Homophobic abuse of the heterosexual, Bo Derek and the sanctity of marriage

[Jamie123]

As a kid, I was subjected to homophobic abuse. And I'm not even gay! In fact I am SO not-gay, I think many of those who homophobe-abused me were gay by comparison. In fact I suspect some were actually real-gay with an "I'll homo-abuse the allegedly gay kid to get the attention off myself" type of agenda.

But that's speculation.

The point is, I know that homophobic abuse is an actual thing, coz I've been on the receiving end. And though I agree there is much nonsense talked about "hate speech", homophobia (along with transphobia) is a real thing.

But it's so easy to think after the event what you should have said. I was never able to think on my feet. So I'm going to indulge in a little wish-fulfilment fantasy...

There was one kid - somewhat older than me - whom I'm going to call him "CT". He once gave me a grilling about what I'd do if I were propositioned by a half-naked Bo Derek, beckoning me to bed. When I didn't immediately respond in words to the effect that I'd "do" her, he told me I was not normal, while his bully-partner (a smirking sycophant whom I'll call "CV") snickered snottily away to himself in the background.

CT: So? What would you do? There's Bo Derek calling out for you, wanting you!"

Me: Well... (Not sure how to respond. Even then I had a superstitious view of sex [barring masturbation], even though I was not very outwardly religious.)

CT:  Come on! It's Bo Derek? You do know who Bob Derek is, don't you?"

Me: She was in 10. And Tarzan the Ape M..."

CT: So...? What would you do?

Me: OK, well tell me first what you'd do?

CT: Oh well...haha...what wouldn't I do? Haha...mmmemmmmemmmm... (performs bodily contortions intended to convey sexual arousal, but actually more suggestive of diarrhea)

This is where fantasy takes over...

Me: So you'd have had "carnal knowledge" of her?

CT: Mmmm...you could put it that way....(continued vocalizations and bodily contortions). But you'd just run away, wouldn't you? Like a scared little rabbit, that's you! You'd...

Me: Has it never occurred to you that Bo Derek is married?

CT: (Momentarily taken aback) What...?

Me: Yes. To John Derek. That's how she got the name 'Derek', you know. Or did you think that's the name she was born with?

CT: I don't believe this! If you think...you're actually saying that...?

Me: That I think the sanctity of marriage is important? You bet I am! Or are you the sort of slimy little toad who goes around sleeping with other men's wives?

CT: What...? (looking over to CV for support, but getting none.)

Me: Because if you are, then I hope that when you get married, some other little slime ball comes and has his way with your wife! And I hope she enjoys him ten times better than you!

CT: But...

Me: And I hope he tells everyone about it, and everyone has a good laugh at Mr. Cuckoo-Cuckold! *does cuckoo impressions*

It's good to dream...

Edited April 3, 2024 by Jamie123

[mikbone]

You forgot Tommy Boy!

[Jamie123]

15 minutes ago, mikbone said:

You forgot Tommy Boy!

Never saw that movie. I just looked it up: It looks like Bo Derek was nominated for the Golden Raspberry "Worst Supporting Actress"

[mikbone]

Just now, Jamie123 said:

Never saw that movie. I just looked it up: It looks like Bo Derek was nominated for the Golden Raspberry "Worst Supporting Actress"

Still probably her best work.

[mikbone]

Drove me crazy to see girls in Jr. High and High School putting all those beads in their hair.

You have dated yourself sir.

[Jamie123]

2 hours ago, mikbone said:

Drove me crazy to see girls in Jr. High and High School putting all those beads in their hair.

You have dated yourself sir.

Yup... I never much liked the beads. In fact hair styles like that have always bugged the heck out of me. What do these women do when they wash their hair? Undo every last pleat and remove every last bead, and then put them all back again? By the time you're done with all that palaver it'll be time to wash your hair again! Still...women will be women.

