FALSE: When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind.


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As I sit here relaxing on vacation, my children chose to start a movie called 'Wonder', while eating their lunch.  During one scene a girl in the protagonist's classroom makes the statement, "When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind."  At first glance, such a statement would make it seem like the child shared heartwarming wisdom beyond her years.  The statement evokes an emotional call to acceptance which, if followed by a general populous, would lead to complete chaos.  Why?  Because the interpretation of kindness is 100% subjective to the recipient, resulting in the inevitably unattainable nature of living by such a precept.  True Christlike kindness is akin to true love, and would involve being right in whichever way is necessary to benefit the recipient.  Hence, Christ often taught in such a way that 'he who hath ears to hear [would] hear'; this was a kindness to those who had not ears to hear.  True Christlike kindness will result in presumably millions of God's children being gifted Telestial Glory, and yet being barred from dwelling in His presence.  Society as a whole is increasingly losing it's ears to hear; being right is increasingly more important.  The premise of the argument to choose kindness over rightness is flawed.  We should always choose to be right, but strive to do so in a loving and Christlike way.

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With Christ, being "right" was always done with love. Being human, imperfect, being "right" is not always accomplished with love/charity and humility.

Although, I think this question also correlates with the "Fools Choice," where we believe in our communication with others that we have to choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend, or between candor and kindness.

We can be both kind and right (truth); although, the recipient may not always view our kindness and being right as kindness.

 

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This is akin to the discussion on Becoming One.

In a marriage, Becoming One is not really just Becoming One With Your Spouse because that would mean the wife would either yield and just do what her husband wants or vice versa.  Rather, Becoming One is Becoming One With Christ - because, as you and your spouse gets closer to Becoming One with Christ, then you get closer to Becoming One With Your Spouse.

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Not sure when there's ever actually an either/or situation where you can only pick one and not the other.    I can see that sometimes it's not productive to argue your point, but you don't always have to argue your point to be right.

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3 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Not sure when there's ever actually an either/or situation where you can only pick one and not the other.    I can see that sometimes it's not productive to argue your point, but you don't always have to argue your point to be right.

The meme, in my opinion, points to people's acceptance of sin to show compassion for the sinner.  

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To me there is a difference between being right and choosing the right.  I've found that sometimes when people talk about "being right" they mean that they want others to know or acknowledge that they are right.  Personally, I think sometimes winning an argument is not as important as keeping a relationship.  

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41 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

    I can see that sometimes it's not productive to argue your point, but you don't always have to argue your point to be right.

You also need to be able to comprehend that how you deal with people matters.  Acrimonious and contentious people usually don't get far in life or accomplish their goals, no matter how "right" they might be. I see this quite often with religious people, sadly. 

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Was Jesus kind to the scribes and Pharisees when he exposed them as hypocrites? If so, then I agree we should always choose to be kind. But in that case, I say it's a false choice.

This sort of Hallmark Card "wisdom" is largely responsible for the pathetic condition of today's Americans, especially the leftists.

Edited by Vort
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13 minutes ago, Vort said:

Always be honest. Be kind whenever you can be so without sacrificing honesty.

I guess Fridays are good days to put words under microscopes.

"Be honest".  If I can be honest as I stand there quietly, not making any particular eye contact with anybody, with neutral body language not meant to say much of anything, communicating nothing to anybody, then I agree.  Sometimes shutting up is best.  Not all the time, but sometimes.

So if the admonition to "always be honest" means that there are zero cases where I should shut up, that I must always actively advocate for something from a position of honesty, then I must decline to adopt that phrase into my big pile of good life quotes.

For whatever reason, the older I get, the more situations I find myself in that seem best handled by just standing there with a dumb look on my face. 

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3 hours ago, person0 said:

We should always choose to be right, but strive to do so in a loving and Christlike way.

FWIW, the "but" isn't necessary. If you aren't doing things in a loving and Christlike way, then you are wrong.

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Loving and Christlike way to deal with moneychangers at the temple:

Image result for christ attacks moneychangers

 

Also, reference all the harsh language Christ used, calling people hypocrites, vipers, whited walls, etc.  Sometimes, verbal beat-downs can also be loving and Christlike.

 

Right?

 

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3 hours ago, Anddenex said:

With Christ, being "right" was always done with love.

I'm not sure this holds true when examined under a microscope. I know I just said the same thing to @person0, but reading it the way you put it made me consider further.

What is certain is that Christ always loves. But I'm not sure that translates to "done with love". Well...at a broad level it certainly does. But to the individuals to whom it was done...??? For example, the evil spirits cast into the herd of swine who then ran off a cliff. Was the action one of love towards those spirits...or those pigs?

