Leaderboard

Of course you realize that we'll next find out that this has nothing to do with libido and the OP is trying to decide whether or not to take the doctors' suggestion to drink tea.

I agree with MOE's approach generally, and sympathize with you (even though I don't agree 100%) here as well--up to your last sentence. To say that no one can define the baptismal covenants or covenantal obligations like obedience, or chastity, or consecration; is to come awfully close to a) hamstringing the Church's ability to teach any kind of absolute morality--about anything; and b ) undermine the authority of those whose stewardship it is to evaluate our covenant-keeping (bishops and stake presidents, for example). I can visualize suggesting that under the OP's circumstances it may be a necessary evil (though part of me is thinking, really? Exactly what credible medical organization has indicated masturbation as a medically necessary treatment for anything?); but in my book suggesting it's not even evil (or only subjectively so) goes way too far and (pardon the pun) sows the seed for a lot of unhappiness and heartache for those who take such advice.

The covenant I feel I have made is to have sexual relations only with the person to whom I am married. I can see how people believe that masturbation is not included in that covenant, but I can also understand the interpretation that such relations are meant to be kept between the spouses, and so masturbation would be disqualified. My personal feelings are that, generally, masturbation is out (I am not married to myself). But I don't really care to debate the topic with people. The covenant wording itself is ambiguous and so I'll let people choose for themselves*. Once you start talking about the issue within a marriage, I think it gets a lot murkier, but that's a topic for a board that no longer exists on this site. * I would point out, however, that there is a large body of evidence from general authorities speaking against masturbation (usually directed toward single members, but much being applicable to married members as well). But I"m also willing to grant people the liberty to determine for themselves if that is culturally biased or not.

Not everyone that drinks alcohol is an an alcoholic... although some are Not everyone that consumes porn is a sex addict... although some are However the church taught answer to both is zero, none, don't do it. It also teaches that we can recover if we mess up the through the atonement of Christ. How we go about helping someone apply the atonement and what people need to effectively apply the atonement is going to vary quite a bit. And that is were it appears this discussion is all over the place. People are giving answers that can work depending on the situation and don't work in different cases. We just need to understand that when it comes to applying the atonement the details must be handed according to the individual situations.

Wow. What a great talk. My favorite thought from this talk: "Christlike love is the greatest need we have on this planet in part because righteousness was always supposed to accompany it. So if love is to be our watchword, as it must be, then by the word of Him who is love personified, we must forsake transgression and any hint of advocacy for it in others. Jesus clearly understood what many in our modern culture seem to forget: that there is a crucial difference between the commandment to forgive sin (which He had an infinte capacity to do) and the warning against condoning it (which He never ever did even once). ...Pure Christlike love flowing from true righteousness can change the world." I never really gave much thought to this truth. This is an important connection between Christlike love and righteousness that gets forgotten all too often. I think this really needed to be said.

