Not picking on big families but...

[Bini]

How practical is it to have a large family? I guess the definition of "large" might vary but let's say a family with 6 kids or more. How practical is it for the average American family to have such a large family in this upside down (but improving) economy? I mean, how do you even get the whole family into one car for vacation when most vehicles seat 7 but of course these elephant rides are at the high end of the pricing scale, and I'd imagine most folks aren't pay upwards of $70K for a Denali. I wonder if a big family is for everyone, regardless of what's practical, or if there are things a couple needs to chew on before deciding to have a family of 10, for example. For me, "always wanted a big family" isn't reason enough.

[pam]

Of course it's not for everyone.  It's all a matter of personal choice. Those with large families somehow make it work in a lot of cases.

 

Really not for me to say if it's practical or not. Just wasn't my choice.

[estradling75]

If you are basing your decision of the number of kids to have on practicality... then the answer is zero.  Kids are not practical...

 

The decision on the number of kids is based on other things..  with hopefully practicality having a word or two to say

[Guest]

I re-posted this this morning on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/focusonthefamily/photos/a.380277663519.157071.51405613519/10151671812638520/?type=1&theater I hope you can get to it. It pretty much sums it up for me. Of course, we have 5 kids, not 10. We can't afford 10 and I couldn't handle them. Sometimes if friends come places with us we take 2 cars. We don't go on big expensive vacations. But the small ones are fun, and everyday life is rewarding.

 

My cousin has 11 kids. They had a 10-seater passenger van for awhile. Now their oldest kids are starting to get married and go on missions. As was the case with the family of 9 I grew up in, no one has ever lived at home all at the same time. 

 

You prioritize, like anything in life. 

[Lakumi]

How practical is it to have a large family? I guess the definition of "large" might vary but let's say a family with 6 kids or more. How practical is it for the average American family to have such a large family in this upside down (but improving) economy? I mean, how do you even get the whole family into one car for vacation when most vehicles seat 7 but of course these elephant rides are at the high end of the pricing scale, and I'd imagine most folks aren't pay upwards of $70K for a Denali. I wonder if a big family is for everyone, regardless of what's practical, or if there are things a couple needs to chew on before deciding to have a family of 10, for example. For me, "always wanted a big family" isn't reason enough.

 

Having lots of money, I am told children consume food lol

[Guest]

A family of 8 is as practical as a family of 4.

 

There are things that you can't do in a family of 8 that you can do in a family of 4 and there are things that you can do in a family of 8 that you can't do in a family of 4...

 

For example...

You can't pack a family of 8 in one vehicle.  That's not how they do vacations.  For example, my sister-in-law's sister has 7 children ages 3 through 15.  They live in Mississippi.  Her dad in Georgia is getting re-married in 2 weeks.  The boys go with the dad in one car, the girls go with mom in the other car and they meet up in Georgia... but that's only because all of them HAVE TO BE at the wedding.  Usually, they take turns... Either mom and dad take turns or they leave some of the younger kids with a kid over 11 while they vacation for a weekend.  Or a couple kids come with us when we vacation - I took one of them to the Philippines the last time I went.

 

A family is a pure socialist entity...

As a socialist entity, the more members contributing to the family, the better it is.  For example - chores are a breeze.  Chores divided into 8 is much easier than chores divided into 4.  In the Philippines, the older kids work and contribute to the family finances.  Those who are too young to work help with the care of the younger siblings and help around the house.  Usually, the older kid help pay for college of a younger sibling.  The youngest siblings usually get to care for the parents when they retire.  The oldest sibling may have to care for other children the longest... but he gets to have new clothes and stuff.

 

My father is one of 9... In their family they have a lawyer, a general surgeon, two nurses, a school teacher, a chemical engineer, a civil engineer, an electrical engineer, and an architect.  The parents are both school teachers.  Building a house is a family affair.  The surgeon was the mayor of this town (now it's the lawyer).  When we had a medical emergency we went to the Mayor's office.

 

My mom is one of 3 (my grandfather died in the war)... when they need anything, they go ask my dad's siblings...

[Lakumi]

Geez I come from a family of 2. We never had family vacations growing up (my mom hates camping) Though we finally convinced her to go when I was 22.

I think the stories my mom tells about her family are fine enough, the mere concept of having that many siblings (or heaven forbid having that many children) is scary.

[Dravin]

How practical is it to have a large family? I guess the definition of "large" might vary but let's say a family with 6 kids or more. How practical is it for the average American family to have such a large family in this upside down (but improving) economy? I mean, how do you even get the whole family into one car for vacation when most vehicles seat 7 but of course these elephant rides are at the high end of the pricing scale, and I'd imagine most folks aren't pay upwards of $70K for a Denali. I wonder if a big family is for everyone, regardless of what's practical, or if there are things a couple needs to chew on before deciding to have a family of 10, for example. For me, "always wanted a big family" isn't reason enough.

