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Every parent needs to watch his six-year-old child die painfully of cancer to know what real life is like. Every person needs to go to war and watch his buddy's head get blown off to know what real life is like. Everyone needs to go to a state prison for three years to know what real life is like. I don't believe most people are really this stupid. They just don't think before they speak. I had an uncle in Provo, now deceased for many years, who as a young man lived for a time in California. He would speak in glowing terms of the magical land of California, where the land was cheap and the weather always fine, and how people there were "real", unlike the rubes in Provo he rubbed shoulders with. One golden day, sometime in or around 1989, at over 60 years of age, he succeeded in his dream, sold his house on east Center street, and moved himself and his family of six back to California. How exciting! How transformative! How awesome! He moved back within six months, desperately happy to be back safe in Provo, and with nothing but bitter criticism about the Godless miscreants in that cursed hellhole of California. He couldn't get his old house back, of course, but he was happy just to have a home up in the hills in west Provo, near Orem. Never complained again about Provo for the rest of his life, as far as I ever heard.

My story out of Utah involves heart wrenching tales of childhood baggage and parole hearings and dangerous in-laws and funerals. We beat cheeks out of Utah and never looked back. Visiting Utah sometimes feels like descending down into the belly of the beast. We've shared thoughts of arming ourselves for battle against unfriendly forces before a trip. Not really anything specifically unique to Utah in my story, anyone can get out of a horrible situation and never want to go back. Hard feelings about places in general can come, not from the places being bad or all the people there being bad, but certain traumatic experiences tied into a cultural and place setting. In our case, some good faithful LDS folks also have committed some incredibly scarring horrible acts of evil that have left deep wounds across generations of children and adults, often while expressing sentiments heard in any sacrament meeting or conference talk. So I totally get the 'church culture stinks' jokes, and I've had to work hard to keep them light-hearted, and keep from falling into bitterness and resentment. I think I do ok at it. Sometimes I get too sarcastic. It's easier to avoid as the years go by.

1) When one goes from having 100% of their time used up in good work to having all their time free, it creates a void. The available opportunities can seem unworthy (by comparison), leading one to doing nothing, which creates unhappiness while at the same time being addictive. He needs good things to do - or even "not bad" things, so he doesn't get in the habit of emptiness and idleness. 2) If something bad did happen, he needs to feel safe before he'll be able to reveal it to you (or someone) and work through it. You need to figure out how to help him feel safe, like he's loved and accepted no matter what. IMO, going from mission to never attending church is indicative of a problem. Withdrawing from family is indicative of a problem (unless said family are already dysfunctional or he feels it's not safe to open up to them). This casts doubt on his reasons for extending his mission - was it to stay for a wrong reason? Was it to avoid coming home to a situation that makes him uncomfortable? Or....? I'd say some honest and loving conversations are in order where you or his father or someone else he trusts mostly just listens.

