Conflicted after Stake Conference

[classylady]

 

 

I want to help the ward, I want to be involved. 

 

But I don’t have a calling, nor can I take an “every Sunday” calling due to work.  I’ve tried talking to the bishop, but no calling has been assigned.  And there’s a dumb social taboo in Mormonism about actually volunteering for things (trust me, I’ve tried).

 

 

Jane, just a thought of mine on being involved and assisting in the Kingdom.  I have read many of your posts here on LDS.net, and I I have been uplifted many times by your comments.  I'm sure I'm not the only one that has benefitted by your insight..  To me, that means you are being a tool in the Lord's hands.  You may not see the results of your labors by being an anonymous poster on an lds site, but you have uplifted me.

 

Someone else has already mentioned that Saturday sessions of Stake Conference are usually directed to the leaders, and so the content may be more of the "how to's" on running the church.  Sunday's sessions to me seem to be more uplifting in nature, rather than the how to portions of conference.

 

When I find myself spiritually needing to be fed, the Ensign does the trick for me.  We all have our own individual needs, so if that particular session of your Stake Conference didn't give you what you need, find an article in the Ensign or a General Conference talk that "speaks" directly to you.  It has become my spiritual life saver.

 

[RMGuy]

Jane,

 

I too read your post and have been thinking about it.  I decided to write and share a bit of what works for me.  I share it just by way of insight and not by way of advocating that you do the same.  

 

I am what some would consider to be an unconventional member of the church, but I haven't always been so.  In some respects I probably could have been considered a "Peter Priesthood"  from primary well into my late 30's.  I attended all my meetings and tried to do everything that was asked of me.  I firmly believed that if the bishop asked me to perform a task that it was the same as God himself making the request.  Who could say no to that?  

 

Then somewhere in my late 30's, a few things happened.  I had a daughter that didn't quite fit into the typical YW's mold in the church.  Good kid - she wasn't causing any trouble or doing things that she shouldn't - it was just that she was kind of the proverbial square peg being forced into a round hole.  She didn't want to get married, have kids, or make arts and crafts.  She was (and is) more into welding, engineering, and mechanics.  I watched as the more her leaders tried to cajole her into stereotypical gender roles at church the more depressed and unhappy she became.  

 

Now here is the part where many may disagree.  And that's ok.  But this is what worked for me.  It was then I had a small epiphany.  The Gospel is about good news.  We even call it "the plan of happiness".  Hence, if it is indeed making me (or someone else) unhappy then something is slightly out of kilter.  I looked around and realized, I wasn't all that happy either.  I was doing a pretty good job of faking happiness, but I wasn't.  Not really.  I then realized that there is a difference (sometimes a small one and sometimes a large one) between THE CHURCH and THE GOSPEL.  They are, to my way of thinking, not synonymous.  The church is there as a tool to help members live the gospel, to build the kingdom, etc.  Yet, it is not the end state, is a tool to arrive at the end state.  

 

So I started to look at what I was doing.  I realized that for me, the best part of the gospel was the idea of agency and accountability.  I realized that if I was doing something "because the prophet said so" that I was abdicating my moral agency to him.  I had to take action because I wanted to, because I believed it was the right thing to do.  If I disagreed with a leader (from the primary president to the president of the church) that was also ok, because I was the one that would have to answer for that choice in the end.  So I better be pretty certain that it was the right choice.  

 

Suddenly, attending meetings wasn't something I did because I had to.  It was something I did because I wanted to, and if I didn't want to, then I had to stop and ask myself why.  If it was because I was being lazy or rebellious, then I needed to repent and get myself right.  If it was because I could do something else that would spiritually feed me better than the meeting, then I went and did that.  

 

In short I discovered that the gospel is NOT about obedience.  The gospel is about agency, but agency comes with a very steep price tag.  You must be accountable for each of your actions and choices individually.  It is a hefty yoke, but a very light burden to be born.  

 

Your mileage may of course vary.  

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

In short I discovered that the gospel is NOT about obedience.  The gospel is about agency, but agency comes with a very steep price tag.  You must be accountable for each of your actions and choices individually.  It is a hefty yoke, but a very light burden to be born.  

