Problems with church

[LDSGator]

There are places even in Florida where I think it’s a shaky idea. People never really grasp how rural we are down here. 

[Grunt]

I could never own an EV.  It just wouldn't work logistically.

[Vort]

47 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

This reminds me of the joke that Philip was trying to tell Matthew (The Chosen).

Two things about this:

• Even though we eat corn as a vegetable, it is botanically a grain or a fruit (depending on what part you're talking about).
• They didn't have the corn we're used to (maize) in the Old World.  "Corn" was just a generic word for grain that could be ground into flour.  But a vegetable?

Meh.  It's a TV show.

It's unlikely you could translate a pun across languages, especially across vastly different languages separated by millennia. If you want to provide some simple humor in a pun, you really have to just do it in the language used and hope the audience will understand that the point is not the linguistic operation of the pun, but just the idea that someone's joking around with a friend.

I do remember one quite good pun in a movie I saw many years ago. (I had thought it was the 1980s movie The Last Emperor, but ChatGPT suggests it was the 1998 film The Emperor and the Assassin. I don't think that's right, because I'm pretty sure I saw it before 1998, and I know I saw The Last Emperor but don't remember ever having seen a movie called The Emperor and the Assassin. In any case...) In the movie, the Chinese emperor had died or been killed or something, and his generals decided to replace him with a look-alike peasant so that they could continue pursuing their objectives. In their planning, they realize that the peasant has no horsemanship skills, and they needed to keep the secret from the stablehands. One general suggested that they tell the stablehands that the royal physician had said that "the emperor must not ride". They then turned to the more delicate and problematic difficulty of keeping the ruse from the emperor's concubines. After pondering the problem, a general looked up and the others and said, "The royal physician has said that the emperor must not ride!" The humor was a bit bawdy, but I remember even at the time thinking how clever it was to find a pun that would span centuries in completely different languages.

[prisonchaplain]

1 hour ago, LDSGator said:

Lol. I actually DO drive a Prius and I absolutely love it. 

I thought I was saving the earth by switching from my Chevy Impala to a 2013 Rav4 (16 -> 25 MPG). 😉

[Vort]

BTW, Google's AI "Bard" says that it was the 1962 movie The King and the Concubine. From the description of the movie, I think Bard got it right.

[prisonchaplain]

1 hour ago, Vort said:

A Prius is a hybrid, right? I could use that right about now. In the People's Democratic Republic of Washington, we're paying just under $5 per gallon for the tank filler.

I was told that a used Toyota Rav4 Hybrid is $44K. I paid $13K for my non-hybrid and felt like I was being an earth-friendly super hero. 

[Ironhold]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

This reminds me of the joke that Philip was trying to tell Matthew (The Chosen).

Two things about this:

• Even though we eat corn as a vegetable, it is botanically a grain or a fruit (depending on what part you're talking about).
• They didn't have the corn we're used to (maize) in the Old World.  "Corn" was just a generic word for grain that could be ground into flour.  But a vegetable?

Meh.  It's a TV show.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cornmeal

The native inhabitants of Central America learned to dry and grind corn, with the resulting product being used in making a type of flatbread. Old World settlers would adapt this ground corn - known as corn meal - into bread products. 

[Ironhold]

35 minutes ago, Vort said:

It's unlikely you could translate a pun across languages, especially across vastly different languages separated by millennia. If you want to provide some simple humor in a pun, you really have to just do it in the language used and hope the audience will understand that the point is not the linguistic operation of the pun, but just the idea that someone's joking around with a friend.

I do remember one quite good pun in a movie I saw many years ago. (I had thought it was the 1980s movie The Last Emperor, but ChatGPT suggests it was the 1998 film The Emperor and the Assassin. I don't think that's right, because I'm pretty sure I saw it before 1998, and I know I saw The Last Emperor but don't remember ever having seen a movie called The Emperor and the Assassin. In any case...) In the movie, the Chinese emperor had died or been killed or something, and his generals decided to replace him with a look-alike peasant so that they could continue pursuing their objectives. In their planning, they realize that the peasant has no horsemanship skills, and they needed to keep the secret from the stablehands. One general suggested that they tell the stablehands that the royal physician had said that "the emperor must not ride". They then turned to the more delicate and problematic difficulty of keeping the ruse from the emperor's concubines. After pondering the problem, a general looked up and the others and said, "The royal physician has said that the emperor must not ride!" The humor was a bit bawdy, but I remember even at the time thinking how clever it was to find a pun that would span centuries in completely different languages.