I'm going to be very open in this post. Please forgive the bluntness if it offends you. My first memory of pornography use was when I was five years old. My grandmother exposed me to the pornographic material so she could "teach me" when she sexually abused me. Growing up I was regularly viewing pornography. As I got older (10-11 years old) almost any time I was hanging out with my stepdad it would include us sitting down and watching some porn films he had or viewing magazines. He would show me all sort of pornographic material. Was my reason for viewing porn about sex? As an adult I struggled with feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, and despair. I would have feelings of anxiety. I would have bouts of depression. My medicine was viewing pornography and masturbating. I struggled with this cycle for years and years. I hated myself. I felt horrible every time I would view and masturbate. I would try to stop but I was ignorant of my own issues and what was driving me. I kept blaming myself for being a pervert. That I was just a worthless sexual deviant. My wife felt betrayed and devastated. She was scared that I was a pedophile and that I would eventually begin killing women (seriously). She thought she wasn't good enough for me. She thought I was doing it because I didn't find her attractive or that I wanted other women. She was wrong. I couldn't make her understand that she was wrong. I gave up trying and so that I wouldn't hurt her I didn't ever want to speak to her about it. When I would fail, again, I wouldn't speak to my wife about it because I just didn't want to be kicked while I was down. I already knew how horrible it was. I already knew that I was a loser (or so I thought). But I also knew that I didn't look at pornography and masturbate because my wife was not good enough or that I wanted other women. I was not a pedophile. I wasn't going to kill somebody. I didn't abuse my children. I didn't want to have sex with other women. Finally I came to realize that what happened to me as a child was wrong and that I wasn't to blame for it. I finally began to realize that the reason I was doing these things was because of the distress, anxiety, and stress that I was feeling inside. My way of coping with these things through pornography was just a natural and inevitable extension of my childhood. When I view pornography there was a rush that helped me deal with my feelings. It was an escape. During that time a fire would consume me and I couldn't stop until that fire was extinguished. Here is the truth: Every sin will keep us from the Celestial Kingdom. We ought to warn people to stay away from porn because it can become a trap that is difficult to escape from. When I found out my son looked at some risqué images I didn't condemn him to hell or freak out or get irrational fears or think that all was lost. I did rant and rave about how horrible it was. I didn't preach to him that he is a sinner. I knew that he already felt horrible. I taught him about repentence with gentleness and with empathy. I told him it isn't the end of the world. He isn't a special class of sinner and worse than others. I told him that he can repent and he can have peace. I warned him about the dangers of pornography and giving in to lustful thoughts. I continue to teach him and help him to make good decisions. In the end we are all full of sin. If anyone denies this because they don't struggle with pornography or some other more "serious" sin they are delusional and fooling themselves. It is easy to say that I may judge another because my sins (supposedly) aren't as bad as theirs but that is a mistake and a precarious position to take and it is utterly useless in almost all cases insofar as helping those who are struggling with addictions. Viewing pornography is NOT the end of the world. It does not make someone more sinful than those who only commit so called "little sins". This is another lie from the adversary. Viewing pornography is no more breaking a covenant than making unrighteous judgments are or not showing empathy and kindness towards the sinners of the world. EVERY SIN YOU COMMIT MAKES YOU A COVENANT BREAKER, PERIOD. POINTING OUT THAT PORNO USERS ARE COVENANT BREAKERS AND ARE SINNERS IS SPECIAL PLEADING AND HYPOCRITICAL. I can guarantee that those who make such statements are sinners just as I am. The Church deals with pornography in the correct way. Many church members do not. Many lay leaders do not. It is my experience that church members treat pornography and pornography addicts with an undue level of judgmentalism because they are filled with inaccurate and false notions. There is a large level ignorance when it comes to this subject matter and it is manifest on these boards and in the wards and branches that I have been a part of. This is a fact because it is my experience. There is an undue amount of special pleading. I have talked to many other members who have struggled with pornography issues who have experienced the same judgmentalism, ostracism, and misunderstanding from wives, members, and leaders as I have. This is not universal and it isn't in every case. I have also experienced the opposite. Right now I happen to live in a wonderful ward and stake with a bishop and a stake president who haven't kicked me when I was down or treat me as if I had leprosy. Because of their love, empathy, and genuine concern for me (without guile) I have been able to get help and truly be free of my addiction to pornography. My wife has been able to get help to understand what has driven my addiction. She now knows the truth about pornography addiction. I can go to her and freely speak about my issues without her giving in to unfounded and irrational fears. These are my experiences and they are true. -Finrock

Okay... Feeling compelled to add a bit more: (And I was so proud at beig concise, for once! Le sigh). Would a doctor ever tell you to drink alcohol? Yep. It's the antidote for antifreeze poisoning. Would a doctor ever tell you to masturbate? Yep. Kinda necessary for IVF & a few other things. PLEASE... Stop looking for medical advice from people who are not your doctor... And worse, taking it. HF wants you to be healthy. HF has placed these doctors in your life to help you achieve that aim. Why only follow their advice so far, and then ignore it completely in favor of someone who has no idea what all is involved? My mum (doesn't drink) always keeps a bottle of Everclear in the house... Because kids do stupid things like drink the "thick Mountain Dew". Should she just let a kid die, because it's against the word of wisdom to drink alcohol? Of course not. But will there be someone, somewhere, who would refuse for alcohol to be poured down their toddler's throat as it bein against God's wishes? Of course there will be. There will ALWAYS be someone in your life telling you what God wants. You're LDS, take I to him, yourself. HF... Should I follow my doctors medical advice, or my bishops medical advice? Q

