Am I the scumbag?

[mikbone]

So for the past 2 months I have received 3-4 emails and 3-4 verbal reminders from the ward leaders that I need to attend the following meeting as a representative of the Elders Quorum.

"Hi all,  just a reminder that the Temple And Family History training is today at 2:00 in the Red Bluff building. The training is for all temple and family history specialists and the councilors in both Elders Quorum and Relief Society that are responsible for temple and family history work."

Turns out that the meeting is being taught by a married couple from the big city (Sacramento 1.5 hours south of me).  And that they have given the presentation multiple times before coming to our ward.

Anyway, the husband of the couple sat down the entire lesson and gave occasional support while the wife gave the presentation which had nothing to do with Family History training.  It was more of family history awareness mostly with statistics and occasional general authority quotes.

During the entire 45 min presentation, I'm thinking when are we getting to the content of this meeting.  When she asked for questions I asked if there was any training in this training meeting.  Handout? Could she direct me to a website? Are there any YouTube tutorial channels that can teach family history for dummies?  At about my 3rd question she started to get irritated with me (I later recognized as I can sometimes interpret social queues incorrectly).  Her recommendations were to have one of the youth in the ward teach me as the youth are good with computers.  Or that I should create a youtube channel.  My wife tells me that the husband appeared furious with my badgering but I totally missed that as well. 

Three of the attendants of the meeting (including our Stake President) tried to mollify both parties while also requesting some sort of practical direction.

I eventually found the website https://www.familysearch.org/en/fieldops/article/family-tree-basics and I plan to go over it sometime this week.  I texted the website to multiple attendees at the meeting, at their request, and received text messages after the meeting thanking me for my input.

Looking for recommendations.

In the future when I am requested to go to a training meeting I will request an agenda with goals and material that I can review prior to the meeting to make the sessions more productive.

 

Edited June 25, 2024 by mikbone

[mordorbund]

I sympathize quite a bit with you @mikbone. If the lesson is priesthood keys or doctrine then I'm fine with quotes and discussion, but if it's supposed to be a training or a lesson on family history then people should be expected to bring a device to follow along. A second problem I often have with these trainings is the training typically covers the same material as if everyone is noobs. Ideally you would include the noob stuff, but also include some advanced material (like using birth and marriage records to traverse up a tree line) -- I may not be skilled enough to fully follow along, but I can at least know that it's doable when I finally face that scenario.

Roots Tech has a good balance of noob material and advanced material. If you are on the Family History council you should be getting an invite to it every year. You can access some videos from previous years here: https://www.familysearch.org/en/rootstech/library. There's a section of Just the Basics that should be good for starting out, and as you browse you can see other topics and skills that you may want to work up to.

[mordorbund]

Bonus: looks like RootsTech has had some sessions about genealogy and AI. https://www.familysearch.org/en/rootstech/search?f.language=en-US&f.text=ai&p.index=0

[NeuroTypical]

45 minutes ago, mikbone said:

Looking for recommendations.

In the future when I am requested to go to a training meeting I will request an agenda with goals and material that I can review prior to the meeting to make the sessions more productive.

I can't help you with family history, but holy crap do I also have stories of getting pushed into absolute wastes of time.  Sensitive people doing a poor job are everywhere.  Your future plan sounds great for ensuring you don't waste time in the future. 

"Love thy neighbor" is the commandment in play here, and it doesn't mean set yourself aside just to waste time.  Just make sure you have the correct definition of what constitutes "wasted time".   Is it worth an hour for you to help the person in charge have some learning and growing experiences, even though you go away not having learned a single thing?  I mean, there's the value you wanted to get, and then there's the value you end up with.   This is the notion that helps me endure such events: Have I done anything to help this poor struggling failing person, struggle and fail less?  Can I remember a time in my past when I wasted someone else's time?   If I can empathize, or even sympathize, I find my behavior is closer to something I'd be happy reviewing as I kneel before my Savior at the final judgment.  

Yeah, ensuring your time will be productive to you is a worthy activity.  But we'll all end up in another situation we hate to be in, and I'm addressing that future event.

Are you TS or NTS?  I'd say that depends on how you handle the next time-waster you get blindsided by and trapped in.

