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  1. I was at a German Mission reunion last night for all German speaking missions. Elder Bednar and his wife spoke to us and he specifically touched on this topic. He asked us to please stop with the myths, etc. that so many of us adhere to. He said the policy changes such as witnesses, ministering, youth program, missionaries able to call home on a weekly basis, etc. are because we are a world wide church. It needs to be simplified, but the eternal truths are there. It needs to be family based. For example, he talked about Africa, and the growth there. Young adults have the obligation to care for their parents and support the family. Often times, the young person is the only member. If they go on a mission they are unable to to help support the family. If they have no contact with the parents for the two years while serving, the parents become more antagonistic towards the church. The change in policy for missionaries to call home was for them, not us (Utahns, Americans), but we benefit. I wish I could state this the way Elder Bednar did. He talked about the Saints in Africa who are the poorest in the world. They pay their pennies and other meager change for fast offerings, which goes into the coffers of the church, so someone here in Utah can pay their mortgage because they were unwise with their money, He was blunt. He talked about revelation and how it is often given, line upon line, precept upon precept. Most of the church policy changes are not abrupt changes. Each particular prophet has been working for years in specific areas of their stewardship. These are not new ideas to them, but it comes line upon line. I’m grateful I was able to hear Elder Bednar talk. The Spirit was so strong. His wife’s comments were just as powerful. I truly feel blessed to have been there.
    6 points
  2. I have just started on a Physiotherapy degree course as part of a career change plan. I have been very excited to be a student again, but have had some irritating minor conflict with the University with regard to the clothing (or rather lack of) requirements for the practical sessions. Not sure why it didn't occur to me before starting the course, but I have had some difficulty explaining that due to religious beliefs I will not be wearing shorts which barely cover my buttock creases and will not be taking off my t-shirt. This was not a good enough reason and I was being pressured to participate until I noticed a final year student who is a muslim and wears a hijab and asked the program lead to allow me the same concessions that she had been allowed on religious grounds. Suddenly, I am no longer "a problem". I managed to speak with the girl yesterday and asked her about her experience and she told me about the options they had given her and what had worked for her and I now have a plan that I feel comfortable with. It was nice to at last speak with someone who understood the discomfort of immodesty, rather than heavily implying that I have body image issues I am grateful for that woman of faith who lives her principles. I am less amused that I had to use "the muslim card" to get some tutors to take me seriously. I guess I am already marked out as the awkward and annoying first year student....... well best they knew early on
    4 points
  3. Update: All is well. Husband isnt thrilled about it, but is at peace with the policy and entering a church building.
    2 points
  4. Sorry to hear about the fiasco @Backroads! My family was in "bunker mode" for a time this spring. For short term: - Go through your pantry and freezer, make an inventory, and google meals you can do with what you have. Plan those and stick to it. Besides saving money, this also has the benefit of just cleaning things out. - Cancel all fluff, eating out, or entertainment that's going to extra money during this time period. Now is the time to hang out as a family, go to the park, play a board game, etc. - Driving: I don't know what the weather is like where you are, but for us we have a lot of things that are only like 2 miles away. Bike riding in "bunker mode" saved us money, but more than that I found that I really liked it and it has had notable health benefits for me. So even now that we're out of "bunker mode", I still regularly bike places. - If it's something random you need (like I needed a pie-baking pan), ask to borrow one from a friend / minister. My ministering sister did not miss her pie pan for the two days it was helping out my family.