Many Japanese works translated into English feature translator's notes, and in the 1990s & 2000s these could be quite lengthy as the translator explained at length why they did what they did. 

[Carborendum]

14 hours ago, Vort said:

It's unlikely you could translate a pun across languages...

French Jokes

After an explosion at a French cheese factory… All that was left was De Brie.

I asked a French man if he played video games...  He said, “Wii!”

What would you call the Eiffel Tower if it falls over?  ...The I Fell Tower!

What did the baguette say when it was being sliced? ... Ouch! Le pain!

Don’t eat the French fish...  It’s poissan.

Why do the French only serve one egg in their omelets? ... Because one egg is un oeuf.

A wealthy Frenchman was showing off his yachts. “This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is quatre, this is six…” “What happened to five?” his wife asked. “Cinq” he answered.

To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through its heart...  Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.

What do you get when you cross a potato with a hand grenade?  Bomb de terre.

 

Spanish jokes: 

Why is the fish the laziest animal on earth?  What does it do all day?  Nada.

How does Superman fly over a crowd? ...  Con supermisoooo.

How do you make a bread talk?  ...  You put it in water and ya está blando.  (OK, it doesn't have an English component.  But it's pretty funny).

 

[zil2]

2 hours ago, Carborendum said:

To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through its heart...  Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.

This was my favorite.

[Traveler]

4 hours ago, Carborendum said:

French Jokes

.....

What do you call it in France when a someone blows up a kitchen?   Linoleum blown apart.

 

The Traveler

[SilentOne]

For Spanish, what about the one about the dad who asks his son what he's drinking?

"Soy milk."

"Hola, milk. I'm Dad."

[prisonchaplain]

Gen Z to Boomer: I have some concerns about the church.

Boomer to Gen Z: Really? Let me tell you some French/Spanish jokes.

 That's all you have to say?

I think this thread has  

[LDSGator]

4 minutes ago, prisonchaplain said:

Gen Z to Boomer: I have some concerns about the church.

Boomer to Gen Z: Really? Let me tell you some French/Spanish jokes.

Lol! 
 

On a more serious note, if someone has concerns about a church and you say this to them, you basically opened the door for them to leave! 

[Backroads]

On 10/30/2023 at 5:09 AM, Jamie123 said:

Social conventions have changed.

There was a time when, if you took a young lady out, you were expected to open the car door for her.

Nowadays you're expected to have sex with her on the second date.

At least that's the impression I get from the TV shows I've watched over the last 10 or 20 years. Is it true? Or is it just a myth of the media?

P.S. and the church isn't "The Church" anymore. It's that building with the funny windows which you have nothing to do with except when you want to get married or have your baby baptised - unless of course you're one of those religious loonies who goes there every week, like me, or like Sheldon's mum, and even she (since she's a "goody" in the show) needs to get cold-shouldered out of the place by the "the Christian hypocrytes" ("the baddies") coz her son got a girl pregnant and isn't going to marry her.

I legitimately think there is, at least in some social circles, an expectation to have sex early in the courtship. I even heard someone say that a girl not interested in sex on Date 1 was a red flag. 

That being said, I think there is a positive with the more recent cycles of sexual expression where this idea of early sex is being pushed back upon if a person doesn't want it. 

I kind of laughed at your anectdote about what the local "Church" has become. When I was working for the Scouts back in the day, our office was located on a hill off the main highway, and the Catholics decided to build this gorgeous-and-huge church across the street from us. Now that is perfectly visible from the highway, and it looks like a church! Stained glass windows, a steeple, a cross, what more do you want? 

