Loose House Cats

[zil2]

1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said:

The notion of fighting off a cat with a bat or nightstick = you will be beating yourself with a bat or nightstick as the cat claws it's way around you.

I've been trying to keep my mouth closed, cuz folks seem so convinced, but yeah, this.  And frankly, I'm only 5' 3" and my arms are still longer than any house cat (except maybe a Maine coon).  If you're attacked by a house cat, keep one arm free and grab a fistful of skin, repeat until you've got it by it's back.  You win.  Sure, you'll be all scratched up, but once you've got it by the scruff on it's neck / back, you win - especially the neck - that triggers the cat to relax so it isn't injured while its mother carries it (though I don't know if they mature out of that, but apparently it's built into their nervous system).

Better yet, be a wonderful cat-loving person and fluffy isn't going to attack you anyway. She'll turn up her nose and walk away (unless you happen to be offering a can of tuna).  Other tips: when cats start wagging their tails, they intend to attack, so back out.  Slow blink at the kitty - this is how kitties say, "I love you".  Do it a few times, slowly.  Don't mess with feral kitties unless you know what you're doing.  Don't move any part of yourself rapidly toward kitty.  I mean, this isn't rocket science.  Meanwhile, when a lion wants to hug you, you might want to brace yourself:

This is how I imagine the Millennium - all the lion hugging you can stand.

[mordorbund]

 

On 5/4/2023 at 7:10 PM, askandanswer said:

Pam, how many cats have you introduced to your dehydrator? 68?

On 5/4/2023 at 9:38 PM, pam said:

No it was 268.  

Any jerky recipes you want to share?

[Traveler]

6 hours ago, mirkwood said:

An aggressive attacking large dog will not be deterred by a squirt gun.  Pepper spray sure, but no squirt gun is going to do the job, even with ammonia.

Ammonia can cause temporary blindness in a dog when applied directly to their eyes - high doses of ammonia can cause perinate blindness.

 

The Traveler

[zil2]

On 5/3/2023 at 5:32 PM, zil2 said:

If I go forward, once I have him harness-trained, maybe I'll take him for a walk in @Traveler's neighborhood.

Well, I'm financially committed now - kitty supplies ordered.  Apparently kitten season is delayed due to our long winter, so it'll probably be the end of the month before they start showing up in significant numbers at shelters and such.  Plenty of time to finish my preparations.

[zil2]

19 minutes ago, Traveler said:

Ammonia can cause temporary blindness in a dog when applied directly to their eyes - high doses of ammonia can cause perinate blindness.

If dude couldn't hit any part of the dog with a .45, what makes you think he's going to hit the dog's eyes with a squirt bottle / gun?  (Maybe dude should have stuck with his training and sued the owner.)

[mirkwood]

9 hours ago, Traveler said:

Ammonia can cause temporary blindness in a dog when applied directly to their eyes - high doses of ammonia can cause perinate blindness.

 

The Traveler

Yea, try that with an aggressive dog.  You're going to miss.

[NeuroTypical]

10 hours ago, Traveler said:

Ammonia can cause temporary blindness in a dog when applied directly to their eyes

13 hours ago, zil2 said:

If you're attacked by a house cat, keep one arm free and grab a fistful of skin, repeat until you've got it by it's back.

 

 

I just couldn't help but think about this:

[NeuroTypical]

Seriously though, @zil2's advice is fairly sound, it just can be startlingly difficult to pull off in real life.  My wife was a pet groomer and dog trainer, learned all the tricks, has all the scars, has all the stories.  She got good at blanket-fu, and could turn an explosive cat into a burrito in under a second.  

She tells me by far, the greatest number of injuries she got in the trade, were from the small dogs.  Chihuahuas, teacup poodles, miniature-whatevers.  But those "injuries" only required a bandaid.  The only dog that sent her to the hospital was an Akita.  

Protection training was fun stuff.

[Carborendum]

23 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

The only dog that sent her to the hospital was an Akita.  

Good thing she went to the hospital.  I can only imagine the damage from a dog that knows Aikido.

Oh, Akita...

(Cue Emily Litella) Nevermind...

[zil2]

37 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

it just can be startlingly difficult to pull off in real life.

Yeah, crazed cat is scary (I have only witnessed this 3rd hand - via recordings).  Better to just avoid them.  And if you're not used to cats, it would be even scarier.  I never minded getting scratched up by a kitty in play, whereas I've seen other people react to a simple scratch as if they're going to die.  Those people are the ones kitty would rip to shreds and leave waiting for an ambulance...

37 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

has all the scars

  I have one on my right arm that "split" as I grew - one long portion below the elbow, one on my bicep (that one's hard to see).  Got it from that first cat, at around age 7.

37 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

She got good at blanket-fu

Yes, Douglas Adams was right: "A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have."  Burrito-kitty is very easy to control.

37 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

The only dog that sent her to the hospital was an Akita.

Yikes!

37 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

Protection training was fun stuff.

Doggie good, attack-man bad!

Edited May 9, 2023 by zil2

[Still_Small_Voice]

21 hours ago, Ironhold said:

In the older version of the game?  Depending upon what character class (wizard, fighter, thief, ranger, et cetra) your character is, you can potentially have a mere 4 - 12 hit points when you first start out. 

