classylady

You're still young. It's never too late for education. I went back to college in my late 30's, pregnant with my last child. I started over because it had been so long since I had been in school. I took out student loans, but now I wish I hadn't. It's a heavy burden, and I continually have to put the loan on deferment--and the interest just continually adds to the loan. For me, it's been a wonderful sense of accomplishment to have my degree. I changed my major half-way through, but that's okay. And once I graduated, I got a job that didn't even need a degree. But, the job was what I was supposed to be doing (working for a major airlines). I didn't understand at the time, why this was where the Lord wanted me to be, when I wasn't even using my degree. But, over the years, because of my flight benefits, I've been able to travel. And I've had two children who have lived outside of the country. It would have been cost prohibitive to take the whole family to Germany on numerous occasions, but with my flight benefits we could fly for free--or nearly free. And I have another child that lives in So. Korea. She says she may end up there for the rest of her life. With my flight benefits, I'll be able to visit her on a regular basis. So, at the time, I didn't understand why I was supposed to work in this particular field, and not even use my degree, but now that time has passed I can see why the Lord wanted me to be there. Even though I haven't used my degree, I may in the future. I'm retired from the airlines, but I'm currently looking for employment again. And like I said, it is a wonderful sense of accomplishment. I think it's also a self-esteem/self-worth booster. So, if you can manage it financially--even part time, I say "go for it"!

As a teenager, I probably would have tried something like that. (It's a good thing my mom never knew half the things I did). I've gotten careful in my old age--I'm not so nimble footed anymore. And I have to agree with Vort--absolutely would not want my kids to try it.

Congratulations, Beefche and Dravin! And congratulations to FunkyTown! May all go well for your ceremonies, and many happy years together!

I don't extreme coupons, but do use coupons occasionally. I have a neighbor who coupons. She says she started using coupons after her husband had a drastic cut in pay. She's been able to bring her grocery bill down from $750.00 a month to around $250.00 a month. They're a family of six, with four young children. She doesn't work outside of the home, and she figures this is her "job"--this is the way she is able to save their family money. Manufacturers wouldn't make coupons if it didn't bring them revenue. And for the stores, if they felt coupons were detrimental to their business, I'm sure they would restrict the use of coupons. I think it's actually a win/win situation.

1. I wanted something positive. Originally, I thought of using Electlady because I love the scripture in D&C 25:3 "Behold, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou art an elect lady...". I also wanted a name that would show my gender. But, Electlady didn't seem right, so I changed my mind and decided to use a name that was more personal to me and something that I would remember (I am notorious for not remembering passwords or usernames)--so I went with Classylady. And my avatar, the Mona Lisa, is a painting that I love, and I think of "class" whenever I see her painting. Whenever I open up my iphone, it's the picture of the Mona Lisa that I chose to have pop up for me to see. It reminds me of my trips to Paris and the Louvre where I've been able to see the Mona Lisa in person. 2. My screen name has a personal meaning to me. One of the greatest compliments I have ever received happened this way. While on my mission in Germany I could pretty much get along with everyone--both the elders and sisters who were slackers and those who were super straight. One of the slacker elders (a problem missionary) was in the LTM (now the MTC) at the same time I was, though a month ahead of me. After we were in Germany for about a year, I was transferred to a new city and getting to know the Elders in the new area. The district leader told me that he wasn't too sure about working with sister missionaries, but Elder B. (the problem missionary, that he had once worked with several months ago) had told him, that Sister R. (me) "is alright. She has class." Coming from that particular Elder, who was almost sent home several times, but he managed to stick it out, was a true compliment. And ever since then, I've tried to live up to that compliment. Also, I would much rather be thought of as someone who has class, rather than someone who is crass. 3. I like the names that I can read and actually say. Anything with just numbers or letters (which probably has meaning to the individual), doesn't haven't any meaning to me, so it's hard for me to remember them.