I would tell a story - In my youth an individual came to my scout troop claiming to be from the scouting counsel. He had a lot of interest in myself and the other boys. He befriended us and bought us gifts (mostly food and scout stuff). He would great us all with hugs. Some parents became suspicious and looked into his background - soon after he disappeared forever. At the time I thought it strange that he disappeared so quickly - since he claimed to be a "friend". I did not think much about this until later in life - but there was another time of experience. When I joined the army I weighed 120 and looked to be 13 (I was 17). I was approached every week by someone that claimed to want to befriend me. I quickly learned what kind of friend they wanted to be. They would approach me at times when I was alone and it was not uncommon for such invitations for friendship to end in violence. Though I was small and young looking I had grown up with knowledge and experience of defending myself. I know how to hurt someone if it is necessary. My experience enabled me to strongly dislike guys that had certain attraction towards me or guys in general. It was not uncommon for me to initiate pain when I thought a guy was getting too close in my personal space - I still do not like guy hugs. I learned all the "lines" and "excuses" and to be honest became very bitter towards anyone that would even defend "gayness". On my mission I was transferred to a new area. The first day in the new area, I went with my companion to teach a discussion with a "golden" contact. From the moment I met this contact - I knew he had a problem to overcome before he should be baptized - and I would have nothing to do with him. I was very open with my concern. I refused to teach this fellow but I would sit with my companion while he taught but I would not say even a word. The guy ended up being baptized but I would not baptize him or be one of the witnesses - though I did attend. I also would not participate in confirming him a member. I did not believe he was worthy Fast forward over 15 years later. I was serving as a Scout Master and our troop was at a very cold winter camp near Park City Utah. I was approached by a stranger that asked, "Do you remember me?" I look at him and said, "No!" I did not recognize him. He then said that he remembered me and that I was the missionary that taught him and brought him into the church. I still did not remember him. He then carefully reminded me who he was - long ago. But so much had changed, he was now married with children and we was a bishop. It was like I was hit by a ton of spiritual bricks. I apologized and we talked about many things - but I learned that he had often prayed to meet me again. To this day I still resent the arguments and excuses I hear about those that choose to be gay. (note that I believe important things in life are a choice). I have experience enough to know certain LIES! But I also have learned about forgiveness and spiritual connections to the atonement of Christ. What I once thought could never be forgiven and brought into full fellowship of the church - I now know can - and I am so grateful for that profound and strong convert. All good things will be brought into the fold of Christ - and what I though I could never accept - I can and will be so lead by the spirit - as should we all. The Traveler

This sounds like serious depression. I've been there. It is rough, but treatable. I suggest seeing that he sees either your family doctor or a psychiatrist to take a questionnaire or two and get a diagnosis and help. I wish you, your son, and your family the best.

Really? That’s what the movement is doing? Could’ve fooled me.

Lol I'm fine with change just not whining😉

Q: Though very limited, how were his 4x emails toward the end of his mission? Upbeat & positive? Depressed & negative? I would imagine if you were to go back and reread those 4x emails, you may be surprised at what you might notice now. Q: What reason did he give for extending his mission? Q: May seem odd, but did he ever make mention of a 'special' girl OR 'extra special' family on his mission?

This screams of a mental health issue. If you have his mission president's or recent companions contact information you can talk to them.

That is not normal. Feeling out of sorts is normal-- you did just move continents after all. But not practically shunning your family and being THAT isolated. In fact, most missionaries are required to write their families weekly. Honestly, I would suspect a mental health issue. Have you asked your son what's going on? Does he have any future plans?

You'd be surprised (apparently) just how much control you have over whether or not other drivers can harm you. Go take an anti-terrorist driving class (no idea where you find such a thing - I got mine for free while working as a driver for a company contracted to the US Department of State at the US Embassy in Moscow, Russia). Most people won't like this claim, but in the vast majority of cases, you can control whether or not you get hit by an idiot. It requires far more education than most people get, and far more attention and awareness than most people are willing to give while driving. And anyway, it's a lot of fun - you get to throw a car around in ways you didn't know you could throw a car around. (Make sure it's not your car - wear and tear during the class / practice is hard.)

Yes. You can't control other people. But you can control how you react to it. Your reaction to it is limited if you're just a passenger in the car instead of the driver. Being the passenger, you are completely reliant on the ability of the driver to take you out of danger. So... because you don't feel safe anywhere, you're going to... leave the responsibility of your protection to somebody else? And... because a CONCEALED firearm scares you, you're going to make other people who prefer to take the responsibility of their safety upon themselves and make them rely on other people (of course, not you) for their protection? It's really easy to resolve the issue. If you're scared of firearms, go to the gun range and fire a few rounds.