 

A Toyota Sienna only costs ~$27,000 and seats up to 8 people, and nothing states you must fit everyone in the same car. A pair of Honda Civics are a lot cheaper than the $70,000 Denali (why are you comparing against a luxury SUV?), and that's without getting into the possibility of used vehicles.

[MorningStar]

Now that my relatives are getting older, I am so grateful my grandma had 8 children.  Three of them passed away and two of them don't live close to her at all.  Recently we moved her into an assisted living home and had to do a ton of work to downsize, plus deal with her crankiness.  It was great that her three kids in the area could take turns dealing with her because she was being a huge pain!

 

Then there is my aunt and uncle who never had any kids.  They are struggling with health issues and there's no one who can take care of them on a regular basis.  They aren't to the point where they need to be in homes, but things are definitely getting harder for them.

[Palerider]

We had 4 kids and we always had to watch the budget and plan for things. I would imagine the same thing for a family with 6 kids.

[Connie]

You do a lot of praying, trust in the Lord to provide, work hard and keep the commandments to the best of your ability.  Things tend to work out.

[notquiteperfect]

My parents had 11 kids.  There were some pretty lean years (= higher stress level...) but my dad did whatever odd jobs he could to make ends meet and mom was frugal.  A major key was that they also served in whatever way they were asked, always paid their tithing and did their best to live the Gospel and raise us to do the same.  As far as a car - it was a station wagon but mom mentioned more than once that they wouldn't have been able to have as many kids with all the laws nowadays (carseats, no child in front seat...). Also, we all didn't live in the same house at the same time (oldest was married when youngest was born, others at college).  It can be done but it's not for the faint of heart.

Also, mission cars/vans are the way to go and definitely not $70k.

[Guest]

We had 4 kids and we always had to watch the budget and plan for things. I would imagine the same thing for a family with 6 kids.

 

It's the same for a family with 2 kids too...

 

Although, I only have 2 because of health reasons.  If not for that, I'd have a dozen. 

[NeuroTypical]

Our catholic neighbors recently moved, and I am sad.  They were up to 9 (I think) children.  They have a stretch van that seated everyone.  Their house was a standard 3 bedroom 2 bath - lots of bunk beds /w double occupancy.

 

Practical or impractical seems to spring from one's desired lifestyle.  It's not like they took a lot of vacations.  They seemed very content, well-behaved, happy, well adjusted, clean, and all the other words I wish I could always claim for my own family of 4.  They were always thrilled to death to come swarming over to our house and sweep away our 10 yr old in a big tidal wave of giggling girls.  

 

Their oldest daughter turned 13, mom did the math and discovered that this was the last time in her life that she'd have fewer than 3 teenagers in the house for the next decade or so.  Such things are not for the faint of heart, but they seemed to be doing very well. 

[Palerider]

It's the same for a family with 2 kids too...

 

Although, I only have 2 because of health reasons.  If not for that, I'd have a dozen. 

I meant to convey that as well.....you are correct.

[Iggy]

I had 6 siblings - we never went on vacations. We went to my Uncles house in Snohomish, WA (we lived in Ballard, WA) three Saturdays a month. Excluding Oct, Nov, Dec, Jan & Feb. Roads were just too nasty to risk 10 lives in a car.

 

Mom's mother lived with us, and no she never helped financially. She helped some with chores, cooking and laundry.

 

We all had chores to do. Starting at age 5, you did chores. At 5 yrs old, you dry mopped the floors, folded laundry and even ironed pillow cases and handkerchiefs. We did not have fabric carpeting, so there was no vacuuming until my last two years in High School, when my oldest 3 siblings went together and bought Mom & Dad a large area rug for the living room for their anniversary. That thing needed vacuuming! Grandma and Mom's two brothers bought the vacuum cleaner. 

 

On holidays - like Memorial Day, we all got into the station wagon and we went into the woods where there was a lake. Mom and Grandma had cooked fried chicken, potato & macaroni salads, we each had a whole tomato, whole cucumber and handful of radishes. We played in the nearby woods, swam (or floated in an inner tube), ate and got sunburned. 

 

Mom, Grandma and all of us kids fell asleep on the way home. I don't know where we went- but I absolutely loved those Away (away from the house and our own backyard)  Picnics. We never locked our house either! No need to, the neighbors would never let anyone to walk into our house when we all were not there. 

 

Mom was a mother, wife and keeper of all things dealing with the house. Daddy was a father, husband, & worked one job. Grandma worked as a cook at a Nursing Home and she lived with us. 

