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There has been some really weird and undesirable traffic within the last 24 hours. I had to sleep but I'm back to working on it. But in the meantime, verification must stay on to keep the server up/functioning/responding at all till the "attack?" is mitigated.

Kindness > Unrestrained Honesty

Am I the only one getting this when accessing ThirdHour? It started yesterday - but loading the site always timed out with a 522 error, so verifying I'm human didn't yield results. I get it on my computer and my Android device. I'm still getting it today - not for every click, but it seems every n minutes (I have yet to determine how long n is).

Are you sure? To me it means “I’m going to be an adult and put my personal feelings aside so the group can function better.” My cousins and I don’t get along. We never have. At the next funeral I’m not going to tell them what I really think of them. 1. They know 2. It’s not the time or the place and 3. I have the respect for my mom and dad and I don’t want to make them feel awkward. I’d love to tell my cousins how I really feel, believe me. But It’s called “being a grown up, so I control myself.”

Just to be clear, I know zero principled conservatives who recognize, much less align with, what's been labeled the "alt-right". I'm not happy with the name. It's meant to smear folks on the right, and associate them with horrible people. Sort of like how the folks on the left are sort of uncomfortable with the antifa types who push flaming dumpsters against the only exit to a police station, trying to burn the building down, in the name of defending minorities and being against fascism. Whereas the right will occasionally be personality driven, the left is "the streets". The militant left is far more well-versed in local small group organizing for acts ranging from civil disobedience, to burning down police stations, to organizing riots that smash starbucks and targets. The small groups come and go, forming, doing their DO, then disbanding. They were real good at organizing on pre-musk Twitter. This was on a letter in Denver, promising violence and mayhem if various DefundTheCops demands weren't met: I get it. Something to consider: It's ok to be vocal against lawlessness, violence, hatred, and bigotry, no matter where you find it. It's ok to say "no thanks PinkPower (or whatever LGBTQ org is riling folks up for mayhem), I'm not going to support you with your instigating mayhem. You do more harm than good with those tactics." I'll do it: This guy is an idiot:

Some mitigations have been put in place. Feel free to let us know if your site experience doesn't go back to "normal".

One can argue all they want about whether God allows mortals to misunderstand words in order to bring them to actual truth, but the above leaves little room for doubt - this is a place where all see and know the same things in the same way - no deception, no misunderstanding, complete honesty. If that ever happened on Earth, God would take that group of people the same as he took the City of Enoch (since it cannot happen without numerous other virtues also having been mastered).

Oh yeah, there's a never-ending river of never-depleted horrible and toxic out there on the internet. Like @Phoenix_person, I also go slugging it out online, and yes indeed, our precious thirdhour is indeed a small island of calm in a sea of acid. I'm reminded of how folks reacted after Roe v. Wade got overturned: Mind you, this was before Musk bought Twitter and fired all the censors who filtered out all the objectionable content. I've personally been called a Nazi, and also a nazi bootlicker. I've been told to unalive myself more times than I can count. I've been told to drink bleach and die in a hole (years ago when it was said in seriousness, before the phrase became an ironic hammer). My favorite is when I got banned from a Star Trek facebook forum, that was discussing politics, for saying something positive about Trump: They banned me before I could respond. I'm so sad to see the immediate 1000x rise of antisemitism come back. Folks who three months ago were telling me about how the right wants to commit genocide on trans people, are now shouting "from the river to the sea" and "normalize the intifada", and opining about how every zionist, and all of Israel, must be utterly obliterated. I see this on Twitter/X, Tiktok, instagram, facebook, youtube comments. If you're a random acquaintance with any Jewish folk, it might be worth just stopping by or dropping a quick line, asking them how they're doing. And if they're worried, letting them know that you're happy they're around.

A married co-worker once asked me what I thought of his new facial hair style - not unlike this one: I told him his wife was the only person allowed to have an opinion and hers counted for more than his own.