Thoughts from a stranger (and late to respond): 1. The Lord is able to reveal "all" truth (past, present, future) if we are able to receive it and it is the will of God. 2. The adversary is able to deceive and mimic revelation even an angel of light. 3. There is a difference between receiving a revelation and acting on a revelation. Right now your husband (according to the information we have) is acting on the revelation he feels he received. He is having an emotional affair (as pointed out by @Mores) and is breaking the commandment to "cleave" unto you and unto none else. A revelation that may/may not happen in the next life doesn't excuse breaking any commandment in this life. "Studying it out" is an excuse, not a reason. Studying it out would be reading his scriptures, fasting and praying, and attending the temple to understand the revelation (assuming he received) and to obtain further witness, while cleaving unto you and unto none else. 4. If he received revelation, then you also have the right to receive revelation pertaining to the same truth as this revelation does and is affecting you. I would encourage and invite you to read, study, ponder, attend the temple, and fast and pray. We often dismiss our own ability to receive revelation, and thus miss out on receiving an experience that allows us to know how much our Father in heaven loves us. 5. You may need to "reproof betimes with sharpness" before it is too late, and then show an increase in love afterwards. 6. Pertaining to "trust." Trust is earned, not a given. You can trust a revelation while making it clear you do not trust his actions are inline with the Lord and his commandments. You can be honest and say, "I don't know if you have received a revelation, the Lord hasn't revealed anything to me, but I do know your actions right now are not inline with cleaving unto your wife and unto none else."

We did mention it, but glad you also mentioned it too. Same page on this one, if it is really needed. We have a recently returned missionary who works for us. One of our seasonal businesses is technically closed right now, but we keep him employed earning money to go off to BYU-I in spring. He is the only active member in his family. It truly was the hand of Lord helping this young man get out on a mission without family support. His limited interaction with his family, with whom he lives, is being asked by his parents for rides home from the bar (designated driver) every other night. It is sad. So we support him even more because of it.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned that sometimes people don't get along with their families, don't want to talk to them (my family gossips and twists things to no end--so I say the bare minimum) and may not have mental issues at all--it drives me crazy that my family now suspects I have issues just because I don't like them (the church is really great at screening those out and making sure companions say something--I believe in the old handbook before they just barely updated it said that mission companions would face church discipline if they didn't report it, plus most of those people don't want to extend their missions). He may love the gospel, but just not want anything to do with his home ward (I can't stand my home ward knowing all the things my mom has said about me over the pulpit--but I am totally active/devout, however if I was visiting I might just come up with an excuse not to attend that Sunday--awful I know), and be planning on being fully active once he moves out. Digging into this may cause him to resent you both even more (great they never let me grow up/figure things out on my own/they still think I'm I kid). While it's possible that your child was disappointed with how few people he helped convert and is feeling like a failure and doesn't want to talk to his family or his ward for fear of that question (my husband hated his mission and doesn't like to talk about it because of that, but he didn't take it to the extreme your son did or extend his mission in hope that maybe he could baptize someone), it also could be a parent-child struggle and your child is probably perfectly healthy. Instead ask your husband how many details he shares with others at church on his son or if he gossips about others in front of your son (leading him to believe no secret is safe), and if you both are only treating him like a pseudo-adult--he seems to be acting like someone who wants space, chances are he wrote lengthy letters to other people, especially friends outside of the ward. A mission companion, not the president, is the best resource here. If they are tight-lipped, suspicious, or acusatory, you can bet your child isn't putting his family in the best light.

Hooo-boy. Comments like this raise my hackles a bit. If being in possession of a firearm helps you "feel safe", you might want to do some serious self-reflection about why you carry. Firearms aren't magic talismans, they don't ward off evil. They are not like strong gates and heavy doors with good locks, they don't keep bad guys away. If you want to "feel safe", spend 95% of your effort trying to not be around dangerous folks in the first place, deterring, avoiding, evading unsafe people and situations. Spend the last 5% preparing to respond should the unsafe events show up. Firearms are tools which let you respond to deadly situations that found you, despite your best efforts. I don't feel more or less safe with or without a gun. I am better equipped to respond to certain extreme unsafe situations with a firearm. You resolve it by considering the nature of feelings, and learning how to be mature enough to know what they're good for, and what they're not good for. Feeling safe or unsafe may or may not have the slightest thing to do with whether you are actually safe or unsafe. I like asking a question: Depending on your state's conceal carry laws, you are constantly surrounded by armed citizens. A certain number out of every 100 random citizens you meet in any given day, are armed. At gas stations, supermarkets, parks and streets, restaurants, businesses, many hospitals and government buildings and in churches. And it's been that way for decades. Here in Colorado, over 10% of CO citizens have a conceal carry permit. My questions: If this is news to you, did your feelings on safety change? If yes, then why are you putting so much emphasis on your feelings, since just becoming aware of something that has existed for a long time changes them? Isn't it better to think in terms of facts and probabilities and likelihoods and whatnot?

