Why is there a "crazy" switch with single adults in our faith?

[Ironhold]

9 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

I don't have a problem with people looking at Anime I really don't but when someone gets on and whines about not being married, or not being successful in their career etc,  and they use an anime reference I think that it is time to leave that stuff behind. 

I know that this board is full of exceptions, but in general women are not into cartoons like guys are. There are some but it is a small percentage. Now find an LDS woman who is into these things. It is a percent of a percent.

I overheard a return missionary in my ward talking about Pokemon. I asked him what a "pokemon" was (my mistake because I already knew) he went into a detailed description about all that stuff. I then asked him if he liked girls. He said that yes he did, so I followed up and asked if he was sure. He assured me that he was. I looked around and didn't see a girl with him........hmmmm.

That last anecdote makes it seem like you're questioning the guy's sexual preference. 

[Guest MormonGator]

\\

10 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

\I know that this board is full of exceptions, but in general women are not into cartoons like guys are. There are some but it is a small percentage. Now find an LDS woman who is into these things. It is a percent of a percent.

]

 "They" may not be, but part of marriage is acceptance. I've dated girls in the past who were not into the things that I'm into (comics, video games, etc). Some have developed those interests or better yet-joined me at comic conventions, video game stores, and art galleries. I've also done my best to get into their interests. 

LadyGator finds video games she likes, even though she didn't really grow up around them. 

I find it very troubling that some people just can't fathom that you can enjoy video games, board games, anime -and drive a nice car (I do) live in your own home (I do) and have an advanced college degree (I do). 

[Guest MormonGator]

\\

10 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

\I know that this board is full of exceptions, but in general women are not into cartoons like guys are. There are some but it is a small percentage. Now find an LDS woman who is into these things. It is a percent of a percent.

]

 "They" may not be, but part of marriage is acceptance. I've dated girls in the past who were not into the things that I'm into (comics, video games, etc). Some have developed those interests or better yet-joined me at comic conventions, video game stores, and art galleries. I've also done my best to get into their interests. 

LadyGator finds video games she likes, even though she didn't really grow up around them. 

For some reason I find it very troubling that some people just can't fathom that you can enjoy video games, board games, anime -and drive a nice car (I do) live in your own home (I do) and have an advanced college degree (I do) and be a loyal priest holder.  

Edited March 20, 2016 by MormonGator

[zil]

50 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

For some reason I find it very troubling that some people just can't fathom that you can enjoy video games, board games, anime -and drive a nice car (I do) live in your own home (I do) and have an advanced college degree (I do) and be a loyal priest holder.  

I don't really think that's what omega was saying.  There's a large segment of 20- and 30-something males living in their parents' (or in one case I know, sister's) basements doing little but minimum wage work and playing video games.  My take was that omega was saying if that's you, give it up and grow up.  If you've already proven yourself a grown up (by having a steady career with a future, by being self-sufficient enough to own your own home or at least save to that end, responsible enough to serve in church callings, married or working toward it, etc.), then do whatever you want - you've already proven that you know the difference between responsibility and fun, and how to balance them.

If you don't know the difference, grow up.  Of course, I could be wrong about what he means...  My interpretation says more about me than him.

[Guest MormonGator]

8 minutes ago, zil said:

I don't really think that's what omega was saying.  There's a large segment of 20- and 30-something males living in their parents' (or in one case I know, sister's) basements doing little but minimum wage work and playing video games.  My take was that omega was saying if that's you, give it up and grow up.  If you've already proven yourself a grown up (by having a steady career with a future, by being self-sufficient enough to own your own home or at least save to that end, responsible enough to serve in church callings, married or working toward it, etc.), then do whatever you want - you've already proven that you know the difference between responsibility and fun, and how to balance them.

If you don't know the difference, grow up.  Of course, I could be wrong about what he means...  My interpretation says more about me than him.

I know what you mean but there is an inclination that people-even married-with those hobbies are in some way less mature (?) worthy (?) than those who don't have enjoy them. it's a common stereotype that is out there, sadly. 

I know several people who live in their parents basement -but ironically they aren't into anime or video games. 