I have come to the conclusion that people have different personality types. Even within a particular type there can be a spectrum of variance. I think this is one of many reasons that there are communication problems. I looks to me that @Carborendum kinds of falls in a similar personality type that I do. It is a type that is logical –we make really good engineers and really bad customer relationship (sales) people. I am very lucky because I married the polar opposite personality type that is able to cover for most of my relationship blunders. I will give an example: I ask a new member of our Elder’s quorum to lead the discussion topic recently. After priesthood I was with my wife and the good brother’s wife joined him. Since we were all close, she turned to me and asked how her husband did with the lesson. I responded very truthfully and said that he did much better than I expected. My wife stepped in and said that my response is as high of a complement as I ever give – that it must have been really good. Later she explained to me that most people would take my complement negatively – that I would assume that they would do terrible. I should just say he did a good job. I attempted to explain that I expected a typical good job but he had done better. She reminded me that it was not what I said. In general, I think those of us that have the gift of logic and love using it to express what we think is true can never quite say the right thing to the types that “follow their heart” and live off their feelings. Attempts to connect on our level or theirs is just not going to happen very often – never without some spiritual help from above. The Traveler

The other interesting thing about this topic? I’ve rarely seen someone’s life improve after they decided to become more blunt. Usually your life gets better when you try to use more restraint. I’m sure there is someone out there who became more blunt and tactless and improved their life-but the overwhelming majority of us moments where we wish we acted with more manners, not less.

Transformers fandom. https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Jazz_(G1)/toys All of the toys from the classic 1984 line-up originally came from other toy lines. Most of these were from the Diaclone toy line produced by Hasbro's Japanese partner Takara. One of these Diaclone-era figures transforms into a Porsche 935 Turbo, and when released as a part of the Diaclone line its vehicle mode livery was directly copied from a real-life race car, the Martini Racing #4 vehicle. Hasbro only made minor alterations to the deco before releasing this toy as Jazz. Even as early as 1986 it was becoming apparent that only providing minor alterations was a bad idea, as a version of Jazz that was made available in 1986 as a mail-in offer lacked the faux references to Martini Racing. Ever since then, Hasbro has gone back and forth with Jazz' vehicle mode colors. This includes a plain white vehicle mode and a vehicle mode with music notes and the #1 on the side. Well, IDW Publishing, the company that had the license to a number of Hasbro's properties in the 2010s, started going hardcore "woke" in their Transformers and G. I. Joe books. This caused the fandom to start rifting apart over political differences, with those people who just didn't want to have to deal with real-life politics in their escapism being lumped in with the more conservative members of the fandom as "haters" & such. The then-ongoing culture wars over the 2016 Ghostbusters film, the Disney-era Star Wars movies, and other controversial works, widened the divide. In 2017, Hasbro decided to release another Jazz figure. What nobody at Hasbro initially realized is that the person who designed his vehicle mode design scheme used a text-replacement system created for the franchise to hide the term "MAGA" on the toy's deco. It wasn't until the toys shipped to retail that the first purchasers noticed this. For obvious reasons, this incident caused quite the uproar in the fandom. Most people agreed that this had no place in the franchise, and considered it fair that Hasbro summarily fired the designer responsible for it. However, several of the more left-leaning and "progressive" people in the fandom, including the people in charge of certain prominent fan websites, decided it was not enough. In their eyes, Trump was a bigot, anything related to Trump was bigoted, and since Jazz was a "black" character this represented nothing short of a hate crime. Yes, even though Jazz is a robot, because he was voiced by Scatman Carothers in the 1980s cartoon series, these individuals decided that he was "black". This incident essentially marked the point of no return, and the fandom is *still* split on political grounds. As if that wasn't bad enough, when Hasbro decided to release another new Jazz figure in 2021, he was the #14 vehicle. Cue Jenevieve Franks, whose entire claim to fame is having minor roles at IDW as a "consultant", immediately going berserk on social media and claiming that this was somehow a reference to white supremacy. This left a number of individuals, like myself, trying to tell folks to calm down and wait for Hasbro to explain. Well, remember what I said about the original 1984 Jazz figure having originally been recycled from the Diaclone toy line? In the original Diaclone product catalog, the Porsche 935 Turbo was... item number #14. It turns out that Martini has #1 and #41 Porsches in addition to the #4 Porsche, so the designer went with #14 as a nod to the Diaclone origin. Franks has yet to apologize for the panic she caused. IDW would eventually be stripped of the Joe and Transformers licenses, and it seemed like the world was about to heal. ...Then the cartoon for Transformers: Earthspark had an episode involving pronouns and a robot character declaring itself to be non-binary... Yeah...

