Thoughts on babyfeeding in the church

[Grunt]

1 hour ago, Maureen said:

Really? And you know this because you are secretly one of those women. Breastfeeding in a public location is not easy to do, especially if those around you expect you to do it so discreetly that no one knows you are doing it. Breastfeeding is essentially about making your baby happy and sometimes that happens in public settings. Men who think how you do Grunt are so ignorant about what breastfeeding is actually about.

M.

My wife managed to do so.  Maybe she's just a better mother than most.

[Grunt]

17 minutes ago, Fether said:

Intercourses and using the restroom  are natural too, but you don’t see people doing that in th chuch tabernacle.

I think I'm going to take a dump on the front lawn of the meeting house.  The restroom is too crowded for me.

[askandanswer]

1 hour ago, Fether said:

The only people I can imagine breastfeeding at church are people who are trying to make a statement and people who don’t understand social boundaries

I think we can add to this category mums who have hungry babies that need feeding. 

[Maureen]

17 minutes ago, Grunt said:

My wife managed to do so.  Maybe she's just a better mother than most.

Didn't your wife have twins? More power to her. How kind of you to not think your wife was bringing attention to herself when feeding her babies.

M.

[Grunt]

1 hour ago, Maureen said:

Didn't your wife have twins? More power to her. How kind of you to not think your wife was bringing attention to herself when feeding her babies.

M.

Because she did it with modesty.

[Fether]

2 hours ago, Maureen said:

Breastfeeding feeds and soothes a baby. You think that eating and comforting should be done in private?

M.

I think someone’s breast should not be hanging out at church. This goes for men too

Edited July 29, 2018 by Fether

[Fether]

1 hour ago, askandanswer said:

I think we can add to this category mums who have hungry babies that need feeding. 

There is a mother’s room for them

[Jane_Doe]

On 7/27/2018 at 9:51 PM, Backroads said:

So the Salt Lake Tribune ran an article recently. I shall not link it because I don't find that paper fit to line my hamster's cage. But I sort of watched this from the beginning to do those dreaded Facebook mom groups.

The story goes is a woman was breastfeeding at church. People complained, bishop asked her to stop, she said she wouldn't, bishop took her temple recommend away as well as that of her husband's for not commanding her better, yada yada. I don't know how much is true or exaggerated, but now there's a call or petition or something for LDS leadership to not condemn breastfeeding as sexual.
 

Now, I've breastfed at church. I've done it in the mother's lounge, though I don't always like to because it's tiny, tends towards crowding, and smells of diapers. Plus it has no speaker system. I've done it elsewhere. It's never been a problem. I am a tad rah-rah-breastfeeding and I lean toward "avert your own eyes as I'm trying my best not to flash you."

Ultimately, I don't know what really happened. While part of me is shocked at the notion the bishop took away recommends JUST because she was breastfeeding and JUST because her husband was on her side, I doubt it's so simple. I imagine a bigger hullabaloo went down that possibly did stem from this conversation.

I don't know if this is something the church should take a hard stand on. Is it a reoccuring problem? Does it support all cultures in the world-wide church? At the same time, is it a good idea, the breastfeeding being a few steps short of a strip tease, to mess with temple recommends?

 

I've been watching this story for near two weeks now, before it got picked up by news organizations.  This individual situation is an example of mega-fails all around resulting in a mega-fail result.  News organization and social media have majorly exaggerated/aggravated the original situation as well.  I think me/other peanut getting involved with this individual's situation only adding to the hurt/distortion.

So, backing up to the larger issue: if you got to feed your baby then feed your baby.  Yes, some Americans are going to have preferences on how you do it because that's American culture (which is you need/want to ignore it, that's well within your right).  Other cultures have zero problem with it.  

[Sunday21]

A sister today was waiting on the stand to give her talk.While she waited, she breastfeed her baby, She covered herself with a small stretchy blanket. No one batted an eye. 