So when I was on the phone trying to explain to someone where we were located, I was surprised to find that saying "and when you see the big church, turn" just confused people (and no, saying the actual name of the street didn't work, either).

Now, it's probably because this was in Utah, and this church didn't look like the local ward chapel. But I feel something has been lost in the cultural/community definition of church.

Edited November 2, 2023 by Backroads

[Backroads]

On 10/31/2023 at 1:44 PM, NeuroTypical said:

That said, the two liberals in my ward are universally beloved and protected by all of us.  Someone messes with one of them, you mess with all of us.  

Not my ward but the ward/stake over, the bishop would probably be in some hippy communist commune in the woods if it weren't for his love of guns. He's the most liberal man I know (friends with his wife). And yet he is still a bishop of a ward in Utah.

[LDSGator]

21 minutes ago, Backroads said:

Not my ward but the ward/stake over, the bishop would probably be in some hippy communist commune in the woods if it weren't for his love of guns. He's the most liberal man I know (friends with his wife). And yet he is still a bishop of a ward in Utah.

There was a bishop in my former ward who was a former democratic congressmen. He was sort of a “moderate democrat” but without question the kindest and most Spirit filled man I ever met. 

[JohnsonJones]

On 10/31/2023 at 2:27 PM, Vort said:

A Prius is a hybrid, right? I could use that right about now. In the People's Democratic Republic of Washington, we're paying just under $5 per gallon for the tank filler.

 

On 10/31/2023 at 2:41 PM, Carborendum said:

I told you that you could move to Houston where it is currently around $2.75/gal.  But...

I'll just be content to rub that in your nose again. 

 

It's running around $2.50 to 2.60 East of Texas.  It seems the further West you get, the more expensive fuel gets.  I wonder why that is?

 

On 10/31/2023 at 2:53 PM, Ironhold said:

The problem with electric vehicles is that once you get outside of the densely-packed major metropolitan areas it's hard to find publicly-accessible charging stations. 

Go out far enough, and the only way an EV is traveling from A to B is on the back of a truck. 

I think it's easier in the East Coast where a lot of urban areas are closer together.  Out West, especially in areas past the Dakotas in the Northern Western areas, and past the Middle of Texas (into that wide barren area of West Texas where nothing seems to be) I don't know how someone could survive with only an electric vehicle.  Things are so far apart out there it's ridiculous in comparison to the East.  From Utah, from Las Vegas to California is a long barren zone where you even have to watch your fuel.  Up north from SLC to Reno is even worse...a LOT worse!  I don't know how someone would manage with an EV for that distance without turning an 8 hour trip into a multi-day event perhaps...if they could find charging stations along the way.

I think Washington State also has a similarly long period of barren areas where even Gas can be difficult to find at times in the span going Westward out of Spokane (at least if memory serves right). 

[Carborendum]

On 11/1/2023 at 9:21 AM, zil2 said:

This was my favorite.

Not a lot of people would get that. I didn't know that you knew French. Apparently, you know at least enough to recognize the double meaning here.  

[Carborendum]

1 hour ago, Backroads said:

Not my ward but the ward/stake over, the bishop would probably be in some hippy communist commune in the woods if it weren't for his love of guns. He's the most liberal man I know (friends with his wife). And yet he is still a bishop of a ward in Utah.

A couple wards back, we had a liberal bishop.  But he was the sweetest kindest man I'd seen in a long time.  The entire ward loved him.  But I kinda felt like he was reticent to say anything political because of the backlash (we are in Texas after all).

Today, we have a few families who are pretty liberal.  But we're all polite.  I do feel sad, though.  One of the families are ready to break up.  It's early enough that others don't see it.  But the mother has all but announced that she is bisexual beginning to move into full lesbian zone.  So, I see a divorce some time in the future.  And they are a great family too!  The father is one of my best friends in the ward.

I just think it's sad that they're about to break up because of this.

[Carborendum]

14 hours ago, prisonchaplain said:

I think this thread has  

You know, I thought that you had said it all so perfectly in the OP that I didn't see the need to add or detract from it.

All that remained was some comic relief thread jack.  