 

 

I came to some similar conclusions on my journey.  Thanks for sharing this.  

[Guest]

Our primary does always need subs (I'm pretty sure that's universal)... but my deep spiritual need is fellowship/bonding with adult believers, and that's not being a primary sub.  And yes, I know God works in mysterious ways, and turns weaknesses into strengths.  But, we're also supposed to grow in this life- to master and know ourselves, and I feel the deficit keenly.  

 

I'd like to be able to bring my strength to the ward- family history, member missionary, outside-the-boxness, gospel study, etc.  But... I feel frustrated that LDS culture says I'm supposed to wait until my over-worked bishop thinks of something for me.  What's wrong with me taking incatitive, and stepping up to the plate?  Other than the entire cultural bulwark against it.  

 

Don't dismiss the fellowship/bonding with the little children just yet.  I've been in Primary for 8 of the last 10 years and I have to tell ya, the 2 years I spent as a ward missionary was the least spiritually fulfilling of my 10 years worth of callings.  And, the challenge to break down very weighty gospel principles into something little children can relate to is quite an amazing learning experience that can produce massive spiritual growth.  Even breaking down gospel principles into teaching a children's song can be very spiritually fulfilling.  Singing time teacher is as much a  Gospel Doctrine teacher as the adult version.  It's in the way you magnify a Primary calling that really brings out the beauty of the gospel.  I have primary kids who are now adults, and some even married.  It is a joy to me to see them live their lives according to the gospel I taught them as little children.

[lagarthaaz]

Thank you lagerthaaz.

 

Our primary does always need subs (I'm pretty sure that's universal)... but my deep spiritual need is fellowship/bonding with adult believers, and that's not being a primary sub.  And yes, I know God works in mysterious ways, and turns weaknesses into strengths.  But, we're also supposed to grow in this life- to master and know ourselves, and I feel the deficit keenly.  

 

I'd like to be able to bring my strength to the ward- family history, member missionary, outside-the-boxness, gospel study, etc.  But... I feel frustrated that LDS culture says I'm supposed to wait until my over-worked bishop thinks of something for me.  What's wrong with me taking incatitive, and stepping up to the plate?  Other than the entire cultural bulwark against it.  

 

Well, once upon a time if I'd been called to Primary I would have felt physically sick at the thought of being 'stuck' with a bunch of kids for 2 hours every Sunday. My needs were different back then - so I do get where you are coming from. Having said that, in recent years I've been in Primary pretty much non-stop and strangely enough it's become my absolute favourite place to be. It's also turned out to be the place where I get to connect on a more personal level with members of my ward. 

 

There's nothing wrong with taking the initiative - talk to your bishop about your talents and interests and desire to serve. Yes he does have inspiration on his side, but he's not a clairvoyant and would probably appreciate getting to know you a little better so he can find the best way to help you as one of his flock. A visit with you may even be an answer to the bishop's prayers about a certain calling in the ward.

 

And for what it's worth, I don't give a razz about 'lds culture' - there's nothing wrong with you telling your bishop how you feel and what your needs are - is there a rule that says you shouldn't do this?

[estradling75]

And for what it's worth, I don't give a razz about 'lds culture' - there's nothing wrong with you telling your bishop how you feel and what your needs are - is there a rule that says you shouldn't do this?

 

 

Nope...  in fact I would generally say it is encouraged...  A problem really only comes up if after a person talks to the bishop that person expects to get exactly what they want.  Its been my experience that what we want for ourselves and what the Lord wants for us are not always the same. The poor bishop is usually stuck in the middle trying to fulfill both and keep the ward functioning.

[Daybreak79]

"Furthermore, it's not just my stake with this theme, but evidently ordered from the First Presidency for other stakes too (indicated by my stake president, and I've heard the same topic from friends in other states).  Maybe other stakes will do things differently but... this bothers me."
 

Our stake conference about a month ago also focused on Ward Councils; however, the overall message was to take the format of ward council and apply them to your family and start having Family Councils to help strengthen your family in Christ. And depending what is going on in your family the Family Council may just be part of Family Home Evening or it may need to be its own special family meeting if the family is tackling some pretty heavy stuff.

