Why is there a "crazy" switch with single adults in our faith?

[NightSG]

43 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

There is a reason that the wealthiest segments of the population live on the coasts...that's where the high paying jobs are. Don't boohoo the economics of living in a big city because it's just not true.

The poorest segments of the population also tend to live there.  Haven't noticed a homeless problem here at all.

[omegaseamaster75]

10 minutes ago, NightSG said:

The poorest segments of the population also tend to live there.  

Well don't be poor you are in direct control of this.

11 minutes ago, NightSG said:

Haven't noticed a homeless problem here at all.

Homeless people go where the money is, so should you.

[Jane_Doe]

2 hours ago, Ironhold said:

1. When I went in for a temple recommend a decade back, the person who was stake president at the time shot me down cold. He said that he was told to only give temple recommends to people who were going on missions, getting married, or at a stage in their life where their finances were absolutely secure. Until I met one of those three criteria, it was a lost cause regardless of how I lived. College blew my finances apart, such that I'm still trying to rebuild. I never went on a mission, so that's out. And because I never went on a mission, I'm not getting married any time soon, so that's out. 

As somebody who also does not fit any of those three categories, I will tell you that people's attitude are changing.  The last bishops/stake presidents I've had over the last 5 have been downright encouraging of me going to the temple, despite not fitting any of the traditional "big 3".

[Guest]

25 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

As somebody who also does not fit any of those three categories, I will tell you that people's attitude are changing.  The last bishops/stake presidents I've had over the last 5 have been downright encouraging of me going to the temple, despite not fitting any of the traditional "big 3".

I went in to get my first temple recommend before I was engaged (more than 10 years ago, and that's all I'm saying  ). I was just thinking about this the other day. The bishop did not want to give me a recommend. Not because I wasn't worthy, but because I was young and single and he wanted to be sure I was ready for the gravity of the covenants I'd be taking on. If I remember correctly, he had me wait a few weeks or something and come back to be sure I felt like it was the right time. I was a little offended at the time, and carried that offense for a few years.

Now, having been through the temple, I understand totally where he was coming from. It wasn't from a place of judgment, but of concern. 

[unixknight]

I fail to see why being giddy over a board game is a bad thing...

[Vagabond80]

His story is not unusual.  I have a friend who is now 35 who was told my his Stake President to not attend a Single's Ward in Mesa Arizona for 8 years.  He wishes he had gone because he says he would have been married by now.  Whether he would be or wouldn't is impossible to say but he never had a chance to find out.  Also the stake president had no right to make that decision because people from all over the area were attending.  The church is not immune to bad leadership.  I say give the guy a break.  He came here trying to explain his part of the story now everyone is picking on him.... What gives?  Seriously?  He wasn't talking about not having a job, or not getting ahead, he said that women don't want anything to do with him because he's not a return missionary.  Seriously?  He would know what he's been dealing with because he's experienced it... not you guys...... Should he leave?  Well, the solution for me would be to go back to a Family Ward.  But he has to do what's good for him, not put up with this crap. 

Edited March 18, 2016 by Vagabond80

[Guest MormonGator]

14 minutes ago, unixknight said:

I fail to see why being giddy over a board game is a bad thing...

 It isn't. When I volunteered at a rest home in high school they played board games all the time. There is nothing juvenile about them at all. 

[NeedleinA]

3 hours ago, Ironhold said:

1. When I went in for a temple recommend a decade back, the person who was stake president at the time shot me down cold. He said that he was told to only give temple recommends to people who were going on missions, getting married, or at a stage in their life where their finances were absolutely secure. 

Go back Ironhold and do it again. Jane & Eowyn both have shared great examples. I don't know what age you are, but I know that unless you are going on a mission or getting married, that Church leaders are basically counseled "not" to give recommends to individuals in their late teens or early twenties. If this was your case, please don't take things personally. If it wasn't your case, still don't take things personally. If I were you, I would go back again. 

As far as the finances part, I personally have never heard that one before, unless they were trying to explain something about paying tithing?

Regardless, I would go back again. Don't let a decade old interview hold you back. I remember my cousin got offended because his bishop called him out for not having a tie on while blessing the sacrament on Sunday. My cousin left the church and attributes his breaking point to that one moment in time. While his bishop could/should have acted better, the one losing out right now is my cousin, not his old bishop from a decade ago. 

1 hour ago, Jane_Doe said:

As somebody who also does not fit any of those three categories, I will tell you that people's attitude are changing.  The last bishops/stake presidents I've had over the last 5 have been downright encouraging of me going to the temple, despite not fitting any of the traditional "big 3".

Agreed!

45 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

Now, having been through the temple, I understand totally where he was coming from. It wasn't from a place of judgment, but of concern. 

