Sacrament Meeting Fail


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This past Sunday, I gave an Easter message, which is shocking they trusted me with that.  Additionally, I was also playing the "rest hymn" from my phone.  Jesu, The Very Thought Is Sweet, nice song.  You can guess what happened.  I got so wrapped up in giving the talk that I forgot I had to get my phone ready, like, airplane mode.  As it would happen, one of my daughters called and the ring went over the sound system, very loud, in the middle of a spiritual song.  Thank goodness I stick with phone rings and not "Baby Got Back" or something. It really was comedy gold.

So I was thinking that I could not be the only one to contribute to the sometimes comedy routine called Sacrament Meeting.  Go ahead, what's your story or what have you witnessed?

I will confess I used my phone to record my talk.  Wanted to see what I sounded like, which is close to a chain smoking dock worker.  But still, airplane mode, DUH!

Edited by slamjet
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4 minutes ago, slamjet said:

This past Sunday, I gave an Easter message, which is shocking they trusted me with that.  Additionally, I was also playing the "rest hymn" from my phone.  Jesu, The Very Thought Is Sweet, nice song.  You can guess what happened.  I got so wrapped up in giving the talk that I forgot I had to get my phone ready, like, airplane mode.  As it would happen, one of my daughters called and the ring went over the sound system, very loud, in the middle of a spiritual song.  Thank goodness I stick with phone rings and not "Baby Got Back" or something. It really was comedy gold.

So I was thinking that I could not be the only one to contribute to the sometimes comedy routine called Sacrament Meeting.  Go ahead, what's your story or what have you witnessed?

I will confess I used my phone to record my talk.  Wanted to see what I sounded like, which is close to a chain smoking dock worker.  But still, airplane mode, DUH!

I bought some ROOT beer for missionaries once. A man with some slight cognitive disabilities (not an insult, he was developmentally disabled) saw it said “He’s giving them BEER!!!” I was mortified but looking back it was really funny. 
 

happened in the hallways, outside of sacrament meeting

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Not sacrament meeting, but Gospel Principles class.  I was the instructor, and halfway through my lesson before realizing my fly was undone and my white shirt was sticking about a foot and a half out of my fly.   🤢   These were the good old days of me still grappling my way through my fear of public speaking and general social anxiety.  Everyone was mature about it, and I survived.  

Living through that, and a small handful of other cripplingly embarrassing things, probably did more than anything else to get over my fears.  Who knew there was life after turning that red?

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Mothers Day. The bishop let everyone know that there was some goodies for all the mothers in the ward but wanted to hand out extra goodies to mothers in superlative demographics. Newest mother, most grandchildren, and so on. Being a helpful* teenager, I tried to assist my mother to stand up when the bishop prompted for “oldest mother”. I think even mom was surprised when the ensuing POP echoed loudly across the chapel. 
 

*helpful and obnoxious are synonyms, right?

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I think that most everything that happens is funny.  Often when the wife and I argue I start laughing - worse yet I even think my laughing during an argument is funny - so I laugh the more and that my wife does not think it is funny is still funny to me.  When someone has a unhappy attitude because they are having a bad day - I think it is very funny how that they do not want their mood nor attitude changed - thus they get even more unhappy if anyone attempts to cheer them up.  The meaning of gospel is good news but it seems to me that with all the wonderful and great things that are such a great and important part of the gospel - that most people discuss the gospel with solemn faces -  it honestly cracks me up that they cannot even smile or show joy - specially if someone disagrees with their interpretation of the gospel.  It also cracks me up when someone becomes less happy just because others are happy.

Sometimes I think G-d puts me in situations or callings just for comic relief for himself and the hosts of heaven.  

 

The Traveler

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There was a bit a few years ago where they were going to lay hands on someone who had just been baptized the day before, but whoever was supposed to say the actual prayer had forgotten the person's full name and so had to ask it right in the middle of everything.

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Oh Jeez Traveler - we must have known each other in the pre-existence.

18 hours ago, Traveler said:

When someone has a unhappy attitude because they are having a bad day - I think it is very funny how that they do not want their mood nor attitude changed - thus they get even more unhappy if anyone attempts to cheer them up.

Heh.  We identified this early with my daughter.  Age 4 or 5:

Us: "Daughter, are you happy or angry?"  
Her [Through clenched teeth in a low angry tone]:  "I'm happy now leave me alone!"

 

Quote

The meaning of gospel is good news but it seems to me that with all the wonderful and great things that are such a great and important part of the gospel - that most people discuss the gospel with solemn faces -  it honestly cracks me up that they cannot even smile or show joy - specially if someone disagrees with their interpretation of the gospel.

This has always bugged me about the Hosanna shout at temple dedications.  Shouting Hosanna should be one of the most exuberantly joyful things we can do (with our clothes on).  So to watch a bunch of dial-tone-faced people try to ceremoniously wave a handkerchief around their heads in lockstep, chanting "hosanna to God and the Lamb", well, we saints know how to do solemn, but we sure do struggle with public displays of joy.   Buncha stuffed suits.  Y'all need the air let out of yourselves.  This ain't the solemn assembly part of things.