 

*As a side note we had a visiting General Authority at our Stake Conference so it may have helped us understand the purpose of talking about Ward Council and how they are a pattern for Family Councils.
 

Edited September 21, 2015 by Daybreak79

[The Folk Prophet]

In short I discovered that the gospel is NOT about obedience.  

 

And yet:

 

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. https://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1.3?lang=eng#2

 

 

That through his atonement, and by obedience to the principles of the gospel, mankind might be saved. https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/138.4?lang=eng#3

 

 

And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated. https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/130.21?lang=eng#20

 

You must be accountable for each of your actions and choices individually.

 

You mean like the choice to obey or not?

[RMGuy]

Not looking to debate FP.  Just sharing what worked in my life that brought me closer to the Savior.  

Edited September 21, 2015 by RMGuy

[The Folk Prophet]

I'm not looking to debate either. But what you're saying is confusing. You're saying the gospel isn't about obedience, but about agency. But agency is about obedience -- the choice to obey or not and the accountability one has if one does not obey. So agency is about obedience.

 

I cannot understand, nor have ever been able to understand, how someone can separate the gospel and agency from obedience. Nor can I understand why anyone would want to unless they were trying to excuse disobedience. I don't sense that's your intent, so I'm left a bit stumped.

 

The gospel is, as you point out, the good news and/or the plan of happiness. But that good news and the happiness that it is comes by exaltation in the celestial kingdom, which comes by the atonement and by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel. Obedience is the flip side of the coin. It is the other required part of the equation, hand in hand with the atonement. It is part of the good news. The good new is that because of the atonement, all we must do is obey and we may be saved. Obedience is a gift from god.

 

The happiness we are meant to find in the gospel is not about comfort or pleasure in this life necessarily. Sure, that is a side effect most of the time. Yes, we can find some measure of peace and comfort from the gospel in this life. But that peace and comfort is a means to an end as well, and is entirely useless if we fail to achieve the end of what the plan of happiness is actually all about. It is our eternal happiness with which the gospel is primarily concerned, not our temporal happiness. There are plenty of examples in the scriptures of faithful followers trudging through the misery of life and the burden of faith and obedience because they saw and knew of eternal things that made the trials here worth it. One could go through this entire life experience with nothing but misery and the plan of happiness would still be fulfilled if one chooses to obey the ordinances and laws of the gospel in spite of that misery. Their end would be, therefore, eternal joy. Whereas one could conversely go through life with great peace and joy and still utterly fail in the plan of happiness because they did not choose to obey the laws and ordinances of the gospel. Their end would be, therefore, eternal misery.

 

We need to maintain an eternal perspective when we consider the "good news" and the happiness the gospel brings. The happiness is a hope of salvation that cannot exist without the gospel. It is not about fitting in or being comfortable or happy in this life. Of course if we humble ourselves and are filled with the Spirit we can fit in where we never thought we could and we can find comfort and happiness in this life even in the trials that we face. But that is not the objective beyond the strength it may give us to carry on and endure to the end in obedience and faith so that we may, in the end, gain the true reward for which we suffer here.

 

It is also inaccurate to state that we abdicate our moral agency by following someone. This is, in fact, exactly 180 degrees backwards. Rather, we exercise our moral agency by choosing to follow someone.

[Blackmarch]

I need to vent.  

 

 The topic of all of Stake Conference session tonight was about the centrality of… ward councils.   Speaker after speaker.  For over an hour. 

 

(On one hand I think):  Barely mention of Christ in those talks.  Are we here to talk about God or not?

 

(on the other hand…)  It’s okay, settle down, just one off meeting.

 

Which topic was directly assigned from the First Presendcy (at least according to the Stake President’s talk).  I wish… I wish he would talk about Christ.

 

For the first time in a long time, I feel compelled to take the podium myself, to focus things back to Christ… but my talents for speaking is with the pen and not the podium.  And interrupting the Stake President would be rude. 

 

Really, “rude”???  That’s your excuse? 

