BadWolf

LOL... Here's a "bake your noodle" thing. Being a classic ADHD insomniac ... I've had several sleep studies done. Well, technically I signed up for 1, then agreed to the rest. Whoops. No pun intended. Here are the synopsis of my results: - Most of the time I am not asleep. I am passed out. No cycling, and no REM until I've "been woken up". At whi h point my brain does "fast" REM for about an hour. Then I TRULY wake up. - Sometimes I am in REM with no cycling for 10-11 out of 12hours, until I am woken up, at which point I shuffle through various Greek letters very quickly, for about 1 hour. - FOR BOTH ... I can be woken up at any point until the "last hour" and be instantaneously awake/alert. But in my rapid cycling hour, Im absolutely dead to the world. I can talk, move, etc... But Im very much sleepwalking & not actually cognizant of anything. ________ There was some talk about making it an actual study (ADHD sleep patterns)... Since they'd come across this a couple times in the past.., to see if there's a causal link... But I have no idea if they actually did. ANYHOW... When some people say they've been dreaming all night... They may be telling the straight truth!

Can't help with what you're looking for... But I love the question! I was actually just reading through my Qur'an this morning thinking of the differences post death of Mohammed & Joseph Smith Jr. Ditto 700 some odd years earlier post crucifixion. Im afraid that my OT is quite rusty, but also the little I know of Abrm, & others. I could posit a number of theories from an anthropological standpoint (LDSv2nd awakening), but Id love to read from someone who has actually studied & composed.

This so reminds me of the scene from Saved where the girl hits her head in the pool & thinks the pool guy is Jesus. Im not trying to make light... An affair is a betrayal that leaves one simply gutted. And, honestly, it was the first cut (nothing "more" than a kiss & professions, and nothing less than an admission that I was not first in his heart as he was in mine... The actual betrayal), that evicerated me. Coming to find out later the true extent was nothing compared to the first blow. Im tempted to send your husband to a forum (purely for those trying to recover from infidelity -either reconciling or divorcing- that I never throw up on these boards... Because its not really LDS-Friendly. The pain LEAPS off those pages. I DO take friends IRL there to read the "Just Found Out" forum when I find out they're considering an affair or skirting the edges of one. No lie, many have actually thrown up. People's pain is that visceral. But back to PR & infidelity. 1) I suspect PR when it coincides with desire 2) I suspect PR when it causes pain 3) I suspect PR when its someone else wanting me to do something I otherwise wouldn't. Do all 3 happen legitimately? Of course. But if someone comes to me, hands me an MP5 and says God told them Im supposed to go shoot up the school yard...? They're deluded at best, and evil at worst. I don't see a lot of difference in someone telling me God told them That Im supposed to break all my vows, hurt people who love me, and have sex with them. Both throw up instant "You're NUTS." And if I actually think it might be a good idea? Danger Will Robinson. Something is seriously wrong with me. Yes. Feeling wanted, needed, special, etc. can be heady (so can a lot of things). Im not willing to throw others under a bus, just so I can feel good. And I just can't imagine the Spirit asking me to sacrifice others purely for my own thrills.

Sometimes its worth being in trouble.

