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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/08/20 in all areas

  1. ANSWER: Because being fully and completely cut off from God and the Light of Christ is already the worst pain and torment that is possible. During a sacrament talk today, the speaker was discussing how he explained the plan of salvation to a colleague who asked if Latter-Day Saints believe in Hell. He did not address this particular issue, but I started pondering on the difference between our understanding of Hell and that of the traditional Christian world. I started considering what would be a simple way to explain to someone why it is unnecessary to view Hell as a torment of literal fire and brimstone; this thought is what followed. It rang very true to me and was, in a way, a small epiphanic moment, so I thought I'd share.
    4 points
  2. skalenfehl

    Etz Chaim

    Hello, beautiful people! I seldom post anymore, but I occasionally still lurk. Once in a while I just have to share something that I find meaningful. As some of you might know from my blog, I have spent a number of years studying the Book of Isaiah. Back about 2012 I was tired of not understanding 2 Nephi and skipping over it. Though I've read the Book of Mormon more times than I remember, I knew it was time to no longer take Isaiah for granted. After all, we read in 3 Nephi where Jesus Christ commands His people to study the words of Isaiah. Anyway, I have also begun to teach myself the Hebrew language and have bought a copy of the Book of Mormon in Hebrew. I love the poetry, parallelism, symbolism and other literary structures. As one who also speaks Spanish and German, I know that there are expressions that get lost in translation due to a lack of understanding cultures and thought. The more I study the Book of Mormon through a "Jewish" lens (once in a while, I interact with Jewish friends and acquaintances), the more interesting some symbols become. Nephi's books are particularly heavy in Jewish symbolism. One of the oldest symbols to the house of Israel is the "Etz Chaim" or the tree of life. Unlocking the symbolism as given to them and transmitted by them puts Lehi's vision in a new light to me. The tree of life is a physical representation of something that exists in the spirit realm. But to touch on just one aspect might encourage you to study it further if you are so inclined. 1 Nephi 8:19 And I beheld a rod of iron, and it extended along the bank of the river, and led to the tree by which I stood. 20. And I also beheld a strait and narrow path, which came along by the rod of iron, even to the tree by which I stood; and it also led by the head of the fountain, unto a large and spacious field, as if it had been a world. Traditionally, latter-day saints view the iron rod in terms of residential or commercial applications, like a hand rail. But in Jewish thought, the rod is an offshoot that extends from the tree of life that grows away and along the path beside the river of water to welcome and guide sojourners who seek eternal life. This "iron branch" sounds odd to our modern minds, but to Israelite minds, it's very apt. Consider Isaiah: Isaiah 11:1 And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots... Coming from the Jews, Nephi's use of the iron rod to represent the "word" of God is also used by the apostle John: John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. Stated differently, Yeshua HaMaschiach (Jesus the Messiah) is the Word of God made flesh. He is the Word, or the Living Torah. We hold to HIM along the strait and narrow path in order to obtain eternal life. I love the notion of holding to Jesus Christ (not just words from prophets or scripture) as I make my way through life. I just wanted to share this little tidbit with you all. Hopefully this fresh perspective excites you as much as it does me. ♥️
    4 points
  3. It sounds to me like even before introducing this other woman into your kids’ lives, there were some underlying issues that perhaps might usefully be addressed with some family therapy. My gut feelings are very akin with what @Fether wrote; but I also firmly believe that as a single parent one’s primary obligation is to one’s minor children, even if that adversely affects one’s own need for companionship. Yes, it sounds like your kids are being unfair and potentially manipulative—in short, your children are behaving like children (which they are), and like hurt/scared/traumatized children (which they also are). That’s just a burden we carry, as parents. They may be more willing to engage in some give-and-take if/when they see us sincerely ready and willing to do the same. Once the kids are out of the house, we can pursue our affairs of the heart with impunity; and if the kids don’t like it then they can go live their lives. Until then . . . I probably wouldn’t force the stepmom thing.
    4 points
  4. Be as conspicuous in your testimony as you can. Your children will look to your example, your testimony. Ask for a calling and jump back into serving again. If you children's testimonies begin to weaken/fail, don't let it be because of our example as the parent. There is always time, the Lord will bless you with the ability to juggle both.
    3 points
  5. The problem in South Korea is with a religious sect called Schincheonji (New Heaven New Earth). The group is very secretive and engages in covert proselytizing by sending members to mainstream churches to recruit for their Bible studies. Their meetings are for members only. They had sent a group to Wuhan province China, which returned and began to unwittingly spread the virus among its members. When it was clear they had a problem a text was sent out to members telling them to visit other churches so that they would not be the only ones blamed (a former member showed the text s/he received). LDS are very familiar with the tactics of "Antis." This movement has its share. Mainstream Christians are offended by their "sheep stealing" tactics. Former members say they were deceptively recruited and the the group is very controlling. Now, non-religious believe this group is the main cause of the rapid spread of COVID-19 in Korea, due to its secretive nature. So, take all this with a grain of salt. However, for sure, this is not a generic Christian problem. It is specific to this sect--a group largely rejected by mainstream churches.
    2 points
  6. It's quite interesting because Brigham Young's (and Joseph Smith's) descriptions COULD indicate what has been told that heaven for one person would be hell for another (eternal burnings vs fire and brimstone)
    1 point
