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I have learned in life that in general when you lend someone something to just let it go and to not expect it back. Ask for it back, but don't expect it back. I generally don't lend something unless I can afford to replace it.

Do they have a legal/moral reason for keeping them? Are they claiming them as an offset for a debt you owe them or maintenance they did on your condo, for example? If not, I'd sue them in small claims court and report them to local police. Yeah, you were a bit of a schmuck; but this is still thievery and they WILL do it to someone else, because that's the kind of people they are. (Right?). I submit that you might have a moral obligation to their future victims. If you won't stop them, then who will? (As for the original question: no-brainer to me. They swindled you; the relationship's over. You don't need to get all dramatic and tell them why it's over; but you sure as heck don't need to seek out their company anymore. Let them fade out of your life.)

I look at it differently.....Yes. I wouldn't be happy about not getting it back....however.....I would want to forgive them so the sin if any is on their head and not mine....there could always be a time in your life when your all in the Temple and the same time and in the same session and you wouldn't want this to detract from your growth..

Sure, but that philosophy allows you to not end the relationship. Here's my way of lending things: Can I afford to lend this? If I lend it and never get it back, is it worth losing this relationship? Am I willing to not be resentful or angry if this person(s) never gives/pays it back? If I can answer those questions, then I can choose to either lend it or not based on my answers. And if I never get it back, I've already decided to not lose the relationship over it, so I don't have to worry about it.

I think so. Trust is to be earned. Sounds like any trust was broken. I can't have a relationship with someone I have lost trust with.

This isn't over a washer & dryer. You did a favor for someone. Who has now, instead of being grateful for that favor, (much less returning the favor), has spit in your face. It's not petty, it's; Thank GOODNESS you've learned what kind of people these individuals are in such an inexpensive venue. They have no respect for you, your trust, your belongings, or the effort & length you are willing to go to & through for your friends. To me, friendship is about equality. There's, give, flow back and forth between individuals in a relationship. While my friends and I differ in many ways, when that dynamic changes (or doesn't exist in the first place) the friendship ceases. There may still be a relationship of some kind, but there is no more friendship. I will not do for them any more than I would do for some random stranger. And if they've hurt me, or mine? Then it's a step lower. Just because I've ended a friendship, after learning that a person isn't my friend... Doesn't make them my enemy. Actively trying to hurt me or mine, does. Standards. Those whom we choose to associate with, much less choose to trust, need to meet the bare minimum. Q

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-reaches-milestone-vietnam In a ceremony Friday morning at the Church branch facility in Hanoi, Mr. Pham Dung, chairman of the Vietnam Government Committee for Religious Affairs (CRA) presented the official national certification to Church leaders, members, and friends. Chairman Pham Dung was joined by other members of the Committee on Religious Affairs and other Vietnam government officials. Eni Faleomavaega, the former chairman and current ranking member of the U.S. House Foreign Affairs’ Subcommittee on Asia and the Pacific, sent a congratulatory letter, which was read at the ceremony. It expressed appreciation to the government of Vietnam and its leaders, with whom Faleomavaega and Church officials have worked closely. Find out what this means by reading the article. It's fantastic news.

LOL... I'm not even an investigator (converted a few years back)... And I still have the missionaries over once or twice a week! - Partly it's because I'm young-ISH (Peter-Pan kind of family. The 70+ crowd is going mountain climbing this weekend, the 30-40s & Teens are heading to a Campout Concert, the elementary aged parents are going paintballing. We're all active & chatty... Which means we tend to "attract" a lot of teens & 20 something's.) - Partly it's because -when I cook- I cook for an army. I end up with a lot of my college neighbors coming over to potluck BBQ in the summer, or Soup-Luck in the winter. This is a combo of the youngish + food. - Partly it's because I'm a single mom. ANY of those 3 issues rate having missionaries over fairly often. Either because they relate personality-wise (and they're people. The ones I especially gel with tend to stop by just to chat towards the end of the day, just because their days are hard sometimes), or because 20 year old guys are perpetually starving, or because as a single parent there's often a lot of stuff I don't necessarily "need" help with, but that I'm grateful for that help. And ALSO because missionaries are our "full time priests". I don't have a priesthood holder in my house, so it's either the missionaries job, or my HT/VTs job to make sure that spiritually things are copesetic. So DONT convert just to "get rid" of them! You're young, so there's going to be commonality. You don't hold the priesthood, so there may be spiritual needs to be addressed at a lower level than the Bishop. Like the field of dreams,.. If you feed them, they will come (Ahem. Following my divorce I was ramen-broke. There have been months where I didn't have enough for myself, much less others. Missionaries aren't vultures. But if you invite them over FOR food? It's like that sandwich commercial.) They won't be over every day, or anywhere as often as when you're investigating, and you can definitely hermit up post converting (we have a few converts who just aren't very social)... Or you can maintain a level of social interaction with them. After converting it's pretty much your choice of how active & involved you are with different areas of the church. I happen to end up as a missionary-hub more often than not. Which is why what you wrote cracked me up. It's not a requirement, by any means, though! Q