As you've undoubtedly gathered, by now, there are levels of marriage in the LDS Church. Temple Marriage / Sealed Civil Marriage (recognized) Vs Catholic Catholic Marriage Civil Marriage in good standing/recognized (what you're doing) Civil Marriage unrecognized (where you're at) The LDS Church only does not recognize gay marriage (all other marriages performed outside the temple or unsealed are recognized as valid marriages)... So there will be some confusion amongst your wife's churchy friends w/out a Catholic Background as to what you/she are doing... Because there's no good parallel in the LDS Church. ______________________ (because I have insomnia, Im jumping off topic here for a minute or 6) You probably already know all this, but Im sick of staring at my ceiling not sleeping _____________________ <grin> Theres actually going to be a lot of confusion on both sides of the street over probably the practical over the spiritual. I would lay money that the most ongoing "Say what???" will be the other way round, and will be the - Title if Bishop - Priesthood. Since most adult male members in the LDS Church are priests, complete with years of seminary, and then a (majority if not most) having served as priests full time (missionaries) for 2 years before returning home to start a "normal" life. - Relief Society (which appears to parallel CCS, but doesn't, it more closely parallels nuns/convents... If nuns married, raised families, pursued careers, etc.). That's the activity expected of members, by the by, that Annatess mentioned. All the duties of the church are seen to by its priests & 'nuns'... But we're IT. Teaching, outreach, charity, medical, etc... Everything the CC assigns to its priest and nuns. We take vows & make covenants (in stages, just with different names than acolyte & novice, etc.) & have a lot expected of us... Simply nowhere near as much as a Catholic priest or nun. Where a Catholic Priest may have a 80 hour week, we have a 10 hour week. Since we don't have a flock/congregation & the work is shared amongst millions of active members instead of a few thousand full time Priests (hundreds in a ward, vs 2-3 in a Parish). So its veeeeeeery manageable. But the vows are still in place. We are expected to act as if 24/7. < grin > Thank goodness we don't make a vow of celibacy or poverty, right? ANYHOW, I'm betting this will be the most consistent 'Say what / But why' because "her priest" will be coming over a couple times a month... But it won't be singular. "Her priest" will be one of dozens. But unless you elect to use Catholic Verbiage -I use CC verbiage when chatting with my family- there's likely to be rather a lot of confusion amongst your churchy friends. I highly recommend the use of CC verbiage as much as possible. Ex) My mum's cousin (Irish Catholic) came by the other week just as the missionaries were leaving. This is a synopsis of the conversation I had with her: "Who was that just leaving?" "Oh, I had my priest over for tea." (Brit Tea / Tiffin style). "That's nice. He seems a bit young, though?" "The LDS church sends all its new priests out to different parishes after seminary for 2 years. They rotate through, usually only staying with one ward/parish for a few months before moving on to the next. They're usually homesick & adjusting to all the change, so we try to invite them over for meals if they're not busy with parishioners / members in need." "Well that's awfully kind. Heaven knows new priest usually take about 10 years to live down the mistakes they make the first few months. Shifting them about like that lets them learn without all that wasted time proving to Mrs. Keene they're not the newbie they were when they first came out. I swear, boys until 25 have a hollow leg, though. And after 25 they're still trying to prove they're as fit as 20. Men. Theres not enough food in the world. I have it on authority that Father Donovan went to SIX Thanksgiving dinners. Still. Its nice to have your priest come to visit. The good ones all do." As we talk I usually start doubling phrases (ward/parish), until all my close family all speak LDS lingo as well as Catholic. But I try to stay in familiar terms with new people. Its a trick I learned from a Rabbi friend who had me kvetching instead of complaining (and getting all fahklempt, asking after shabat, etc.) without my noticing for MONTHS. It doesn't all translate, of course, but its a cool trick. (Hint: Temple is NOT Cathedral. All are welcome in a cathedreal. Temple is more like a Monastery that requires taking of vows to enter, or the closed off section of the Vatican where only priests are allowed.)

ETA... Sorry to old-post. I must have hit the wrong button on my phone! Or, not a rumor per se, but a Who's on First, What's on Second mixup. For many states, anyone working with Youth in an official capacity has to not only pass a background check, but also agree to random drug testing. While a lot of churches bypass this, through various legal loopholes, others do not (have those loopholes), or choose not (could, but meet state guidelines for a variety of reasons), or cannot (insurance, don't own the property, etc.). So it could also well be that someone's mom was talking over dinner about signing the random drug test consent form... And it telephoned out until it was misrepresented as to WHOM the tests are given to (in theory, as most random drug screenings don't happen).

Its a Catholic thing: understanding without agreement. She will essentially tell the church that she understands, but she isn't forced to commit to the same. Which allows her to take the children to another church (or synagogue, mosque, temple, etc... anything nonCatholic) without it affecting either her husbands standing with the Catholic Church, nor her children's. Think of it as informed consent without impacting agency. It allows interfaith marriages to continue practicing their faiths without attempting to either lie to god or pull one over on your spouse.

Webbing

Don'tcha just loooove online forums for "putzable" questions? Although, for the record, I don't think your Q was here or IRL. Hey, though! What's this "giving up" I hear? You like this girl enough to be thinking about asking for a Blessing (cap B ) but without one are just going to drop it? Noooooooo. At least ask her out. Doesn't even have to be a date. Invite 4 or 5 people over for pizza & boardgames (including her) if you want to diffuse the situation into a friend-no-pressure-thing. But ask her out. Do the footwork. Fortune favors the bold/ God helps those who helps themselves/ gotta have some skin in the game. Ask her, ask her, ask her!!!! Heck, consider it practice.

What gives me pause, is a little different. Paraphrase: Somehow stumbled into a discussion about Temple marriage? Im getting a general feeling of ambivalence from you that's making me wonder if you're REALLY looking at this girl as a life partner, future wife & mother of your children.., someone for whom you would be their best friend, priesthood holder, husband, father to her children. OR If be ause you've been dating for awhile, have feelings for her, kinda like her ... That you're doing "what's expected" or "the next thing" etc., but aren't really behind the whole idea. Marriage & family & another person's(people's) needs as equal to or greater than your own as a good thing in general... But not for you now, or you with HER, now??? Im just not feeling any conviction, any umph, any determination. Instead... Lots of kindas, maybes, buts. If you need permission to break up with her, you have it. Its okay to break up with a good person, that you like & care for. It really, really is. We learn from dating GOOD people far more than the dating disasters. Its okay for her to be amazing, but not your wife. Ditto you can be amazing, and not her husband. If you need permission not to break up with someone you love, respect, trust, & admire ... Because it means going against the flow for awhile, you have that, too. (And also a kick in the pants. Your wife SHOULD be someone you will face all comers to help & protect.) Key point: Your wife. Her husband. Someone you're not afraid of being made a fool out of, not hesitant to back up. Someone she can trust & be protected by. You in her corner, she in yours? Are you those people?