Hm. I'm not sure that's what tact means. Tact has something to do with speaking inoffensively. You can take strong issue with people, express all sorts of disagreement with them, in tactful ways. It's just that, if you hate their guts, you'll probably feel like you're lying to them by saying inoffensive things, because every fiber of your being is screaming at you to offend them. Because after what they did, they deserve to be offended. I've found tactful ways to tell people if they show up at our house, we'll call the cops on them.

This is very interesting. I'm considering the idea that I may not be able to think of a "nice & honest" thing to say because I don't really love them. So, the key to "find a nice thing to say regardless of the question" (within reason) is based on my ability to love them as a child of God. And my inability to say such nice things, is because I don't have enough Charity to be able to see the good in them. I could easily be offended by this. But I'm choosing not to be. I'm considering it.

Something like this happened to me recently. This is a question of "framing." "It was better than I expected" can be taken either way. You meant it one way. They took it another way. Luckily your wife was able to translate. I was not so fortunate. My wife was the one who got upset, believing I had offended someone. But luckily, the person that was supposed to be offended took it the way I intended. He didn't have a problem with it.

I totally get folks who don't want someone to know what they really feel about them. I'm talking about the 2nd great commandment. "Love thy neighbor as thyself". Life is better when your feelings are pure. Please don't think I'm preaching to anyone but myself. I've gotten better at this over the years, but I'm hardly perfect. But forgiving your enemy and loving your neighbor go a really long way to making tact easy and truthful.

It seems like you are looking for a Win button. AKA some method or plan that always allows you to be truthful, never gets you accused of anything not nice. Such a button does not exist. The best I got is... Try to minimize the harm you do the best you know how, and do not give up on trying because you will mess it up.

I have plenty of practice in what NOT to do. But to "practice" doing the right thing, I first need examples of the right thing to do. No one offers them to me. Take this forum for instance. Good honest people telling me to lie. Gee, that helps. I'm going to look for this and place it on my desk.

This is part of "practice" - but I suppose if 99.9% of the population have given up and just tell the pretty lies, that makes it difficult for you to find resources to learn from. IMO, a good imagination would help here, but not everyone is gifted with that. FWIW, when all else fails, turn to the one who knows exactly how to help you specifically - Christ. (I actually have this pad of sticky notes. )

You have a point. But many of his other books are not like that at all. It is a sociologist's look at the human condition. In this particular case, it is about how powerful people tend to work and behave. It also describes how people around such powerful people behave. But it inevitably goes into the manipulative bits. Again, if we just allow for the "not answering" I think it would be great. Do you know how confused I got and how much I was (for lack of a better word) abused in my childhood by my peers because I didn't really understand the concept of a lie? It was all the time. I believed everyone. But I did at least wonder about some people possibly being wrong. That was something I understood. But lie? I just didn't get why they would do that -- especially when it was a lie to inflict harm. Yes, they considered it a joke. But it certainly didn't seem funny to inflict physical harm on someone or damage their property. No, I believe that the art of "reframing" is what needs to be done. But people are really bad at it nowadays. Politicians used to be more adept at that. But nowadays, they are so inept that they choose to lie and deceive rather than reframe. That's not the way the world is supposed to be.

I could have told you that based on the title alone. Imagine a world where virtually everyone is 100% honest with each other in day-to-day interactions. What do you suppose that would look like? I operate on the outskirts of the political realm, and even from a reasonably safe distance, it's painfully obvious to me that it's impossible to be a truly honest politician. They simply don't exist. That doesn't mean they're all bad people. I'm quite fond of most of the people who represent me in government. I'm even thinking about volunteering on my state rep's reelection campaign. But a lot of political strategy requires some sort of dishonesty and deception, and no political "sides", extreme or centrist, are immune. I'm on the spectrum, so that's been a difficult adjustment for me. I don't usually struggle with tact (I used to), but directness is typically my default. I've had to work on that a bit in my current volunteer capacity. Welcome to the Thunderdome.

So everyone who uses manners is “sociopathic or narcissistic” and rude people are the only ones who are stable, grounded and balanced?

You realize that your example was simply the "avoidance" that I described that I feel like I have to do. You did not lie. That is what I am advocating. And if I could be as good at it as you are, then I'd find that to be a good solution.

It's an external image, so maybe from a domain your filters don't allow. It's a dude with a full beard and a handlebar mustache - you know, with the curled up ends. Honestly, the dude at work (who was about my age, maybe a little older) had even more of a curl to his mustache - it reminded me of Salvador Dali, only fuller.