You can keep it vague and general... In fact it might even be wise. But that limits us to vague and general advise. You have gotten advice and council from your doctor and your bishop... Both whom have acted within their stewardship to council you. Now it is time for you to exert your stewardship over yourself. You are the one that has to live with your choices, you are one that has to face God with your actions. Make a choice... then take it to the lord and see if he approves. If he does then act. If not the discard that and choose a different one. What ever choice the lord approves of... do... but know you will have to face the fall out from such a choice

I have been bothered enough by this to speak up. Simply put, from a gospel perspective, this is not an option. Do not deceive yourself. You could be forgiven...but it is not guaranteed. This is not a cavalier thing and you run great, great risk. You know better. Forgiveness for intentionally ending a life when you darned well know better? Well...no one can say absolutely. It is the Lord's to judge. But the risk you are taking in approaching it with this as an "option" is beyond monumental. I cannot state this strongly enough. Take this option off the table!

I would stick with your original plan - break up and get back to church. I also suggest prayer and fasting that he'll have a change of heart and sign off on adoption.

I'm with Folk on this one. There are arguments that can be made against making a connection between Jesus Christ and Quetzalcoatl but: 1) They never would have seen Jesus because they existed after the Lamanites and Nephites, and thus would have been unable to have been influenced by accounts of his visit. 2) Jesus may not have gone that far south, and thus would have been unable to be influenced by accounts of his visit. 3) The Aztecs practice religious concepts not in-line with Jesus' teachings, and thus would have been unable to be influenced by accounts of his visit. Seem specious to me, accounts can persist in time, and can cross spatial barriers, and influences from the past need not necessarily reflect the current practice. Folk's reference to Santa Claus and St. Nicholas are relevant counter examples to the idea that influence can't cross spatial or temporal distances. To that I'd add that the absorption of Yule into Christian Christmas is a counter example to the idea that influence must somehow be complete (that if accounts of Jesus were appropriated in Aztec culture his teachings would have been too). Now does this mean that there is a Jesus-Quetzalcoatl connection? Not at all. It just means one needs to make the argument that it didn't happen rather than breezily declare that it couldn't happen.

From the point of view of someone in a marriage where we have infertility issues, I can't help but wonder why giving the child up for adoption is not on your potential list?

Perhaps there ought to be a difference in how we handle the sin vs. the sinner. The example was set by the Savior. Reminds me of my father chewing me out thru his tears after I took a fall out of tree and was pierced by a bunch of fresh punji sticks he created after clearing an area of saplings. We all look back and laugh now at my father’s reaction. He managed to carry my punctured and bloody body all the way back up to the house. Yelling at me perhaps provided much needed oxygen to get me somewhere he could attend my wounds, but it was pointless because the time of warning was past. Church is a place where we both receive warnings and seek healing. I think it's important for all to keep that in mind, both those who warn, those warned and those past warning who are caught in the snares and who seek forgiveness and healing. As someone who still struggles with this, I take no offense with what Folk Prophet has stated. He is right it's a serious thing and it's breaking covenants and those afflicted need to turn to Christ, as does everyone.

I know this is going to come across as picking on you based on other conversations we have going on right now, but I think this is an unfair question. She's stated her interpretation, but she's also been clear (I think) that she doesn't expect the same decision of everyone (and I thought this before we got to this comment...but it could be possible I think this just because of past familiarity with Eowyn). In any case, she's right, it isn't necessary. What she and her husband chose to do for their treatments is not a statement of what all couples should do. And I'm uncomfortable pressing her for more than that.