Edited June 25, 2024 by NeuroTypical

[LDSGator]

3 minutes ago, mordorbund said:

A second problem I often have with these trainings is the training typically covers the same material as if everyone is noobs

Exactly. We had a class one time where a newlywed was tying to teach a class on how to make a marriage work. His audience included guys who had been married 10+ years, 20+ years, 30+ years, and more. It was awkward  

[Vort]

NTS.

[NeuroTypical]

Full disclosure, I'll often not give stake activities a single brain cell worth of thought, or a single muscle fiber worth of effort.  The Ward structure is there to enrich the lives of the saints, and while the Stake structure has many obvious good reasons for existing, I've found it often acts in ways reminiscent of corporate America's dysfunctional middle-management.  "Let's all get together and go accomplish the same thing" is a worthy goal, but it requires skill, knowledge, love, and ability to carry it off effectively.  It's a lousy development opportunity for the people in charge, but it keeps getting used as one.

Don't get me wrong, I met an apostle and grew spiritually because of a stake activity.  Our stake youth camps have routinely produced miracles for the two decades I've been paying attention.  My stake's leadership during covid and lockdowns was a net blessing at a stressful and troubling time.  But boy-howdy have there been some stinkers resulting in wasted time or worse.

Edited June 25, 2024 by NeuroTypical

[LDSGator]

2 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

boy-howdy have there been some stinkers resulting in wasted time or worse.

I’m with you. I hate meetings where you just sit there. I tend to be in perpetual motion!

[Carborendum]

1 hour ago, mikbone said:

Am I the scumbag?

I'm going to assume you're not asking me.  I'd have done far worse than you did.

[mikbone]

59 minutes ago, mordorbund said:

Bonus: looks like RootsTech has had some sessions about genealogy and AI. https://www.familysearch.org/en/rootstech/search?f.language=en-US&f.text=ai&p.index=0

Thanks found a video about AI and genealogy will watch after work.

You provided way more helpful information than an hour long meeting.

Edited June 25, 2024 by mikbone

[mikbone]

Holy crap! with me inputting minimal information

[NeuroTypical]

If I lived in Slopnice, Bohemia, I would move to Wisconsin as soon as humanly possible.

[mikbone]

Jan Mikulecky was born in 1822 in Bohemia, which is now part of the Czech Republic. He immigrated to the United States in the mid-19th century, settling in Wisconsin. Jan, also known as John, was part of the wave of Czech immigrants who moved to Wisconsin between 1848 and 1880 [oai_citation:1,Mikulecky Genealogy | WikiTree FREE Family Tree](https://www.wikitree.com/genealogy/Mikulecky) [oai_citation:2,John Mikulecky, b.1842 d.1900 - Ancestry®](https://www.ancestry.com.au/genealogy/records/john-mikulecky-24-tqrkx8).

Jan Mikulecky came to the U.S. around 1852, traveling through Bremen, Germany, and Quebec, Canada, before eventually arriving in Wisconsin. He initially settled in Caledonia, Racine County. Unfortunately, Jan died during the cholera epidemic in 1853 or 1854, shortly after his arrival in the U.S. [oai_citation:3,Mikulecky Genealogy | WikiTree FREE Family Tree](https://www.wikitree.com/genealogy/Mikulecky) [oai_citation:4,John Mikulecky, b.1842 d.1900 - Ancestry®](https://www.ancestry.com.au/genealogy/records/john-mikulecky-24-tqrkx8).

The Mikulecky family continued to grow in the U.S., with descendants moving to other states, such as Kansas and Minnesota. The name Mikulecky remains relatively rare and is often associated with those of Czech ancestry [oai_citation:5,Mikulecky Genealogy | WikiTree FREE Family Tree](https://www.wikitree.com/genealogy/Mikulecky) [oai_citation:6,John Mikulecky, b.1842 d.1900 - Ancestry®](https://www.ancestry.com.au/genealogy/records/john-mikulecky-24-tqrkx8).

For further details on Jan Mikulecky's descendants and additional genealogical information, you might consider exploring resources like Ancestry.com or WikiTree, which offer extensive databases and user-contributed family trees [oai_citation:7,Mikulecky Genealogy | WikiTree FREE Family Tree](https://www.wikitree.com/genealogy/Mikulecky) [oai_citation:8,John Mikulecky, b.1842 d.1900 - Ancestry®](https://www.ancestry.com.au/genealogy/records/john-mikulecky-24-tqrkx8).