This is a super good point, and the main point of not issuing recommends to young adults without a specific purpose. 
A young adult who becomes a missionary almost instantly is given a constant support partner (mission companion) to help them keep and live up to their covenants.
The same is true (hopefully) in marriage. You instantly have your constant support partner to help you then. 

I believe this is a major factor why young adults and long time members who are married to non-members are postponed in receiving their own endowments. 

Edited March 18, 2016 by NeedleinA

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, Vagabond80 said:

now everyone is picking on him.... What gives?  

Speaking for myself, my motivation is not to pick on him. Far from it. I'm being direct, but trying to help. I recognize in him a type of a pattern of thinking that I get into when I'm fighting depression. The thing that helps most is to look at what I'm saying (to myself and others) very closely, and reduce it to what is actually true, not my perception of things. Depression twists and distorts perception. Another thing that helps me is to take responsibility for what I can do, (for instance changing my thinking and letting go of old hurts), and to leave the rest (such as what other people might think of me) to other people. 

A cycle of negative thinking and holding grudges really is counter-productive. It makes the thinker feel worse and worse about things, and frankly it's a turn-off to people around them. 

[Guest MormonGator]

20 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

Speaking for myself, my motivation is not to pick on him.

Eowyn is exactly right. Our motivation is to help him. Sometimes you need to hear the truth and it can't all be sunshines and rainbows-in particular if you are complaining about your current circumstance.  

[Guest]

8 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

6. Lastly I will address the Anime thingy, my understanding is that this is japanese cartoon stuff, I lump this with role playing games and other silly childish stuff. KNOCK IT OFF. You are a grown man act like one. 

Ok I am ready for it guys, all the exceptions will come out and say "well my wife likes anime also" or "we play D&D together" this is the EXCEPTION not the rule.

Hey, waitaminute.  You can't say that.  My wife... oh... right.

[Vagabond80]

@MormonGator:

     Ain't nothing wrong with board games, ain't nothing wrong with Disney.... But when you have full grown me... BOYS getting competitive over Risk and Cataan, sorry I think I deserve some credit for even giving you the same courtesy that I usually save for the other Priesthood.  Also... picture this.  You're riding home from church on Sunday... its a nice day out.  Everyone is feeling so energized.  "Man I love feeling the spirit" -  Ok I, I guess I do too.  And then, the whole car full of 4 other guys in their mid 20's erupt into "Be a Man" by Mulan.  And this from the same ones to who esteem themselves to be upright men of God?

 

[zil]

8 hours ago, Vagabond80 said:

. 4 other guys in their mid 20's erupt into "Be a Man" by Mulan. ..

A) Are these other 4 guys Pacific islanders, or people who grew up in the Pacific islands?  Did you grow up in the Pacific islands?

B) What is "Mulan"?

C) Exodus 20:7

[unixknight]

8 hours ago, Vagabond80 said:

@MormonGator:

     Ain't nothing wrong with board games, ain't nothing wrong with Disney.... But when you have full grown me... BOYS getting competitive over Risk and Cataan, sorry I think I deserve some credit for even giving you the same courtesy that I usually save for the other Priesthood.  Also... picture this.  You're riding home from church on Sunday... its a nice day out.  Everyone is feeling so energized.  "Man I love feeling the spirit" -  Ok I, I guess I do too.  And then, the whole car full of 4 other guys in their mid 20's erupt into "Be a Man" by Mulan.  And this from the same ones to who esteem themselves to be upright men of God?

 

Again, I fail to see the problem with this.  It's a cool song and I would LOVE to hear the Elder's Quorum erupt into it.

Edited March 18, 2016 by unixknight

[Ironhold]

16 hours ago, NightSG said:

You're not even two hours from me. In fact, I think our stakes share a boundary.  Makes me wonder if we're dealing with some of the same crazies.

Waco Stake?

Waco was actually split off of Killeen after it got too difficult to get everyone together for stake events. 

[NeuroTypical]

9 hours ago, Vagabond80 said:

@MormonGator:

    Also... picture this.  You're riding home from church on Sunday... its a nice day out.  Everyone is feeling so energized.  "Man I love feeling the spirit" -  Ok I, I guess I do too.  And then, the whole car full of 4 other guys in their mid 20's erupt into "Be a Man" by Mulan.  And this from the same ones to who esteem themselves to be upright men of God?

 

You're absolutely right.   The correct thing for them to erupt into, would be this:

 

 

[NightSG]

22 minutes ago, Ironhold said:

Waco Stake?

Waco was actually split off of Killeen after it got too difficult to get everyone together for stake events. 