Edited July 30, 2018 by Sunday21

[Fether]

4 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

A sister today was waiting on the stand to give her talk.While she waited, she breastfeed her baby, She covered herself with a small syretchy blanket. No one batted an eye. 

I think this is fine, it’s when there is no covering that difficulties arise. 

But one thing I ask myself is why don’t they pre-pump milk or use formula while out in public? I understand there are different philosophies and exceptions, but the question still comes to mind. Again, my biggest issue is women using exposed breast feeding as a way to make a point. 

[Sunday21]

12 minutes ago, Fether said:

I think this is fine, it’s when there is no covering that difficulties arise. 

But one thing I ask myself is why don’t they pre-pump milk or use formula while out in public? I understand there are different philosophies and exceptions, but the question still comes to mind. Again, my biggest issue is women using exposed breast feeding as a way to make a point. 

There are many tired people in this world ...and many of these tired people are mothers! They need one more thing to do like they need a hole in the head. 

[askandanswer]

I suspect that most breast feeding mothers, but possibly not all, are simply concerned with feeding their baby and are not really thinking about trying to make a point. 

[Guest MormonGator]

8 hours ago, Fether said:

I’m confused at the connection between my comment and the MeToo movement.

ANY comment a guy makes in regards to anything about a woman and her body is a dangerous idea because it can be misunderstood or taken out of context. 

[Grunt]

48 minutes ago, askandanswer said:

I suspect that most breast feeding mothers, but possibly not all, are simply concerned with feeding their baby and are not really thinking about trying to make a point. 

I believe you're 100% correct.  That's why most mothers throw a blanket or wrap on, or find a quiet place, and feed their kids.  Others pop out a breast in the mall and make a production out of it.

[Maureen]

5 minutes ago, Grunt said:

....Others pop out a breast in the mall and make a production out of it.

And you know this because of your constant staring? Quit staring, mind your own business and the world will be a happier place.

M.

[Grunt]

18 minutes ago, Maureen said:

And you know this because of your constant staring? Quit staring, mind your own business and the world will be a happier place.

M.

Take your own advice.  Your thinly veiled insults are uncalled for.

Edited July 30, 2018 by Grunt

[Manners Matter]

To me, the issue is about manners and common courtesy. Depending on *the culture you are in*, you don't do things that make others uncomfortable. Simple as that.

[seashmore]

Fed is best. There is already a lot of mom-shaming done to mothers who choose not to breastfeed (or whose babies don't latch properly, etc.) and there is a lot of shaming for feeding in public. I take the same approach to nursing as I do towards tattoos: I'm not comfortable with it on my body, don't care if someone else is, and suggest not staring or judging those who feel differently.

Those suggesting there is only one proper and correct way, place, and/or time to feed a child are not taking into consideration the variety of circumstances. Some babies become vocally uncomfortable under wraps, some mothers cannot leave all of their other children unattended or cram them in the mother's room, and many places do not have adequate breastfeeding facilities.

Edited July 30, 2018 by seashmore

[Fether]

@Maureen

No one is shaming breastfeeding, no one is calling it disgusting, no one is downplaying the importance of it. I think it is a fantastic thing. But I feel very uncomfortable when a women in a public setting is breast feeding. If there is no place for her to go, and for whatever reason she can’t turn away from everyone or cover up,and the baby is hungry, I will willingly embrace the awkwardness. And if someone starts attacking her for it, I will defend her. 

BUT. If there is a place for her to go to feed her child in private, I fully expect her to do so. I expect the same for human beings and bathrooms. If I see a person out on the middle of no where on the side of the road peeing, I have no problem. If I see a person peeing behind a bush outside a meeting house, I have a problem.

[MarginOfError]

6 hours ago, Fether said:

@Maureen

No one is shaming breastfeeding, no one is calling it disgusting, no one is downplaying the importance of it. I think it is a fantastic thing. But I feel very uncomfortable when a women in a public setting is breast feeding. If there is no place for her to go, and for whatever reason she can’t turn away from everyone or cover up,and the baby is hungry, I will willingly embrace the awkwardness. And if someone starts attacking her for it, I will defend her. 