 

This is from ChatGPT iphone version.  The computer free version 3.5 refused to look into public records.

My favorite line from the AI genology presentation so far, “AI can mimic human intelligence.  It can also mimic human stupidity”

[Manners Matter]

Seems to me, the 'trainers' should send out a questionnaire* ahead of time to get an understanding of their audience so the time spent is productive and helpful. As handy as it would be to give the same presentation to everyone, one size does not fit all. Every area is different and so are the needs so the job should be to figure out how to best support people in their roles. That's my take on it anyway.

*Questions like how long have you been in your calling, what do you hope to learn about during this meeting, rate your level of knowledge/understanding with the following (ie indexing, adding memories, using the fs website, research, etc), indicate your level of interest in discussing how to work as an effective fh team, how to get ward members involved in fh, etc.

[mikbone]

18 minutes ago, Manners Matter said:

Seems to me, the 'trainers' should send out a questionnaire*

Well they could have done many positive things. 

Someone gave them an assignment without any direction or feedback.

Apparently didn’t even ask them if they had any experience with family history (which they don’t or is so superficial that they could not answer simple related questions).

I can tell when someone is a neophyte or making up stuff on the run.

And after having given this presentation probably a half dozen times at least, I was the only person that gave any negative feedback.

 

Edited June 25, 2024 by mikbone

[zil2]

42 minutes ago, mikbone said:

This is from ChatGPT

I just hope you know how to verify all its answers because if you told it, "No, Jan was born on the moon.", it would apologize for its error and play along...

[mirkwood]

Yeah, I've sat through some "mandatory" meetings.  Sometimes I keep my sarcastic commentary in check.

[mikbone]

1 hour ago, mirkwood said:

Yeah, I've sat through some "mandatory" meetings.  Sometimes I keep my sarcastic commentary in check.

Yeah, this is my issue.  Retrospectively I was abrasive and should have been more Christ like.

I was irritated that she hijacked my afternoon and took it out on her.

But somebody from the past 5 stops where she gave this same presentation should have given her some Christ-like feedback.

We shouldn’t just hold our peace and endure to the end should we.

 

[Carborendum]

8 hours ago, mikbone said:

But somebody from the past 5 stops where she gave this same presentation should have given her some Christ-like feedback.

Christ-like is the key.

8 hours ago, mikbone said:

We shouldn’t just hold our peace and endure to the end should we.

That is my mentality as well.  The problem is that I'm not sufficiently Christ-like to be the one to do so.  But I'm trying to change.

I'm reading How to Win Friends and Influence People (again).  I've never been able to read all the way through it.  But I believe I'll get there this time.  This is the answer to that thread I started about tact = deception.  We can still tell the truth and get at the problem without insulting them.  But it isn't as easy as the author leads us to believe.  It takes practice and lots of thought to apply these techniques adeptly.  I'm trying.

This is the book I needed when I was in high school.  But the fact was that I was not ready for it.  I think I'm in a place now where I'm more receptive to that message.

[mikbone]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

I'm reading How to Win Friends and Influence People (again). 

lol

I’ve probably read it 3x and listened to the audiobook x2.

I need Dale Carnegie to follow me around with a cattle prod apparently…

[NeuroTypical]

4 hours ago, Carborendum said:

I'm reading How to Win Friends and Influence People (again).

Is there anything in the book that can't be summarized by "you catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"?    If there is, maybe I'll read it. 

[Carborendum]

3 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Is there anything in the book that can't be summarized by "you catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"?    If there is, maybe I'll read it. 

For me, the benefit is the numerous examples of how to do that in various situations.  He gives historical examples.  They're very instructive and enlightening.

[Vort]

1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

Is there anything in the book that can't be summarized by "you catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"?    If there is, maybe I'll read it. 

You realize, of course, that this is literally untrue.

[mikbone]

1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

Is there anything in the book that can't be summarized by "you catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"?    If there is, maybe I'll read it. 

Oh gosh yes.  Its a classic

[LDSGator]

1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

Is there anything in the book that can't be summarized by "you catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"?    If there is, maybe I'll read it. 

Yes. It should be read by everyone.