[zil]

9 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

I know what you mean but there is an inclination that people-even married-with those hobbies are in some way less mature (?) worthy (?) than those who don't have enjoy them. it's a common stereotype that is out there, sadly. 

I know several people who live in their parents basement -but ironically they aren't into anime or video games. 

A) If you're right with God, who cares what other people think?

B) Didn't mean to imply that living in your parents' basement was necessarily a bad thing - meant to imply that it's a bad thing if your reasoning is along the lines of: "a minimum wage job is all that's needed to pay for my video game habit, and mom and dad are paying room and board, so why bother doing more?"

[Guest MormonGator]

7 minutes ago, zil said:

A) If you're right with God, who cares what other people think?

B) Didn't mean to imply that living in your parents' basement was necessarily a bad thing - meant to imply that it's a bad thing if your reasoning is along the lines of: "a minimum wage job is all that's needed to pay for my video game habit, and mom and dad are paying room and board, so why bother doing more?"

A) That's nice in theory. While I don't disagree, if everyone hates you and no ones listens to you - you won't be a good missionary. I know of people who have the martyr complex (I don't think you do) but it will only take you so far. Often times it'll leave you bitter, lonely and holier than thou.  While it's true-all that matters is what God thinks of you-even Joseph Smith and Jesus Christ had friends. 

B) I know totally what you mean. 

[zil]

8 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

A) That's nice in theory. While I don't disagree, if everyone hates you and no ones listens to you - you won't be a good missionary. I know of people who have the martyr complex (I don't think you do) but it will only take you so far. Often times it'll leave you bitter, lonely and holier than thou.  While it's true-all that matters is what God thinks of you-even Joseph Smith and Jesus Christ had friends.

If you are bitter, lonely, and have a "holier than thou" attitude, you are not right with God.  If you're headed there, you're headed away from God.

If you are right with God, you are happy.  You love your fellow men.  You'll make an excellent missionary to those God would have you influence.  Those who would condemn you for things where the Lord does not condemn you, well, you can try to help them understand, and if they want nothing to do with you, then choose whether to change for their sake (yes, I think this is a viable option and possibly quite noble indeed, if the changes are as good as or better than where you currently are), or leave them to be influenced by others to whom they will listen - God will guide you in that choice.  Being right with God doesn't mean you don't have friends - it means you have the best of friends.  Christ and Joseph Smith had enemies too.  If you also end up with enemies, and even if you don't, follow Christ.  That's what matters.

[kapikui]

14 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

I don't have a problem with people looking at Anime I really don't but when someone gets on and whines about not being married, or not being successful in their career etc,  and they use an anime reference I think that it is time to leave that stuff behind. 

I know that this board is full of exceptions, but in general women are not into cartoons like guys are. There are some but it is a small percentage. Now find an LDS woman who is into these things. It is a percent of a percent.

I overheard a return missionary in my ward talking about Pokemon. I asked him what a "pokemon" was (my mistake because I already knew) he went into a detailed description about all that stuff. I then asked him if he liked girls. He said that yes he did, so I followed up and asked if he was sure. He assured me that he was. I looked around and didn't see a girl with him........hmmmm.

So back to my original point,  is this any different than the individuals who do the EXACT same thing about their favorite sport an if so how? 

[NeedleinA]

12 hours ago, MormonGator said:

I find it very troubling that some people just can't fathom that you can enjoy video games, board games, anime 

I enjoy video games, comics and Star Wars too. 

Pew Research Center:
" A majority of American adults (60%) believe that most people who play video games are men – a view that is shared by 57% of women who themselves play video games. But the data illustrates that in some ways this assumption is wrong: A nearly identical share of men and women report ever playing video games (50% of men and 48% of women). "
 

interesting bit that might help explain part of why the assumption is wrong... The Washington Post:
" About 70 percent of female gamers said they played as male characters online in hopes of sidestepping sexual harassment,"

[Ironhold]

In my case, I'm making fair wages for my area; I just can't get enough hours at my present job. I'm only getting 15 hours a week or so plus stringer rate, which isn't enough for me to live on my own. And sales at my Half.com store bottomed out last year; it went from being a third paycheck to hardly worth the time to maintain. 