[Traveler]

Two comments:

First.  I drive a 94 GMC Suburban and a Trek Madone (the current going value has the Trek worth more than the Suburban but the Suburban still gets 18 to 20 mpg runs like new (never replaced the engine or trans) and will pull our river running equipment (5,000 lbs trailer).   Replacing the Suburban makes no cost sense.  I can purchase a lot of gas for costs of replacement.  I need to do some upgrades to the Trek – front and rear crank and gear set.  I put more miles on the Trek than the Suburban.

Second.  As to the op of this thread.  There are no problems with any church, business or organization – only the people that run them and implement policy.   What I have learned over the years is that the great mistake of Churches or people in a church is to focus on “converting” everybody.

Many years ago, I read a little book by an Atheists philosophically critical of Christianity.  I have forgotten the author and the title of the book, but I remember two criticisms.  He compared Christians to a gaggle of ducks that waddle around in the mud by a pond for 6 days and then on the 7th day the ducks would waddle through the mud to get to gather to talk about flying for a few hours then waddle back through the mud to their muddy place by the pond to waddle in the mud for 6 more days before waddling through the mud to get together to talk again about flying.

The other criticism was that Christians are obsessed with heaven and making sure that they get there, but they have no idea what heaven is, what it is like or what they will do if and when they finely get there.

 

The Traveler

[MrShorty]

I have recently finished Brian McLaren's Faith After Doubt and am currently reading his Do I Stay Christian.  It seems to me that McLaren echoes the OP, with perhaps more of a progressive Christian leaning rather than a conservative Christian leaning. One thread that ran through McLaren's writing was a question of "gatekeepers." Should a church be open and inviting with minimal entrance requirements and boundary maintenance, or should it be more like a country club with extensive entrance requirements and strict boundary maintenance. IMO, this is where a lot of the hard work for churches is happening right now -- deciding how to balance a desire to be "inclusive" (to reflect the Great Commission that the gospel is universally applicable to all) against the need to protect the flock from being preyed on by "the world." I suppose we will see how well we do, but it does feel like Christianity is struggling a bit right now with that balancing act.

[Ironhold]

2 hours ago, JohnsonJones said:

I think it's easier in the East Coast where a lot of urban areas are closer together.  Out West, especially in areas past the Dakotas in the Northern Western areas, and past the Middle of Texas (into that wide barren area of West Texas where nothing seems to be) I don't know how someone could survive with only an electric vehicle.  Things are so far apart out there it's ridiculous in comparison to the East.  From Utah, from Las Vegas to California is a long barren zone where you even have to watch your fuel.  Up north from SLC to Reno is even worse...a LOT worse!  I don't know how someone would manage with an EV for that distance without turning an 8 hour trip into a multi-day event perhaps...if they could find charging stations along the way.

I think Washington State also has a similarly long period of barren areas where even Gas can be difficult to find at times in the span going Westward out of Spokane (at least if memory serves right). 

I live in Coryell County, which is by Fort Hood / Fort Cavazos in what is known as the "Heart" of Texas. 

There's not a single publicly-accessible charging station in the entire county. 

The nearest station I'm aware of is at a car dealership in Temple, in neighboring Bell County. 

A grocery store chain is in talks to come to Killeen, which is just on the other side of Hood from us, and they'll have charging stations in their parking lot. But no immediate plans for anything closer at this time.

[LDSGator]

1 hour ago, MrShorty said:

 against the need to protect the flock from being preyed on by "the world.

 In my time in church I‘ve heard one speech that local leadership was worried about-and they were exactly right. The lady at a stake conference babbled about new age stuff and said other things that were flat out wrong. The SP gave a talk about it the next week. Other than that, no one has ever given a talk in church where they blaspheme from the pulpit. Never. 
 

I’d let the leadership decide when it’s time to protect the flock. It’s their job, not ours.  
 

I can’t shake the thought that “protecting the flock” really means “critiquing everyone who disagrees with me because if you don’t agree with me on everything, you must be evil.” 

Edited November 2, 2023 by LDSGator