I am leaving my job, not sure what it means for the future

[Backroads]

Hello folks. Prepare for a rant. Prepare for awful, possibly non-pc and even legitimately controversial things. I'm not posting this is Advice because I am feeling the happiest I have felt in months.

4 years ago, I went to work full-time. Yes, as a working mom. I went to teach in a charter school. I enjoyed my job. I enjoyed spending time with my family.

Last year, I found myself tiring. Not of my trade but of the school. I put out my feelers for other positions. I was even offered a part-time position because part-time seemed very good. I ultimately chose to stay where I was.

Worst decision ever. I recently told the school I would not be returning next year. And no, I don't have another job lined up.

This year, I have been assaulted multiple times by students. I am at over 50% special issues. My school, being a charter, has attracted enough of a certain population that it has hired three people to work specifically with behavior issues with the plans of creating a behavior unit. I have students who cry if someone looks at them the wrong way but have no qualms about going full-on sailor language while beating up another student. My school has introduced a behavior program that we are expected to follow, chose not to train us,  and punishes teachers if a kid does wrong. The SPED aide for my grade is afraid of my room.

I have been a nervous wreck for months. I have self-harmed and felt something akin to suicidal.

I have felt such happiness knowing I will be leaving. My husband supports me and even wonders if I can just make up the income just teaching online so I can be home with our kids.

Perhaps I'm a bad teacher thinking about kids so poorly, but I am so sick of parents dumping all social educational on schools. I am so sick of special education inclusion ultimately meaning "put all IEP responsibility on the general ed teacher so we can save money and look good".

I may have put my family into financial trouble, but I don't care. I feel great. This might be what needs to happen.

[Jane_Doe]

YEAH for @Backroads!!!!   Way to know yourself, taking care of yourself, getting yourself in a good place, and hence better taking care of your family!  You're a strong woman.  

[Guest MormonGator]

I admire you for knowing when to walk away. That takes serious strength. 

[Sunday21]

Dear @Backroads. So sorry that you went through this! You really cannot stay and be assaulted! Sometimes, you need to leave even when you do not know your destination. Good for you!  

[Grunt]

42 minutes ago, Backroads said:

Hello folks. Prepare for a rant. Prepare for awful, possibly non-pc and even legitimately controversial things. I'm not posting this is Advice because I am feeling the happiest I have felt in months.

4 years ago, I went to work full-time. Yes, as a working mom. I went to teach in a charter school. I enjoyed my job. I enjoyed spending time with my family.

Last year, I found myself tiring. Not of my trade but of the school. I put out my feelers for other positions. I was even offered a part-time position because part-time seemed very good. I ultimately chose to stay where I was.

Worst decision ever. I recently told the school I would not be returning next year. And no, I don't have another job lined up.

This year, I have been assaulted multiple times by students. I am at over 50% special issues. My school, being a charter, has attracted enough of a certain population that it has hired three people to work specifically with behavior issues with the plans of creating a behavior unit. I have students who cry if someone looks at them the wrong way but have no qualms about going full-on sailor language while beating up another student. My school has introduced a behavior program that we are expected to follow, chose not to train us,  and punishes teachers if a kid does wrong. The SPED aide for my grade is afraid of my room.

I have been a nervous wreck for months. I have self-harmed and felt something akin to suicidal.

I have felt such happiness knowing I will be leaving. My husband supports me and even wonders if I can just make up the income just teaching online so I can be home with our kids.

Perhaps I'm a bad teacher thinking about kids so poorly, but I am so sick of parents dumping all social educational on schools. I am so sick of special education inclusion ultimately meaning "put all IEP responsibility on the general ed teacher so we can save money and look good".

I may have put my family into financial trouble, but I don't care. I feel great. This might be what needs to happen.

That is AWESOME!  If you have a desire, you will find work.  As for your parental assessment, you're right on the money.  I was just having a third-hour hallway discussion today about the decline of our culture having at its root the parents unwillingness to teach their children.