That's why right now I'm just trying to save to get the money to relocate elsewhere. If I can't get more hours, if not a different job, then it'll be my only option. Until then, I'm stuck living with family. 

[omegaseamaster75]

On 3/20/2016 at 6:07 PM, MormonGator said:

I find it very troubling that some people just can't fathom that you can enjoy video games, board games, anime -and drive a nice car (I do) live in your own home (I do) and have an advanced college degree (I do). 

I am not saying you can't like those things, you can like whatever you please and I encourage it. 

You have an accomplished life. Let's list it out-:

You're married: Check

You're educated: Check

You're financially established: Check

You're a good priesthood holder: Check

So yes you can play all the video games, and watch all the cartoons you want. You clearly have balance in your life

[omegaseamaster75]

On 3/20/2016 at 6:49 AM, NeedleinA said:

I enjoy video games, comics and Star Wars too. 

Pew Research Center:
" A majority of American adults (60%) believe that most people who play video games are men – a view that is shared by 57% of women who themselves play video games. But the data illustrates that in some ways this assumption is wrong: A nearly identical share of men and women report ever playing video games (50% of men and 48% of women). "
 

interesting bit that might help explain part of why the assumption is wrong... The Washington Post:
" About 70 percent of female gamers said they played as male characters online in hopes of sidestepping sexual harassment,"

This is untrue, http://gamesided.com/2014/09/19/dont-women-play-video-games/

Like I said it is a percent of a percent. 

[omegaseamaster75]

On 3/20/2016 at 6:49 AM, NeedleinA said:

I enjoy video games, comics and Star Wars too. 

Pew Research Center:
" A majority of American adults (60%) believe that most people who play video games are men – a view that is shared by 57% of women who themselves play video games. But the data illustrates that in some ways this assumption is wrong: A nearly identical share of men and women report ever playing video games (50% of men and 48% of women). "
 

interesting bit that might help explain part of why the assumption is wrong... The Washington Post:
" About 70 percent of female gamers said they played as male characters online in hopes of sidestepping sexual harassment,"

This is untrue, http://gamesided.com/2014/09/19/dont-women-play-video-games/

Like I said it is a percent of a percent. 

[omegaseamaster75]

On 3/20/2016 at 6:49 AM, NeedleinA said:

I enjoy video games, comics and Star Wars too. 

Pew Research Center:
" A majority of American adults (60%) believe that most people who play video games are men – a view that is shared by 57% of women who themselves play video games. But the data illustrates that in some ways this assumption is wrong: A nearly identical share of men and women report ever playing video games (50% of men and 48% of women). "
 

interesting bit that might help explain part of why the assumption is wrong... The Washington Post:
" About 70 percent of female gamers said they played as male characters online in hopes of sidestepping sexual harassment,"

This is untrue, http://gamesided.com/2014/09/19/dont-women-play-video-games/

Like I said it is a percent of a percent. 

[NeuroTypical]

12 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

You're married: Check
You're educated: Check
You're financially established: Check
You're a good priesthood holder: [depends on who you ask]

So yes you can play all the video games, and watch all the cartoons you want. You clearly have balance in your life

Updated for me.  Can I still play fallout 4?

[omegaseamaster75]

We need to be our own measuring sticks. 

Look at your life and figure out what you want to accomplish.

[NeedleinA]

22 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

This is untrue, http://gamesided.com/2014/09/19/dont-women-play-video-games/

Like I said it is a percent of a percent. 

I'll have to leave that debate between the Pew Research Center/Washington Post vs. Georgina Young   

[unixknight]

I think what omega is saying (and correct me if I'm wrong) is that a guy who chooses to be involved in hobbies like anime and gaming is someone who is necessarily limiting his field of options when it comes to finding a mate because of the stigma that's sometimes attached to those activities.  (Right or wrong, that stigma does exist in some peoples' minds.) 

That being said, if a person has chosen to limit their options in this way, it makes no sense to then turn around and bemoan their plight in having trouble getting a date.  If they want to widen their options, they would have to make themselves more desirable to a larger number of potential love interests.