A large majority of the people I have had the "Utah Mormon" conversations with are really talking about one of two things. Utah valley culture and BYU culture. The last person I had this conversation with was on a serious anti-Utah Mormon rant. I got him talking about it in greater detail and he was telling me how awful it was living in Utah. Turns out his entire living in Utah experience was his four years living on the BYU campus. I pointed out to him that about 70% of the student population he was having issues with were not Utahns. His expression was priceless.

I've learned "redneck" is an honorific title. Rednecks are good ol' God-fearin' folk, their necks are red because they're out doing honest labor in the sun every day. "Hillbilly", on the other hand, is an insult. Calling someone a hillbilly is saying they're backwards, uneducated, toothless, illiterate, and probably their parents were related before the wedding.

If something really bad happened, and 'he told the Mission President', you would have heard. So, no reason "why" he wanted to extend his mission? I simply ask because if he was having actual problems during his mission, why did he request to stay there longer? Perhaps the actual problems or people he is trying to avoid are at home or in his ward? Who knows? ^^^agreed. Until then, it is a guessing game. Mental health, avoiding people at home/ward/past girl friend, faith crisis, abuse... is guessing only. IF you feel your back is against the wall you can always talk with the Stake President. Your son should have had an exit interview with him when he returned, plus he is local. He can not only give you advise, but help if there needs to be contact with the Mission President or better his last companion. Best Wishes to you @JKing

It’s cute that you believe they haven’t continued to pursue weaponization after JCPOA.

Someone ought to write an article about all the cultural issues perpetuated by the people that complain about culture

@Junior, why are you responding as @JKing ? I'm confused.

These judgements are quite common among members, and I often hear them from members who reside in California (obviously not always, just my experience). I once worked with a member who moved to California and then back to Utah and said, "Every Utah member needs to move to California and know what real life is like." The odd thing is that often these comments come from people who say, "Don't judge"! Some members really like Babylon and want Babylon to be in Zion. I will admit though, there are aspects of Utah living that are Utah seeded and are based in culture. No place is perfect.

It appears that the next group of movies will be during the High Republic about half a Millenia before Yavin.

Has anyone else ever had a mission companion say, "Hey, you're pretty good for a Utahn member"

I'm not from Utah, but my parents and many of my relatives and friends are. I lived in Utah for several years in my early adulthood, met and married my wife there, and had one of my children there. On the balance, I think Utahns are charming and Utah is a unique and very special place, with no snarky pun intended. Utah rocks.

What @Xavier seems to be suggesting is that Paul said that a woman's glory is the hair of her own head, while a man's glory is not his head (Jesus Christ), but woman. It's an interesting interpretation, worth thinking about, whether or not you decide there's anything to it.

How are you with wining? (Just checkin'.)