 

We are not a consumerism church: we are not here to simply be spoon-fed a perfectly prepared sermon.  Rather, we are here to admister and serve each other in our strengths and weaknesses—even when that weakness a bad topic and poorly delivered. 

 

I blatantly disagree with more than a few things said here tonight.  They aren’t the Gospel, and franky I think he’s very wrong.

 

The Gospel is perfect, the Lord’s servants not so much.

 

I wish he would quote the Gospel, rather he’s quote the Handbook of Instructions for the last five minutes.

 

[break in thoughts]

 

I don’t feel like I belong here: I don’t “fit” for XYZ, and I’m unwilling to pretend to be something I’m not to “fit” (heck, I’m not even willing to wear make up to church!). 

 

But this church is my home, and if I don’t feel “at home”, I need to make it feel that way.  I am just as much here to be nourished by God as the “in” crowd. 

 

But I’m tired.  I’ve tried for so long…

 

I want to help the ward, I want to be involved. 

 

But I don’t have a calling, nor can I take an “every Sunday” calling due to work.  I’ve tried talking to the bishop, but no calling has been assigned.  And there’s a dumb social taboo in Mormonism about actually volunteering for things (trust me, I’ve tried).

 

[break in thoughts]

 

(All of me): I wish… I wish I had someone to talk to. 

 

I left the meeting early.  I couldn’t stay… I know this church is true, I feel it in my bones… but at points I hurt.  I want to go to church… but so frequently it hurts so badly.  I want to be involved… but get rebuffed.  I want to share… but have no voice.  I have questions… but no sanctuary to ask them.

 

Does anyone else feel like this ever?

lots. but then i come to my senses sooner or later and realise that most of it is my view on things. If something feels strongly out of place and is happening regularly i'd send a letter to the stake president asking for advice.

Cutting ourselves off from the church does not help nor will it improve the situation.

the old ship zion rarely sails calm waters.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Thanks Backroads, I spent today doing that.

I just... what's the point of going to meetings, if all of my spiritual strength comes from individual study? Part of me says its to help others in their walk with God, but I feel so barred from doing that.

I've asked the same question. I think we go because that is the manner which God has asked us to use to worship.That's what I tell myself...I go to show Father my love and that I will obey this commandment even when doing so is painful me. Edited September 21, 2015 by LiterateParakeet

[askandanswer]

Thanks Backroads, I spent today doing that.  

 

I just... what's the point of going to meetings, if all of my spiritual strength comes from individual study?  Part of me says its to help others in their walk with God, but I feel so barred from doing that.

 Feeling barred from helping others in their walk with God? That sounds like a curious and unusual kind of sentiment. I wonder where that is coming from? We all need help, and many of us will gratefully receive it from wherever it comes.

[Anddenex]

You mean like the choice to obey or not?

 

My sentiments exactly, Abraham 3: 25-26, specifying this earth is a time of testing, testing to see if we will do all God has commanded.

 

Obedience is the first law in heaven; however, I am fond of Elder Bednar's remarks regarding "becoming," and Moroni 10: 32:33 is evidence I put forth that our moral agency was given for us to "become."  There are many who obey, and have not reached the concept of becoming.

[The Folk Prophet]

Obedience is the first law in heaven; however, I am fond of Elder Bednar's remarks regarding "becoming," and Moroni 10: 32:33 is evidence I put forth that our moral agency was given for us to "become."  There are many who obey, and have not reached the concept of becoming.

 

That is only true if they are not fully obeying. There is not principle of the gospel that does not fall under obedience, and there is not falling short of any principle of the gospel that does not fall under obedience.

 

Obedience is the means whereby we become.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I am fond of Elder Bednar's remarks regarding "becoming," and Moroni 10: 32:33 is evidence I put forth that our moral agency was given for us to "become."  There are many who obey, and have not reached the concept of becoming.