    2 points
  5. A while back I met a guy in my stake that worked for the Church statistics department. One thing I learned is something I already kind of knew. Even though revelation is and essencetial, Saints are encouraged to be invested in operations. Kind of like the brother of Jared given the task to come up with an idea to light the ships with not windows. The church leaders work very hard to learn and add insights. During one of my opportunities to learn from my friend in the Church stats dep. told me of the results of several studies conducted by the Church. I will summarize some of the elements I remembered: 1. In order for a ward to function and be successful there must be at least 5 "Power" families. 2. A power family is a family with stable parents committed to each other and children - all (or most all) active in the church and willing to accept calling. It is also a social family that gets along well with neighbors (especially other church members) and the kids are also likeable and friendly within the ward social circles. 3. Power families are likely to not only help other families to remain active but have an influence of resolving disputes between others families. 4. The biggest surprise is that the number 1 requirement for defining a power family - is not regular scheduled family prayer, family home evening and scripture study. The number 1 most important element is that the family has regular activities of fun for the whole family and that the family enjoys being together. The reason I bring this up; can be summarized by a talk I once heard where the speaker defined family home evening as a family argument opened and closed with prayer. Sure there is a little humor but one of the reason for the focus on family is for the purpose of families having fun and learning to enjoy being around each other. So I will make a prediction. The new program for youth will fail or fall short in those families that do not know how to have fun together. Likewise the families full of fun and enjoyment - will find that very little changes or appears to change with the new program. The Traveler
    2 points
  6. It's a good test of food storage, if you have it. For the 2 weeks you describe, "food storage" here means what's in your fridge, freezer, pantry. If I were in your situation, I'd create an inventory of everything you've got. - Can it last 2 weeks with a little planning? Then turn it into an adventure and post your daily meals here. - What expires first? - What do you really not look forward to eating, but you can if you have to? Mix it in, so you're not stuck with only that at the end. Another option would be to talk with the bishop. If you're a full tithe payer, if you pay fast offerings some, if unemployment or underemployment isn't an issue, I'm guessing your bishop would be overjoyed to just help you for a short period of time. Bishops have so many difficult situations, people who struggle long-term to make ends meet, people struggling to accept they need to make lifestyle changes - you don't have any of that. He can help you with 2 weeks of food from the storehouse, and you go away happy with the issue fixed? Probably the easiest meeting he'll have with anyone that week. You would be doing him a favor with such an easy thing to fix. No really - consider this option. It truly is just between you and him - it's likely nobody else in the building will ever hear about it. I've been finance clerk for years, and I don't have the faintest clue who gets food assistance from the church. I do see the "food assistance" folder in the top drawer of the locked filing cabinet, and it's not a thin folder, but only the bishop is involved in that.
    2 points
  7. I thought briefly about classifying this in "Support in Hard Times" but it's more like Irritating Times because I think we will make it through... So, because I have no qualms about destroying a company, I maliciously declare Wish.com stole all of our money. Husband enjoys browsing the site, once order a dish drainer... and left the debit card information. The other day an order was placed through his account for no less than seven gold-melting devices of which we really have no use. (A search of the internet revealed similar stories with the site in the past few weeks.) Anyway, this completely drained out our bank account. I know, I know, don't leave debit card information online, yada yada. Still happened, now we're dealing with the aftermath. They promised a refund, but we won't get it for two weeks (hopefully we will get it then...) We have filled out the fraud paperwork with our financial institution. Sort of hoping once they complete their work we might get a credit til whenever, but I'm not relying on that. A lot of bills have been already paid. I went grocery shopping and filled my gas tank the day before. We have a freezer filled to the brim with meat, plenty of rice and beans, and actual fancy packaged food storage items. The zuchinni continues to grow in the backyard and is probably planning a hostile takeover. Plus, relatives and people who tolerate us if worse comes to worse. Husband gets paid in two weeks. Hopefully we will also get our gold-melting money back at that time as well. While we do not have the ideal emergency fund saved up, we do have some savings to work with, probably enough to even go about our daily lives if we wanted. But because I have an anxious, worst-case-leaning personality as well as an overactive imagination and just some pure curiosity of the "can I pull this off?" variety, I kind of want to handle this as in extreme circumstance. Suggestions on how to survive on zero/virtually zero money for two weeks?
    1 point
  8. I am viewing it as an adventure, a challenge of sorts. However, tonight was leftovers found in the fridge. 😁
    1 point
  9. Sorry this happened to you Backroads. I really hope you get all of your money back. This re-affirms a belief I have on keeping some cash in your house hidden safely for situations like this. If you can in the future get $500 to $1,000 in cash reserves in your house. Keep a few fifties, and some twenties, tens and about fifteen one dollar bills for bad situations. Also do what others have suggested and talk to your Bishop about your situation. I hope all works out well for you.
    1 point
  10. So, I was tickled pink to see Netflix/Facebook/Twitter/and others, dump all the anti-vax propaganda nonsense, in the wake of the returning preventable diseases sweeping the county. It seemed like a public health issue, nothing to do with politics. From where I was standing, spreading opinions with which I disagree is one thing, but spreading untruths which lead to the return of smallpox and measles and whatnot, is more than just exercising 1st amendment rights.