 

Mom cooked nearly everything from scratch. The elbow macaroni was purchased, all other noodles were from scratch. It wasn't until I was a Junior in High School that she was introduced to envelope mixes and boxed meals. She abandoned her way of making spaghetti & lasagna sauces and used the envelope mixes. She also much preferred to use cake mixes, though she still made the 'From Scratch' birthday cakes (Angel Food, Chiffon and Dad's favorite Lady Baltimore cake with 7 minute frosting and date/nuts/raisin filling. 

 

If Dad hadn't of worked at Pacific Fruit and Produce, we would probably have grown our own vegetables and found more places where we could have gleaned for the fruit.

 

Mom, Grandma and us girls made our own clothes. Daddy taught us girls how to knit socks, and how to darn them. I was not skilled at that. I could do scarves, IF you really didn't care what it looked like   Mom was extremely skilled at taking clothes others gave us and remaking them into outfits for us younger, smaller kids. She accepted clothes even if they were too old for us kids, because she was going to re-make them. Grandma laid us down on the floor, on top of newpaper that was taped together. Marked our shapes from the knees up, and use that to make patterns for aprons. At home we always wore aprons over our clothes. The aprons came off at the exterior door when we went outside to play, and at the stairs as we went up to bed. I always forgot to take mine off before leaving for grade school - so I ended up wearing mine all day long. 

 

My most comfortable winter coat was cut down from a 'cape' style coat given to Mom. It was two people too big for her, She made me a sleeved, button up coat and a button up, collared. long sleeve jacket for our youngest sister, and a pair of dress up slacks for our little brother. 

[Lakumi]

Reading that, for some reason, reminded me of The Waltons... that was a good show.

[prisonchaplain]

I mean, how do you even get the whole family into one car for vacation when most vehicles seat 7 but of course these elephant rides are at the high end of the pricing scale, and I'd imagine most folks aren't pay upwards of $70K for a Denali.

 

I found this for under $10K.  It's a 2007 Chevy Express 12-passenger.  I guess I solved this string.  Yay me!

 

[Palerider]

I found this for under $10K.  It's a 2007 Chevy Express 12-passenger.  I guess I solved this string.  Yay me!

 

It's not the right color......:))

[classylady]

My husband and I had seven kids.  We had a mini van that seated seven though there were nine of us total.  Car seats weren't the law until the younger children were born.  Finances were always tight.  I did what I could to bring in extra money like babysitting from my home, or at times I worked full time.  I would put money aside on a regular basis so we could go on vacations.  It was a priority for me.  We managed to go to Disneyland several times.  A lot of our vacations were visiting relatives out-of-state or going camping.  When our oldest daughter graduated from High School, we rented a large 15 psg. van and went to Great Basin Nat'l Park, Yellowstone, Canada, Glacier Nat'l Park, Seattle, Mt. St. Helens, Oregon, and then down the cost of California to San Francisco and Sacramento.  Then back over to Utah.  It was a wonderful vacation.  And, I knew it was going to be the last one we had as a whole family.  A few years later when I went to work for a major airlines, my older children were already out of the house.  The younger kids were able to travel internationally because of my flight benefits.  We learned to travel inexpensively.

 

As for providing for the family:  Our home is a moderate 2400 sq. ft.  But, it has six bedrooms.  The basement was unfinished when we bought it, and over time we have finished bedrooms as needed.  Now, whether if we had two children or the seven, we would be in the same house.  So, mortgage would have been the same.  We had our mini van, and usually one other vehicle.  Church was within walking distance, and except for that and vacations, or driving to visit Grandparents, we didn't need to be all in one vehicle.  Food and clothing would of course be more expensive for a larger family than a smaller family. But, you don't need designer clothes to be well dressed.  And, you don't need to eat steak for every meal.  I learned to cook casseroles, which by the way, my husband does not like, but he learned to eat them.

 

Also, on the practical side of things, I did not over schedule my life or my children's.  We couldn't afford it for one thing.  They did manage to have swim lessons, piano lessons, and some of them played sports.  When we had some really bad financial problems, all lessons were stopped because we were unable to afford them.  But, I think my children would say, thank you for giving us birth, we didn't need all the sports, music, or dance lessons.

 

Is it practical to have a large family in this day?  Practical may not be the correct word.  It's do-able.  My son and his wife are expecting their sixth.  And both of them are attending school full time right now.  My daughter-in-law will be taking a short break after the baby is born, and then she'll be back in school.  Now, their children are spaced a lot closer together than mine were.  With most of my kids, I had a three year space and one four year space.  They have about a two year space between all their kids.  So, to me their house is more hectic than mine was.  Their oldest is nine, and with the kids as young as they are, they don't go through too much food, yet.  Just wait until they are teenagers!  Diapers is one of their biggest expenses right now, but that won't be forever.  They are struggling financially, but managing.  I think even if they had one or two kids, it would still be a struggle financially.  That's why they are both in school.  They want to better their financial situation.