I'm in Weatherford Stake.  There have been rumors of some rearrangement since we've got at least two wards that are an hour from the stake center, and a couple others that are 30 minutes away, but everything east of us is the DFW area with stakes geographically smaller than our wards.  Currently, we've got from Antelope in the north almost to Hamilton in the south, then a southeast extension that covers Cleburne, Alvarado and Grandview that really seem like they'd be more logical to include with Mansfield, Burleson, etc. instead of their best route to the stake center crossing another stake.

[Vort]

10 hours ago, Vagabond80 said:

Also... picture this.  You're riding home from church on Sunday... its a nice day out.  Everyone is feeling so energized.  "Man I love feeling the spirit" -  Ok I, I guess I do too.  And then, the whole car full of 4 other guys in their mid 20's erupt into "Be a Man" by Mulan.  And this from the same ones to who esteem themselves to be upright men of God?

I concede that the "Man, I love feeling the Spirit" comment sounds a bit callow. But mid-20-year-old men are callow, almost by definition.

I'm just not seeing what is wrong or embarrassing or otherwise unseemly about men (mid-20s or any other age) singing a song from a popular movie about being a man. Is it because Mulan was a woman, so the irony and her cooties make it icky?

[Vagabond80]

Hi Vort... you suck at reverse psychology by the way.  Cooties... no.  It was the combination of infantile stupidity coming from a bunch of boys who acted as if they had an edge on the rest of the world.  An assurance that swung between naive and arrogant.  Nice try though... 

[zil]

12 minutes ago, Vagabond80 said:

Hi Vort... you suck at reverse psychology by the way.  Cooties... no.  It was the combination of infantile stupidity coming from a bunch of boys who acted as if they had an edge on the rest of the world.  An assurance that swung between naive and arrogant.  Nice try though... 

Can you not see what you just wrote?

[Guest MormonGator]

14 hours ago, Vagabond80 said:

@MormonGator:

     Ain't nothing wrong with board games, ain't nothing wrong with Disney.... But when you have full grown me... BOYS getting competitive over Risk and Cataan, sorry I think I deserve some credit for even giving you the same courtesy that I usually save for the other Priesthood.  Also... picture this.  You're riding home from church on Sunday... its a nice day out.  Everyone is feeling so energized.  "Man I love feeling the spirit" -  Ok I, I guess I do too.  And then, the whole car full of 4 other guys in their mid 20's erupt into "Be a Man" by Mulan.  And this from the same ones to who esteem themselves to be upright men of God?

 

To be honest no, you don't deserve credit for it in the least. You aren't doing anything noble.  Your wrongly equate being interested in video games, board games and certain types of music etc as "juvenile". That's more sad than anything else.  You seem to be having a very challenging time accepting that people can be loyal and decent priest holders and :: gasp : have different interests than your own. I see it all the time in religious communities, and it gives us a very bad name. You remind me of a missionary who thought joking and smiling was in some ways "unbecoming". I finally shot back at her, "Do me a favor? Lighten up." 


My former church was filled with people who were mopey, over serious, sad and uptight all the time. I grew up around them. It was exhausting. Be coming LDS has brought unparalleled laughter and joy into my life, thank God.  

Edited March 18, 2016 by MormonGator

[unixknight]

15 minutes ago, Vagabond80 said:

Hi Vort... you suck at reverse psychology by the way.  Cooties... no.  It was the combination of infantile stupidity coming from a bunch of boys who acted as if they had an edge on the rest of the world.  An assurance that swung between naive and arrogant.  Nice try though... 

I feel like I'm missing something as I read this.  Was there more infantile behavior besides the singing, or is that what you mean?  I just don't see what there is to complain about here.

[zil]

1 hour ago, Vort said:

cooties

Aaah, those were the days...

[NightSG]

12 hours ago, Vagabond80 said:

@MormonGator:

And then, the whole car full of 4 other guys in their mid 20's erupt into "Be a Man" by Mulan.

I did backing vocals for "Holding Out For A Hero" at a Church karaoke night.  Does that count?

[NeedleinA]

On 3/17/2016 at 1:01 PM, Vagabond80 said:

Carborendum, if you're smart enough to use a computer you comprehend the importance of reading a post on an online forum before putting in your two cents....

 

23 hours ago, Vagabond80 said:

Well Omega dude... you opened a can of worms with this one.  ... but you are the type of Mormon that makes me hate Mormons...  

 

19 hours ago, Vagabond80 said:

Grasp, grasp, grasp.  

 

1 hour ago, Vagabond80 said:

Hi Vort... you suck at reverse psychology by the way.  

Vagabond80, you are only 16 posts into your experience here on LDS.net. Breathe...

Edited March 18, 2016 by NeedleinA