, "Looks like Santa got tired of Blitzen's crap."

[askandanswer]

I'm running short on lame jokes so you'll just have to put up with this one liner:

QE2

[askandanswer]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea (no eye deer)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea

Edited December 17, 2016 by askandanswer

[NeuroTypical]

Wise words, overheard at NT's house:

"If you're illuminati, I'm illumi-nice."

"Daddy, no!"

[Jamie123]

After church yesterday I was presented with a trifle which was left over from the children's Christmas party.

It looked something like this:

I took it to my wife who said "You know how long that trifle has been open in the refrigerator?"

(She tends to know these things: she is on the Parochial Church Council and usually helps out with most kids' activities.)

I said, "So you're a trifle reluctant to eat it?"

She told me to shut up. Naturally I didn't.

About 20 trifle-related puns later my wife and daughter were both hopping mad, so I asked: "Do I detect that you're getting a trifle annoyed?"

My family were now preparing to murder me.

So I asked them "Don't you think you're overreacting a trifle?"

***

What a trifling thing it was to argue about!

[Vort]

That is awesome, Jamie.

tri·fle

[ˈtrīfəl]

NOUN

1. a thing of little value or importance:

   "we needn't trouble the headmaster over such trifles"

   synonyms: unimportant thing · trivial thing · triviality · 

   [more]

    
2. BRITISH

   a cold dessert of sponge cake and fruit covered with layers of custard, jelly, and cream.

[anatess2]

1 hour ago, Vort said:

That is awesome, Jamie.

tri·fle

[ˈtrīfəl]

 

NOUN

1. a thing of little value or importance:

   "we needn't trouble the headmaster over such trifles"

   synonyms: unimportant thing · trivial thing · triviality · 

   [more]

    
2. BRITISH

   a cold dessert of sponge cake and fruit covered with layers of custard, jelly, and cream.

Somebody who eats a trifle with a trifle is not to be trifled with.

 

[Jamie123]

15 hours ago, Vort said:

That is awesome, Jamie.

Oh, it was a mere trifle :)

[anatess2]

12 hours ago, Jamie123 said:

Oh, it was a mere trifle

You did it.  You won the lame joke award.  Hands down.

[CV75]

A skeleton walks into a tavern and says, "Barkeep, I'll have a beer. And a mop."

[Faapefuoe]

On December 7, 2016 at 8:49 AM, zil said:

Did you know that in the Nauvoo temple they were originally considering using angels in the baptistery instead of oxen?

 

 

 

They decided to go with a sans seraph font.

I read somewhere that they almost went with an elefont.

 

I think that would have been fontastic.