Housecats? 1 bite for 1 to 6 damage and 4 claw attacks for 1 to 4 damage each, meaning a housecat could hypothetically deliver 22 hit points' worth of damage in a single attack, 44 if it manages a "critical hit" with each of them.  So your average housecat could bring down your average rookie barbarian warrior. 

Daggers did 1 to 4 hit points of damage and short swords did 1 to 6 hit point of damage in edition one of Dungeons & Dragons on man sized creatures.  Who set that damage ability up on a house cat?  That is stupid.  😄

Edited May 9, 2023 by Still_Small_Voice

[Ironhold]

35 minutes ago, Still_Small_Voice said:

Daggers did 1 to 4 hit points of damage and short swords did 1 to 6 hit point of damage in edition one of Dungeons & Dragons on man sized creatures.  Who set that damage ability up on a house cat?  That is stupid.  😄

I'm guessing it was basically "this is what the standard dice sizes are, so..."

[mirkwood]

40 minutes ago, Still_Small_Voice said:

Daggers did 1 to 4 hit points of damage and short swords did 1 to 6 hit point of damage in edition one of Dungeons & Dragons on man sized creatures.  Who set that damage ability up on a house cat?  That is stupid.  😄

[Ironhold]

6 hours ago, mirkwood said:

I remember the damage totals being more intense. 

[mirkwood]

5 minutes ago, Ironhold said:

I remember the damage totals being more intense. 

[zil2]

Ferocious house cats imprison owner:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CqxRU-SpQoB/

(Every cat owner knows the rules - once kitty has taken up residence on your person, you are not allowed to kick them off.)

Edited May 10, 2023 by zil2

[Traveler]

On 5/10/2023 at 8:12 AM, zil2 said:

Ferocious house cats imprison owner:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CqxRU-SpQoB/

(Every cat owner knows the rules - once kitty has taken up residence on your person, you are not allowed to kick them off.)

This is difficult for me.  I do not know why but other people’s pets seem to be overly attracted to me – especially cats.  I really do not like cats or dogs climbing on or over me and I very strongly dislike being licked by dogs (or especially cats.)  I hate it when someone pet rolls over on its back and expects me to even touch their underside.  I really hate having a pet near me when I am sleeping – for some unreasonable reason (especially dogs) love to lick my face when I am sleeping.  These are the primary reasons I do not like being in a home with house pets.

 

The Traveler

[zil2]

27 minutes ago, Traveler said:

This is difficult for me.  I do not know why but other people’s pets seem to be overly attracted to me – especially cats.  I really do not like cats or dogs climbing on or over me and I very strongly dislike being licked by dogs (or especially cats.)  I hate it when someone pet rolls over on its back and expects me to even touch their underside.  I really hate having a pet near me when I am sleeping – for some unreasonable reason (especially dogs) love to lick my face when I am sleeping.  These are the primary reasons I do not like being in a home with house pets.

  Apparently you're not an animal person.  I don't like dogs licking me, but don't mind cats - not that they do it much anyway.  Dogs can be trained out of this.  (I never bothered to try training a cat out of it.)  Dogs can also be trained not to jump on people and not to jump on furniture and not to sleep in your bed with you.  Said training is quite simple if you start when the animal is a puppy.  Cats can be trained to a degree, but rather than teaching them your language (as is done with dogs¹), you have to learn theirs and use it to train them.

¹As I recall, dogs are the only animals that instinctively understand human gestures such as pointing at something.  They really are quite amazing at adapting to their person.  Even chimps don't get this instinctively.

[NeuroTypical]

Heh.  A girl I was dating worked at a pet groomer/training place.  For one date, she walked me into the large empty concrete-floored training arena and made me lie down on the concrete and promise not to move.  She went out a door, and quickly returned, leading 6-7 rottweiler puppies.  They looked confused and bumped into each other for a minute, then saw me and made an immediate beeline for me, yapping happily.  Every exposed bit of me was immediately covered in yapping licking fuzzy blurred-motion teddy bear things.   They also have sharp needle teeth, but that was not much of an issue.

Whenever I think about heaven, and being childlike like Christ tells me to be, I think about that scene. 

(And I married that girl.)

Edited May 11, 2023 by NeuroTypical

[Carborendum]

 

[mirkwood]

Philippians 3:2

 Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.

[Vort]

17 hours ago, mirkwood said:

beware of the concision

'Nuff said.

[Jedi_Nephite]

My wife and I got our daughters a kitten two years ago.  We all love that cat, even though she tried to eat the flowers my kids and I got my wife for Mother’s Day.  
 

Some say cats are evil, but our feline friend was caught reading “The Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley.” See picture below.

 

[zil2]

8 hours ago, Jedi_Nephite said:

We all love that cat, even though she tried to eat the flowers my kids and I got my wife for Mother’s Day.  

  Salads are good for you, you know.

8 hours ago, Jedi_Nephite said:

Some say cats are evil, but our feline friend was caught reading “The Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley.” See picture below.

One of the cats we had when I was a teenager loved to read the bible - as soon as you opened it, she came to join your reading session.

[Jamie123]

I have recently become the sole keeper of two kitty cats: Sir Robwell Odgekin-Bodgekin McBurgelpuss and his sister Dame Willy-Wally-Walkokibblekins McBurgelpuss. At least that's what I've renamed them. I think I'll go on calling them by their old names of Robbie and Willow though. At least for the moment. Otherwise they're going to get very kitty-konfused!

Here's a picture of Sir Robwell:

Edited May 20, 2023 by Jamie123