I would highly suggest using a Private Investigator due to the extensive nature of the search. Using different names over a 20 year period with a long rap sheet would be difficult for even those online services to track down everything entirely. A Private Investigator will have connections, pull strings, and get you every detail and piece of information he or she can from those case files. Normally I am all for being proactive and gathering information on your own accord but with that extensive amount of information I think it would be best to rely on a professional. Just my two cents.

...can't now...because we wouldn't know who to seal to whom. But these sealings will have to be done by proxy by someone at some point. Ordinances must be done in mortality.

I still wonder what those will do who don't have those devices.

To the tri force! (that's what I call my scriptures)

What about . . . Oh, say, a wedding photographer? Let 'em all work, I say; and let ''em be open and honest about their prejudices. The free market will sort out 90% of the rest of it.

I felt impressed to write this. Sticks and Stones - A Parable

You can do missionary work with the electronic media....there will never be a Internet Ward...My opinion

I know here in the part of the Midwest I live in ....Hastening the Work won't be going away soon....it's here to stay for awhile

Transistor radios

I do like oatmeal with raisins and mix honey in with it.

Welcome and I am looking forward to getting to know you.

I wouldn't end the relationship, just put this in the memory bank and know that this is the quality of those individuals. When I lend stuff just like the Poster I am quoting said I don't expect it back, this is why I lend nothing. Think of it like this you now have an out to never loan anyone anything. If they ask why share your experience and you now have a hard and fast rule to not loan. No hard feelings it is just that way.

When I'm eating eggs, I do something similar (w/o the meat). Just piping in to say that you can make a batch and eat them the next day or two, so you can make them when you are awake, but eat them when you are sleepy.

That's probably exactly what I would do.

Nahhh you won't get in trouble. Yep I love that series but it's not for everyone.

"The Standard of Truth has been erected. No unhollowed hand can stop the work from progressing. Persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame... but the truth of God will go forth Boldly, Nobly and Independent... til it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every year... till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the Great Jehovah shall say: 'The work is done.'" - Joseph Smith Jr.

I don't understand how you see MWS as an extreme group. Their mission statement reads: Mormon Women Stand is a collaborative online effort to join like-minded female members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who share a desire to make a public stand as witnesses of Jesus Christ and in support of 'The Family: A Proclamation to the World'. We believe standing together will reflect the divine nature and power that LDS women are endowed with to influence others for good. We unequivocally sustain the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles—commissioned by God and sustained as prophets, seers, and revelators. We support how the Lord has delegated priesthood authority to organize and administer the gospel among all of His children. What is wrong with a group that is standing together for the beliefs that many women in the church hold and that is supporting our leaders, supporting the Proclamation to the World regarding families and supporting the Priesthood as was organized here on earth under the direction of Jesus Christ himself?

Wingy, why do you feel if a boss (or someone with authority over you) compliments your physical appearance is harrassment? Obviously, if one feels uncomfortable with the compliment, then that is an issue. But, to make a blanket statement that something as benign as "that's a nice blouse" equates to harrassment confuses me. And for the record, I don't mind catcalls....on the other hand, the mooing is disturbing....

I admit, coming from an LDS perspective, I do find this view to be restrictive. If God just created us, and there's a huge line between creator and created, if we're never be like Him; if He just created us to Love us.... The situation you describe reminds me of a child with his toys: created just to be loved (and indeed are cherished) but a toy will never be more than a toy--- it's only role is to be played with by the kid. Am I off base? Admittedly, I am trying to understand by struggling to. How does the above view make us God's children?

