Pattern of committment

[NeuroTypical]

Help a guy out - can someone define the pattern of commitment?  What is it?

I've read Mikbone's, Carb's, and JJ's commentary, I've done a brief google search that came up empty handed, and ChatGPT isn't touching it with a 10 foot pole.  

[estradling75]

4 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Help a guy out - can someone define the pattern of commitment?  What is it?

I've read Mikbone's, Carb's, and JJ's commentary, I've done a brief google search that came up empty handed, and ChatGPT isn't touching it with a 10 foot pole.  

The Commitment Pattern has four Steps

1. Prepare (with the sub steps of)

         Build Relationship of trust

         Help other feel and recognize the spirit

         Present the Message

         Find out how they are understanding the message

2. Invite  (What ever it is you are trying to get them to do)

3. Follow Up (Some time after the initial Invite)

4. Resolve Concerns (at any time in the process that concerns get raised)

Its a tool and like any tool isn't really good or bad... How an individual uses or abuses the tool that matters.

 

[Backroads]

2 minutes ago, estradling75 said:

The Commitment Pattern has four Steps

1. Prepare (with the sub steps of)

         Build Relationship of trust

         Help other feel and recognize the spirit

         Present the Message

         Find out how they are understanding the message

2. Invite  (What ever it is you are trying to get them to do)

3. Follow Up (Some time after the initial Invite)

4. Resolve Concerns (at any time in the process that concerns get raised)

Its a tool and like any tool isn't really good or bad... How an individual uses or abuses the tool that matters.

 

I dislike when this is done with MLMs.

[NeuroTypical]

Ah yes - a missionary tool.  Thanks @estradling75!

I'm currently being worked on by alphabet friendly acquaintances trying to get me to commit to being in our local pride parade coming up in a few weeks.  They're stuck at step 2 with me.

[laronius]

40 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Ah yes - a missionary tool.  Thanks @estradling75!

I'm currently being worked on by alphabet friendly acquaintances trying to get me to commit to being in our local pride parade coming up in a few weeks.  They're stuck at step 2 with me.

They clearly need help with step 4 in your case. It's hard when you know they mean well.

[mikbone]

[Traveler]

23 hours ago, mikbone said:

55 + years ago when I served as a missionary in the Northwestern States Mission – In our handbook with every commitment we were asked to obtain from our investigators, the missionaries were also instructed to be committed to do whatever was necessary to help and assist investigators.   I understood that our commitment to schedule, study, prayers and fasting for our investigators was part of our commitment.

What I was never sure concerning who was blessed more – the investigators I taught with my commitments and my committing them or if I was blessed for the opportunity of mine and their commitments.  I have not determined which even until now.

 

The Traveler

[mikbone]

5 hours ago, Traveler said:

What I was never sure concerning who was blessed more – the investigators I taught with my commitments and my committing them or if I was blessed for the opportunity of mine and their commitments.  I have not determined which even until now.

D&C 18:15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!
16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

In the above scripture, I’m pretty sure that the ‘one soul’ is the person himself crying repentance.  Followed closely by family members.

One of my older sons fulfilled a mission and was even an AP.  He has since fallen away from the church.  😕

 

[Anddenex]

In my honest opinion, I think the "Commitment Patter" within Church membership is like hearing in Elders Quorum, "Its the end of the month, please do your home teaching." Sadly, even with the change to ministering we still here this type of speech. We don't learn very well, and tradition is very hard to break. Case in point, let the youth lead out, and yet every week the youth are being told what to do. There is no plan by the youth (and the Church has been teaching this for many years now).

We all know the Commitment Pattern. We all know when it is being used. When we know something, and it isn't something we want to do, then it is very well within the natural man to push back. I'm not convinced this will change because people -- in general -- aren't aware of it. This pattern though happens in all forms and walks of life (especially sales jobs).

This brings up the conversation between force and invitation. I know of a member family who felt like missionary work was forcing the gospel on people, thus their younger children never served a mission.

I would love to see a more principle based commitment, and yet, without an invitation (or some pattern of commitment nothing will progress).

