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Frankly, I have no problem with the concept of expressing your concerns even to the point of "we don't think you should marry him". You say this once and only once, letting it possibly becoming a case of "you can't say we didn't warn you" without further nagging, but yes, I'd let your daughter know your feelings.

I dated a loser like that for a couple of years, and my parents strongly objected and absolutely let me know. My problem was that I couldn't see that I had anything to offer, I didn't think I could expect much more than this guy. All of my friends had more dating experience than I did, and as far as I thought back then, the loser was the only guy who had ever thought much of me. Serious confidence and self-image problems, make no mistake. I don't know your daughters situation or her mind, but if you want to help her shed a bad relationship, I'd start with trying to bolster her self-image.

SALT LAKE CITY — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has donated to the Utah Pride Center's efforts to provide breakfasts for homeless youths, the center announced Wednesday. Church officials notified the Utah Pride Center of the donation in a recent grant letter, said Kent Frogley, chairman of the center's board of directors. The Salt Lake-based nonprofit agency serves breakfast every Saturday when the weather gets cold, Frogley said. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865631810/LDS-Church-donates-to-Utah-Pride-Centers-efforts-to-feed-homeless-youths.html?pg=all

I agree with Backroads, you need to let her know that you believe she is making the wrong choice. Of course you will love her either way, but she may need to hear it from you.

I often can't help but think that every member of the church should spend a (Jewish) Sabbath with an Orthodox Jewish family. I think having come from that, gave me a perspective on honoring the Sabbath day and keeping it holy that most people don't have. Not that we would need to take on everything....no driving...no turning lights on and off, etc.....but I think the focus on the Sabbath and the whole mind-set would be really eye-opening and helpful. As an Orthodox Jew, everything - and I do mean everything - you did was focused on keeping the Sabbath. Shomer Shabbat. You really did step away from the world for 25 hours. When I first moved into my current ward, the bishop took some time to get to know me. We all know you should be careful what you share with the bishop, right? One time, we talked about keeping the Sabbath and he had lots of questions regarding what my customs had been. He then declared that he thought it would be great if I could give a lesson on keeping the Sabbath. I think he forgot about it, but one of his councilors recently mentioned it. Yikes. I think if I mention that endless meetings were not part of the tradition (you do not discuss/make plans on the Sabbath for anything that occurs after the Sabbath), that might be a popular idea with some. And for those that grumble about the three-hour block - they might have a different perspective after learning that Jews have an obligation to pray three times a day and the Sabbath (and therefore the observance thereof) spans a 25 hour period of sunset to sunset. So you start Friday night with maariv (the third prayer service of the day, and on Shabbat this is followed by a festive meal. Best meals ever), continue Saturday morning with Shacharit - which in itself is usually about three hours long -, followed by mincha in the afternoon- the mid-day prayers (and in my synagogue and many others), this was preceeded by a kiddush lunch - which was a marvelous opportunity to socialize amd feel like family -, with maariv again at the close of the day. Shabbat would then be officially ended with a ritual/blessing called Havdalah. Between mincha in the early afternoon and maariv at the end of the day, there would be various activities happening, but the focus was always on Shabbat. Since driving is forbidden on Shabbat, everyone lives within walking distance of the shul (synagogue). So there would be lots of interaction between families/members during that time. Before my conversion, the shul (very old building that had its issues, but was very beloved for it's quirkiness at the same time) was near a small park, so often in the nice weather, families would stop there to let the children work off some of their excess energy. Then people would wander off either to their own home for a Shabbos nap (a time-honored tradition with no shame whatsoever!) or to attend to the needs of babies and young children, or go to another home in the neighborhood. Yes, some socializing would go on, but there was always, always Torah study going on by everyone for a good chunk of the afternoon. Some of it would be somewhat structured - I remember we had a women's group who studied Pirke Avot during the appropriate time of the year, and there might be groups of men who were wrestling with a particular portion of the Torah together - but most of it was informal and spontaneous, a natural outgrowth of that week's midrash or a question brought up by someone. But always, always everyone studied Torah in those hours. All of those things, combined with the complete and absolute absence of telephones, TV watching, etc. combined for the best, most amazing day of the week. I remember a woman once - who grew up in the liberal end of Judaism (which, to me, has become so far removed from traditional Judaism as to be unrecognizable) - telling the rabbi that she couldn't possibly be Shomer Shabbos (Sabbath observant) because then when would she get the laundry and the housework done? She just didn't have "time" to observe the Sabbath. The rabbi assured her that if she honored those 25 hours, she would find that she did indeed still have time to do everything else. That would be part of the blessings received. So this woman gradually increased her Sabbath observance. Some time later, she joyfully told the rabbi that she was now Shomer Shabbos and that the strangest thing happened - she had no trouble getting the housework and other "have-tos" done on the other six days of the week! One thing I forgot to mention....Shabbat is always ushered in by the lighting of the candles. This occurs prior to sunset (no kindling of a fire once Shabbat has begun) and is always done by the women (unless there is no woman in a household). Usually two candles are lit (although you can light more) and it is customary to have candlesticks that are used only for Shabbat. The bracha (blessing) is said and Shabbat has officially begun. I really miss the candle-lighting. I miss that special moment of transition between the rest of the week and Shabbat. The house has been cleaned, the food prepared (no cooking on Shabbat), TV is off, phones are off. Then you light the candles, say the bracha and you can feel the peace descending.

The Church History In The Fulness Of Times Student Manual would be an inexpensive and authoritative place to start.