@omegaseamaster75  Is that correct, omega?

If that's what you mean, then I agree, although I'd never advocate that someone try and change who they are just to attract someone.  The right person for each of us is some one who will love us for who we are, and not for our ability to conform to the expectations of others.

 

[Guest]

If it makes you feel better, my wife says part of the reason she was initially attracted to me is because I am part of the one in fourteen American men who has zero interest in sports.

[NeuroTypical]

42 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

This is untrue, http://gamesided.com/2014/09/19/dont-women-play-video-games/

Like I said it is a percent of a percent. 

GoogleFu powers, level up and activate!

Pew Research Center, December 2015: "Half of men and a comparable number of women say they ever play video games on a computer, TV, game console, or portable device like a cellphone."

Entertainment Software Association, August 2014: "Women older than 18 are 36 percent of the game-playing population, while boys younger than 18 are only 17 percent, according to a recent study by the gaming advocacy group Entertainment Software Association. [...] Men still make up 52 percent of the game-playing population, but women, now 48 percent of the gaming population compared with just 40 percent in 2010, are closing in.

Internet Advertising Bureau Great Britain, September 2014: "Based on interviews with 4,000 UK residents, the research asserts that women now account for 52% of the gaming audience, up from 49% three years ago."zc

Random Wikipedia graph, assembled from various sources and doesn't list PDA/cellphones:

[omegaseamaster75]

On 3/20/2016 at 10:45 PM, kapikui said:

So back to my original point,  is this any different than the individuals who do the EXACT same thing about their favorite sport an if so how? 

No there is no difference.

[omegaseamaster75]

38 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

GoogleFu powers, level up and activate!

Pew Research Center, December 2015: "Half of men and a comparable number of women say they ever play video games on a computer, TV, game console, or portable device like a cellphone."

Entertainment Software Association, August 2014: "Women older than 18 are 36 percent of the game-playing population, while boys younger than 18 are only 17 percent, according to a recent study by the gaming advocacy group Entertainment Software Association. [...] Men still make up 52 percent of the game-playing population, but women, now 48 percent of the gaming population compared with just 40 percent in 2010, are closing in.

Internet Advertising Bureau Great Britain, September 2014: "Based on interviews with 4,000 UK residents, the research asserts that women now account for 52% of the gaming audience, up from 49% three years ago."zc

Random Wikipedia graph, assembled from various sources and doesn't list PDA/cellphones:

Look at the bottom line that is what I am talking about "Video gaming" not playing candy crush or farmville on your phone but "gaming" less than 30%...Thank you for your research.

 

If you want to find an LDS mate who is a "gamer" it is a % of  a %

[omegaseamaster75]

1 hour ago, unixknight said:

I think what omega is saying (and correct me if I'm wrong) is that a guy who chooses to be involved in hobbies like anime and gaming is someone who is necessarily limiting his field of options when it comes to finding a mate because of the stigma that's sometimes attached to those activities.  (Right or wrong, that stigma does exist in some peoples' minds.) 

That being said, if a person has chosen to limit their options in this way, it makes no sense to then turn around and bemoan their plight in having trouble getting a date.  If they want to widen their options, they would have to make themselves more desirable to a larger number of potential love interests.

@omegaseamaster75  Is that correct, omega?

If that's what you mean, then I agree, although I'd never advocate that someone try and change who they are just to attract someone.  The right person for each of us is some one who will love us for who we are, and not for our ability to conform to the expectations of others.

 

YES. 

No we shouldn't change who we are unless we find that it is holding us back in some way and we WANT to change. 

[estradling75]

13 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

No we shouldn't change who we are unless we find that it is holding us back in some way and we WANT to change. 

 

That is kind of the crux of the whole matter isn't it?

There is a saying that "Doing what you have always done will get you what you have always gotten..."   However in threads like this it seems that the common complaint is "The world is not changing to my liking"

If your life isn't going the way you like, instead making excuses... grab your Faith, and exercise your agency the way God intended.   Doing so might not get you where you want to go, but it will get you where God wants you to be, and there can be a lot of peace when you know that.