    1 point
  11. Joker (rated R for psychological disturbing theme and violence) Okay, so I was expecting this to be not the normal popcorn fare of superhero movies from all the hype. But manoman... this was one heck of a movie. I'm still not sure what to make of it and I don't want to go see it again to get a better grasp of what I think of it. Instead of the normal superhero flick of archetypes magnifying everyday heroism and villainy into a fun action packed adventure this movie dives deep into the mind of one of those super popular villains (that was intended to be a simple counterpoint to a hero and wouldn't need a backstory to explain his actions). So, I'm inclined to not call this a comicbook superhero/supervillain movie. This is a character study of a deeply disturbed person that got the bad deal in the lottery of worldly existence that just happens to be a character in a comicbook. I wouldn't call this entertaining as one wouldn't call Schindler's List entertaining. Rather, it's one of those movies that makes you think about the real world and reflect on its cracks. Joaquin Phoenix is phenomenal in this one. He's seemingly in every single frame of the movie and there's not one scene where he did not deliver an amazing performance. And goodness gracious...the lengths these actors go to to transform their physical bodies to portray a character is mind boggling. I just saw Phoenix on a very recent interview and he looks normal and even pudgy again.
    1 point
  12. This seems pertinent to the discussion at hand.
    1 point
  13. I would feel the same. Freedom of speech is of great importance.
    1 point
  14. Indeed.. We have Culture, or the Unwritten Order of things... Which I think is very similar to what the scripture call 'Traditions of our Fathers' This is not doctrine or truth... It might however have been a good idea or helpful or even necessary at some point in our history. And maybe it still is or maybe it is not any more. It is nice to see those with the proper stewardship going through and removing that which they determine is no longer useful or correct at this time
    1 point
  15. Surely, it's fine for private platforms to censor content. We here at thirdhour do it daily, what with the banning bots and p0rn spewers and criticisms of our church. 1st amendment doesn't apply here. Also surely, it's not fine for a monopoly of a public good (like neighborhood supermarket, or hospital, or power company) to refuse to serve someone based on 1st amendment issues. You can be in the KKK for all society cares, you still get to buy food and have running water and stuff. As social media platforms, especially YouTube and Facebook, gain prominence and usefulness in our lives, one can see it moving from 'private platform' to 'monopoly of a public good'. Is it there yet? I dunno.
    1 point
  16. person0

    Career Change

    I passed both of the A+ exams today. On to the next exam 🙂
    1 point
  17. The church’s approach is fantastic. What is destructive is a combination of the delivery from local teachers and leaders, and the interpretation of the delivery by the LGBTQ individual. This is why therapy can be so good for such individuals, they are in a place and with a person with no expectations or pre conceived notions. A safe space, if you will, where they can speak openly and dissect what is happening without any repercussion. The church is fantastic and is a must in the process of repentance, but it doesn’t have everything everyone needs for every situation for them to deal with the stresses and difficulties of life.
    1 point
  18. Is that what we're doing here? Thinking up "love-oriented solutions"? Then what, PP? Do we instruct God on the brilliant conclusions we've reached, and inform him that lesbian couples should be allowed in celestial glory by marrying them both to some guy? "Okay, God, we've decided how reality should be structured, so we expect you to now change the very nature of reality and existence to accomodate our brilliant ideas." Is that what we're supposed to do? Truth exists independent of what you may believe. God teaches truth. He shows us the way. It is not our place to instruct God (or his chosen leaders) in what they are supposed to do. It is our place to learn from them and implement their teachings in our lives. The author quoted by the OP is just another voice urging the Saints toward apostasy. He should be summarily ignored.
    1 point
  19. Sigh... Per the quote in the OP I have a heterosexual identity and a church identity. And they need to live in harmony with each other for my mental health... that seems reasonable. However my church identity puts real limits on my heterosexual identity. Many aspects it does not care about but two it very much does. The first is the Law of Chasity and the second is Priesthood or Relief Society. Both those force my expression of sexual identity into certain channels. For example my church identity does not allow me to have sex with multiple partners. Yet one does not have to look far to see many people seeing that as part of their sexual identity. If I were to do so I would experience mental trauma as various aspects of my church identity came into conflict with this expression of my sexual identity. This trauma would lead to me deciding which was the most important part of my identity, which part I wanted more. This test is exactly why we are here to determine if we will follow God or if we will follow something else. Now for me my sexual identity and my church identity aren't in that much conflict... that just means that my testing is going to be in another area. For those of the LETTER Soup group their sexual identity (whatever it is) is going to be in more conflict. And that conflict is going to cause trauma, which we can and should be sensitive to. But in that sensitivity and desire to help we should not try to undo the test they have to face. They to have to make a choice on what is most important, on whom they will follow just like we do.