Same here. We are repenting. Being called to repentance is humbling, especially when it's in a meetinghouse chapel with an apostle, four 70's, and a presiding bishopric member. Ouch, but I guess it's the good kind of ouch. p.s. Anyone that says that higher church leadership is out of touch with the members is very, very wrong and in a desperate situation. Church leadership is in touch and completely aware of the issues, 100%.

Hmm. "Family first" is my general approach. Why can't you just swap weeks with one of the other teachers?

Leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are urging Mormons around the world to improve their observance of the Sabbath day. In local and regional leadership training meetings this year, leaders are receiving instruction on the topic of strengthening faith in God by observing the Sabbath day with greater purpose. Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles explained that Church leaders have felt the importance of encouraging families and individuals to rethink and refocus their efforts on what they do on the Sabbath day. “Our whole desire is that throughout the Church, we focus our Sabbath day worship on the Lord,” he said. http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-leaders-call-for-better-observance-of-sabbath-day

Totally agree. I get hung up on semantics a lot. I could never say "you should not marry him", but saying "I don't think you should marry him" is okay with me.

I agree with the others. It is very much in yours and your wife's stewardships to make these concerns known to your daughter--once. I would suggest you don't make the conversation about him, though. That's a sucker's game, because "You don't know him the way I do!!!" and you just create a persecution complex ("no one understands us!! This is just like Romeo and Juliet. Let's elope!!"). Rather, I'd suggest you try to find a way to point out how self-confident, talkative, and generally full-of-life she used to be; gently note that you've seen a change in her, and ask if there's anything you can do to help make her happier. Hopefully that could get her to open up a bit and have a good heart-to-heart that might eventually lead to the issue of Him.

For some reason this one does bother me as much as same sex marriage. I realize it is still against church policy and doctrine. But if some guy wants to take on having to put up with more than one woman...more power to him.

For historical fiction, I don't think you can do better than Gerald Lund's The Work and the Glory series. For LDS history generally, I'm a fan of James Allen and Glen Leonard's Story of the Latter-Day Saints. The Church Institute publishes a manual called "Church History in the Fulness of Times" that is okay (online at https://www.lds.org/manual/church-history-in-the-fulness-of-times-student-manual?lang=eng), and there's a new manual called "Foundations of the Restoration" that looks promising (https://www.lds.org/manual/foundations-of-the-restoration-teacher-manual?lang=eng).

During training we were told that Sabbath day observance will not only bless the members, but everyone in the entire world. What I felt was that Sabbath day observance is actually a really big deal, it has not been happening as it should, and huge blessings will come from keeping the Sabbath day holy. It was powerful.

Mormon male missionaries, or “elders,” are recognized in many parts of the world by their suits and black name tags. However, in some parts of world with hot climates, suit coats are impractical. To reduce the financial burden on missionaries and their families, elders who are called to serve in missions identified by the Church as having hot climates will no longer be required to purchase or wear suit coats. Missionaries called to serve in these missions will be notified in their call packets. http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/mormon-missionaries-suit-coats-hot-climates There is a link to a PDF file showing which missions apply in the article.

I have only shared with my former mission president, wife, and endowed children in the temple. Personal things are just that- personal. If they are shared a lot then they are no longer personal things.

I am going to agree with JAG... Express your concerns to your daughter... and make it about how she is different... Ask her if she is happer now then she was before. If you can get her to acknowldge she is in worse shape now then before... Then you make statement of "why are you staying in a situtation that make things worst?" Then express you confendince that she is "Smart enough, strong enough, wise enough" to take control and fix her life

I only share my sacred experiences with immediate family at most. However, many things are only kept in my journals (a very safe place as no one ever reads them!)

JaG is right this is in your stewardship, but I believe any family member or friend has the right of speaking up. I remember expecting family and friends to speak up if they saw a problem with a new relationship. I'm only one perspective.

Don't forget about thankamonies.

My ward has made the switch. Starting Sunday, Sacrament meeting will be first. I will soooo like this.

And to put up with all those Mothers-in-law... ugh!

You forgot "straight". A white, straight male.

My gut tells me that Collier won't win this one--if only because he's a white male. The case that legalizes polygamy will come from a Muslim man, a polyandrous woman, or free-love swingers in a group marriage. It won't come from a white Christian male.

I think the litmus test for how successful the change is with the members will be the first Sunday "Fast, Testimony & Travelogue" Meetings.

This would've been nice when I was called to the Philippines, especially since I'm extremely warm-natured. >_> I'm glad for those in such climates now!

Awesomeness

...and then throw a fit when gossip is on the list, and most of them have to wear muzzles all day.

There is no middle ground I would morally support. Until you are divorced or widowed, you have no business pondering relationships with another person.

How much of this hug is your own interpretation?

I have to agree with NT. You're playing with fire, and you're risking a lot more than just your own heart and well-being. If this good friend poses a threat to your intimacy with your wife, do the right thing and throw water on that relationship. You need not be unkind to your dear friend, but you need to protect your marriage (and hers).

Knock it off. You picked a wife and got married. Stop looking outside the marriage. Of course you shouldn't talk to the woman or your wife about this. You're supposed to deal with your inappropriate feelings by dealing with them yourself, not by feeding them and making life complicated for three other people in two different marriages. Stop hugging other women when doing so arouses such feelings in you. Or, get a divorce and urge the object of your emotional fantasy relationship to do the same, then you can be together. Pick one. I really don't think there's a middle ground here, although someone else might be of a different opinion.

For the right amount of money I would send you a message. Lol!!!!

In all honesty it just does not seem right to receive money gifts from friends that are struggling when one has sufficient and more for their needs. But one cherished wedding gift came from a struggling friend and artist that took our wedding picture from our announcement and reproduced it by hand burning a replication on scrap plywood. After over 40 years it is the only gift I remember and still have.