Feathers

One thing in my own life that I have learned is to be exceedingly careful in what I ask for. Here are some possible examples - Make me more appealing... What if said lover was born to be the caretaker of someone who is unable to care for themselves? Their perfect person is actually a quadrapalegic or stroke victim? Or what if the lessons she needs to learn require a spouse who is incapable of making decisions, forcing her to? Or any of 1,000 things which would fundementally alter who you are & what you like about yourself & your life? Do you really know her well enough to understand what you are asking God to do? Asking to be made right for someone else is a VERY dangerous request to make. You can look at most requests backwards. If someone asked x of you, and you COULD grant it, how would you go about that? - Braver? Means a series of increasingly scary things. - Thinner? Well, you could give them a disease, or take away their income, or cause them such grief they cannot eat well if at all. - More desireable? To a stalker, a cop, a reporter looking for a hard luck story? ... In general, if I can do it myself, I try to avoid asking for divine intervention. And if I can't do it myself, I also tread lightly. Because my general feeling (and experience) is not "What if God doesn't... But what if He DOES??? Am I willing to pay any price asked? In most things, the answer is no. I am not. In most things, I actually CAN "do something" in the "trust in God & do something" scheme. Im just inherently lazy, and don't want to be uncomfortable. Its easier by far to ask God to send the perfect person for me (or vice versa) to my doorstep... Than to do the leg work of actually being secure enough in myself so that Im fine being alone and not so desperate as to fear rejection or be hurt by rejection. And am out & about meeting / dating/ rejecting/ getting rejected/ learning/ moving on. If it were ME... Instead of asking for romantic feelings... Id be doing things that creat romantic feelings. Not as a game / ferreting out THEIR innermost desires and creating them, but inviting them along on my own. Otherwise, how are THEY supposed to know if they like ME??? Because, hard lesson learned, if Im not sharing myself... Im lying. Im painting a false picture of myself to someone else. You come join me in what I enjoy & I'll come join you in yours. We'll see if those line up. Be ause, guaranteed, after 5 years of marriage, no sleep for a week with a crying baby, bills stacked, etc... We revert to survival mode. Raw, basic, getting by. Who is she? Who are you? You REALLY don't want to be depending on butterflies & romantic feelings clouding your judgement 5 years earlier to mean that NOW you are the worst combo possible. Not that I don't pray, ask, thank, chat, kvetch... But Ive also learned to THINK, and rather carefully, before I bite off possibly a great deal more than I want to chew, much less swallow. Im not a priest, I don't give blessings or know the rules, either... This is just my own experience.

Things have been pretty upside down here, as well, for the past 2 years. I don't know if this is "right"... Its just what I do. - Spent 6mo in the hospital with my child... My son lived! - My husband fractured my skull... Not only did I live, but now I no longer have to be married to a jerk. - No car for 5 months (TheEx took out only working car, so I was "trapped" with a medically fragile child who had to go to the ER 2-3 times a week, plus apts, school, etc.) with no car... Busses, cabs, zip car, borrow, flag down a cop, etc. - No water for 4 months (TheEx was court ordered to be paying household expenses during the divorce & wasn't, leaving me thousands in debt. He also took the credit cards, I had no job since I had to care for a sick child 24/7 & then was rehabbing traumatic brain injury from the fractured skull, and then there was a State wide hiring freeze & I couldn't return to my old job out of state or country without losing custody of my child. The upside on that, by the by, is Im looking at a carreer change. Not teaching, and doubling my salary. Cross your fingers for me!!! I can go back to teaching in 20 years. Giving up teaching isn't a loss. Its a gain.)... But I could shower every morning at the gym, and the church let me fill 20 gallons a week so we could flush toilets once a day & have water for cooking & cleaning. Et cetera. Oy. And there is:was a LOT of et cetera. 2 years ago I had my dream job, my then husband was making serious money, 10 years of shoestring budgets being a young family with 2 college students for parents) was finally at an end & we were moving forward... Life looked really really exciting. And then the rug got pulled out, and Ive been doing a bit of a tumble ever since. But EVERY single thing that's happened? Has been a blessing. My son lived. I lived. TheEx is outta here. Im learning how resourceful I can really be. Do I get down? Durn straight. There have been weeks where I have literally done NOTHING but cry, drink, pee. That's it. My son at his fathers', and its me, a water bottle, and the couch (also bathroom). Ive cried so hard I can't open my eyes after 3 days. Im utterly terrified that TheEx will kill our son. While we were married, I could manage his temper, getting between him & our son. Its why I didn't divorce him. Because I knew the courts would grant him half custody. But I have to keep my son from being afraid, since I can't keep him safe. So I only let my fear out of its cage when he's gone. Fortunately, those weeks are growing farther & farther apart. Im learning to be stronger. Its hard, life, sometimes. But its also really, and truly, amazing. And that's what I do. Whenever I can. As often as I can. I find the amazing. I learn to be braver. Because falling apart is ALWAYS an option. And I hate that even more than I hate what leads up to falling apart. Its the only thing I CAN control. How I react. In what light I choose to look at things. What I learn. All my best from the trenches.