 

[Vort]

25 minutes ago, Anddenex said:

We don't learn very well, and tradition is very hard to break. Case in point, let the youth lead out, and yet every week the youth are being told what to do. There is no plan by the youth (and the Church has been teaching this for many years now).

My youngest is having a better Scouting experience than any of his older brothers, exactly because he does not belong to a so-called LDS troop. All (or at least most) of the other Scouts in his troop are indeed LDS, but the Scouting program is run as intended in their troop. The older Scouts don't drop out of troop activities at 14 years old. At 16, my son was the senior patrol leader, and at 17, he's the grizzled old man of the troop who knows how to do everything. None of my older sons really got to experience that.

My point is not to criticize our leaders, or even to criticize the Church membership that struggled for decades to implement Scouting in a way that it served as an adjunct to Priesthood training. I suppose my point is that, in this case at least, we don't receive blessings that are right there for us because we don't allow them to come. We get distracted by what seem to be competing priorities, result in a that the system doesn't work, at least not well. When we force a given program or skill set into a situation it was not designed for, we get poor results. I believe what we call the commitment pattern is an example of this: We take what should be a pattern of emotional maturity to enable sincere conversation and use it as a lever or screw to create what amounts to sales pressure—precisely the opposite of what we should be doing or want to accomplish.

[SilentOne]

This reminded me of the scene in The R.M. where Kirby Heybourne's character asks out the love interest.

Jared: Kelly, you know, there are a lot of people going on dates these days and, uh, seeing movies and things. What are your feelings on that?

Kelly: I love movies?

Jared: Golden! Alright! Okay, well, uh, will you commit to me picking you up at about 7 o'clock?

Kelly: Sure.

Jared: Okay, perfect. I'll see you then, then.

Edited June 6, 2023 by SilentOne
fixed typo

[Traveler]

9 hours ago, SilentOne said:

This reminded me of the scene in The R.M. where Kirby Hebourne's character asks out the love interest.

Jared: Kelly, you know, there are a lot of people going on dates these days and, uh, seeing movies and things. What are your feelings on that?

Kelly: I love movies?

Jared: Golden! Alright! Okay, well, uh, will you commit to me picking you up at about 7 o'clock?

Kelly: Sure.

Jared: Okay, perfect. I'll see you then, then.

When I returned from my mission and got back into dating it was my primary goal to step forward and take control as I was taught as a missionary – specially to control the narrative.  However, there was one particular lady at BYU that was forever a step ahead of me.

Me: I know we are both very busy in school so I will make this brief.  Are you free this weekend?

Her: No!  (Longer than normal or comfortable pause) But I am inexpensive.

On another occasion:

I knock on her door to pick her up for a date – she opens the door looks at me and says: “I don’t like you anymore” and then slams the door in my face.

I am standing outside her door trying to figure out why and what just happened.  Door opens again.

Her: But I don’t like you any less either.    Grabs be by my arm and drags me towards the parking lot where my car was parked while I am still trying to figure out what just happened.

 

Final note:  Our relationship was great fun but ended in the strangest most bazar parting.  I would say that we parted friends, but our paths quickly went such different directions we never crossed paths again.

 

The Traveler

[laronius]

1 hour ago, Traveler said:

When I returned from my mission and got back into dating it was my primary goal to step forward and take control as I was taught as a missionary – specially to control the narrative.  However, there was one particular lady at BYU that was forever a step ahead of me.

Me: I know we are both very busy in school so I will make this brief.  Are you free this weekend?

Her: No!  (Longer than normal or comfortable pause) But I am inexpensive.

On another occasion:

I knock on her door to pick her up for a date – she opens the door looks at me and says: “I don’t like you anymore” and then slams the door in my face.

I am standing outside her door trying to figure out why and what just happened.  Door opens again.

Her: But I don’t like you any less either.    Grabs be by my arm and drags me towards the parking lot where my car was parked while I am still trying to figure out what just happened.

 

Final note:  Our relationship was great fun but ended in the strangest most bazar parting.  I would say that we parted friends, but our paths quickly went such different directions we never crossed paths again.

 

The Traveler

I think your logical mind was being prepared for the reality of women. 😂