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Being aware of how other may react is wise. Trying to please everyone is foolish and bound to fail. There are three people that need to be happy with what you do... The Lord, You, and your Spouse to be. Once you figure that out you will know the right thing to do. Then do the right thing... knowing that whatever else happens because of that is trivial compared to getting it right

This is my desktop whenever I'm mad about a particular hated policy at work.

I rely on 300mg of Wellbutrin XL daily to be happy. But then, somedays it's not as effective.

Why ask for someone's opinion if you want to debate what their opinion is? Sure keeps me from wanting to give my opinion.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. You deserve soooo much better. As far as coping: - for starters, change your phrasing. You're not "destroyed". Incredibly hurt, yes but destroyed, no. A person who's destroyed can't get through this but you can and you must (for yourself and your son) - be glad that it's now and not later (after more kids, more years, more cheating, etc.) - find a good lawyer! - take one day at a time - create a support network for you and your child - stay positive as much as you can (thoughts and words) - negativity will only keep/bring you down - let this challenge serve it's purpose to bring you closer to Christ prayers and {hugs}

Do not let would-be gossips dictate how you're going to get married! If any LDS folks can't understand why you want to have a civil ceremony to include all your family, then they need something thrown at them (frankly, what business of their's is it anyways?). I really like Eowyn's idea of getting sealed just the two of you. Then you can come out of the temple, put on the big white dress, meet ALL your collective family, and have a giant celebration of the happy occasion.

As an Evangelical Protestant, the hell I believe in is much larger than that conceived in LDS teaching. Nevertheless, even if one person ends up in "outer darkness," we have to come to grips with this truth. 1. Do we believe God is good and just? 2. Does God prefer mercy to justice? 3. If so, is hell just? Is it good? Our post-modern-thought-saturated society rebels against the doctrine of hell. A good God does not judge, does not punish. No one can say what is really right or wrong. The good Buddhist is better than the casual LDS. Let God be God. Trust in Him. Whether the LDS teaching is correct (that hell is small, and we have many chances to avoid it), or the Evangelical understanding is true (that there will be many rejecters of God in it, and that there will be no second chances after death)--either way, if God established it, it's just. It's right. Heavenly Father will judge correctly. When we see as He sees there will not be one objection to those souls damned to hell--be they few or many. I am saddened that many of my fellow Evangelicals have abandoned this doctrine--or intentionally neglected it. We are so fearful of society, and its current trends and moods. Teach truth, and let God's will fall as it may.

One of our home computers has this background. I claim it's a picture of me and my wife.

Doesn't sound to me like "the Church" has a problem with anything. People live everywhere...some are LDS, some aren't. Where there are more LDS, there are more facilities, where there are fewer LDS, there are fewer facilities.

Amen to that! I've known happy people who have very little, but they are thankful for what they have. I've also known people who had everything they could ever want and were miserable. It's being thankful now that makes the difference.

Congratulations on being a member and finding someone you believe you should marry. I'll add a few words of caution. . . 1) One is never really ready for marriage; one can think one is ready, but until you've done it and passed through what it really means to be married you only think you are ready. And that is Okay and it shouldn't stop you from getting married; but it is important to recognize that Marriage isn't a "and they all lived happily ever after" fairy tale story. Marriage requires a lot of self-sacrifice, hard work, dedication and a certain amount of grit. It is well worth it and one can recognize it prior to marriage, but there is nothing like going through it personally. 2) Do not elope. IMO it can be one of the worst, most selfish decisions ever. It is one thing if you told your parents we are getting married in the temple and we'd like you to be at the reception, etc. they don't approve and you do it regardless. But if you elope (i.e. go get married secretly) expect the backlash to last decades. Do not be young and foolish in this regard. I have two daughters and one of a father's most cherished desires is to see his daughters get married to someone worthy of her and worthy to be his son, to be able to formally with the marriage ceremony join him into my family. Eloping is taking all those hopes, dreams and potentially cherished moments and trashing them. While the most important family is your spouse, the older one gets the more important extended family becomes you do not want to ruin the potential for a wonderful relationship with your in-laws or your parents. Being married in the temple is extremely important, one never knows what might occur in life . . . .and Satan does his best to prevent us from doing those things that God would have us do. Personally, I would vote for going ahead to do a temple wedding and have everyone involved in the ring ceremony (no rings are exchanged inside the temple); but I'm not you, I don't know your family and I don't know all the particulars involved. I do know someone who does though :-). Heavenly Father knows, and He will help guide you to the appropriate decision and as long as you and your spouse are in line with Heavenly Father's Will then it will all work out just fine. As a sidenote, this is one of those policy things the Church has that I really wish they would change. In many other countries, a temple ceremony is not legally binding, so the policy is for individuals to get civilly married and to then go to the temple-there is no year waiting period. I really wish the Church would eliminate the year waiting period for individuals in the US/UK who are worthy to enter the temple prior to a civil ceremony, i.e. as long as they have temple recommend interviews prior to a civil ceremony and both are worthy as soon as the civil ceremony is over they can go to the temple. Other then a trial of faith, I just don't see the point . . . but that is me.

Choose what? it doesnt just happen because we think it, what exactly are we choosing?