 

Edited by NeuroTypical
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5 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

So to watch a bunch of dial-tone-faced people try to ceremoniously wave a handkerchief around their heads in lockstep, chanting "hosanna to God and the Lamb", well, we saints know how to do solemn, but we sure do struggle with public displays of joy.   Buncha stuffed suits.  Y'all need the air let out of yourselves.  This ain't the solemn assembly part of things.

Nah. Rejoicing need not be exuberant. Our society, indeed the world in general, has forgotten the practice--I would say even the meaning-- of reverence.

A joyful shout is not the vulgar whooping and stomping of a football game, such as we shamefully witnessed in years past when new temples were announced. In that case, God's senior apostle had to stop the practice by firmly and explicitly (if gently) telling the members of the cheering crowd to knock it off and to treat sacred things as sacred. Shameful, indeed. Of all the people in the world, we should be the first to recognize holy things and to treat them with holiness.

Edited by Vort
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Premier Radio Networks, which is affiliated with iHeart Media, has acquired the rights to the classic 1970s and 1980s episodes of "American Top 40 With Casey Kasem" (apparently, the episodes that had Shadoe Stevens as host are a separate license they don't have). KBGO-FM, a classic top 40 station out of Waco, airs both back-to-back on Sunday mornings from 7 AM to 2 PM local. 

Because of a number of stress and anxiety-related issues I have, what I now do is use my smart phone to stream the shows, keeping an ear bud in one ear during church in a fashion that looks like some sort of Bluetooth or other attachment. 

Not only does it sometimes happen where the songs and long-distance dedications sync up with the lesson of the day or the sacrament talks, the branch president has noticed how even though I'm only "half" listening to everything I'm a lot more on the ball about some things - like taking down sacrament and cleaning the trays - than many of the younger brethren, who either go straight to Sunday school or spend time talking. 

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1 hour ago, Vort said:

Nah. Rejoicing need not be exuberant. Our society, indeed the world in general, has forgotten the practice--I would say even the meaning-- of reverence.

A joyful shout is not the vulgar whooping and stomping of a football game, such as we shamefully witnessed in years past when new temples were announced. In that case, God's senior apostle had to stop the practice by firmly and explicitly (if gently) telling the members of the cheering crowd to knock it off and to treat sacred things as sacred. Shameful, indeed. Of all the people in the world, we should be the first to recognize holy things and to treat them with holiness.

Personally I have a difficult time showing emotions in public - often in private as well.  But I am inclined to believe that such solemness is a learned (acquired) behavior based mostly from traditions.   That in the sacred confines of the presents of G-d; the most noble and righteous spirits SHOUTED for joy concerning the sacred plan of salvation.  Jesus indicated that if humans constrain their joy concerning the most sacred things - that dumb rocks would rejoice.

 

The Traveler

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10 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

Oh Jeez Traveler - we must have known each other in the pre-existence.

Heh.  We identified this early with my daughter.  Age 4 or 5:

Us: "Daughter, are you happy or angry?"  
Her [Through clenched teeth in a low angry tone]:  "I'm happy now leave me alone!"

 

This has always bugged me about the Hosanna shout at temple dedications.  Shouting Hosanna should be one of the most exuberantly joyful things we can do (with our clothes on).  So to watch a bunch of dial-tone-faced people try to ceremoniously wave a handkerchief around their heads in lockstep, chanting "hosanna to God and the Lamb", well, we saints know how to do solemn, but we sure do struggle with public displays of joy.   Buncha stuffed suits.  Y'all need the air let out of yourselves.  This ain't the solemn assembly part of things.

 

It might just be a personality thing. 
 

But…


Who is the loudest, silliest and happiest character in maybe all of Narnia? Right, Lucy. 
 

Who is closest to Aslan, and who is the first to meet him out of the Pevensie children each time He shows up in Narnia?  Right, Lucy. 
 

Edited by LDSGator
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I was teaching my daughter the story of Jesus’ betrayal this last week. We were acting it out with a bunch of toys and her playing the part of Jesus. 

The Pharases toys came up to Judas and said “we want to hurt and kill Jesus!  If you show us who he is, we’ll give you 20 cents.”

Daughter’s hand shot in enthusiasticly in the air. “I want 20 cents, I’m Jesus!  Mommy can I have 20 cents?”

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This is one of those stories that I'm not 100% sure is real, but I picked it up on my mission. Sharing horror stories of things that happened (particularly in testimony meetings) when we had investigators visiting, and most of us were sharing stories of weird and/or "deep" doctrine being shared that caused us some explaining to do with our investigators, one of my fellow missionaries shared the following story:

While sitting there listening to a sister's remarks, this is essentially the dialogue that follows -

Sister (at pulpit sobbing): ... this always happens to me, I start to get emotional and can't speak clearly. I'm such a big boob!

Bishop (trying to console her, a little too close to the mic): That's alright, sister, the Bishop likes big boobs.

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On 4/23/2022 at 5:01 PM, SpiritDragon said:

Sister (at pulpit sobbing): ... this always happens to me, I start to get emotional and can't speak clearly. I'm such a big boob!

Bishop (trying to console her, a little too close to the mic): That's alright, sister, the Bishop likes big boobs.

 

Open mouth and insert foot.  Ouch.

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