Before I answer your question, you need to understand that after the Saints migrated across the continent to Utah, the Church became by far the biggest social element among them.At first, it was a matter of survival: Zion's Cooperative Mercantile Institution was formed by Brigham Young as a way to keep the starving Saints from getting gouged by wholesalers. The people really depended on each other just to get by. By the mid-20th century, we find the Saints in Utah having evolved such that their social lives pretty much center on the Church. A typical ward member's schedule would go like this: You go to Sunday School on Sunday morning for a couple of hours (Priesthood meeting for the men), then go home. You return later that afternoon or evening for a two-hour sacrament meeting. Monday was a grab-bag of a day, but eventually became the agreed-upon day for "family night", later called "family home evening". Tuesdays were MIA night, which stood for "Mutual Improvement Association" (not "Missing In Action"), the Church's youth program. Wednesdays were when the Relief Society met. Thursdays were Primary, when the children gathered for activities. Friday often featured some sort of ward or quorum or group activity. Saturday commonly found the teens and young marrieds at a stake dance. And, of course, there were the ever-popular basketball, baseball, and other sports tournaments, interstake roadshows—really, all sorts of things. It is no wonder that non-LDS transplants to Utah often felt so excluded from the social goings-on around them. This began to change starting in maybe the 1960s. Certainly by the 1970s, there were attempts to rein things in, and by the 1980s the Church authorities had instituted a "consolidated" three-hour Sunday meeting schedule and had taken steps to be less demanding of the Saints' time. Because, you see, the activities offered by the wards to their members had ceased to be seen as social opportunities to which people looked forward, and had instead become, for many, Yet Another D*****d Thing I Have To Do For Church. Bad attitude? Yes, perhaps. But times change, for better or for worse, and the Church has to change some cultural elements to meet the needs of the people of the day. So, to answer your question: A "roadshow" was a traveling show, common the US during the 19th and early 20th centuries. In an LDS context, "roadshows" were plays or other performances done at a stake level, where each ward or other group (often the youth group from each ward) would put on a production for the entertainment of the stake members. These performances would typically travel from meetinghouse to meetinghouse, giving their performances to the various congregations who would come to watch. They were also done at an interstake level, where each stake might get together to cook up a performance, then again travel around to the other stakes to present them. A "gold and green ball" was a dance for LDS adults and youth, and was put on by the MIA youth. It was actually a pretty swanky affair, with lots of decorations, fancy eats, and often a band hired to play at the venue. They were common all over the Church probably up through the 1950s. In my early childhood in the 1960s, they were still pretty common where I grew up (eastern Washington), and I seem to remember them even into the 1970s. Gold and green were the MIA's official colors, hence "gold and green ball".

I have no idea, but I don't think going behind his back is a good way to earn trust. But @Jane_Doe and @MormonGator probably know better than I. Honestly, I have no experience here, except, I suppose, from his point of view - I have no children, nor experience with anyone else's. I just know that when I withdraw, delay or stop good things (like starting college or attending church), feel emotionally exhausted and just want to hide in isolation 24x7, it means I feel crappy about who and what I am or like I have nowhere to belong, and don't feel like I can trust the people from whom I am withdrawing enough to tell them the truth of what's bothering me. You have to find a way to help him feel like he belongs, regardless of anything he did, anything anyone else did, what he thinks or says - he needs to belong, to feel safe. And yeah, depending on the source of all this, he may need a professional to help him through it - whether that pro is a therapist of some sort or a priesthood leader probably depends on details we don't know.

My current experience mirrors yours, but here in California. Young people simply cannot afford houses in my area, and consequently there are few. Even renting in a decent area requires close to a six figure income. So Wards have hollowed out and are shrinking. In other parts of the State this is not true. There is a building in our stake that was designed for four Wards anticipating what was thought to be future growth. The building is gigantic. One ward is in attendance. I think the article has little to do with "church" culture and a lot to do with Utah Valley culture.

This chant of net blessings / gross blessings reminds me of something that one of my former Stake Presidents repeatedly taught. He would often say if you almost keep the commandments, you almost get the blessings. He said it so often that eventually i started to think about it. What I understood from what he was saying was that anything less than 100% of keeping the commandments was the same as almost keeping the commandments, and that if you were only almost keeping the commandments, you were almost, meaning not, receiving the blessings. I eventually came to the conclusion that this teaching of "if you almost keep the commandments you almost receive the blessings" was not a true teaching as it implies that complete perfection in keeping the commandments is necessary in order to receive blessings and it fails to take into account those who try hard to keep the commandments but are not completely successful. I believe that to some extent, blessings are proportional to the degree of obedience, and it is not the case that complete obedience is required before the blessings can start to flow. I believe it would be more correct to say that if you keep all the commandments, then you will receive all the blessings and that if you keep something less than all the commandments all the time, then you will receive something less than all the blessings. On another note, I knew someone who was penniless most of his life and would move from one temporary job to another, often with periods of unemployment in-between. When he really needed more money for some kind of special need, he would give much more than 10% in his tithing in the belief that the Lord would, in return, bless him with what he needed. He told me of at least two occasions when he did this, and he received the blessing that he needed and had been anticipating.