ROFL... Im glad someone ELSE went "A whale??? How is that an improvement?!?!" Duck the backhand! And now back to our regularly scheduled program.. As a divorced chick me'self... I could wish the Law of Chastity read slightly differently (after marriage instead of within marriage). I never USED to be irritated with my libido. Now I have to frequently pick myself up by the scruff of my neck and shake myself. I don't know for others... But sensory seeking helps moderate the Climbing. Of. The. Walls. - Music - Dance - Sports - Massage - Cooking - Road Trips - etc. Aka taking the sensory part of my brain out for a jog on a daily basis. I just have to be careful NOT to do anything - Fear based (life affirming sex cravings = defeats the purpose) - Quantity based (bad news for waistlines & good news for my doctor's new boat) For ME, quantity is often the hardest. I push myself until Im injured, or just keep eating. What Ive found is that doing things like putting Harissa on Corn, or Chimichurri on rice will give me the Zing! Im looking for without needing to change pants sizes.

I want props for NOT telling a joke < evil grin >. Word association thread Depressing First Amendment Fail Yes. Elementary school puns have taken over my life.

I suggest that feeling guilt & regret has either not been helpful to you, since you're right back where you started, or is no longer helpful to you in moving forward. IME true repentance is not guilt&shame. Its not avowals or apologies. Its not punishment or being forgiven. Its doing things differently. So that none of the above are needed.

Then, to clarify... In over 20 years of freely associating with Freemasons, not once has the spirit ever intimated anything the author purports. To the contrary, in fact. I work in a field which puts me into dangerous scenarios on a regular basis. I listen. I don't always heed, but I listen. Never once has there been any warning concerning my friend, her family, her order. The idea of the LDS church having any roots in Masonry, is quite frankly, comforting. As Ive always found the Masons I know to be learned, pragmatic, thoughtful, deliberate, & compassionate. In fact, that last is fairly key.

Error : Bad Command Null source

^^^^^ Or if you're wearing pants.

Exactly what is wrong with being adopted? - GlaDOS

It's similar to breaking an order of protection/ restraining order here in the States. The penalty is outlined in the initial issuing of the order. The courts told her not to do x or she would get y. She did x. She got y.

We go to DimSum. The staff has Mon&Tues off. The staff are old friends. I tip. A lot. (And exchange a lot of hugs, seriously, old old friends work there). Its Mothers Day, so its not like our lack of patronage would hurt them, but I know my friends... They would be hurt/offended we didn't come to their restaurant on MD. We've gone for 9:10 years. The 10th year they brought our favorites to the hospital (a 2 hour drive away).

I don't actually own a computer. Teeeheeehehehe. ((TheEx was/is a programmer. At one point we had something like 9 on a regular basis, and 15-20 occasionally. Including a Linux Box & something else that's even more "cool" (kewl?) 1337, whatever, than Linnux. Forget the name. ANYHOW, the flock of putters went with him. I have a phone & iPad. Hence some of the rather spectacular lack of editing in my posts & autocorrect. But I take something of a fiendish delight in not actually owning a "real" computer )) Okay, back into the spirit of the Q, it varies. A whole lot. Which means a question of my own: By time on the computer do you include: - Word processing (typewriter) - Photoediting (darkroom) - Movie streaming (TV/Theatre) - Kindle Reading (tactile books) - Skype (phonecalls) - Billpay (paper billing) - Studying (library) Etc. AND (this will really bake your noodle) if Im doing the same action NOT on a computer that parallels to a computer... Does it count? Since Im still sitting on the back of my lap?

"Go talk to your Bishop" has just taken on an all new meaning in my head.

Yep. One of my dearest friends growing up was a Daughter of Job, and now as an adult is quite active. As is her entire family. I went to school with her, I served in the military with her, I missed her wedding (Italy while I was 2 weeks past due pregnant), attend the baptisms of her children. I'll take 20+ years of familiarity with her, her family, her Order... Over 5 minutes with an author any day of the week.