I've invited Paul to come and address this.

God does the same. Ether 3:12 And he answered: Yea, Lord, I know that thou speakest the truth, for thou art a God of truth, and canst not lie. D&C 19:7 Again, it is written eternal damnation; wherefore it is more express than other scriptures, that it might work upon the hearts of the children of men, altogether for my name’s glory. Luke 9:44 Let these sayings sink down into your ears: for the Son of man shall be delivered into the hands of men. 45 But they understood not this saying, and it was hid from them, that they perceived it not: and they feared to ask him of that saying.

Nothing wrong with that as long as you accept the same behavior from everyone else. If you want to put tact on the side that’s fine, but you lose the right to complain if someone gives you the same attitude.

The spinning thing is what happened to me -- on my desktop. I didn't notice anything that it required.

The site was pretty much non-functional for a time yesterday. I thought it was a problem on my end. Apparently, it was due to site maintenance. I've been getting similar messages as well. I wonder how it is verifying. For instance, is there an AI that can get past the "images" test that is found on many sites?

It's happening for me on my phone as well.

Jeez - talk about a timely article. This is about gay folks who had left the church, finding ways to come back. It's long, but worth a read. https://www.deseret.com/faith/2024/05/31/latter-day-saints-reconciling-faith-and-sexuality/

Personally, I'd prefer the full-length original. I suppose the missing verses are a bit too "flesh is bad" and semi-suicidal to include, but I like the whole of it anyway. But the verses they selected are in fact the best ones. [The page with all the new hymns is here.]

Presented for our viewing pleasure. note-yes, it’s more complicated than the viral video shows. But it’s still grimly hilarious

They haven't been made in eons. You can find a few on ebay or similar. If you really want it, PM me and I'll send you mine (it's been sitting in a drawer for 30+ years).

Clearly you haven't mastered human avoidance. Try harder. People never notice when I'm not there. In fact, some might have a coronary if I were there. (Also, I once tried to go there, but the minute I arrived, it became here. After this happened many times in a row, I finally gave up on there altogether and decided to just stay here.) PS: Lest you think you're all alone (which seems unlikely given your inability to avoid humans, but still), I'm with you in this - there should be a way to both not lie and be polite. It likely requires practice, thinking fast on your feet, humility, and the pure love of Christ. (In other words, I don't think it is necessary to lie to be polite.)

I avoid these problems by avoiding humans - problem solved.

I don't know that I was good at it, and in my mind at the time, I wasn't avoiding anything, just speaking the truth. It is my firm belief that the person who has to kiss the lips hidden inside all that hair gets all the say over whether the hair exists. Other than that, I couldn't care less what dude did with his facial hair. FWIW, dude wasn't pleased that I wasn't praising his magnificent 'stache.

From an old Sprint commercial: "When Sprint said that you could speak freely on weekends, we didn't mean it like this:" Flash to a young man speaking on the phone: "No, it's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's your hips... hello??... Mom??..."

To be clear, it’s never “Tim, how do I look in this new bikini?” Or anything that intimate!

I’ve had female friends ask me about their new hairstyles, if they look like they’ve lost weight, etc. It’s not common but it has happened.

That was just an example that everyone could relate to. And it was a "less attractive" roommate of a girl I was picking up for a date. ... to be clear: it was before I was married.

I get the "Verifying" message. Then it flashes "Leave us, you nonbiological entity!" and after that, I can't access the site. I can't identify [FLAG—Noncommon term detected. Replacing with synonym from Common Terms list] figure out what's going on. It's so confusing. I guess I'll go eat a breakfast of swine flesh and red junglefowl embryos like all my fellow humans. Just normal human stuff, the kind of thing we all know and do every day without really thinking about it. Just like I don't think about it.

You and @mirkwoodhave an odd friendship. 😜

I totally agree. I think the future of churches won’t be persecution-it’ll be apathy. I'm 6-8 years into a 20 year bet with my atheist buddy on this issue. From where he's standing, my church will do anything to preserve growth, and therefore we'll have same-sex marriages in the temple somewhere in the 2030's. I say we're what we claim to be, which is led by Deity, and governed by eternal principles. I figure the church won't change principles just to remain relevant, we'll shrink in size first. Loser has to put on a pink tutu and sing "I'm a little teapot".