Vort Posted December 23, 2016 Report Posted December 23, 2016 7 hours ago, Faapefuoe said: I read somewhere that they almost went with an elefont. I think that would have been fontastic. What do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhinoceros? Less geeky answer: Elephino Geekier answer: (Elephant) (Rhinoceros) (sin θ) unixknight and Jamie123 2 Quote
NeuroTypical Posted December 23, 2016 Report Posted December 23, 2016 The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but the invention of the broom swept the world. askandanswer, Sunday21, zil and 3 others 5 1 Quote
SpiritDragon Posted December 23, 2016 Report Posted December 23, 2016 (edited) An indian chief was agonizing over a troubling recurring dream. The tribal medicine man asked the chief to describe the dream. The chief explained that he kept having the same dream in every detail except that sometimes he was in his teepee and other times he had a wigwam. The medicine man told him the interpretation of this dream was simple, "you're two tents!" Edited December 23, 2016 by SpiritDragon Jeremy A 1 Quote
Vort Posted December 23, 2016 Report Posted December 23, 2016 The lamest of lame jokes: An Indian chief took three wives. To the first, he gave a buffalo hide. To the second, he gave a deer hide. But for the third, his favorite, he sent a brave far away, across land and water, to retrieve the rare and highly coveted hide of the hippopotamus. Within a year, the first two squaws had each borne the Indian chief a son. In their honor, they were moved into a spacious, comfortable tepee. The third squaw, though childless, was also moved into another spacious tepee. The first two squaws complained bitterly of this inequity: They, who had borne sons for the chief, had to share a tent, while the third and childless squaw got one to herself. So the chief explained: "The sons of the squaws of the two hides are equal to the squaw of the hippopotamus." Quote
SpiritDragon Posted December 23, 2016 Report Posted December 23, 2016 You're right Vort that's a wonderful awful joke. It reminded me of this (cough, sputter) *gem* There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't! Sunday21 and Jeremy A 1 1 Quote
NeuroTypical Posted December 23, 2016 Report Posted December 23, 2016 There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who count in binary and those who don't! unixknight, Jeremy A, Vort and 1 other 3 1 Quote
Vort Posted December 24, 2016 Report Posted December 24, 2016 (edited) On 12/23/2016 at 3:44 PM, NeuroTypical said: There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who count in binary and those who don't! There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who count in binary, those who count in trinary, those who count in quaternary, those who count in decimal, those who count in hexadecimal, those who can't count, and those who realize that the statement "There are 10 types of people in this world" can be followed by a list of any number N of items where N represents the base of the numbering system under consideration. But that's not really a joke, and it's not especially funny, except in a sort of meta and perhaps ironic way. So maybe it counts. It counts! Get it? Ha ha ha! I'm such a riot. Edited February 13, 2017 by Vort Jeremy A 1 Quote
zil Posted December 24, 2016 Author Report Posted December 24, 2016 38 minutes ago, Vort said: It counts! Get it? Ha ha ha! I'm such a riot nerd. There. I corrected it for you. Sunday21 and unixknight 2 Quote
Guest Posted December 24, 2016 Report Posted December 24, 2016 22 hours ago, Vort said: What do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhinoceros? Less geeky answer: Elephino Geekier answer: (Elephant) (Rhinoceros) (sin θ) I think only a handful of people would get that. But I'm here for you, bro. Quote
Still_Small_Voice Posted December 24, 2016 Report Posted December 24, 2016 "Three cows is many," he said to the other man. "But not enough. I will pay 8 cows for Mohanna." Quote
Guest Posted December 24, 2016 Report Posted December 24, 2016 21 hours ago, Vort said: "The sons of the squaws of the two hides are equal to the squaw of the hippopotamus." Yet another that few are likely to get. Quote
askandanswer Posted December 24, 2016 Report Posted December 24, 2016 A scout troop went on a camp to the coast where they knew they would see dolphins playing in the water. On the first morning, the camp cook yelled out to all, breakfast is served, for all in tents and porpoises. Quote