BUT. If there is a place for her to go to feed her child in private, I fully expect her to do so. I expect the same for human beings and bathrooms. If I see a person out on the middle of no where on the side of the road peeing, I have no problem. If I see a person peeing behind a bush outside a meeting house, I have a problem.

The flaw in your argument is that you compare natural bodily impulses of adults to natural bodily impulses of newborns and infants. The former group has, typically, developed impulse control and executive function that permits them to plan and predict their needs. The latter lack such function.

I recommend any person who possesses executive function to apply it to breastfeeding situations. Smile, "you have a beautiful child," and move on with your life.

Anything else is putting your own social comfort over the survival instincts of an infant. It isn't a good look.

[Grunt]

1 hour ago, MarginOfError said:

The flaw in your argument is that you compare natural bodily impulses of adults to natural bodily impulses of newborns and infants. The former group has, typically, developed impulse control and executive function that permits them to plan and predict their needs. The latter lack such function.

I recommend any person who possesses executive function to apply it to breastfeeding situations. Smile, "you have a beautiful child," and move on with your life.

Anything else is putting your own social comfort over the survival instincts of an infant. It isn't a good look.

Nobody is judging the infant for being hungry.

[Manners Matter]

1 hour ago, MarginOfError said:

The flaw in your argument is that you compare natural bodily impulses of adults to natural bodily impulses of newborns and infants. The former group has, typically, developed impulse control and executive function that permits them to plan and predict their needs. The latter lack such function.

I recommend any person who possesses executive function to apply it to breastfeeding situations. Smile, "you have a beautiful child," and move on with your life.

Anything else is putting your own social comfort over the survival instincts of an infant. It isn't a good look.

And the flaw in your argument is suggesting it's the infant who decides where, etc. The person with executive function can choose to show some manners and be more discreet if at all possible.

[NeedleinA]

 

1 hour ago, MarginOfError said:

I recommend any person who possesses executive function to apply it to breastfeeding situations.

Do the teenage deacons who are about to pass the sacrament when the Sister immediately next to them pulls out her fully exposed breast posses executive function?
I would submit that they are no longer thinking about the true meaning of the sacrament at that point, let alone, "you have a beautiful child". 

 

 

[Fether]

3 hours ago, MarginOfError said:

The flaw in your argument is that you compare natural bodily impulses of adults to natural bodily impulses of newborns and infants. The former group has, typically, developed impulse control and executive function that permits them to plan and predict their needs. The latter lack such function.

I recommend any person who possesses executive function to apply it to breastfeeding situations. Smile, "you have a beautiful child," and move on with your life.

Anything else is putting your own social comfort over the survival instincts of an infant. It isn't a good look.

But why is it that some sisters seem to fully have the ability to cover up, use the mothers room or have pre-made bottles every time they are in public, but others don’t? The difference, it appears, is that one sister doesn’t care and the other does (or at least realizes others care and is respectful to them).

As I stated above, I would never beraid a woman for breast feeding in public and would stand in defense of one who is attacked, but I would still expect them to do their part and cover up. 

[unixknight]

17 hours ago, Fether said:

I think someone’s breast should not be hanging out at church. This goes for men too

I don't think anybody is pushing the idea of sitting there topless while feeding.  

12 hours ago, MormonGator said:

ANY comment a guy makes in regards to anything about a woman and her body is a dangerous idea because it can be misunderstood or taken out of context. 

Sad but true, though it shouldn't be.  

11 hours ago, Maureen said:

And you know this because of your constant staring? Quit staring, mind your own business and the world will be a happier place.

M.

Somebody popping out a breast in public is going to get noticed.  One doesn't have to be staring to see what's right in front of them.

11 hours ago, Manners Matter said:

To me, the issue is about manners and common courtesy. Depending on *the culture you are in*, you don't do things that make others uncomfortable. Simple as that.

It isn't that simple.  Different people are made uncomfortable by different things.  One can't possibly anticipate the hangups of  tandom group of strangers.