Yeah, but it's really a relative thing, isn't it. All Jesus would have had to appear is white relative to the ancient Lamanites for the tradition of the great white god to have been started. And we do not know how fair-skinned Jesus was or was not. Moreover, and this is important too, I think, the Book of Mormon described him as clothed in a white robe. It might also be a reasonable guess that He may have glowed (though just as reasonable that He may not have) with glory. There are a variety of reasonable ways to see how the tradition of a great white god could have been started.

I have made baptismal covenants. I've made temple covenants. I don't personally feel that they specifically include (or exclude) masturbation. And it's no person's right but my own to tell me what those covenants mean for me.

And I understand why you feel that way. I also understand why some people feel differently. Which is why I'm not keen on telling them that they must use the same interpretation of the covenant that I use.

I have been. And I covenanted to keep the commandments. And in the temple I made deeper covenants, which oddly don't seem to include masturbation from the wording. I think you'd be very surprised by some of the things past leaders have done under medical direction.

I can't imagine stating that there is no Easter bunny; considering the Easter bunny is no nice and thoughtful by leaving goodies and anything else that kids (young or grown) will find wonderful. I'm hoping the Easter bunny will always come to my house, even when the kids are old and grey. M.

Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, jog his memory. Fezzik: Sorry Inigo, I did not mean to jog him so hard. Count Rugen: I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel? Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.The Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die. Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped. Fezzik: Inigo, I saw the Prince's stables, and there they were, four white horses. And I thought, there are four of us, if we ever find the lady. [buttercup appears at the window] Hello, lady! So I took them with me, in case we ever bumped into each other. I guess we just did.Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, you did something right.Fezzik: Don't worry. I won't let it go to my head. (NOTE: I say "Hello Lady" as a greeting to women way too often) Man in Black: I asked him what was so important for him. "True love," he replied. And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. Inigo Montoya: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using. Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup? Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

I am not informed enough on this particular subject to address specific elements. But I have been a student of human nature and it seems to me that in general we have the impression that whatever our individual weaknesses are that we tend to excuse and diminish whatever they are as well as exaggerate our individual strengths. At the same time we tend to exaggerate the weaknesses of others and diminish their individual strengths. I observe this in myself as well as others. I have observed, both with myself and others that we often tend to think of those that enable our views to diminish our weaknesses and exaggerate our strengths as friendly and helpful and those that exaggerate our weaknesses and diminish our strengths as our enemies and hostel to us. I am not sure this is the best way to develop strong character and become a positive element in a secure social structure. We often say things like have courage to stand for the right and do not sacrifice morals for friendships. Unless someone is standing up against something we are doing – even if we know and admit that what we are doing is wrong – we still think that anyone that criticizes and opposes us is our enemy and someone that we should not trust. I believe that what we are doing is not as important as the trend we are setting by what we are doing. Thus it would seem to me that if someone is viewing pornography is not the real issue. The problem is whether or not they are reinforcing and building upon making pornography (or whatever) part of their default (disciplined) behavior or if they are trending away from such activity as something done regularly. The way we change is by making the exception in our life more common. Since we are always changing the more we change the more obvious what we are changing to becomes. My father would say to me that there are two things necessary to change things. The first things necessary is that we start doing things we have never done before. But then he would say that most people fail with this because they do not realize that there is something else necessary for a change to occur. The second thing is that we must stop doing things we have always done before. Then he would say that this is the only way to change anything and it is not about getting others to change because that is the greatest mistake of fools that think they can change things but not themselves. I have followed the advice of my father and found it most useful. Those that expect others to change to accommodate them will eventually fail in their efforts to change anything. They can complain that they or their problem is not correctly understood – or that others or too cold or not understanding or not caring or whatever. It does not matter what outside themselves they can blame – the point is that if they blame anything but themselves they will always in the end fail to change. The only way to succeed is to take upon responsibility, quit blaming others and change yourself. The truth is that anyone that assists you in blaming others and not taking responsibility is your real enemy and anyone that assists you in taking responsibility upon yourself for what you do is your real friend.