 

For me, a large family was what I always wanted.  I came from a large family, and so did my husband.  On my mother's side of the family I have an Uncle and Aunt who had 14 children, another Aunt and Uncle that had 12.  As a kid, my favorite place to visit was my Aunt and Uncle's house with the 14 children.  There was always something happening, and it was so fun.

 

I'm not an empty-nester yet, but almost.  My home is so quiet without all the kids and their friends coming and going.  I miss it.  This week I've been able to watch my 16-month-old grandson while his mama is in So. Korea visiting her older sister.  I love the snuggle time with the baby.  I love his little happy dance when he sees me.  I love his fresh baby smell right after a bath.  I love it when he wants me to hold him.  I love watching him play.  I love to see the progress he has made, just in the week I've had him. These are things that I miss from when I was a young mother.  And, because I was blessed with more than one or two children I had the joy of seeing the magic of childhood multiple times.  Are children a lot of work?  Yes.  But, to me, so worth it.  Children are a wonderful blessing.

 

My heart is so full with the love for my own children and my grandchildren.  I can't imagine not having the children that I had.  In some ways I wish I could have had at least one more.  But, by the time I was 39 when I had the last, my body had had enough, and I almost lost the last pregnancy.  We were so blessed to have had that last baby, and he has been such a joy.  And, I was attending college full time when I had him.  I don't feel like I missed out on anything by having the family that I did.  I would do it all over again in-a-heartbeat.

[mirkwood]

 

How practical is it to have a large family?

 

 

I just don't think this has any bearing on family size.  People have the number of kids that is right for them.  For us that was two.  Practicality never entered the equation.

[The Folk Prophet]

Having a large family is like any other valuable trial. It's hard, but it brings great joy. This is the gospel. We sacrifice, we give, we work, we suffer -- all to have joy.

 

I agree with those who say that practicality is irrelevant -- at least in terms of what most people mean when they say practicality. We should be wise in the size of our families. But if we're limiting our family size so we can afford vacations? Hmm...maybe the priorities aren't quite straight there.

 

In general, we should have as many children as we can. What defines "as we can" is up to the husbands and wives. But as a general rule, we should favor looking to increase our family size and sacrifice to that end rather than the other way around.

[mordorbund]

I found this for under $10K.  It's a 2007 Chevy Express 12-passenger.  I guess I solved this string.  Yay me!

 

 

That's a great church van PC. How much does it cost to attach the loudspeaker to play "Amazing Grace"?

 

You might need a whole fleet. Not so much to get people to services, but I hear there's a lot of people looking for a ride home after one of your sermons....... (you might need to paint "laundry" in big letters on the side to make it work)

[beefche]

How practical is it to have a large family? I guess the definition of "large" might vary but let's say a family with 6 kids or more. How practical is it for the average American family to have such a large family in this upside down (but improving) economy? I mean, how do you even get the whole family into one car for vacation when most vehicles seat 7 but of course these elephant rides are at the high end of the pricing scale, and I'd imagine most folks aren't pay upwards of $70K for a Denali. I wonder if a big family is for everyone, regardless of what's practical, or if there are things a couple needs to chew on before deciding to have a family of 10, for example. For me, "always wanted a big family" isn't reason enough.

 

 

Bini, your post implies that it is this economy or this time period that should make couples wary of large families.  Why is this time period any different than another time period?  Why would it be ok for couples 100 years ago to have large families--what's changed that would preclude a large family?

[classylady]

Bini, your post implies that it is this economy or this time period that should make couples wary of large families.  Why is this time period any different than another time period?  Why would it be ok for couples 100 years ago to have large families--what's changed that would preclude a large family?

 

Beefche, I like what you say.  We are actually in a very affluent time, much more than ever before.  Sure, the economy has it's ups and downs, but for 1st World Countries, we have so much.  If anything, I would say this is an awesome time to have large families.

 

If we worry about what private school our children are going to attend: 1st World problem.

If we worry about what college are children will be accepted to: 1st World problem.

If we worry about what sports team/league our children will be in: 1st World problem.

If we worry about designer labels: 1st World problem.

If we worry about having a bedroom for each child: 1st World problem.

If we worry about having two sinks or one in the master bath: 1st World problem.

If we worry about a walk-in closet or a smaller one: 1st World problem.

If we worry about having a two-car garage, or three: 1st World problem.

If we worry about driving a mini-van, SUV, or station wagon: 1st World problem.

If we worry about what disposable diapers to use: 1st World problem.

If we throw out much of our food due to buying too much and it going to waste: 1st World problem.

 

This list could go on and on.  And, I'm sure everyone could add to it.  The crux of the matter, when it comes to choosing family size, it should be between the couple and the Lord.  I know that for me, I would not like to get to the other side of the veil and find out that because of selfish reasons of restricting my family size, I was kept out of the Celestial kingdom.