Even if the revelation is true, I can't see any reason why it should be a reason for him to changes his behaviour in mortality. If it's true that he's going to marry this woman in the next life, then he's going to marry this woman in the next life, regardless of whether or not he becomes friends with her here and now. If its true that he's going to marry her in the next life, then its in the next life that he needs to start building an association with her, not now. Perhaps you could ask him why, or on what basis, he needs to start developing an acquaintance with her here and now, given that the revelation said that he will marry not here and not now. I can't see any logical connection between him receiving a revelation that he will marry someone else in the next life, and the need for him to start building a relationship with that person now. The revelation does not explain or excuse the behaviour. On a related matter, many years ago, a sister in another ward told my mum that she had received a spirtual impression that in the eternities she will marry my brother. My brother was already dead at that time and was single at the time he died, with no current romantic interest. I can't remember if the sister who said this was already married at the time she said this to my mum. However, even after she was married, she continued to believe that she would marry my brother in the next life.

I am just being glib, not serious at all.

This actually rather supports what I'm saying. If we bar any discussion about "how likely is it that..." any of these would happen, I did my best to construct a list that anyone could look at and say, "If the Church did [item on list] I'd have a problem with that." The fact that you have strong convictions about any of those makes it seem likely that if the Church suddenly announced today "The Church will be solemnizing gay marriage" you might have a problem with that. And that's okay. It's good that people have convictions of faith. Anyone that could look at that list and honestly say that any of those could happen without them taking any issue with it at all is someone who I am genuinely concerned about. Do they even know how to form an opinion? Do they have any convictions at all? The point of the list is to encourage empathy. The way you feel about the prospect of the Church solemnizing gay marriage is how someone else feels about instituting polygamy, is how someone else feels about donating money to muslim groups. I guess my thesis is that everyone has a conditional testimony. Which is why it's kind of absurd to single out a specific form for criticism*. * yeah, I know, there are exceptions to that, but can we stick to the general concept for now?

I'm familiar with road shows. I was in one, I played a flower. 😊 M.

Pure would love the light, not hide in the dark (encrypted files), not forbid disclosure to the Bishop. IMO, it is this "keeping secret" business that is the red flag - I cannot find a way to believe innocence so long as encryption and "no one else must ever know" are in play.

President Ezra Taft Benson, Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson shared: The path your husband appears to be going down now: How has this supposed 'revelation' impacted you, as his only actual wife? Q: Do you, as his wife, believe that our Father in Heaven (knowing all) would provide your husband such a 'revelation' given what it is doing to your marriage now? Q: Has the Spirit testified to you of the 'truthfulness' of said 'revelation'? If not, why not? Moroni 10:5 Why would our Father in Heaven give your husband a revelation that would drive this wedge between you both? A wedge that is sending him down a path of actual action, that if followed even further very well could destroy your marriage? The feelings you described are not the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith I agree with @Just_A_Guy, "makes me think there may be some mental health issues at play here."

When it comes to personal revelations it can be hard to judge... but the Lord has given us a standard... "By their fruits you shall know them." The Fruits this revelation are bearing are questionable... Either the revelation is bad or his response to it is wrong. (Learning how to respond properly to revelation is also a test of ours) While you can't challenge the revelation you can and should challenge every action that he takes that moves him away from honoring the covenants he made to you with complete fidelity. Lusting after another woman is a sin... and if he is not there yet he is clearly headed that way.

I can’t say that God would or wouldn’t reveal something like that to a man. The fact that *any* man would go so far as to tell his wife that he had received such a revelation, however, makes me question a.) how did he think you’d take something like that? b.) why would he tell you that? What does he expect you to do about it in the here-and-now? Does he expect it to be a valid excuse for behavior you might otherwise object to? and c.) what made him think he might come out of such a conversation alive? The sheer bone-headedness of saying something like that to one’s wife, combined with his statements about being down and isolated, makes me think there may be some mental health issues at play here.