All passions of the body should be controlled. To just have the passion is not sin, to act upona passion that leads away from God is. If I am hungry during a fast I am not sinning. There is the passion of the body presented from which we can act upon, either take it into our soul or keep it separate. Whe Jesus was tempted by Satan, Satan used the passions of the body to persuade him to sin but Christ did not follow those passions. I believe after fasting for 40 days, Jesus body was hungry but He did not give into that passion. The attraction describes the chemical, genetic etc. carnal drive. Acting upon carnality can make it start to be part of the spirits desires and this is where one can deviate from the right path. Taking on carnality is done in part by acting upon carnal drives. David O. McKay; "The choice is given, whether we live in the physical world as animals, or whether we use what earth offers us as a means of living in the spiritual world that will lead us back into the presence of God. This means specifically: Whether we choose selfishness or whether we will deny ourselves for the good of others; Whether we will cherish indulgence of appetite [and] passion, or whether we will develop restraint and self-control. Whether we choose licentiousness or chastity; Whether we will encourage hate or develop love; Whether [we] practice cruelty or kindness; Whether [we] be cynical or sanguine—hopeful; Whether we be traitorous—disloyal to those who love us, to our country, to the Church or to God—or whether we will be loyal; Whether we be deceitful, or honest, our word our bond; Whether [we have] a slanderous or a controlled tongue. Whether a man remains satisfied within what we designate the animal world, satisfied with what the animal world will give him, yielding without effort to the whim of his appetites and passions and slipping farther and farther into the realm of indulgence, or whether, through self-mastery, he rises toward intellectual, moral, and spiritual enjoyments depends upon the kind of choice he makes every day, nay, every hour of his life." That is the difference between having a passion and acting on it.

One of its similarities is in the idea that here we have diversity, variability and inequality, as one star differs from another. Whereas, the glory of the sun is one and the glory of the moon is one.

Maybe this didn't come out quite the way you meant it to, but I can only answer the question as it is phrased--It's one thing to want to avoid hurting feelings; but the above makes your family sound like they have crossed from "hurt" into outright "manipulative". You and your fiancé need to learn to follow the course you two have laid out with the Lord; regardless of what the uber-Catholics or uber-Mormons in your life might think of your choices.

If I were friends with an LDS couple about to be married, and the wedding were to occur outside the temple, and either the groom's family or the bride's family were mostly non-LDS, then I would assume that the civil ceremony was being done as an act of compassion and generosity so everyone on both sides of the family could be together and united. I think it would be very nice. The unworthiness question wouldn't even cross my mind. And having a civil ceremony open to all might go a long way toward relaxing some of the tension your family is feeling about your marrying a non-Catholic. If all else fails, I have heard that some countries prohibit non-public weddings, so LDS couples in those countries must be married civilly before they go to the temple. You could fly your entire wedding party and guests to one of these interesting countries. But I do think your family has a point about going too fast. When young couples fall in love, they sometimes fall into the delusion that their lives will be ruined if they don't get married as soon as possible. I was in an engagement that went too fast and the train came off the rails at the end and hurt a lot of people. (Fortunately, we called off the engagement.) Different couples go at different speeds, so I can't say what's right in your case. I'm just advising you to think carefully before you make a big step and to listen to loved ones around you who might be wise in ways you don't yet see. By the way, your boyfriend's mother sounds like a spectacularly wonderful person. We should all have mothers-in-law like her.

Fun fact about last year's production of the show. The woman who played (single sister) Eliza R. Snow was 5-6 months pregnant during the show's run.

I believe we did see all of those.

My advice is to do nothing. There is no need to get married at 23. Or date. You still have plenty of time. I was married at 23 and if I could go back and do it all again I would have enjoyed bachelorhood for another decade or two. I got married the second time at 36. Trust, there is no shortage of single sisters. Quite the opposite. They will be blowing up your phone.

well every location has to go through "few members" before it gets to "many members". How fast that occurs for any given location varies. And that also has an influence on how many buildings are in a given area.

I usually, when someone takes the Lord's name in vain, ask them questions, like "I'm afraid I don't know what Jesus Christ has to do with you being disappointed in your football team's performance. Can you explain?" If he's 74, you'll probably have to do it again. And again. And again. Because he's had decades of time to build that as a habit. Or you could just tell him once and accept that he's going to mess up again and again.

You aren't helping him improve by taking his abuse, either. He might say he won't be changing, you need to say you won't be accepting it.

Some non-LDS thoughts on Dorians questions to LDS... 1. The first question is the one that would trip me up the most. In a sense, once we establish our religious/spiritual identity, the doctrine of who God is becomes something treasured, but not often thought about consciously. The vast majority of us traditionalists accept the Trinity, understand it on a simple level (3 persons, one God--distinct, but not separate). Modalists can quote a few passages that seem to indicate that it's all just Jesus, and feel real safe in their belief in one God. Likewise, LDS wonder at the seemingly contrived Trinity, finding their belief in the Godhead that is united in purpose to be more logical and easier to comprehend. My only counsel for this thread is that one should be thoroughly convinced, both by Scripture, and by the witness of the Holy Spirit, that what s/he is espousing is indeed truth. This is not a doctrine to be sloppy with. Know what you believe and why you believe it. Until then, investigate. Frankly, there are some traditional Christians that ought to call themselves investigators too. #2. The issues of LDS & "Blacks," is a sensitive one for non-members and investigators. Racism is such a negative condemnation in our society, Yet, 60 years ago, most people thought racial ideas were common sense. I'm sure I could find some terribly embarrassing quotes from Christian heroes. On the other hand, when a church declares itself the restoration of Jesus' church, with exclusive authority, right or wrong, we outsiders expect much. When we find leaders of such movements just as human as our leaders we are surprised.

Did you say something? I didn't think so.