askandanswer Posted December 25, 2016 Report Posted December 25, 2016 When the wife of Boaz died, he became Ruth-less Jeremy A and Jamie123 1 1 Quote
askandanswer Posted January 3, 2017 Report Posted January 3, 2017 Mountains are not funny - they're hill areas Sunday21 and Jamie123 2 Quote
unixknight Posted January 3, 2017 Report Posted January 3, 2017 Here's a link to the longest and lamest joke I ever read. It's EXTREMELY long, but trust me that if you like lame jokes, it's well worth the investment in time. Quote
Guest Posted January 3, 2017 Report Posted January 3, 2017 You've all heard about Chuck Norris jokes. Well, there is an even geekier darkside to jokes in this vein called Gauss Facts. Here we go. Gauss can recite all the digits of PI... backwards. Gauss knows the exact location and momentum of a particle simultaneously. Gauss caused the big bang just by thinking about it. Gauss can trisect an angle with a straight edge and a compass. Gauss can draw a circle with a straight edge. Gauss can draw a straight line with a compass. Gauss once played a zero-sum game with himself -- and won $50. For Gauss, there are no indefinite integrals. The shortest distance between two points is Gauss. For Gauss, there is no such thing as "number theory", only "number facts". Quote
Guest Posted January 3, 2017 Report Posted January 3, 2017 Pick up lines only math geeks would get. Your sine must be PI/2 because you are the one. How can I know 100 digits of PI and not know the digits of your phone number? I wish you were sin^2 and I were cos^2 so together, we could be one. Quote
Vort Posted January 3, 2017 Report Posted January 3, 2017 16 minutes ago, Carborendum said: Pick up lines only math geeks would get. Your sine must be PI/2 because you are the one. How can I know 100 digits of PI and not know the digits of your phone number? I wish you were sin^2 and I were cos^2 so together, we could be one. We are like twins conjoined at the sinoatrial node: Two hearts beating as one. I wish I had thought of that 30 years ago, so I could have used it on my girlfriend before asking her to marry me. She would have been overcome by my romantic persuasions. Quote
Rob Osborn Posted January 5, 2017 Report Posted January 5, 2017 How about lame sayings Drugs, they will either kill you, or they wont. Im tired, said the first. Im wheeled, said the second. Im inner tubed, said the third... Quote
Vort Posted January 5, 2017 Report Posted January 5, 2017 Man who run in front of bus get tired. Man who run behind bus get exhausted. Jamie123, askandanswer and Jeremy A 2 1 Quote
Jamie123 Posted January 9, 2017 Report Posted January 9, 2017 On 23/12/2016 at 2:02 AM, CV75 said: A skeleton walks into a tavern and says, "Barkeep, I'll have a beer. And a mop." A man walks into a bar and says "ouch!" (It was an iron bar.) Quote
CV75 Posted January 9, 2017 Report Posted January 9, 2017 4 hours ago, Jamie123 said: A man walks into a bar and says "ouch!" (It was an iron bar.) An iron bar Iike this one? Seein' yera varmint an, all... Quote
zil Posted January 9, 2017 Author Report Posted January 9, 2017 Q: Why does a milking stool only have three legs? . . . . . A: Because the cow has the udder. Quote
anatess2 Posted January 9, 2017 Report Posted January 9, 2017 Rabbi 1 to Rabbi 2: I sent my son to Israel and he came home a Christian. Rabbi 2: You know what, I sent my son to Israel and he came home a Christian too! Rabbi 1 and Rabbi 2 to Rabbie 3: We sent our sons to Israel and they came home a Christian. Rabbi 3: You know what, I sent my son to Israel and he came home a Christian too! So all 3 Rabbis decided to go to Israel and figure out what's going on. Together they prayed at the western wall. Rabbis: God, we sent our sons to Israel and they came home a Christian. We seek to know why. God: You know what... Quote
anatess2 Posted January 9, 2017 Report Posted January 9, 2017 On 1/3/2017 at 11:30 AM, Vort said: We are like twins conjoined at the sinoatrial node: Two hearts beating as one. I wish I had thought of that 30 years ago, so I could have used it on my girlfriend before asking her to marry me. She would have been overcome by my romantic persuasions. I had a boyfriend who got me by telling me "I love you with all my CPU". This was, of course, a radical thing back in the 80's in the Philippines where only the nerds knew what a CPU is. Geeks can't even spell CPU back then. Quote
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