Just because your TSH is within normal range doesn't mean there isn't a thyroid issue. My TSH was normal but I was sick and my symptoms pointed to Thyroid. I begged for an antibody test for about 18 months. Because my TSH was normal the insurance wouldn't cover the cost. I finally told my doctor I would pay for the test if it came back normal. He called himself to tell me my thyroid antibodies were off the chart and to apologize. Please ask your doctor for a full thyroid panel.

But I seriously doubt his doctor is telling him to go get a prostitute. masturbation =/= fornication

I think the advice given on limited information about your issue is sufficient and echo the sentiments of others regarding exercise etc.It was however the sentence above that grabbed my attention. Probably because I see around these forums and church in general a lot of people beating themselves up. Almost like they carry a spiritual stick around with them, the moment they step one foot out of line they whack themselves like a spiritual piñata. The scriptures talk about the 2 great commandments. Love God, Love our Neighbors. I actually think there is 3 in this invitation. Love our neighbors, as ourselves. For many people they would have to go around beating up their neighbors cause that's what they do to them selves. Hence we need to learn to love ourselves a lot better, be patient in our weakness, softer to our souls and put down the piñata stick. If we can be kinder to our own selves we will find it much easier to love our neighbors and God.

I think i know what medication group you're referring to. Unfortunately, working out or other similar activities don't relieve this type of tension, especially when it's caused by massive hormonal changes that are beyond the scope that usually naturally occur. No one can make an answer for you. It's always gunna be your option and your choice to make. Just keep in mind Shakespeare's immortal line: "This above all: to thine own self be true."

I have some extra adderall... No? Okay I'll keep it.

Thanks for putting in words what I could not.

Low energy can have multiple causes. It could be due to a struggling thyroid or adrenal glands, sleep deprivation and so on. while you might find some short-term success with some adaptogens such as ashwaghanda and rhodiola, long term you will likely have better success with a complete lifestyle over-haul. I'm partial to the nutritional ideas of Dr. Joel Fuhrman and would urge you to get into his books if you're really interested in learning more about picking up your energy levels. If the full lifestyle modification is just not your thing you might also try licorice root, vitamin C with bioflavanoids and a good multi with B complex. DO NOT take my word for any of this... look into adaptogens, adrenal fatigue, low thyroid, and dietary and lifestyle behaviours you can use to influence such things to learn and draw your own conclusions. I hope your energy perks up.

This is probably the best advice. Thank you so much! I needed to be reminded that she will find her own way and her own husband. I will do my best to play it cool.

How about this: Follow your doctor's MEDICAL advice, and your bishop's SPIRITUAL advice. The two should never contradict. If they are... Then someone is stepping over their bounds. Q

To all those who dislike the video... REPENT! Lest ye get smitten with hellfire and damnation! :P :P :P

I am not sure what is meant by severe or where such a line can be drawn. I have had many issues in which I disagree with my priesthood leaders - mostly such things have been settled in open and honest dialog between me and my leader. However, there was one occasion that I was not settled having discussed openly our differences between my bishop and myself. At which time I sought out my Stake President and the issue was settled. But with all that said - I have learned by sad experience in my marriage that as parents it is better for my wife and I to unitedly be wrong than for us to be embroiled between us in which one is right and which one is wrong.

I grew up Mormon; so it was a very evolutionary process for me where the voice of God confirming the truth of these things just grew stronger and stronger. It wasn't a single "Is this true?" followed by some overwhelming feeling of "YES"; it was a now-uncounted number of positive, confirmatory (I would even go so far as to say "revelatory") experiences generally in line with the phenomena described in Galatians 5:22-23 and 2 Timothy 1:7. I don't want to dissuade you from that method; but I think it's important to note the limitations of that method. For example, we can independently confirm that Joseph Smith, Oliver Cowdery, Palmyra, Kirtland, and Nauvoo, really existed--just as described in the Doctrine and Covenants. We can confirm that Joseph Smith was imprisoned in Missouri at the time D&C 121 says he was; and the remains of that jailhouse still exist. We can confirm Brigham Young was in Winter Quarters in 1846, just as D&C 136 says he was. But I doubt anyone would be so brash as to say that archaeology "confirms" that the Doctrine and Covenants is true in every particular--let alone that it confirms the D&C's purported divinely-inspired origin. And of course, I can confirm the existence of places like London and Brighton and Gretna Greene in eighteenth-century England; but that doesn't make Meryton or Longbourn or Pemberley actual places or confirm that Pride and Prejudice is indeed scripture. For people who claim that their embrace of Christianity is based in science/archaeology, or a mixture of rationalism and faith; I would respectfully submit that most of them are unconsciously giving a lot more weight to "faith" (and even the idea that they themselves can receive/have received supernatural communications from God) than their secularized culture would let them admit even to themselves. Once they come to grips with that, I think Mormonism's admonition to "go pray about it" seems a little less weird.