Edited April 3, 2024 by Jamie123

[NeuroTypical]

1 hour ago, Jamie123 said:

As a kid,

Dang - are you sure you aren't me?  I had a startlingly similar experience when I was 6, and then again when I was 7, and then throughout the rest of elementary and middle school.   My elementary school was in the '70's, middle/high school in the '80's.  And you had this experience in the UK?  I grew up in Salt Lake City.  Well, we're all born stupid.  I guess there are recurring themes as kids form social circles and look for things to include and things to exclude. 

From what I can tell about today's kids, it's now trendy and cool to be part of the alphabet and feel guilty about being white.  The bad kids are transphobes and fascists and haters.

Edited April 3, 2024 by NeuroTypical

[Jamie123]

2 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Dang - are you sure you aren't me?  I had a startlingly similar experience when I was 6, and then again when I was 7, and then throughout the rest of elementary and middle school.   My elementary school was in the '70's, middle/high school in the '80's.  And you had this experience in the UK?  I grew up in Salt Lake City.  Well, we're all born stupid.  I guess there are recurring themes as kids form social circles and look for things to include and things to exclude. 

From what I can tell about today's kids, it's now trendy and cool to be part of the alphabet, and feel guilty about being white.  The bad kids are transphobes and fascists and haters.

As the late great Neil Peart once said...

Quote

Plus ca change
Plus c'est la meme chose

 

[Traveler]

I believe that in this day and age the most common abuse is based in heterophobic hatred.  Especially towards white heterosexual males.  Shucks – the abuse is so bad that heterophobic does not even make it through spell check in Microsoft Word.

 

The Traveler

[JohnsonJones]

18 hours ago, Jamie123 said:

Yup... I never much liked the beads. In fact hair styles like that have always bugged the heck out of me. What do these women do when they wash their hair? Undo every last pleat and remove every last bead, and then put them all back again? By the time you're done with all that palaver it'll be time to wash your hair again! Still...women will be women.

The beads are still around, at least with some college age individuals.  I've seen a few wearing them in the past few years.

The trend that I REALLY am not fond of though is the nose rings.  For some reason there is an inordinately large amount of women wearing these nose rings these days.  I don't know what spurred on this trend.  We never felt these things looked nice when I was their age (of course, we'd have seen them more as a pirate or something like that with a nose ring), and I can't imagine that young men find it attractive now...but maybe tastes have changed.

[Traveler]

On 4/3/2024 at 8:50 AM, Jamie123 said:

Yup... I never much liked the beads. In fact hair styles like that have always bugged the heck out of me. What do these women do when they wash their hair? Undo every last pleat and remove every last bead, and then put them all back again? By the time you're done with all that palaver it'll be time to wash your hair again! Still...women will be women.

I have learned that it is not so much what a person (or lady) wears or dose as it is the reason that they do so.  I had a native American (Crow) companion on my mission.  After his mission he had long hair with beads as part of his culture, heritage and position.

Generally, I believe that those in our culture with tattoos are so because they are not comfortable in their own skin.  However, I have among my friends Polynesians that have tattoos because of their culture, heritage and position. 

Usually those with poor reasons are a bit put out when asked why they are doing something.  Usually those with strong purpose and conviction are honored to be asked why they are doing something.

 

The Traveler

Edited April 5, 2024 by Traveler

[LDSGator]

Nevermind

Edited April 5, 2024 by LDSGator

[NeuroTypical]

17 minutes ago, Traveler said:

Generally, I believe that those in our culture with tattoos are so because they are not comfortable in their own skin.

Meanwhile on the TravelerCam, we see him sitting on his front porch watching some teenagers.

[Vort]

44 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Meanwhile on the TravelerCam, we see him sitting on his front porch watching some teenagers.

Things would be better if they would just stay off the lawn.

[Jamie123]

On 4/5/2024 at 5:25 PM, NeuroTypical said:

Meanwhile on the TravelerCam, we see him sitting on his front porch watching some teenagers.

 

[Jamie123]

For no particular reason, here's a picture of Bo Derek how she looks today.