[Midwest LDS]

I completely understand @Backroads. I also recently left a History teaching job at a charter school after being assaulted by a student. Mine was an inner city school, which led to a very high preponderance of horribly behaved students. Each class period I had over 30 kids and in most of those periods I had over 10 students each who were, quite frankly, horrible jerks and made teaching impossible due to their disruption, disrespect, and threats to my safety. I never got through a lesson without constant discipline problems and it was awful. I don't blame you in the slightest. I know how you feel. I got to the point where I hoped I would get in an accident on the way to work so I wouldn't have to go in. Good for you for getting out of that situation! No matter what your income was, life was not meant to be lived in misery. I work in an online school now, work from home 3 days a week, and am happy again despite making less. God bless you as you find a new path for yourself.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I am so sorry, Backroads!  That sounds awful.  I join everyone else in saying good decision.  Years ago, I worked with abused kids.  They were kids that has such severe issues that you wouldn't want them in your home....property destruction was just one of the issues.  They would also hit staff and we had to restrain them.   I'll never forget the first time I heard a child of about 7 cuss me like a sailor.  It was seriously disturbing to hear such words come out of a child's mouth.  All those kids went to public school.  I felt so sorry for the teachers!   That is really not fair to do that to them.  I have no idea what the answer is, but I don't blame you for getting out.  

I have heard some people really enjoy teaching English on line.   Some of the programs require a Bachelor's degree (which obviously you have), some don't.  That might be a good stay at home job.  

[anatess2]

21 hours ago, Backroads said:

I have been a nervous wreck for months. I have self-harmed and felt something akin to suicidal.

BACKROADS!  You needed to quit months ago!  

I am happy that you were able to find the courage to save yourself and let go.  We can't save everyone especially if we are having a hard time saving ourselves.  I'm thinking you might still need to speak to a professional even after the decision to quit - just to make sure there's no lingering self-flagellation buried deep especially when you look back at your decision and might feel guilt for leaving your students.

I always look at having a tight budget 2 ways - 1.) I can figure out how to increase earnings or 2.) I can figure out how to decrease spending.  Both of those require work (it takes work to increase earnings, it takes work to decrease spending).  It might be beneficial for you to just take a break from option one and see what you can do with option two.  Look at your expenses and find ways to replace it with work to reduce it or eliminate it.  For example:  Planting a garden, raising backyard chickens, mending clothes, shoes, and backpacks instead of buying new ones, etc.  Just a thought.

 

Edited March 26, 2018 by anatess2

[Guest]

On 3/25/2018 at 3:07 PM, Backroads said:

I may have put my family into financial trouble, but I don't care. I feel great. This might be what needs to happen.

Quote

Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

 

[Misty]

What an awful situation, I think you did the right thing, so congratulations!  Teaching online is becoming a huge thing in my country, a lot of families are using this option for their children, it might be a great opportunity for you.  Everything happens for a reason, the reason for this will show itself, and when it does you will understand why if was best for you and yours that you left.  Onward to better things!

Edited March 26, 2018 by Misty

[Still_Small_Voice]

I left a toxic, stressful work environment nearly a year ago.  Right now I am doing much better than if I would have remained at my old place of employment and I am happy.  My income is now about ten percent higher and my new job is much better.

Heavenly Father will help you BackRoads.  Pray to Him for peace and healing continually.  Seek whatever help you need in your healing process.  The Atonement of Christ not only cleanses sin it heals pain, anguish and heartache.

[mrmarklin]

Thank you Backroads for your post. This is why I send my grandchildren to private schools. 

No serious behavioral problems allowed. 

[Lost Boy]

Sounds like an awful situation.

There is no excuse for unruly kids.  If they are special needs kids, they should have teachers specifically trained to deal with them and appropriate class sizes.  If they are not special needs kids and just untrained, then they need some tough love.

I read a bit about the Finnish educational system.  In elementary school they keep their class sizes small and they keep the same teacher for a number of years.  This allows the teachers to really get to know each student and really work on shaping the behavior of the students.  I think a system like that would do wonders for the inner cities.  Imagine actually educating the badness out of the inner cities..

[Backroads]

Updating this: found new job. Loving it. It's technically a longer commute, but goes opposite rush hour traffic as I zip up the freeway or the old highway. All the other teachers in my ward hate me for it. Hours are significantly better, classes are smaller, the That Kid has nothing on what I have dealt with (though is the superintendent's grandson/legal ward so that's interesting), and I feel the school has an actual plan

 It's nice feeling happy at work.