This is a hard one for me. And for me, faith and trust go hand in hand. I don't know if I can really disconnect the two. I don't know what has happened in your life that you've felt so much pain, and you've lost your trust in God. Do you feel that God no longer cares about you and your struggles? For me personally, what I have had to do, is to realize that there is pain and suffering in this world that we are born into. Am I exempt from that? No. If I am trying to live my life the way God would have me live, does that mean I won't experience any pain and sorrow? Again, no. There are tragedies that happen all around us. All I have to do is read a newspaper or listen to the news, and hear of some horrific tragedy. Am I exempt from tragedy? No. I've experienced some hard trials in my life. For some reason, I have not lost my faith or trust in God because of them. I admit that in the grief process I have gotten angry with God. But, I tell myself, "just because I'm trying to live faithfully, does not mean I won't experience grief or trials". I believe in the laws of science and nature. And God allows the natural laws to affect our lives--such as health (something going wrong with our bodies) or physical accidents (car accidents, etc). This is all part of life's experience. I am not exempt from any of these things happening to me or to anyone in my family. I'll share one personal example. My 19 year old daughter died in a car accident leaving behind a 2 month old son. This has been heart breaking to the whole family. We have all struggled with it, and have all experienced grief over it. My grandson's father has lost his belief in God. He has said: "How can there be a loving God, to allow this to happen? My son needs his mother. I can't believe in a God that would allow a mother to be taken away from her young son." He supposedly believed in God before this happened. What changed, that now he doesn't believe? Is it because it's no longer just a story he has read in the newspaper? Is it because the tragedy is now personal? I can't answer for him. This is just my observation. And now, we as a family also struggle because my grandson has been diagnosed with an autistic syndrome--so, he has no mother, and has an autistic syndrome. Do we shake our fists at God and cry "not fair!" Some in the family, might. But, that's not my response. I'm just grateful every day for my grandson. I'm grateful that we had our daughter for 19 years of her life. She struggled with health problems and pain for quite a few years of her life. She seemed to be able to keep her faith in God in spite of her health issues. So, like I said earlier in my post. This is a hard one for me. Maybe it's our personalities. Some people just seem to be able to accept what life hands them and others struggle with it. I'm reminded of the scripture in the BofM Alma 62:41 ... "many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility." Why is it that some of us are hardened by our trials, and others are softened? Is it our personalities, our spirits? Again, I don't really know. But, this I do know. God is aware of me, and knows of my griefs and sorrows. I have one particular sorrow, (that is too personal to share), that I carry with me constantly. It is a heavy burden. But, I have learned to turn to my Father in Heaven in prayer. This particular burden cannot be removed from my life, but it can be easier to bear because I know of God's love for me. I hope you can learn to trust in God again. I know He loves you and is aware of your pain.

Where's my laugh button?

When I first read your New Era article, it reminded me about your post on sending a package to your friend in Ireland--I believe that was an internet friendship? So, it was fun to see that the article was actually written by you.

Yes, I seriously thought that. And then when I read your post today, I had to get my New Era out and look up the article again, just to make sure it was the same article. And, yep, it was. When I read it the first time, and was thinking it was so like you, I didn't put two-and-two together that Elisabeth and Lizzy could be one and the same. lol.

I received my copy of the New Era just last week. And, no kidding, when I was reading your article the other day, I thought to myself, this sounds so similar to lizzy16 and what she would do. Crazy, huh? I loved your article. It was well written.

Brokendoll, my heart goes out to you. All of us make make mistakes in our lives. We all have need to repent. One of the hardest things to do is to forgive ourselves. I know that for me, that has been the hardest. I've made some big mistakes in my life, and I couldn't forgive myself for the longest time. The only thing I could do was pray and pray about it and live my life the way I knew I should. I've finally found some peace--I will admit, not total peace, but some peace, because I've finally been able to forgive myself. Some of the decisions I have made in my life have eternal repercussions that have impacted my family, and I can't take that away. I can't control what they do. But, I can control what I do and how I live my life. Continue to pray. Continue to love your husband. Continue to live your life being the best example that you can be. Your husband's testimony may return. Pray for him. Pray that his heart will be softened. Pray for your children. The Lord knows the intent of your heart. He knows of your sorrows. He is pleased that you have repented. Someday, things will all work out. We would like everything to be fixed, now. But, the Lord knows your husband and your children. He knows what will bring them back into the gospel. They will have life experiences and people sent into their lives that will temper them, and soften their hearts. Just, don't give up. Do what you can to be the best example of our Savior and of His gospel. I'm sending you hugs!

This is just a short thanks to all our moderators on LDS.net. I appreciate your vigilance in keeping the anti-mormon propaganda off the site. Those of us who haven't been on these forums for long, don't always, at first, recognize the trolls. Thanks!

PrisonChaplain, I love your outline. I too wish I could have been there to hear it. I hope that the way I live my life shows that I'm a Christian. Thank you for the reminders on how we should live to prepare ourselves for Christ's coming.

I've been doing some more thinking on the original question of why there are so many divorces. One of the reasons would be that women have more options available to them. In the past, women pretty much were stuck. If they were in a bad marriage, they didn't have the options available to them that women now do. Women in the past weren't trained to work outside of the home--nor was it acceptable for women to work. They would not have been able to support themselves or their children. So, financial freedom for women has been a factor--which I believe is a good thing--not that I'm saying that divorce is a good thing, but it's good that women now have options. And with that financial freedom, the husband or wife may be more apt to leave a so-so marriage knowing that the woman can work and support herself. Also, the stigma of divorce is no longer a factor like it was in the past.

