Visiting Teaching: Not Confidential

[Sunday21]

My assumption is that in Visiting Teaching, as a visiting teacher, I have the right and obligation to report anything said during that visit to my Relief Society president. I have had people that I visit teach tell me that ‘this is just between the two of us’. If the matter is a long list of health problems, I understand. All I report to the RS Pres is ‘health problems, many’ but other issues like depression, I am not so sure. What do you think? What is confidential?

[NeedleinA]

5 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

I have had people that I visit teach tell me that ‘this is just between the two of us’.

I would suggest, unless they are sharing something that relates to the immediate danger of themselves or others and they specifically ask you to keep it to yourself, I would.
If they have health problems and ask you not to share it, I would not, even to the RS President. I would instead focus your efforts on perhaps helping the Sister work on her health issues or helping her see the benefits of sharing her issues with the RS Pres. herself, but I wouldn't break that bridge of trust unless there was the aspect of immediate danger.

Example, my husband beats me each night, don't tell = I would tell the RS Pres.
Example, I have colon cancer, don't tell = I would not tell the RS Pres. Let her be the one to share that.
Good job doing your visiting teaching @Sunday21!

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

12 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

My assumption is that in Visiting Teaching, as a visiting teacher, I have the right and obligation to report anything said during that visit to my Relief Society president. I have had people that I visit teach tell me that ‘this is just between the two of us’. If the matter is a long list of health problems, I understand. All I report to the RS Pres is ‘health problems, many’ but other issues like depression, I am not so sure. What do you think? What is confidential?

 I, wholeheartedly agree with Needle, unless there is immediate danger to them or someone else, keep their confidences.  

I was once a Visiting Teaching Supervisor (or whatever they call it).  One day it was announced that there was a change and that the sisters who reported their visiting teaching to me should also report any issues their sisters were having.  I, in turn would report that to the VT Coordinator (?)  who would then report it to the RS President.  

I had a big problem with that.  I would not want the things I shared with my VT to be "passed up the line" that way.  I asked to be released from my calling.  

I have had the same visiting teacher for several years.  I have told her (she's the VT Coordinator) not to let them change her, or I will not allow VT.  Just put me on a letter route.  I've had too many bad experiences with well-intended members.   My VT is moving this summer, so I guess I shall be on a letter route.  

Edited April 1, 2018 by LiterateParakeet

[Sunday21]

@NeedleinA @LiterateParakeet Thank you! I guess that I misread the culture!

[NeedleinA]

 

2 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

@NeedleinA @LiterateParakeet Thank you! I guess that I misread the culture!

The culture unfortunately morphs at times based on the participants.
VT/HT is to be a blessing, a crutch, a friend, a support to the recipient. 
If confidences are broken, even by well intended people like @LiterateParakeet mentioned, VT/HT feels more like a sloppy amateur spy ring than a wonderful organized structure designed to bless the lives of God's children. I understand where LP is coming from, and sad for her experiences with her local VT system, this is exactly why we don't feed confident things up the chain unless there is immediate danger.

Edited April 1, 2018 by NeedleinA

[Sunday21]

@NeedleinA Thank you! I see your point!

[zil]

Handbook 2, Chapter 9

Quote

9.5.4 Reporting Visiting Teaching

The Relief Society presidency or those who are called to assist them receive monthly reports from visiting teachers. The visiting teachers report any special needs of the sisters they visit and any service rendered. In addition, presidency members meet with visiting teachers regularly to discuss sisters’ spiritual and temporal welfare and to make plans to help those in need. Confidential information should be reported only to the Relief Society president, who reports it to the bishop.

FWIW.

IMO, a thinking person would see that and understand that it refers only to confidential information which needs to be reported to the RSP or bishop.  Every person is different in these assessments, therefore, the wise thing, in my mind, is the ask the sister if it's OK to invite the RSP or bishop to visit with her and arrange support as needed.  If not, the VTers ought to offer the needed support, as able.