Oh boy, I've got a TON of experience with this topic. I am NOT a feminist. I do NOT wish to receive the priesthood, but I DO wish to be treated with respect and dignity as a women in the church. As a stake primary president my stake president told the women attending the stake council that we were not allowed to speak, not allowed to address issues in the meeting (unlike the men) and when I opened the handbook to read that we were to bring our concerns to discussion to this meeting, I was told, "I don't know what more women in the church can do than shake hands, pat backs, and be cheerleaders." At the next stake meeting, the women were no longer allowed to sit around the high council table - we were asked to sit in chairs at the back of the room. One bad experience? Oh no..... How about a man who during church had me backed against a wall in the hallway, in public, while he berated me - in my face, pointing a finger, threatening me - and then calling other men over to 'join' him in a gang-like verbal attack, because this man felt I had 'offended' his wife. No action was taken against the man or men. In fact, I was the one who was told I was in the wrong- even though I said and did nothing during the incident. The men, including the Bishop, surrounded these men as part of their 'club' protecting one another and blaming me. NEVER is it appropriate for a priesthood holder to act in this manner. Or a Bishop who threatened to not give me a temple recommend because I suffer from depression (therefore something is wrong with me). When I asked him if there was no room in the Kingdom of God for those who struggle with mental issues his reply was, 'there's not room for all of them.' Or the Bishop who I went to to share the sorrow and fear of my husband being deployed into Iraq. I begged him for help and support. I asked him to please 'keep track of me.' I never heard from him again. Or the time as a RS president I sat in ward council and brought up some serious issues our sisters in the ward were struggling with. The counselor in the bishopric said, "the women are taking too much time in the meeting, can their have their own welfare meeting without us so we can leave?" Or the member of the bishopric who use to come up and stroke and touch my hair and arm and make comments that made me, and other women uncomfortable. We went to the Bishop to tell him our experiences. Two weeks later this man was called to be a High Counselor - his actions only increased. Or how about the home teachers that NEVER show up -- I mean, does the HT program still even exist? Or the Bishop who saw me putting in sprinklers (by myself because my husband was deployed). I'm reading online instructions, having a few problem with it, and he said, "wow, looks like a lot of work, have fun!" and then he drove off. Or how about the time a bishop called my husband in and asked him how it felt to be the head of a less-active family? Confused, my husband said, "what?" I had had a surgery that didn't go well, was down for over 2 months, and then went in for another surgery - which didn't go well, then another surgery and finally I had spent 18 days in the hospital with infection and complications. When my husband replied that I had been in the hospital the Bishop replied, "it doesn't take that long for a women to get over a hysterectomy, it's not that complicated!" His RS president was well aware of my complications. Or how about the time I hear from several other ward member what I had shared in confidence with the Bishop about a problem one of our children was having. When I went to the Bishop.... he said, 'HE gets to determine what is confidential and what is not.' Not me, it is HIS priesthood responsibility to discern that... not mine. I could go on and on and on and on...... Being military we've moved every 2 years on average. We've attended 15 different wards in our married life. I've seen it over and over and over..... the brethren mistreat women, they 'hang' together in a male 'club' protecting each other, they ignore, demean, degrade, and punish women. This is only a SMALL sampling of what we have experienced. Do I think they have all done it on purpose? No. Some of them are just ignorant. Others don't understand the gospel. Still others have allowed their priesthood power and position to go to their heart and create pride. Have I gone inactive? No. Why?? Because I have a testimony of he restored gospel. Attending church for me.... has not one thing to do with being 'social' it is all about obedience to my God and worshiping Him. I might add, the way the brethren act is despicable, it is evil when they are in positions over us and use that position to put women 'in their place' or to 'punish or ignore' our tender hearts. BUT..... I can't say that the women treat each other much different. They gossip, backbite, they are threatened by other sisters.... they do anything but ban together to add support and uplift. Yes, there are exceptions, but I find them to be increasingly more rare. Always being the "NEW" woman (or family) in the ward gives us a different perspective as everyone quickly lets you know what 'kingdom' is THEIRS in the ward. THEIR kingdom of friends, THEIR kingdom of reputation for being the 'crafty' one, THEIR kingdom of their calling. etc. Continually being the 'new' one, in some wards... we don't even stand a chance. I have great concern about how we as saints are to endure what prophecies are coming about our times being more and more chaotic. We are told to find refuge in our wards and stakes. More than not, we have found that our wards and stakes ARE the chaos in our lives. The drama, the personal kingdom building. The unrighteous dominion. We've come to realize that we need to look outside the church for more like minded people for support and fellowship and friendship. We've come to understand that we must rely more on ourselves and our relationship with our Heavenly Father to fill our needs, guidance, direction and revelation. I will NEVER go to my priesthood leader again for help of any sort. They've proven fairly consistently that they are NOT trust worthy individuals. It's not the gospel that is the problem. The Savior has taught us... I'm just not sure the majority of the members are listening anymore.