My .02, because I can... I'd suggest to consider it quazi-serious because by the sounds of it, they're not sure at what level of seriousness they're at. They're most likely still deciding where to go with their relationship so don't over-react, push or prod. Take it easy and trust that they'll figure it out.

Well, if it was all about sex then it would be easy to deal with. But it's not about sex. If it was about a person's inability to control themselves, then it would be easy, but it's not about discipline. But hey, if you haven't had experience with addiction then you wouldn't know how it works. We get group leaders in our ARP group who think it's about sex and self discipline until they get to know the participants and hear their stories and experiences. Then their eyes open and they see that it's much, much more than the superficial sex and discipline answers. So I hope that you wouldn't go to a person who has an addiction and tell them to "get more self control" because you really are doing them a huge disservice. Just say "boy, that sucks" and "good luck" and leave it at that.

Is it too cheesey to say "Yeah"? I do it everytime I read the BOM and the Bible: I ask God to speak to me in my heart. No, I don't expect a booming voice from the Heaven's. Rather, I feel this gentle assurance, like a hand gently nudging my heart. How do you feel the Bible is true? *Ok, going to play devil's advocate here* So, there was a man named Jesus was killed by the Romans. How does that make him the Son of God anymore than the Eygptain pharoh's? Archeology also says they existed and claimed to by gods. How do you know this Jesus fellow walked on water? Healed the sick? Rose from the dead? Took your sins on himself? Like I said, I've never found God in archaeology. (Also, archaeology frequently completely disagrees with the OT, but I still read it and find it valuable).

I apologize for being so vague. I just didn't know if it was appropriate to be more forward. I think I have received the answers I needed. It is exceedingly difficult, but I'll go with my Bishops recommendation. Thank you to everyone who responded. ~J

Honestly it really just depends on the people. My whole life I've only brought one guy home to meet the family (he is also the only one my family has ever even heard me talk about!). I also drove 8hours to meet his mum and moved two states to be by him. However! Marriage is not really anywhere near the picture for us. So yes big sacrifices can be made on both ends but it doesn't mean serious or marriage. I'd personally ask your daughter to elaborate more on her statement.