    1 point
  20. So, @Anddenex, here are some observations in response to your post which apparently originates with one Laura Skaggs Dulin, a gay (nominally) LDS therapist from Southern California: A growing body of research indicated that sexual orientation had a biological origin . . . This is half-true. It is well known that when you have identical twins with (theoretically) identical DNA, they will not necessarily have the same sexual orientation. Ongoing research suggests that “epigenetics” has a role, and environmental factors have some influence here. Dulin seems stuck in the decades-old “born-this-way” paradigm that ongoing research renders increasingly outdated. . . . and that decades of trying to change people’s orientation or gender identity via reparative therapies not only didn’t work, in countless cases it caused considerable harm. When we identify “reparative therapies” as “trying to change what class of people a given patient is sexually attracted to”, that is accurate. But I’d be interested to hear Dulin believes that counseling and ministering intended to help a gay person live celibately, in accordance with the Law of Chastity, falls under the umbrella of “reparative therapies”. Research had also begun to point to the incredible power of Family Acceptance of their LGBTQ children -- that accepting families reduced risk of LGBTQ suicide attempts by 8 times. I think most of us will agree with the proposition that when people are nice to us, we feel more valued and less inclined to end our own existence. The question, of course, is what “acceptance” means in this particular context. Perhaps one of the most moving studies I learned about was MRI brain scans of people falling in love: Whether someone falls in love with someone of the opposite gender, or falls in love with someone of the same gender, the same parts of the brain bursting with dopamine light up. Recently, brain scans of transgender people have also shown their brains to be more similar to the gender identity they feel within themselves than their biological sex. Science is fantastically eye opening and these are all things we didn’t know a generation ago. That feelings of love and affection are associated with dopamine, and that we’ll see surges of dopamine in the brain any time it is aroused by a person for whom we feel love and affection (or who elicits similar feelings of relaxation, contentment, and general well-being), is hardly surprising. But is Dulin suggesting that *every* association, relationship, or activity that results in a dopamine release, should be accommodated and promoted? Are we automatons, to act and be acted upon only as a result of the chemical compounds in our brains? Or are we something more? Dulin is just plain lying regarding brain scans of transgender people. It is true that scans show that some regions of transgender peoples’ brains are closer to the gender to which they identify with. Other regions of the brains of transgender persons are more similar to the same brain regions in people of their own native sex, and still other characteristics of a transgender person’s brain seem to be more similar to other transgender folk than either to so-called “cisgender” males or females. See, e.g., https://www.the-scientist.com/features/are-the-brains-of-transgender-people-different-from-those-of-cisgender-people-30027. More to the point—I’m sure that brain scans of my Down’s Syndrome cousin, or my autistic nephews, would show their brains to be much more like those of other autistic or Down’s Syndrome children. I’ll even extend that to the bipolar personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder parents with whom I routinely work—I daresay their brains in certain ways are more physiologically and chemically similar to those of other persons with the same disorder, than to “normal” brains (whatever that means); and the origins of those differences may well lie more in nature than in nurture. But--so, what? The fact that someone’s brain just IS a certain way, doesn’t mean that that’s the way Mother Nature (or, God) intended for the brain to work—any more than the fact that a child is born blind or deaf or without a leg or a foot, means that the child shouldn’t still aspire to do the things that sighted, hearing, or ambulatory children are able to do. Two studies specific to LGBTQ Mormons also had a significant impact on my learning. One found that LGBTQ Mormons who took a single celibate or mixed orientation marriage path frequently had poor mental health while those who dated a same sex partner had significantly better mental health. The most eye opening part though was this: that LGBTQ Mormons who were able to integrate and live into both their queer identities and their spiritual identities as Latter Day Saints had the best mental health outcomes of all! Quite bluntly, it is not possible to integrate a (non-celibate) queer identity and a spiritual identity as a Latter-day Saint. So what, are we defining as “mental health”, here? Are we falling into the trap of accepting an active sex life as a sine qua non for mental health? What ramifications does that have for people who are asexual? Or the hated right-wing "incels"? Or pedophiles? In the second study ( a study that took place in the year following the implementation of the November 2015 policy) it was found that stunningly, 73.4% of LGBTQ Mormons participants had symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in connection to their religious experiences. The same symptoms most often associated with soldiers returning from