Call me white knight, but I dont think she's aged at all badly.

[mordorbund]

Every time I open this thread I have to correct my assumption that Bo Derek is/was a player in the NFL. I am ignorant of both Hollywood and the Hollywood Bowl.

[ZealoulyStriving]

[Phoenix_person]

On 4/3/2024 at 5:10 PM, Traveler said:

I believe that in this day and age the most common abuse is based in heterophobic hatred.  Especially towards white heterosexual males.  

How so?

[Carborendum]

1 hour ago, mordorbund said:

Every time I open this thread I have to correct my assumption that Bo Derek is/was a player in the NFL. I am ignorant of both Hollywood and the Hollywood Bowl.

Please tell me you did that on purpose.

Edited April 29, 2024 by Carborendum

[Carborendum]

2 hours ago, Jamie123 said:

For no particular reason, here's a picture of Bo Derek how she looks today.

Call me white knight, but I dont think she's aged at all badly.

She was 38 when she was in Tommy Boy.  She's 67 today. Never had a facelift.  But she might have had some minor stuff done. -- Probably not.

Edited April 29, 2024 by Carborendum

[Traveler]

1 hour ago, Phoenix_person said:

How so?

Because heterosexual is the only sexuality left out of the LGBTQ community.  And toxic masculinity is spcifically defined as a hierarchy based on white male patriarchy.

 

The Traveler

[LDSGator]

4 hours ago, Jamie123 said:

Call me white knight, but I dont think she's aged at all badly.

Same. Still very pretty. 

[mikbone]

2 hours ago, Carborendum said:

She was 38 when she was in Tommy Boy.  She's 67 today. Never had a facelift.  But she might have had some minor stuff done. -- Probably not.

Tommy Boy is 29 years old.

nowai!

[Phoenix_person]

11 hours ago, Traveler said:

Because heterosexual is the only sexuality left out of the LGBTQ community. 

Heterosexuality was the ONLY acceptable sexual norm in Western society for centuries. LGBTQ people weren't just "left out", they were actively (and often violently) persecuted en masse. Heck, openly queer folks in the US couldn't serve their country until 2011. That didn't stop some of them from serving with honor and dignity, and there's a strong possibility that some LGBTQ people have died in the service of a country that never accepted them in their lifetime.

Outside of the military, LGBTQ folks have been murdered, beaten, and in many other ways actually persecuted simply for loving the wrong person or wearing the wrong clothes. I don't know about you, but as a cis-het white man, I don't feel like there has ever been that kind of hatred and animosity directed towards me. When cis-het people DO experience some blowback for their sexual/gender orientation, it's usually because they were being intolerant jerks, not exclusively because they aren't queer. So I hope you'll forgive me for not being up in arms about the lack of Straight Pride Month™️ or whatever trivial recognition you think cis-het people are entitled to.

11 hours ago, Traveler said:

And toxic masculinity is spcifically defined as a hierarchy based on white male patriarchy.

White patriarchy is often defined by Paul's biblical teachings on patriarchy, specifically the contortion of it by some Christians to justify misogynistic and flat-out abusive behavior. However, there has never been an assumption that toxicity is limited to white people. The black community, for instance, rightfully takes a lot of heat for misogynist attitudes among black men. Systemic racism plays a role in the epidemic of fatherless black children, but so does generally toxic male behavior. Black men are far more likely to face repercussions for abusive behavior, both from their partners and from society, than white men. Divorce rates in the black community (not all caused by abuse, of course) are 10% higher than the national average despite 60% of the US population being white. That doesn't happen in a non-toxic environment. Again, some of it can be blamed on white society's ostricization of the Black community until recent history (yes, recent, many of the people who fought in the Civil Rights movement, both sides of it, are still alive today), but a lot of it comes down to poor personal behavior and decisions. Those problems aren't limited to black men, but black men tend to pay for it more than their white (esp white Christian) counterparts.