  7. My friend, you have two separate, though intertwined, issues in play: 1. The doctrinal and moral teachings (and implications) of you remarrying 2. Your children's feelings about you remarrying. It's important to recognize that these are actually separate issues and should be addressed separately. In point of actual fact, #1 is a red herring. You know perfectly well that you are on solid legal, moral, and doctrinal grounds in remarrying and even being sealed to a second spouse. Plainly put, this is not an issue. At all. Based on the rather miniscule possibility that your children truly do not understand this, a simple review of doctrine—probably including the Doctrine and Covenants, the Church's sealing policies, and any number of General Conference addresses (in addition to the fact that 2 of the 3 members of the First Presidency remarried after the deaths of their respective spouses)—will be more than enough to establish the propriety of your remarriage in their minds. But as I said, this is not really the problem. This is the excuse for the problem, which is... Your children don't like the fact that you're considering remarrying. And THAT is what is really going on here. This has nothing to do with you betraying their mother. Nothing. Rather, it has to do with their perception that you're somehow betraying her or forgetting her or replacing her. If you spend your effort focused on teaching your children why you're morally allowed to remarry, I fear you will miss the heart of the issue. Do not concentrate on defending yourself or explaining your reasoning, unless there is a real deficit of understanding there. Rather, spend your time on talking to your children, heart to heart. Listen to what they say and how they feel. Repeat back to them how you understand their words, so that they can know deep down inside that you understand. Empathize with them. Cry with them, if they cry (or maybe even if they don't). Be fearlessly authentic. Show them that you honestly, truthfully understand what they're going through. Then, when it's your turn—which may possibly be at another time, but in any case after you have demostrated to them how truly you understand their feelings—present your own. Show them in word and in feeling how much their mother meant to you. Show them what a beautiful marriage you had, and how that changed your life. Show them that they themselves are the living representation of your and your wife's love for each other. Let them see how deeply your love and your commitment are for your wife. Then, and only then, you can begin to explain to them that, while you can never replace your dearly departed wife (their mother), you do not wish to live out the remainder of your days in perpetual mourning. Life was beautiful, is beautiful, and you want to continue to experience that beauty in your life. Beyond all odds and seemingly beyond hope, you have found a woman that might share your life with you in a manner similar to how their mother did. And that's what you want. Those who have studied such things have concluded that many widowed women remain unmarried simply because they don't want to be married again. Yes, they miss their husbands, but they don't want to bother with all the emotional and other issues that marital intimacy brings. In contrast, many widowed men seek to remarry precisely because they loved their marital state so much. They enjoyed being married, loved having a wife, and are typically devastated when she dies. Not only do such men feel deep sadness in their mourning and loneliness, they also feel incomplete, like half a man. Their efforts don't seem to mean anything. It's telling that the suicide rate in the first year of bereavement among widowers is almost four times the rate among widows (widowers 0.167% vs widows 0.0435%). Now, you don't need to share such things with your children. They ought not think that you're going to kill yourself if you don't remarry. But they should understand and even try to empathize a little with your situation. This is not about your first marriage's deficiencies. If anything, the fact you want to remarry is a testament to how much you loved your first marriage. Help them to understand this point of view. They may not agree with it—indeed, it's probable that they will not—but they should at least understand it. Best of luck to you.
    1 point
  8. I don't envy your situation, LewisC, and I feel for you. You're asking for advice on helping your kids understand that you're not doing anything wrong by remarrying. But if I'm reading correctly, none of them are living with you any more. 18 yr old left years ago, and 14/11 yr olds live with Grandma? I don't know how any of us can give you advice here. Your story just screams "there is more going on than getting remarried". I'm sorry.
    1 point
  9. They would still have perfect, immortal bodies and, from what we understand, should not experience physical pain. As for the non-embodied, well, they would yet lack the capacity for physical pain.
    1 point
  10. When one spouse looses their partner it has always been social acceptable to move on after a reasonable period of time. When a child looses a parent it is a grief that never ends although time and lessen it and the gospel can help with coping. Sadly these to events often happen hand in hand. This is not a situation that is unique to the church. In fact had none of your family been member you would still have alienated your kids by moving on . As others have posted you need to be helping your children cope with their grief and lost. Can you do this while moving on yourself? I has been done, but it is clear you are failing. When you see that your actions are failing that is a good time to stop what you are doing and focus on those that need you to find a different way
    1 point
  11. How can anybody really know for sure if something is good or bad? It seems to me that before you decide if something is good or bad you would first need to find out every single consequence of the original act and then all the consequences of every act that follows from the original act. One problem is that we can never really know when all the consequencess of the original act have played out. Once we have found out all the consequences and acts resulting from the original act we would then need to assign a value of good or bad to each act and consequence flowing from the original action. Then we would need to take the next step of assigning a further value indicating HOW good or HOW bad each consequence or resulting act was. Finally, you would need to subtract the total good resulting from the original act from the total resulting bad. Only after gathering all that information and making the calculations would you be in a position to begin making an approximation of whether any particular act or situation is good or bad. Clearly this is an impossible task. So we can either make a guess, which might be right or wrong, or we can pray about it. But i don't think that on our own, we can make a reliable assessment of whether any particular action or situation is good or bad.
    1 point
  12. In the sexology circles that I frequent, porn as addiction is much maligned. The therapists that I see talking about it frequently talk about why the user chooses to use porn (covering some other uncomfortable emotion or avoiding something uncomfortable or ...). I think you are wise to think about and talk about the issue and try to understand your own views and opinions on the topic before committing to marriage. Marriage is supposed to be for life -- for richer for poorer etc. -- including some sense of what you will tolerate and what you refuse to tolerate around porn exposure and use. You have every right to decide for yourself if and when this is a dealbreaker and when it is not. If you (and/or your boyfriend) are interested in approaches that lean away from the addiction model, you might look up: Cam Staley is an LDS researcher who has had a recent publication on the issue. Jennifer Finlaysen-Fife is a popular LDS sex therapist who has some ideas around porn use and integrity and such that I find compelling. Daniel Burgess did an episode with Saints Unscripted (I think they are still a thing on the main third hour page) on his views regarding porn as not addiction. any number of other LDS and non-LDS therapists and researchers who suggest alternatives to the porn/sex as addiction model. If your boyfriend has already tried and failed at the addiction model for porn use, he might try looking at it differently and maybe find success in another way.
    1 point
  13. Just_A_Guy