(Yes, some extreme things probably ought to bypass the request process - e.g. if you arrive and the sister asks you to hold this wire steady as she solders it onto the circuit board of her bomb, you probably ought to go ahead and call 911 without further ado.)

Edited April 1, 2018 by zil

[Vin]

I agree with what others have said. However I also think it's important to assure people that that RSP and the Bishop or indeed other members are the church are there to support them.

Regarding depression (as a fellow sufferer), I would also like to add that confidentiality is appreciated however it's important to take note if a person seems to deteriorate and spot the signs. Enquire of their weekly activities - are they seeing anyone other than yourself every week? The small things will help you to decide when it is a good idea to inform others of the situation.

[NeuroTypical]

There's no law.  I don't think there's any church policy.  An intent of HT/VT is to help surface problems, but it's not a "thou shalt surface all problems" thing.

It is intended to be a relationship, and divulging stuff to third parties can bring consequences. If you find the consequences are worth it, go for it.

[The Folk Prophet]

18 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

My assumption is that in Visiting Teaching, as a visiting teacher, I have the right and obligation to report anything said during that visit to my Relief Society president. I have had people that I visit teach tell me that ‘this is just between the two of us’. If the matter is a long list of health problems, I understand. All I report to the RS Pres is ‘health problems, many’ but other issues like depression, I am not so sure. What do you think? What is confidential?

If someone said to me, "This is just between us" while I was home teaching I would quickly interject, "Then don't tell me because I'm going to report it to the EQ president."

[Sunday21]

Welcome @Vin Thanks for your help!

[NightSG]

4 hours ago, zil said:

(Yes, some extreme things probably ought to bypass the request process - e.g. if you arrive and the sister asks you to hold this wire steady as she solders it onto the circuit board of her bomb, you probably ought to go ahead and call 911 without further ado.)

Unless she's cute and single; then call me.  I'd like to find a good woman with a decent understanding of electronics.

[Grunt]

Looks like you're released.

[zil]

I don't think it's nearly as big a change as it at first appeared.  The email and web page will clarify, but by all appearances, there are still companionships and assignments.

[Grunt]

24 minutes ago, zil said:

I don't think it's nearly as big a change as it at first appeared.  The email and web page will clarify, but by all appearances, there are still companionships and assignments.

Sounds like they're just loosening up the "home" portion of Home Teaching as well as the visitation expectations.

[wenglund]

8 minutes ago, Grunt said:

Sounds like they're just loosening up the "home" portion of Home Teaching as well as the visitation expectations.

I have noticed that the Leader and Clerk Resource (LCR) page on the Church website, where, in part, Home Teaching assignments and reports are generated as per quorum/group, has been unavailable since this morning. Seems the programmers are busy implementing the database changes to reflect the recent priesthood and HT changes.

Thanks, -=Wade Englund-

[pam]

I guess a lot of this will become a moot point in the future after the announcements made this weekend.

[The Folk Prophet]

2 minutes ago, pam said:

I guess a lot of this will become a moot point in the future after the announcements made this weekend.

Not really. Just change the title of the thread to, Ministering: Not Confidential

Edited April 1, 2018 by The Folk Prophet

[Jane_Doe]

20 hours ago, pam said:

I guess a lot of this will become a moot point in the future after the announcements made this weekend.

For the VT program, yes.  For the basic human interaction, no.

"What is confidential or not" is a human interaction thing.  Some things ARE very much a mandatory-reporting (such as abuse), vast majority of others keep confidentiality.  

[Vort]

The cynical have enjoyed portraying home and visiting teaching as "assigned friends". No doubt such people will continue their oh-so-cleverly-insightful cynicism with the new ministering initiative, as well. Psychologists and counselors are "paid friends", so assigned ministers are like that, except without the certificate or salary.

But given that a home teacher/visiting teacher/minister was and is supposed to be a(n unpaid) friend, I would think you would act exactly as you would toward any other friend. You keep their confidences, unless by so doing you bring damage to them or others. Seems reasonably straightforward to me.