 

Thanks for this.  I'll have to read that talk again.  :) 

[james12]

The happiness we are meant to find in the gospel is not about comfort or pleasure in this life necessarily. Sure, that is a side effect most of the time. Yes, we can find some measure of peace and comfort from the gospel in this life. But that peace and comfort is a means to an end as well, and is entirely useless if we fail to achieve the end of what the plan of happiness is actually all about. It is our eternal happiness with which the gospel is primarily concerned, not our temporal happiness. There are plenty of examples in the scriptures of faithful followers trudging through the misery of life and the burden of faith and obedience because they saw and knew of eternal things that made the trials here worth it. One could go through this entire life experience with nothing but misery and the plan of happiness would still be fulfilled if one chooses to obey the ordinances and laws of the gospel in spite of that misery. Their end would be, therefore, eternal joy. Whereas one could conversely go through life with great peace and joy and still utterly fail in the plan of happiness because they did not choose to obey the laws and ordinances of the gospel. Their end would be, therefore, eternal misery.

 

We need to maintain an eternal perspective when we consider the "good news" and the happiness the gospel brings. The happiness is a hope of salvation that cannot exist without the gospel. It is not about fitting in or being comfortable or happy in this life. Of course if we humble ourselves and are filled with the Spirit we can fit in where we never thought we could and we can find comfort and happiness in this life even in the trials that we face. But that is not the objective beyond the strength it may give us to carry on and endure to the end in obedience and faith so that we may, in the end, gain the true reward for which we suffer here.

Obedience is indeed vital to the gospel plan. I would never argue against it. But RMGuy is trying to explain some very important truths. It is not about disobedience but about how to progress.

 

If we focus on trying to keep all the commandments, every rule, we will never be able to do it. We will find ourselves frustrated and burned out. Why? Because we can never do enough. So don't, instead focus on being enough. We are only required to deal with what is in our limited sphere anyway.

 

Let me illustrate. When I was younger I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I would focus on finger placement and strumming motions. But progress was slow, I could not place every finger right, I would miss a strum and then mess up the music. But I kept going, learning cords and strumming patterns. Of course I needed to learn such details. However, one day I wanted to learn a particular song. Instead of focusing on each finger, instead of worrying about each motion, I began to hear the rhythm and the beat. In short I began to feel the music. In that moment harmony and feelings replaced rules and specific lessons. 

 

It is the same with the gospel. Yes, obey the commandments. But start to feel the rhythm, start to hear the music in your soul. The commandments are not a random set of rules. They are trying to lead you somewhere. So instead of focusing on each rule, on each and every action, listen to the message reverberating in your soul. As you do so you will find a center point, a state of rest. Not, free from doing, but precisely in the center of it. This is the purpose of all those commandments and rules. If you find this calm in doing you will see that you have entered into the rest of the Lord. 

 

Now, instead of focusing on obeying every possible rule (which you simply can not do), just work on what's in front of you and find the peace that comes from being. Find it over and over again, live in it. This is what the Savior did as he progressed from grace to grace. This is why his yolk was easy and his burden light. The is why Joseph was calm as a summers morning when facing his death. 

 

I testify this is the objective of all the commandments. The peace we feel when doing right in any given moment is the purpose. 

[The Folk Prophet]

It is not about disobedience but about how to progress.

 

We progress through obedience.

 

If we focus on trying to keep all the commandments, every rule, we will never be able to do it. 

 

You state this as if the focus has any bearing on the matter. Like if we "don't" focus on it we'll do better? Your conditional "if" is irrelevant and has no bearing on what we should and should not be doing. While it is true that we will all fall short, we are still commanded. And our focus should be on keeping those commandments, with diligence and full purpose of heart. The fact that we will fall short is irrelevant to whether we should focus on it, and not focusing on it does nothing to improve our situation. Moreover, this "never be able to do it" you speak of is why repentance exists.

 

I will grant that for some, changing focus may be a necessary or useful temporary psychological tactic. But that does not render it a universal truth for all. The fact that RMGuy may have found an approach that works better for him does not prove a truth. I actually get his point and see it as a potentially valid approach for some who are overburdened with unfair and invalid self-guilt and judgment. But to translate that to a universal "The gospel isn't about obedience" is invalid.

 

Let me illustrate. When I was younger I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I would focus on finger placement and strumming motions. But progress was slow, I could not place every finger right, I would miss a strum and then mess up the music. But I kept going, learning cords and strumming patterns. Of course I needed to learn such details. However, one day I wanted to learn a particular song. Instead of focusing on each finger, instead of worrying about each motion, I began to hear the rhythm and the beat. In short I began to feel the music. In that moment harmony and feelings replaced rules and specific lessons. 