I admit I don’t often get up and share my testimony in Fast and Testimony Meeting. But, when I do share my testimony whether in Fast and Testimony Meeting, or in a Primary lesson, Sunday School lesson, or Relief Society lesson, I feel the responsibility that is on my shoulders. My responsibility is to teach or share with the Spirit, and to help my fellow members and/or investigators feel that Spirit. Because I do have a testimony and have felt the Spirit testify to me of the truthfulness of the gospel I feel I will have let my Savior down if I don’t testify. So, I will use the terminology “I know”, or “I testify in the name of Jesus Christ that ...”. And then I try to clarify why I know. I feel because I do know, I need to help those who are struggling. I want them to learn for themselves and know without a doubt so that when trials come their way, they have an anchor to hold on to. If they don’t know for themselves, when a a pivotal point comes in their life I hope they might remember me, Sister Classylady, and remember she knew! I hope they can hold onto my knowledge until they get their own. This is a responsibility I feel very strongly about.

As I've said many times, while Athanasian Christians and LDS Christians differ on the "how" 3 are 1, and it is important... honestly I find other difference in faith (like Armenian vs Calvinism) to be much larger and more impactful than this one.

I think its helpful to take things one step at a time, knowing that with each step we take, we grow in strength and ability to take even longer, harder steps in the future. By the time we get to the future, what seemed like a hard step when viewed from the beginning, may well end up being just another small step.

What I really dislike about articles (and writers) such as these is the bubble they live under. They have zero awareness that the Church extends beyond the streets of Utah. Saying this is "Mormon Culture" is as ignorant as Bernie Sanders saying Native Americans represent environmentalism...

I dislike articles like this because they come off as whiny. They always focus on the idea of "if only everyone changed to fit my own view of things then the church would be great". It's just silly. The Church of Jesus Christ in every dispensation has been filled with mortals. That means that since Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden, toes have been stepped on, people have been cold when they should have been kind, people have been nosy when they shouldn't have been, and rock steady members have apostatized and made others question their testimony. While I think honest attempts to improve ourselves are important, by complaining about everyone church wide instead of working on yourself, you guarantee nothing will happen. You can't change "church culture". You can change yourself, and while there are always exceptions and always will be until Christ comes again, most members are genuinely decent people who are trying to do better, so maybe try cutting each other some slack instead of complaining that everyone isn't perfect. Just my two cents.

this guy on youtube is pretty cool too, especially for a non member, he's very clear and easy to understand

Update: All is well. Husband isnt thrilled about it, but is at peace with the policy and entering a church building.

Sorry you're faced with this. My thoughts in no particular order: - the odds are slim - obedience brings blessings (study scriptures, talks that reiterate this) - get a copy of "The Cokeville Miracle" and watch it - if Samuel the Lamanite can be protected from arrows aimed right at him, your family can be protected, too - read Holland's talk about angels (Oct 08 conference) - "let your faith be bigger than your fear" (post this in your home) - maybe this is just another way leaders are asking the members to increase their faith - for all we know, leaders will quietly ask certain (trained) individuals to carry but this is a more organized approach of handling things in these last days - if a person's mission in life isn't done yet, you'll be spared - if something does happen and your family is affected, there's important work being done on the other side of the veil - stop watching/reading the news (having faith and peace is easier this way) - if the above doesn't help, I'd rather ignore policy than commandments (take sacrament regularly) {hugs}

In the Book of Mormon Captain Moroni Rebukes the people for thinking they can do "Nothing" and that God would just save them... Other places in the scripture we are told that God will fight our battles and protect us if we are faithful. It is a mistake to think those are contradictory statements rather then complementary ones. The trick is learning how to balance the two ideas... And that balance can be different for different people.... it can even be different for the same people at different times

Here's something I've found helpful: When the Lord chooses someone for a role, do you suppose He isn't aware of that person's opinions, preferences, judgement, and even political standing? When The Lord chooses someone, he chooses everything about that person. This is why presidents often have a singularly unique life of experience before their appointment. We can go deeper. I think when someone is called to an office, it is more often because of their opinions and judgement rather than in spite of. Yet, we all do this, we tend to more often think of church leaders in terms of the latter; especially true when the believe something we disagree with. Here's the bottom line: there is no office or calling in this church that isn't filled through the will of the Lord. I repeat, there is no office or calling in this church that isn't filled through the will of the Lord.