I've seen many people lose their testimonies when their testimonies were based on the leaders of the church. None of the leaders of this church have been perfect. They are men, just like you. But, the principles of the Gospel are true. Jesus Christ is our Savior. This is his restored church. In order to have the church restored, and have his Gospel here on the earth, He has had to use men and women. We are His tools in building His kingdom here on earth. Each person has their own personalities, and weaknesses and strengths. And because of the imperfections of man, mistakes are sometimes made within the church. Does that make the church false? No. And really basically, it comes down to this--either the church is true or it isn't. There's no in between gray area. The church is more than just a nice church that promotes family values. This is the Lord's restored church. The Book of Mormon was translated by Joseph Smith. And, if the Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith was a true prophet. I received a witness from the Holy Ghost of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. For me, that is all I need to counter the anti stuff I have heard or read. I don't know what advice to give. There are a lot of great scholars on this forum who could probably help you with specifics. My heart goes out to you and your struggle with your faith.

Lizzy16, that's wonderful! Congratulations!

Back to the op, why are so many marriages ending in divorce? I think most of the reasons have already been mentioned--selfishness, "me" mentality, etc. I wonder if the example of their parents might be another reason. If their parents divorced--then when the going gets tough, the example has been set, and maybe they find it easier to get divorced too. Of course, I could be wrong on this. I know kids that came from divorced families, and they have sworn that they will not do to their children what their parents did to them.

I agree "to everything there is a season". But, I wonder, what if one of his children or grandchildren were getting sealed in the temple--wouldn't he want to attend? I would imagine there would be some sort of accommodation made for him/her--btw, we're all assuming the president would be a man--it could possibly be a woman.

Aren't there quite a few Secret Service that are LDS? I imagine he could have endowed Secret Service go through the temple with him.

Or, the couple later divorce, and forget to erase or throw them away. Fast forward a couple of years, and husband is now remarried. He, along with new wife (me) are going through his old family movies and photos trying to decide what to keep. OOPS!!! and OMg, SO SORRY!!! Husband then takes old movies outside and literally stomps on them and lights them on fire. Unfortunately, the damage has already been done. I can see the humor in it now (29 years later). But, at the time, it was VERY hard on me emotionally.

Pam, I'm not sure of my schedule yet, but I'd love to come. So count me as a "maybe". Sorry, I can't give a definite yes or no. And Slamjet, I would not throw a fresh, garden grown tomato at you. That would be wasting a perfectly good vegetable--or is it a fruit? I'm more the "dumping a glass of ice-water over someone's head" type. Though, it would really take A LOT to get me to that point.

Miswol, I'm sorry for the pain you are going through. I don't have a lot of advice. Divorce is hard. And marriage can be hard too. I'll always remember something that my cousin said to me after she went through a divorce. "It takes two to make a marriage work. He wanted out, so what could I do? I had to let him go". You mentioned "I know I did the right thing". Trust you instinct. Right now you are grieving. You are grieving for the loss of your marriage, your dreams, and hopes. You loved your husband. But, it sounds to me that he was not living up to his covenants that he made with you. From what you said, you already gave him chances to change, but he has chosen not to. If he was unwilling to be committed to your relationship, even if you chose to stay, you would not have a covenant marriage. I'm sorry you are hurting. I'm sending hugs your way.

My husband and I take my grandson to church every Sunday. He just turned 8. My husband and I have purchased his Sunday clothes throughout the years. My grandson's father is LDS, but not active. He doesn't want his son to get baptized yet. I think it's wonderful that you want to take your granddaughter to church. In my situation, I feel like the only religious teachings and values my grandson is going to receive is from us. I'm just doing the best I can, and pray that the values instilled in him will last throughout his life. Teach her about appropriate dress for church. If you granddaughter doesn't like to wear dresses, will she wear a skirt with leggings? Take her shopping with you, and let her choose something that she likes.

My prayers are with you Dr. T.

It sounds like your friend/sister has had to harden herself just to survive. Wanting to be loved is a basic human need. Seems like she has chosen the life she has chosen in order to no longer feel hurt/pain from others. I don't know how you could convey this to her, but her Father in Heaven loves her. He is very much aware of her burdens and all the trials that she has had to face in this life. It may be that she isn't ready to hear this yet. But, she has loving family members (ancestors) on the other side of the veil, who know of her, and want the best for her. My heart aches for your friend/sister. She must feel terribly alone, and has dealt with life in perhaps the only way she knows how, by shutting most everyone out.