I've been deliberately slow to reply in this thread because the responses infuriate me. So let me be extremely blunt, church. You're talking about things you simply do not understand. You have had multiple people on here with deep, personal experiences with pornography addiction (and addiction in general) talk about how this isn't about sexual fulfillment, but about control and stress. You've largely dismissed those statements because you believe that it is about sexual fulfillment. Here's a newsflash for you. If you want to know what it is that drives people to use pornography, talk to the people that are driven to use it. They generally have a far better understanding of what motivates them to turn to porn than someone who has been fortunate enough to escape its bitter clutches. Pornography use and especially pornography addiction is very much like nicotine addiction. It takes the typical smoker over 12 attempts to give up cigarettes. Do they enjoy smoking? Yes and no. People who want to give up smoking enjoy the feeling they get when they are smoking, but they hate that they can't give it up. Without the drug, they are irritable, more stressed, have trouble concentrating. When they have the nicotine in their systems, they are calm and more focused. The continue to smoke because the short term craving for the calm and stress management consumes their will for the long term benefits they objectively know come from a smoke free lifestyle. Simply put, they haven't mastered their cravings. They haven't bridled their passions. It's incredibly hard for them to master these cravings because it means giving up peace of mind for so long while the mind and body retrain themselves. I get why the church speaks so harshly against pornography. It's far easier to go without it if you never get started on it. And while the rhetoric around avoiding it is correct (SpiritDragon was correct when saying that it starts out as a sexual curiosity), by the habitual use is established, the motivations are no longer the same. Which is why it concerns me that the LDS dialog around pornography is full of descriptions of covenant breaking, filth, and the jeopardized exaltation. But pornography use is no more condemning to a person's soul than tobacco use, coffee use, alcohol use, or profanity. Yet, pornography use is the only one that gets reviled so strongly. The net effect of all this vitriol toward pornography is that those most in need of help are afraid to come forward and ask for the help they need. I'm not joking one bit when I say that I have heard too many women say that they would leave their husbands if they found out he used pornography. Men who are found out to be pornography users are seen as perverts, deviants, and some leaders will even disqualify them from serving in callings, particularly with youth and children. Think about what message that sends to someone who is struggling with this challenge. And then ask yourself this: why don't we treat alcoholic, coffee addicts, and smokers with the same level of disdain. No one here has claimed that it is okay to view pornography. We've all condemned it. And yet people still criticize us for "tolerating the sin" because we seek to temper the dialog about it. This is hurtful to people who are struggling with these addictions. It's deeply hurtful. Because the kind of rhetoric we hear over the pulpit is "it's evil evil evil evil EVIL!!! avoid it! oh and if you fail repent right away." It makes it sound like it should be so easy to repent of. but it just isn't easy. The difficulty of overcoming these addictions is almost never, ever appreciated in talks against pornography. And then you come in with your "it's always about sex. food addiction is always about eating" garbage. Again, try listening to the people that have been experiencing it. I once watched a show about food addiction and listened to people talk about how they ordered large amounts of food from a drive thru then went to a secluded alley where they could sob while consuming their drug of choice. It was not about the food. It was not about the eating. It was about the emotional and physical reprieve that came about because of the eating. Habitual pornography use is not about sex. Sexual release is just the vehicle to get to the emotional and physical reprieve desired. Until you can learn to separate the vehicle from the desired feeling, you will remain ignorant of what truly motivates the addict. So please. Just spare us already.

I'm a mom of 7. Superperson, I'm not. My brain is fried. I'm a Mormon.

Back in my dating days - I thought to meet the family as soon as posible. It was part of my deciding about dating seriously. But and this is a very big "but" - I was raised to pay my own way. Though my father was very wealthy he would never consider paying for any such thing. I know what he would have said had I asked: "If it is not important enough for you to figure it out - it is not going to be more important for me to figure it out for you. If you cannot figure out how to pay for it then it really is not that important." He told me the same thing when I talked to him about doing anything I wanted to do - including going to college. Whenever I asked him for money - he gave me an extra job to do. Even at meal time - he would say that we eat whatever is served weather we like it or not - if we want something else we pay for it.

Speaking to the issue of use/viewing vs. addiction, go to 1:23 (almost 1:24) in this video. It's a news story about tells a woman's experience, but that particular few seconds speaks about this topic specifically. http://www.azcentral.com/videos/news/local/gilbert/2014/04/23/8040355/

Nothing puts a smile on my face during a boring trip to the grocery store like seeing a nice pair of yoga pants

I wonder how this applies; 42 But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them. 43 But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: 44 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. (New Testament, Mark, Chapter 10) I'm not sure but i believe that no keys or authorities are given so that we can act as "the deciders" - In the home or church to "preside" should mean to "serve" - maybe??

I\'m happy, but I\'ve had my struggles with depression - bipolar specifically - and PPD after having my daughter, and those two things can make a beautiful thing not so beautiful. When I use \"beautiful\", I mean the good things in life. On a branch off thought, I too often take for granted the life I\'ve been blessed with, in comparison to my quality of life before meeting my husband, and just considering the notion that I could have wound up in a very different reality all together unless my parents had adopted me. So it\'s a dynamic web of happy strings and blessed strings and it\'s-complicated strings...