war, refugees fleeing persecution or victims escaping domestic violence or sexual assault, were showing up in both post and still practicing LGBTQ Mormons at a rate 10 times the general population. That was mind blowing. In simplified summary, research was indicating that LGBTQ Mormons did best when they were able to healthily live into both their queer and religious identities at the same time, however this outcome was quite rare, and instead, an astronomical amount were suffering with symptoms of PTSD. This is probably referring to the Simmons study. Notably, the most troubling manifestations of PTSD (having seen actual death/maiming/sexual violence, flashbacks, memory gaps, destructive behavior, hypervigilant “fight-or-flight” aggression, nightmares, dissociativeness) as outlined in the DSM-V (see, e.g., https://www.brainline.org/article/dsm-5-criteria-ptsd), either weren’t asked about at all, or were among the least-reported symptoms. The symptoms that Simmons’ survey asked about that got responses in the double-digit percentiles included: --“I felt emotionally numb” --“I felt discouraged about the future” --“I had little interest in being around others, particularly from the LDS community” --“I was less active than usual” --“I felt discouraged about the future” --“I avoided people, places, or things that reminded me of my religious beliefs or experiences” --“I wanted to avoid aspects of my religious beliefs or experiences” --“My heart started pounding when I thought about my religious beliefs or experiences” --“Reminders of my religious beliefs or experiences upset me” --“I thought about my religious beliefs or experiences when I didn’t intend to” --“I had trouble sleeping” --“I felt jumpy” --“I had trouble concentrating” --“I was easily annoyed” --“I expected something bad to happen”. In other words: The respondents' trials/sins made them sad, and the survey’s author gave them a means to re-characterize that sadness as Church-inflicted PTSD. It’s also worth noting that there are also some aspects of the sample that make the survey pool . . . suspicious (the pool generally claimed to have received more ecclesiastical warnings about homosexual orientation than homosexual behavior, a distinction the Church has been making openly for over thirty years now). As I sit with LGBTQ Mormons and post Mormons whose hearts are suicidal as an outgrowth of spiritual trauma, they get better as they are able to shed the negative messages they’ve internalized about being LGBTQ from both religion and society. They get better . . . I think we’ve established already that Ms. Dulin (and her allies) has crafted a peculiar definition of “trauma” that is deliberately crafted in such a way as to prescribe a particular method of “getting better”, to the exclusion of the method our Lord worked out in Gethsemane and on the cross. If it’s suicide Ms. Dulin seeks to prevent, maybe she can focus on convincing her clients that they can have worth and meaning and joy in their lives even if they aren’t having regular sexual experiences. That was an idea that was pretty much taken for granted up until the last two or three decades . . . which coincidentally, is when ALL suicides (not just Mormon ones) reached epidemic levels. Like doctors and pilots, I didn’t make up the principles that govern LGBTQ mental health -- we have merely discovered them and now use it daily to safegaurd lives. Except that Ms. Dulin isn't safeguarding lives. The people who have come to her and her "allies" for your help are still killing themselves, in droves. So are LGBTQ folk who were never Mormons. So, in point of fact, are people across pretty much every stratum of American society (though statistically, it seems, middle- and upper-class whites more than most—which is interesting, since they’re the ones most able to afford the therapeutic interventions Ms. Dulin and her colleagues are peddling). Quite bluntly, the statistical evidence indicates that Ms. Dulin's pet principles *GAVE* us the suicide epidemic. They will not heal it. And when it comes to taking advice about how to deal with these issues, I think I'll take advice from the folks who don't make more money if the suicide epidemic gets worse; thank you very much.
    1 point
  21. This is one of the reasons I took a step back from this site. It seems nothing has changed.
    1 point
  22. Shame shame shame shame SHAME on the More Good Foundation for publishing this article. I cannot even begin to express my disappointment. I do believe this may well be the final straw with me. I do not believe I am comfortable being associated to any degree with them any longer. Sister Coppersmith is lying. It is and was nothing but rebellion and pride. She lied to her bishop. She's lying to herself. She's filled with pride and trying to bring others into her pride-based thinking. Those in charge at The More Good Foundation should know better! They should hold their writers to higher standards or truth. Shame on them!
    1 point
  23. Here's an example of a great article to skip. "I think it's a wonderful idea to use a sacred communal worship service in memory and recognition of our Savior and his Restored Kingdom as a platform to air my social opinions." If Sister Coppersmith's managing editor activities have been for TH, that would explain a lot.
    1 point
  24. I replaced my doTerra line:
    0 points
  25. "Spent two years continuously trying to sell Jesus. Still have Him. Same for garage full of doTerra."
    0 points
  26. Hey, that is only on D&D night. What have you got against dwarves anyway?
    0 points