 

I don't consider this analogy logically sound to the gospel. But sure, one can obey without "focusing" on obedience. I don't have a problem with someone who always does their home teaching even though they never consider it from a perspective of obedience. What I do have a problem with is the idea that doing my home teaching every month out of duty and a commitment to obey is somehow mistaken, living on a lower plain of existence, and renders poorer results than just letting go of it all and "being". 

 

This is what the Savior did as he progressed from grace to grace.

 

How could you possibly know this?

 

The is why Joseph was calm as a summers morning when facing his death. 

 

Once more, how can you possibly know that this?

 

I testify this is the objective of all the commandments.

 

I agree. However, I find nothing compelling to convince me that changing focus away from obedience is inherently somehow a better way of living.

 

The peace we feel when doing right in any given moment is the purpose. 

 

This comment I find utterly fallacious. The purpose is to gain our eternal exaltation. The work and the glory of God is plainly stated, and obedience was given to this end. How we "feel" about keeping the commandments is irrelevant. While I agree that we will find peace in doing so -- eventually -- the plain fact of the matter is that sometimes stepping up and doing as the Lord has asked us to is hard, uncomfortable, and feels very little like peace. The peace will come from it if we are diligent and faithful, yes. But even if it didn't, the purpose remains. Our exaltation. If we obey we will be saved. If we do not, we will not. A failure to feel peace from obedience will not change that.

[Windseeker]

I understand where RMGuy is coming from.

 

I don't believe you can have obedience without agency and even where you have agency and obedience, without love where are you? When I contemplate Lamen and Lemual the lesson I get is that we can do what the lord asks us "obedience" but if our heart is not in it, it does not change us or even save us.  

 

"if ye have not charity, ye are nothing"

 

Here is a great article that illustrates this and also ties in what Anddenex mentioned about "becoming". 

 

Laman and Lemuel: A Case Study in "Not Becoming" 

[Jane_Doe]

Obedience is indeed vital to the gospel plan. I would never argue against it. But RMGuy is trying to explain some very important truths. It is not about disobedience but about how to progress.... [etc]

 

 

James, fantastic post

Edited September 22, 2015 by Jane_Doe

[The Folk Prophet]

even where you have...obedience, without love where are you?

 

Think about this. Seriously. What's wrong with this statement?

 

What is the greatest commandment?

 

How can we have obedience without love?  We cannot. If one does not have love, they are disobedient to the greatest commandment.

 

The whole "love is on a higher plane than obedience" is flawed right from the start. To love is a commandment, just the same as to pay tithing, go to church, pray, study scriptures, keep the word of wisdom and the law of chastity, etc., etc.

 

If you do not have love, you are not obedient.

[Traveler]

Think about this. Seriously. What's wrong with this statement?

 

What is the greatest commandment?

 

How can we have obedience without love?  We cannot. If one does not have love, they are disobedient to the greatest commandment.

 

The whole "love is on a higher plane than obedience" is flawed right from the start. To love is a commandment, just the same as to pay tithing, go to church, pray, study scriptures, keep the word of wisdom and the law of chastity, etc., etc.

 

If you do not have love, you are not obedient.

 

For once I do not think I could agree with you more.  I believe that love is a discipline and acquired or an act of achievement.  All things good come through discipline and covenant.  If there is no discipline and covenant there is no divine experience of love.  It is a lie and a movement to apostasy to attempt love without discipline and covenant and will end in divine love being destroyed. 

 

I think too many believe love to be an emotion they cannot control - so they do not try or discipline themselves and the seed of divine love dies in them.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Obedience is indeed vital to the gospel plan. I would never argue against it. But RMGuy is trying to explain some very important truths. It is not about disobedience but about how to progress.

If we focus on trying to keep all the commandments, every rule, we will never be able to do it. We will find ourselves frustrated and burned out. Why? Because we can never do enough. So don't, instead focus on being enough. We are only required to deal with what is in our limited sphere anyway.