    Pornography Addiction

    The thing about laying down a timeframe (“you have to go x months without a relapse before I’ll consider marrying you”) is that you’re creating an incentive for deceit. If he makes it five months and two weeks and then relapses—he’s not going to want to start the clock over, especially when it’s so easy to lie about it. It’s not necessarily a bad idea to have such a timeframe/criteria in the back of your mind; but I wouldn’t explicitly tell him that; I’d just say “well, I know there will be good days and bad days and I expect you to work on it and I expect you to be open with me about it; and we’ll see how the two of us are doing in a few months.”
    1 point
  14. Rain falls on the just and the unjust equally. Why shouldn’t bad things happen? How does that help? Adversity can build strength. I think it helps to think about our lives as a series of problems to be solved. It’s in solving our problems we achieve our greatest satisfaction. Of course, some may be insoluble. The role of religion is to teach about solutions as well as give us consolation when things are at their lowest.
    1 point
  15. From where I'm standing, the point of your post wasn't about faith, it was about you seeking help in convincing your wife that you are right and she is wrong. You figure reimbursements for expenses doesn't constitute an "increase". Your wife figures her son is living with her and contributes $50, and that does constitute an increase. The two of you have a disagreement. From my perspective, this isn't about who is right, this isn't about faith, this isn't about tithing. From my perspective, this is about how you and your wife resolve disagreements.
    1 point
  16. Gravity sucked (<--see what I did there?), but Europa Report was released the same year and was actually quite good.
    0 points
  17. Well, you didn’t need to share it to the online world if you truly believed he shouldn’t have shared it with you. That’s not cool.
    0 points