Maybe that's a nit-picky way to think. But it got me thinking.

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3 hours ago, anatess2 said:

This is akin to the discussion on Becoming One.

In a marriage, Becoming One is not really just Becoming One With Your Spouse because that would mean the wife would either yield and just do what her husband wants or vice versa.  Rather, Becoming One is Becoming One With Christ - because, as you and your spouse gets closer to Becoming One with Christ, then you get closer to Becoming One With Your Spouse.

This is a whole thread unto itself. Not the spouse part, per se...but the becoming one part.

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2 hours ago, dprh said:

To me there is a difference between being right and choosing the right.  I've found that sometimes when people talk about "being right" they mean that they want others to know or acknowledge that they are right.  Personally, I think sometimes winning an argument is not as important as keeping a relationship.  

Winning an argument doesn't make one right though.

Being right is a factual state. One is either right or one is not.

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7 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

"Be honest".  If I can be honest as I stand there quietly, not making any particular eye contact with anybody, with neutral body language not meant to say much of anything, communicating nothing to anybody, then I agree.  Sometimes shutting up is best.  Not all the time, but sometimes.

In this, I think Jesus must be our example.

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2 hours ago, dprh said:

Personally, I think sometimes winning an argument is not as important as keeping a relationship.

One can win an argument or debate and yet be wrong.  Actually being right and choosing the right will never be never mutually exclusive.

2 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

Not sure when there's ever actually an either/or situation where you can only pick one and not the other.

I agree, that is part of the inherent flaw in such a statement.

1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

You also need to be able to comprehend that how you deal with people matters.

This is absolutely true! It is assumable that this is the primary intent of the coined statement, however, the statement itself does not accurately convey this message.

 

2 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Loving and Christlike way to deal with moneychangers at the temple:

Image result for christ attacks moneychangers

 

Also, reference all the harsh language Christ used, calling people hypocrites, vipers, whited walls, etc.  Sometimes, verbal beat-downs can also be loving and Christlike.

 

Right?

The answer is yes, absolutely!  Back when I first joined there was a similar discussion where I pointed directly to Christ's treatment of the money changers as an action of love.  I also recently taught my children about this event and that it was an action done in love.

-----

Interestingly, it turns out in the end that no one truly internalized the girl's words, including the protagonist.  Near the end of the movie the antagonist duo's science fair project explodes and the protagonist, a young boy with facial disfigurement, is seen with others laughing at them in the expression of excitement that they got what they deserved.  Based on the events of the film, it is clear that karma came back upon them in that moment, and rightfully so, however, laughing at their failure was certainly not the 'kind' thing for the boy to do.  Clearly he had not learned that lesson.  I find that most comical, especially given this was not real life, and not based on a true story!  Of course, that wouldn't have happened if the script writers had the girl make a more correct statement.

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2 minutes ago, person0 said:

Interestingly, it turns out in the end that no one truly internalized the girl's words, including the protagonist.  Near the end of the movie the antagonist duo's science fair project explodes and the protagonist, a young boy with facial disfigurement, is seen with others laughing at them in the expression of excitement that they got what they deserved.

Wait...you mean to tell me.......

Hollywood is full of hypocrites?!

NO!!!

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Guest MormonGator

I think your overall personality matters a great  deal. If you are always unpleasant and preachy, the people you preach to will chalk it up to Dave being Dave (pulling names out of the sky). Eventually whatever you say will be lost because it's how you generally speak. Like the teachers in the old Charlie Brown cartoons. The message gets lost easily. 

Just a practical thought. 

 

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13 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said:

Winning an argument doesn't make one right though.

Being right is a factual state. One is either right or one is not.

That was why I started my post with explaining what "being right" seems to mean some of the time and put it in quotes.  I think the quote in the OP uses this meaning when they say that being kind is more important than being right.  It seems to refer to interactions between people, not a state of being. 

I recall the many conversations I had as a missionary in the South with evangelical Christians about being 'saved' and other doctrines and concepts.  I was 'right' but some of the conversations got fairly heated and I did no good by continuing to be contentious in my stance and Bible-bashing.

 

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6 minutes ago, dprh said:

I recall the many conversations I had as a missionary in the South with evangelical Christians about being 'saved' and other doctrines and concepts.  I was 'right' but some of the conversations got fairly heated and I did no good by continuing to be contentious in my stance and Bible-bashing.

 

Great example. Don't be too hard on yourself of course, you were young and didn't know any better. Also, a truly contentious and unpleasant person wouldn't be able to admit it, they'd see it simply as normal. 
 

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