We are looking forward to getting to know you too. Welcome!

Sounds like you'd love love love Elmore Leonard's style of writing. He's written something like a gazillion (okay, more like 40 or 50, so not that many) books, although so many of them have been turned into films & tv series it seems like more (Get Shorty, Justified, etc.). He's almost pathological about using as little description as possible. Actors & Directors love him, because his stories create these huge outlines for them to play in. Readers split 50/50. Between those who love/need imagery in a story, and those who hate it and skip over. Q

Welcome aboard!

This may be an opinion? Do you have a way to demonstrate the validity of this opinion. Without question religion is a major factor in human evolution. The assumption that human society would evolve values without religion is ignoring the historical facts. I am not sure that human could even evolve intelligence without evolving religion. Can you point to any civilization that evolved values without some contact with religion? We may speculate over which came first but then that is speculation. I do not believe that one can evolve without the other. Do you have any examples that prove otherwise?

I would be interested in updates as the OP progresses through some of the suggestions. If that's the direction he wants to go. Which is sounds like it is. My suggestion to the OP is to not take divorce off the table. Think about the example that is being set for your children, is your relationship with your wife the example of a relationship that you would like them to be in when they grow up and choose their eternal companions? Like it or not you have a very big influence on their decision making process. If you think that they do not notice you and your wife's issues you would be mistaken. 3 years without sexual relations? This is unacceptable, granted we are only getting one side of the story here so we can give the OP a 50% discount on whatever he tells us, but a "reasonable" person perspective says that issues lie deeper than house keeping and weight. Lets be honest women are not as focused on the visual side of sex as men are and 25lbs are pretty easy to look past so that excuse flies right out the window for me, it also sounds like the OP already helps keep the house up. So he gets up and goes to work all day to provide for his family, comes home helps around the house, and I'm sure still finds time to spend with the kids, is still sexually attracted to his wife aka wants to have relations.....hmmmmmm run this by a reasonable woman and she would say your a great guy. You have a roommate who does not like you. I would not live with someone who does not like me I would be willing to bet that if you lost the 25 lbs and kept a perfect house, took her out to dinner/movies weekly you still would not get "lucky". Marriages are a 2 way street you can do all of these things and more but if she has emotionally checked out your done for.

PC. As I have read some of the posts of this thread there is something blatantly missing. We must also realize that any person that is involved in supporting gay marriage cannot be considered a unprejudiced lawyer or judge for any citizen opposed to gay marriage in a court of law. When political correctness becomes included in the law - of necessity the law becomes prejudiced and biased.

The problem is that western society is moving from punishing an individual’s actions/behavior to punishing a person for his thoughts or beliefs. We have a history of discriminating against people just for how they looked, and you think its progress to punish someone because of what they think? This group made a covenant agreeing to keep their sexual activity within the bounds of heterosexual marriage and now they are being prevented from practicing law? A covenant to honor heterosexual marriage…sounds awful familiar. How long before Mormons are banned from employment in Canada because they too make this same covenant? When it comes to LDS it’s not par for course and the shoe is on the other foot. Our people had to flee their country because our beliefs and behavior were not tolerated. There are no new victims here..it’s just the same old ones. My hope is that one day people in these groups with their self-righteous indignations and demand for historical reparations and “victim” rights will look in the mirror and recognize the face of evil.

I don't really know anything about Parkour, but the 45 seconds of reading I just did tell me that Parkour's foundations are in safety. It's not just "jumping around rooftops" -- it's trained jumping around rooftops. Doesn't mean that he won't get hurt, but that if he does, it's likely because he's not following his training correctly. But you know what? He'll get hurt in any sport he does.