. . . It is the same with the gospel. Yes, obey the commandments. But start to feel the rhythm, start to hear the music in your soul.

Great post James. Thanks! Edited September 22, 2015 by LiterateParakeet

[Irishcolleen]

Jane Doe,  even though I am not LDS, I know that at times all our spiritual needs can't be met by church speakers- of any denomination.  God want's us to have a close relationship with Him and to spend time with Him.  When I have felt "unfed" spiritually I have stepped up my Bible study and prayer time.  It really helps! Especially if I spend time in my favorite books, John and Mark.

[askandanswer]

Obedience is indeed vital to the gospel plan. I would never argue against it. But RMGuy is trying to explain some very important truths. It is not about disobedience but about how to progress.

 

If we focus on trying to keep all the commandments, every rule, we will never be able to do it. We will find ourselves frustrated and burned out. Why? Because we can never do enough. So don't, instead focus on being enough. We are only required to deal with what is in our limited sphere anyway.

 

Let me illustrate. When I was younger I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I would focus on finger placement and strumming motions. But progress was slow, I could not place every finger right, I would miss a strum and then mess up the music. But I kept going, learning cords and strumming patterns. Of course I needed to learn such details. However, one day I wanted to learn a particular song. Instead of focusing on each finger, instead of worrying about each motion, I began to hear the rhythm and the beat. In short I began to feel the music. In that moment harmony and feelings replaced rules and specific lessons. 

 

It is the same with the gospel. Yes, obey the commandments. But start to feel the rhythm, start to hear the music in your soul. The commandments are not a random set of rules. They are trying to lead you somewhere. So instead of focusing on each rule, on each and every action, listen to the message reverberating in your soul. As you do so you will find a center point, a state of rest. Not, free from doing, but precisely in the center of it. This is the purpose of all those commandments and rules. If you find this calm in doing you will see that you have entered into the rest of the Lord. 

 

Now, instead of focusing on obeying every possible rule (which you simply can not do), just work on what's in front of you and find the peace that comes from being. Find it over and over again, live in it. This is what the Savior did as he progressed from grace to grace. This is why his yolk was easy and his burden light. The is why Joseph was calm as a summers morning when facing his death. 

 

I testify this is the objective of all the commandments. The peace we feel when doing right in any given moment is the purpose. 

 

In many points, your post is very similar to the talk given by Elder Wilfred W Andersen last General Conference when he spoke on The Music of the Gospel. Its probably worth another look, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-music-of-the-gospel?lang=eng Here is how the talk starts:

 

Years ago I listened to a radio interview of a young doctor who worked in a hospital in the Navajo Nation. He told of an experience he had one night when an old Native American man with long braided hair came into the emergency room. The young doctor took his clipboard, approached the man, and said, “How can I help you?” The old man looked straight ahead and said nothing. The doctor, feeling somewhat impatient, tried again. “I cannot help you if you don’t speak to me,” he said. “Tell me why you have come to the hospital.”

The old man then looked at him and said, “Do you dance?” As the young doctor pondered the strange question, it occurred to him that perhaps his patient was a tribal medicine man who, according to ancient tribal customs, sought to heal the sick through song and dance rather than through prescribing medication.

“No,” said the doctor, “I don’t dance. Do you dance?” The old man nodded yes. Then the doctor asked, “Could you teach me to dance?”

The old man’s response has for many years caused me much reflection. “I can teach you to dance,” he said, “but you have to hear the music.”

Sometimes in our homes, we successfully teach the dance steps but are not as successful in helping our family members to hear the music. And as the old medicine man well knew, it is hard to dance without music. Dancing without music is awkward and unfulfilling—even embarrassing. Have you ever tried it?

In section 8 of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord taught Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery, “Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart” (verse 2). We learn the dance steps with our minds, but we hear the music with our hearts. The dance steps of the gospel are the things we do; the music of the gospel is the joyful spiritual feeling that comes from the Holy Ghost. It brings a change of heart and is the source of all righteous desires. The dance steps require discipline, but the joy of the dance will be experienced only when we come to hear the music.

Edited September 22, 2015 by askandanswer